"Talking"
'Thinking'
"Master/Servant Link"
Noble Phantasm
Chapter 11: Did I become one for you?
"Shirou-chan?"
Archer winced, rather hesitantly he clasped Irisviels wrists and drew them away from his face.
"I told you…" He began, his voice hard "I threw away my name." that only seemed to break the woman in front of him, tears began to feely stream down her face as he let out of her hands.
"Why?" He turned to Kiritsugu, the man staring at him with some emotion Archer couldn't quite recognise "Why did you throw away your name?"
"...It doesn't matter anymore." Archer replied, however he found it difficult to look Kiritsugu in the eye, something the other man noted as his expression seemed to harden.
"Shirou." He repeated in a firmer tone "Tell me why?" Archer sighed and ran his hand through his hair, slicking it back into it's original style. He sent a look towards Shirou.
"How much do you know?" He asked, his eyes narrowed at the boy. Said person merely stared at Archer, a pensive expression on his face with minor confusion.
"Not a lot...I only know about our connection through memories of the fifth Grail war… although apparently they are different to your own according to Illya."
Archer nodded his head "In that case, it is best you don't know."
"W-what?" Archer turned back to Irisviel, the woman staring at him in shock "What do you mean?"
"I mean it doesn't concern you." Archer replied.
His head snapped to the side, not due to the impact of the blow, but due to the shock of actually being struck. He blinked in surprise as he stared at Irisviels outstretched hand which was now beginning to redden after striking his cheek.
"H-how dare you…" Her voice was hoarse, the tears flowing freely now "How dare you!" the woman was moments away from weeping "I am your mother, Emiya Shirou! You will tell me why exac-"
"But you're not."
"...W-what?" Irisviel recoiled as if struck "What did you…"
"You aren't my mother." He replied "I may have few memories of my life before I died, but I can tell you with absolute certainty, I had never met you in my life. I very much doubt I even knew you existed for much of it." Illya flinched at that, staring at Archer with a certain level of pain. "So no. Irisviel. You are not my mother."
He pointed over to Shirou "You are the mother of Emiya Shirou." He loomed over the woman "I. Am. Not. Him." with ever word the woman took a step back, her eyes becoming wider in shock.
"Onii-chan…" Illya called out, Archer turned to her with a cold expression.
"I'm not your brother either." Illya looked like she wanted to collapse "He's over there. I have no relation to you as a person. I am not your brother, like you are not my Illya. She's dead. She has been dead for so long that the only reason I even know what she looks like is because you share her face."
Kiritsugu frowned "What do you mean? You can't be much older than Shirou." Archer sighed "How can you forget so easily?"
Archer did something that no one expected.
He laughed.
It wasn't a joyous laugh or even a bitter one. It was empty. A disgusting sound which sounded completely alien to everyone who knew Emiya Shirou. An empty laugh which originated from a virtually empty man.
Behind his snark, there was simply nothing there.
Nothing but regrets.
"I suppose from an outside perspective it would seem strange, wouldn't it?" Archer stopped laughing "Indeed, my physical age can't be that different from Emiya Shirou. Most likely in my thirties."
Irisviel recovered herself enough to ask the obvious question "P-physcial age?" Archer turned to her with an expression so empty that it almost stopped her heart. She saw nothing in his eyes.
He turned to Illya "Master, dismiss me from my service to you. We are done."
"No." Illya replied "I won't. Not until you tell us why." she stamped her foot "Why are you so desperate to leave! Why don't you want to use your name anymore!?"
"Master-"
"Please!" She begged him "Please tell us!"
"Master. You're first dream. What did you see?"
Illya blinked in surprise, then her mind went back to her first nightmare. That small boy, wandering through Hell. "A fire…" She whispered out.
"Indeed." Archer nodded "What else?"
"Papa saving you from the fire."
"Indeed." Archer nodded again "What did he look like?"
"He looked…" Illya furrowed her brows "He looked happy… he was smiling."
"Indeed… Congratulations Master. You now understood the person that was Emiya Shirou."
"W-what?"
"I don't have very many memories of my life… yet I can still remember it." Archer was staring at the sky now, his eyes focused on something else "I remember walking through that hell… I walked through death… ignoring every single cry for help that came near me… all I wanted to do was keep walking… because that was the final wish of the boy who became Emiya Shirou wanted… he just wanted to escape. That fire claimed whoever I might have been that night."
He released a sigh.
"I have no wishes for myself… or rather I never could have. I remember that smile which you so elegantly described as a 'really pretty smile'. That man staring down at me, as if saying that by saving me, he himself had been saved. It elicited only one thought from me. Which would drive my person for the rest of my life." he turned to Illya "I don't even need to say it, do I? You experienced a similar thing when you first saw it. Didn't you?"
"I wish I could smile like that…" Illya replied her hands tightly gripping Ruby.
"Indeed. I admired his smile because it was beautiful. I envied Emiya Kiritsugu for that emotion he felt...However it didn't stay at admiration." Archer scowled "Emiya Shirou couldn't be content with something as simple as that." he turned to Kiritsugu "A Hero of Justice. That was what Kiritsugu lamented being unable to become. When he told me this before his death… I had no choice. I told him I would become a Hero of Justice for him… or rather I had no choice but to become one for him."
Kiritsugu remained silent, his eyes slightly widened and his expression slack.
"Emiya Shirou as a human being was broken." Archer bluntly put "To him, he would find no joy in anything bar the act of saving another. A fool who would claim to want to avoid death yet would willingly throw himself into danger to save another because to him it 'wasn't wrong'. Emiya Shirou had to become a Hero of Justice, he had to save everyone in front of him despite how impossible it sounded because he could find no other meaning in his life."
His gaze swept over the group, some flinching when he made eye contact with them.
"Do you understand?" He pointed at Shirou "I am not him, because he is more human than I could ever even hope to be. I had no other emotion in my being. I had to pursue my dream, because that is all I was as a person. Emiya Kiritsugu's final words to me were a curse." he spat the word, Kiritsugu now looking pale "A curse which would define my entire being and is the sole reason I even stand here now."
"What is it then?" Illya asked, Archer turned to her "A-are you sad you didn't become one?"
"...Heh." Archer shook his head, releasing an empty chuckle "You misunderstand, Master. I'm not here because I failed to become a Hero of Justice. I'm here because I succeeded."
"What?" Ruby asked, surprise in her voice "What do you mean? You're a Heroic Spirit, you are a modern day Heroic Spirit! A nearly impossible feat to accomplish! So what do you have to be so bitter about?"
"Indeed." Archer turned to the Mystic Code "For a modern day magus to ascend to the throne would be a grand achievement...However, I am not a true Heroic Spirit. I did not ascend to the throne through my own merits."
"Eh?" Illya blinked "But...but you said-"
"I told you what a true Heroic Spirit was." Archer frowned at her "However, there are other methods."
"Shirou-chan…" He turned back to Irisviel, the woman staring at him wide eyed and fearful "What did you do?"
"Conflicts came into my view for as long as I was alive…" He sighed out "It was endless, I never dreamt of a world without violence...I just didn't want the people in my view to cry… however my view of people kept expanding...I saved ten after saving one, a hundred after saving ten, I lost track of how many I needed to save...but that was fine with me, the more people the needed saving the more I would be needed. I was fine with that, I never did things to be appreciated or to be praised as a Hero." he smirked "I was content with that life, at the time is was myself doing all I needed, the ending of it didn't even matter to me. I don't even hate the people who killed me…"
"K-killed?"
"Who can trust a man who saves everyone and asks for nothing in return?" Archer shrugged "In the end, I was set up as the mastermind behind a conflict by the very people I had saved and was sent to the gallows."
"W-what…" Kiritsugu blinked, a look of horror crossing his face "You…"
"I died with a smile on my face. I did all I could do."
"Then…" Ruby asked again "How did you become a Heroic Spirit or whatever you call yourself if you were never praised as a Hero?"
"While I was alive I was contacted by the Counter Force." Archer replied, the group who knew anything about what he was talking about stilled at the mention of it. Irisviel and Kiritsugu felt a deep seated dread overtaking them at where the conversation was heading "I had a notion of what the Counter Guardians did. Therefore when it offered me a contract to become one after my death, I accepted without hesitation."
"T-then you're a-"
"Yes. I am a Counter Guardian rather than a True Heroic Spirit. A defender called forth when humanity faces a crisis and sent to eliminate the threat." He looked over to Irisviel and Kiritsugu, who were now staring at him with a great amount of horror and traces of pity "Ah, I see that you already know what the true purpose of my role is, don't you?"
"What do you mean, Oni-...Archer?" Illya asked, stepping towards him "I thought you said that you saved the world?" she smiled up at him "Wouldn't that make you a hero?"
"A Hero?" Archer scoffed, Illya recoiled from him "I defend humanity from threats. The one common theme within human history is that the greatest threat to humanity is itself. I am brought forth to clean up the messes created by people to save the people. I killed, and killed, and killed endlessly. Neither caring for those who were innocent or were guilty. Without discrimination I killed."
Archer scowled, his eyes glowing with rage "A Hero? I culled the very people I wished to save! That is why the person known as Emiya Shirou does not exist, because his life was a mistake. A broken human who could only find meaning through borrowed ideals. A fake." his gaze turned to Shirou, who seemed to freeze when Archers eyes locked onto him "Or at least… it was. I should thank you. You are the singular piece of evidence I need to convince myself that my life was wrong, that I didn't need to be a Hero of Justice." he turned to Kiritsugu "You as well. You renounced your ideals in order to have a family…"
His eyes turned back to Irisviel "That's my true Identity. The Heroic Spirit EMIYA… That is why I cannot remain. Because you don't deserve to have me here...and I don't deserve to be here." Archer found himself blinking again, rocking on his feet at the second impact he'd received from Irisviel. The woman having thrown herself into his chest and wrapping her arms around him while openly wailing.
"Master…" Archer turned to Illya "Let me leave...Please…" Illya almost blinked in surprise.
Archer's tone was bordering on begging, there was a pleading look in his eyes. Illya turned away from him. She blinked, trying to fight the tears in her eyes.
She exhaled, then turned back to Archer "No."
"Master-"
"No...I won't send you back Onii-chan."
"I'm no-"
"Yes. You are." She frowned at him "I don't care how much you deny it. You are my Onii-chan. I'm not going to let you go back."
Archer sighed "This is a pointless argument, Master. I cannot remain here forever. I will return eventually."
"I won't let you…" She said firmly, her eyes still watering "I won't let you go back like that...Because I'm going to save you."
"You can't save me, Master." Archer shook his head "Nor do I deser-"
"I can and I will!" Illya shouted at him "I'm not going to leave you like this! This isn't how its supposed to end for a Hero!"
"I'm not a-"
"Yes you are! I don't care if you say you're a fake or a guardian or whatever! You helped me with the cards! You're my Hero!" She was sniffling "And I can't lose you...I don't want to lose you...because I said I was going to be a hero...what kind of hero leaves a person in pain?"
Archer remained silent for a long time, he closed his eyes and released a sigh.
"You really are unreasonable...aren't you, Master?" Archer opened his eyes and looked at Illya "I'm trying to do what's best for you."
"Shirou…" Archer turned to see Kiritsugu had placed a hand on his shoulder, the Servant almost blinked in surprise when he noticed tears running down his face.
"Wha-" Archer was cut off when Kiritsugu threw himself around Archer, hugging the Servant. Irisviel was similarly still attached to him.
"I'm sorry, son…" Kiritsugu was whispering too him while shedding a few tears "I'm so sorry…"
Archer was left rather dumbfounded by this, he had been expecting Illya and Irisviel to become emotional at his reveal. Kiritsugu however, was someone he wasn't expecting to become emotional...and he really didn't know how to deal with that.
Archer sighed "Fine…" he muttered before turning to Illya's surprised face "Fine...you win...You'll deal with this killer for just a bit longer…" he turned his attention to Ruby "However, you will be going."
"Eh?" Ruby exclaimed in surprise "Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'?" Archer scowled "You were only allowed here for as long as the cards were a factor. With them out of the field of play, you are no longer needed to-"
He was cut off when Illya's phone began to ring, the girl blushed as she instantly found the attention of the group was placed solely on her "Sorry…" she said as she withrdrew her phone.
"Rin-san?" Illya answered "Sorry, its a bit of a bad time right no-...eh?...what do you mean?...EH!?"
The adults had unlatched themselves from Archer, the group now staring at Illya in confusion as the girl was talking to her phone.
"Alright...no, Archer agreed to stay...yes...no, Onii-chan is…" Illya searched for the right words "He is better now...no, I'll let them know...bye." she hung up, then gave the group a rather shaky smile.
"Illya?" Irisviel stepped towards the girl "Whats wrong?"
"Rin-san said that there was something wrong with the Ley lines… it means that I have to stay with Ruby for a bit longer…" she gave Archer a small shrug and an awkward smile, the Servant stared at her for a few moments before he sighed and palmed his face.
"I suppose my Service isn't quite over yet…" He turned his attention to Shirou "Well...What do you have to say about this?"
Shirou frowned and crossed his arms "I get the feeling I can't really stand you… but if its for Illya I can tolerate you being around me...and you don't have to worry, I won't be a Hero of Justice for you...I'll be one for Illya."
Archer stared at him for a few moments before he did something which caught everyone off-guard.
He smiled.
A proper smile which made the resemblance between himself and Shirou uncanny.
"That's good." Archer nodded "I'm glad."
Shirou shook his head and turned away "I'm happy you approve...I'm not you...and I never will be."
"Right then…" Archer nodded "I suppose we shou-Oi!" He winced as Irisviel struck him in the back of the head with a wire bell, Archer turned to her with a questioning expression.
"While I am happy you are staying with us, Shirou-chan-" She began wiping her eyes clean.
"My name is n-"
"-I feel it is necessary to punish you for being such a silly child earlier." She smiled as she began forming more objects out of wire "I think you have been without a good mother figure for too long." Her smile took a more dangerous hint to it "I think it is best we start sooner, rather than later."
Archer had fought countless battles.
He had emerged unvanquished from all of them. Thus he knew he had the knowledge on how to deal with this situation.
And immediately reverted to his spirit form.
"You can't stay like that forever Shirou-chan~" Irisviel sang as the objects began to dissipate "I'll be there for you, whether you want me to or not~"
Kiritsugu shook his head, although his mind was still reeling from the reveal and what had happened.
A Hero of Justice…
Kiritsugu wasn't Archers father… the servant had made that abundantly clear, however that didn't change how he felt… he still felt that he had failed him and Illya.
He turned his gaze to his other two children, his mind hardening.
He wouldn't fail them again.
Archer had a destination to arrive at first, before he returned to his Masters home. He saw the girl he had been meaning to talk to.
Miyu, she was cleaning again, near the same spot as last time.
Archer steeled himself as he reappeared in front of the girl, she blinked at him and stumbled slightly as he appeared in front of her.
"Archer?" Miyu stared at him in surprise, the Servant stared her down then closed his eyes and sighed.
"It seems my identity has been revealed…" He opened his eyes and saw her were wide, her mouth beginning to open, he waved her off "It is through no fault of yours...it was...an inevitable outcome I supposed...Therefore, when you call me by my name you will have an excuse as to why you know in that you will say I told you."
Miyu blinked at him in confusion "Why?"
"I don't know…" Archer shook his head "Something about you...feels familiar and I would rather not have you the subject of suspicion...I will not ask you to share your secrets with me. It is not my business." he looked her in the eyes "However, ask yourself how long you feel you can keep whatever it is you are guarding hidden...I'll see you around…" he turned and faded away.
Miyu allowed herself a small smile, he wasn't leaving just yet.
He wasn't him...Illya's brother wasn't him either…
But Miyu couldn't find it in herself to complain…
It would be fine to at least be around Archer for a bit longer… just for the thought that he was still there. That might be enough for her…
"Miyu-sama?" Sapphire floated over to the girl "Is something the matter?"
Miyu shook her head "No, Sapphire..." she replied, the small smile on her face remaining fixed "I just...thought of something nice is all."
AN: Short chapter again.
Sorry, but I wanted to have the whole reveal in one chapter and have it dedicated to solely that purpose rather than anything else.
Although it does mean that we'll be moving properly onto Arc 2 in the next chapter...which will be in…
Umm...sometime in the future.
Sorry again. Anyway, we'll have to find a way for Archer to be incorporated into the Emiya life!
Say...I wonder how good a teacher he is?
*Narrows eyes and hums in thought.*
