A/N – First of all I would like to thank whom ever it was who nominated me and my completed stories for the Numb3rs Fan Fiction Awards. That was a pleasant e-mail to get.
Patty had a question about the vacuum assisted closure system. Yes it is fairly common to use this system with large poorly healing or poorly vascularized wounds. The technology is available all across the country. There are some downsides to this technique so it is not used as a matter of course for all wounds.
You were also wondering about the baby.
Adam is over the conjunctivitis but is still suffering from croup and a head cold that is making it tough for him to eat because he can't breathe out of his nose very well. The biggest concern I had about him over the past week was due to the fact that last Tuesday evening while I was at work and Daddy was downstairs making dinner the 8yr. old and the 5 yr. old decided to give him a bath. The water they used was too hot and they scalded his private parts. I have had a long and serious discussion about what they are not allowed to do with the baby without Mommy or Daddy being present. All in all it has been a difficult week for the whole family. The scald is getting better and the other cold symptoms will abate with time.
I am humbled by all of your support and I am honored that you thought well enough of my writing to nominate me.
Yours respectfully,
Alice I
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Before Alan had a chance to drift off to sleep Charlie looked over at him and stared until his father looked up and met his eyes.
"What is it, son?"
"What was Don saying before he was taken up to the operating room about not getting to him in time, about not saving him? Was he talking about me?"
Alan sighed and sat up in the recliner. He was ashamed of his words to Don the night Charlie had been abducted. Charlie saw this look of shame in his father's eyes and felt his heart drop a little.
"I said some things out of fear that I shouldn't have. When you and Agent O'Donnell were taken I blamed your brother for it. I told him that you didn't belong in his world; that he shouldn't choose this life for you. He was devastated but I was so full of fear and anger that I didn't see it, or I didn't want to. I told him to find you before it was too late and then I walked away from him without looking back."
Charlie went a white at these words. He knew that Don always felt responsible for any of the people under his command when things went wrong even if there was nothing at all he could do to prevent one of those people from coming to harm. Charlie also knew that Don felt that same thing ten fold where he was concerned. When he had been abducted, Charlie could only imagine the private hell that his brother put himself through trying to find him before he could be murdered. The fact that his father had said those things to Don would have only intensified those feelings in him.
"Why, Dad? Why would you say that to him? It wasn't his fault that we were kidnapped. I chose to work on this case. He tried to take me off of it but I wouldn't let him. This wasn't his fault!"
Tears of regret welled up in Alan's eyes and dropped down his face. "I know Charlie, but I was frightened. I thought that I had lost you forever. I lashed out at Don because he was there. I shouldn't have and I tried to apologize to him later but he had already decided that this entire thing was his fault. When he told me that he hadn't saved you I didn't understand. Then he told me what you had witnessed or rather heard; that you were awake while Agent O'Donnell was murdered. Your brother will never forgive himself for getting you involved with this case and my words in anger and fear only cemented that feeling for him."
Alan's voice grew husky at the end of his statement and he couldn't hold back the sob that escaped him. "I'm so sorry for what I said but, sometimes words spoken can never be taken back. I hurt your brother deeply and that is something I will regret for the rest of my life."
Charlie didn't know what to say to his father. Part of him wanted to comfort the man and part of him wanted to lash out in anger for hurting Don in a way that he was sure cut deep into his heart.
"Get some sleep while you can, Dad."
Charlie didn't mean to sound cold but he couldn't help it. He looked away from his father and stared pointedly at Don. He didn't want to see his father just then because he was afraid he might say something that he would regret. His father was right about one thing; sometimes words once spoken can never be taken back.
Dr. Hammell said that Don was in for a rough night and even with that admonishment Charlie was a little unprepared for how rough it actually was. By nine o'clock in the evening Don had awakened from the sedative and was delirious with a fever that had spiked back up to almost 104. He had been given a strong intravenous antibiotic as well as an anti-inflammatory agent in another small bag that the head nurse had attached to his IV.
The anti-inflammatory helped to bring the fever down to 102 but Don was still thrashing around in his delirium mumbling incoherently. Charlie held his hand tightly and spoke to him constantly to try and keep him calm.
Alan was unable to sleep at all with his son in the throws of this fever and held Don's other hand to prevent him from pulling at the tube running from the wound on his chest and was stunned by the strength in his son's grip after his body had been so traumatized. He had to maintain a tight hold on his son's sweaty hand and prayed silently that this would not last all night long. He wasn't sure he had the strength to maintain this physical vigil for hours on end.
Even Charlie started to wonder if he had made a poor choice in refusing to let them use restraints on his brother until Don began screaming the way he had when Shelly was cutting him.
"I never hurt you!...
Please don't do this!...
…If I die like this it will kill my family! They never hurt you...
…I'm sorry Charlie."
The words were slurred and halting but both Alan and Charlie understood them. When Don said he was sorry, tears leaked out from beneath his closed eyes. Don kept apologizing for not keeping his promise and Charlie just kept reassuring him that he had kept it and that it was over now.
The most difficult moment for Charlie was when Don opened his eyes and spoke to his mother as though she was standing right in front of him.
"Mom… I tried…
God please forgive me. Mom I'm sorry, I didn't protect him…
…I wasn't good enough…
I never was…"
"Stop it Don! I'm safe. You saved me." Charlie let go of Don's hand and placed both of his hands on his brother's face turning his head so that he was looking directly at Charlie. "I'm right here, Don."
"Charlie?"
"I'm here, Don. I'm safe and so are you."
"I promised her… because she loved you best, I promised to take care of you for her."
Charlie felt a deep pain in his heart at these words. "She didn't love me best, Don. Don't say that."
"It's ok. I know you're special. I was just…
…just Don; nothing special about me."
"Don't say that, Don! Mom loved you. Dad loves you, I love you. You are special! You're special to me!"
Don seemed to see his brother for the first time. His eyes cleared a little and he whispered, "I'm sorry Charlie, I tried."
His eyes closed then and he fell into a fitful sleep. Charlie felt tears sting his own eyes as he sat back down in the chair next to Don's bed. He took a hold of his brother's hand again and laid his head down on the edge of the bed thinking about the things Don had said. The logical side of his mind told him that Don is sick and delirious and couldn't be held accountable for anything he said, but his heart knew that if his brother had said these things then he felt them deep down inside.
'Did Mom favor me? How can that be?'
She was always saying how proud she was of Don. She was the one who suggested that Charlie make special cards for his brother when it was his birthday and then helped him to do it. She was always the one who told Charlie to forgive Don when he got angry about him tagging along. She had explained to Charlie hundreds of times that sometimes Don just needed a little space to be with his friends.
Charlie had often thought that his mother loved Don more because he was her normal boy. Don didn't require all this extra time and attention. He was always steady, ready and willing to help. He was the one that his mother depended on when his father was working long hours and couldn't be around to help with his high maintenance child. But Don was there, Don was always there.
Charlie clearly remembered his mother talking on the phone to Aunt Irene saying that sometimes Donnie was the glue that held this family together. She told her aunt that with Alan working such long hours to make extra money for Charlie's tutors while she filled the roles of housewife, and mother in between working on cases for her law firm, it was Don who was the rock that she leaned on.
Charlie sat quietly and wept for all of the years that he and Don had misunderstood each other. He wept for the lost time that he would never get back with his mother, and for the strength that he never seemed to have when it really mattered. His father had drifted off in the recliner on the other side of the bed and Charlie listened to his soft snores as he thought about everything that had happened over the last few weeks.
'I promise you that I will be strong enough for all of us. I won't be scared anymore. This time you can lean on me.'
With that conviction humming in his heart, Charlie too dropped off to sleep.
When the first pale rays of sun filtered through the window blinds Charlie opened his eyes. He heard his father still sleeping in the recliner at the other side of the bed. He suddenly realized that he had fallen asleep and had not been watching his brother. With a rush of adrenaline he sat up quickly and turned his head to look at Don and felt a sharp pain in his back and neck eliciting a soft groan from his lips. The position he had fallen asleep in had cramped his muscles and they protested forcefully to his movements.
Don lay peacefully sleeping, his right hand still in Charlie's. His hand felt cool to Charlie and he raised a sore arm to touch his brother's forehead. Relief washed over him as he realized that the fever had broken during the night.
Charlie sat up slowly working against his protesting muscles and scrubbed his hands over his face. What he wanted more than anything at that moment was a shower and a cup of hot coffee. There wasn't too much he could do about the shower but he sat there debating leaving for a few minutes to get some coffee when the morning nurse entered the room quietly.
"Good morning." she said, in a hushed tone not wanting to wake up her sleeping patient. She came over to the bed quietly and checked Don's pulse and temperature.
"He had a tough night didn't he?"
"For a while there yeah, he did. The fevers gone now; right?" Charlie looked hopefully at her.
"99.8, that is much better than yesterday to say the least. He will probably sleep most of the day today."
She bent down and inspected the collection container of the VAC system and jotted something down on a notepad that she had with her.
"The cafeteria is open if you want to get some coffee and something for breakfast."
Alan had roused as Charlie and the nurse spoke and sat up stretching. He looked at Don and also felt relief as he saw that he was finally resting peacefully.
"Coffee sounds good; do you want me to go?" Alan said looking at Charlie.
"That's all right, Dad, I'll go. I need to work out the kinks anyway."
Alan stood up and came around the bed before Charlie could leave and pulled him into an embrace right in front of the nurse that embarrassed him a little. She sensed the younger man's discomfort and having finished with her morning assessment quickly left the room.
"Dad, um… you can let go now."
Alan held his youngest at arms length and got a serious look in his eye. "I know that what I told you last night upset you. I'm sorry."
Charlie had mixed feelings about this and wasn't expecting his father to bring it up at that moment, but before his tired mind could formulate any kind of response his father continued talking.
"I'm very proud of you, Charlie. The way you stood up for your brother, refusing to let the staff use restraints, staying awake with him all night, watching over him. Don is very lucky to have you here looking out for him."
Charlie was stunned by this. He had never considered himself to be the one doing the protecting and watching out for the other. He ducked his head as a tide of emotions washed over him, most of which he didn't really understand.
"I'll go get some coffee for both of us."
He stepped away from his father and made it to the door before Alan could say anything else. When he stepped out into the hallway he saw that a different agent than last night was sitting in a chair a few feet from the door. This agent looked up and nodded to Charlie then asked where he was going.
"Um… I'm going down to the cafeteria to get some coffee, would you like some?"
The agent stood up and looked back at the room door. He was not sure what to do in this situation. He had been charged with the protection of the Eppes brothers but if Charlie went off to the cafeteria on his own he was not sure whether he should go with the younger man or remain at his post by Agent Eppes' door. He was saved from having to make that choice when he looked down the hall and saw Agent Reeves approaching with four coffee's in a carry case.
"Good morning, Charlie. How is Don this morning?"
Charlie turned around and smiled at the smell from the coffee cups that she held. She had gone to the Nut House again and that coffee was far superior to the hospitals.
"He had a rough night but he's sleeping now. You're here kind of early aren't you?"
Megan's smile faltered a little.
"Yes, well there is something that I need to discuss with you and your father."
She walked past Charlie and held the door to Don's room open for him. When Megan and Charlie walked into the room Alan got up and greeted her warmly. He filled her in briefly about the night and Don's fever as he took a cup of coffee. Once they had all taken seats Megan began to speak.
"We have a situation that needs to be addressed. Shelly Arbury had a late visitor last night; a Marco Benadero who is the personal council for Anthony Sborgia. Mr. Bernadero is the legal representation on record for Shelly Arbury as of ten o'clock last night. That is a mob connection that we simply can not ignore. I know that you want to stay here with Don but that isn't a good idea at this point. I'm going to need to take you both to the safe house where you will have to stay. You won't be able to come back to the hospital."
Alan paled visibly but Charlie looked at Megan with stony eyes.
"I am not just going to leave. Don needs us, he needs me. There is an agent outside the room, so what's the problem?"
Charlie hadn't realized that his voice had risen while he spoke and spun around so quickly when Don spoke that he experienced a brief moment of dizziness.
"You're too exposed here, Charlie. You and Dad will be safer if you go with Megan."
Don's voice was weak but it held a note of conviction that he hoped broached no argument.
"What about you? You are just as exposed here as we would be; worse, if something were to happen you couldn't defend yourself right now."
"Charlie, listen to me. The prosecution needs both of us to testify. If we are together we make an easier target. They could take care of the problem in one shot. With you at the safe house killing both of us is going to be a hell of a lot harder to do; probably impossible. That's why you have to go and stay there."
Don closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. He was exhausted and the talking had drained his strength. Charlie was at his side in an instant. He took a hold of Don's hand and waited for him to open his eyes again.
"I'm not leaving." he said, in a firm and quiet voice.
"Charlie, do the math. Going to the safe house is the right thing to do; it's the logical thing to do."
Charlie smiled a sad sort of smile. "It is the logical thing to do; but it's not the right thing to do; not for me. Don, we're in this together and I am not leaving you. You said you believed in me, well then believe me now. I'm staying here until we can leave and go to the safe house together. You are too weak to argue with me so don't even try."
Megan expected some resistance but she hadn't expected this quiet yet rock solid resolve that she was getting from Charlie.
"Look, Charlie, I'm really sorry but I'm going to half to insist. You don't have a choice in this."
Charlie stared at her for a moment, studying her face. "Am I under arrest, Agent Reeves?"
"Damn it, Charlie, you are just as stubborn as your brother!"
"Hey, I'm not the stubborn one; I'm the hard ass." Don said this and gave his father a weak smile.
Alan, however, found no humor at all in this situation. "You are both stubborn and this is not an argument I am willing to listen to any longer."
Alan turned to Charlie and fixed him with his best 'I'm the parent' piercing stare.
"Charles Edward Eppes, you will not put your life, nor the life of your brother at risk because you are being bull headed. If you are both here then the chances that these people will attempt to kill you both are extremely high. If we go to the safe house your brother becomes a less likely target. If your brother dies he isn't a target at all."
Charlie's jaw nearly hit the floor and Megan looked beyond shocked by what Mr. Eppes had just said. Don nodded in agreement however which confused the two of them even further.
"I guess I will just have to kick it then. That was some nasty infection after all."
Megan and Charlie looked on incredulously for another moment before they both understood what Alan and Don were suggesting.
"That doesn't change anything! Don, you will be lying here in this hospital bed with no one. That's not going to happen!"
Charlie was not happy with this arrangement at all.
"Look, Charlie, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. You need to go with Megan, so does Dad. If we put out a press release that I died of my injuries but assure the public that the FBI killer is safely behind bars then they won't come looking for me. It does mean that all of the attention will be on you. This is not something that I am overly happy about. I don't like putting either of you at risk like this but it's our only choice."
Don seemed to deflate a little as he tired, but he was determined to finish. He knew all to well how stubborn Charlie could be once he had made up his mind about something.
"I need you to be strong now, Charlie. Dad needs you, and I need you. I know that you don't want to do this but it has to be done. They can move me to another room; another floor even. If it is necessary they could even move me to another hospital under an alias. Once I am fit to leave the hospital I can be moved to the safe house with you."
Don could see Charlie mulling over the entire situation in his mind. A large part of him knew that Megan and Don were right, but he had promised himself that he would be there for Don no matter what happened.
"Please, Charlie, I can't get back on my feet if I am worried sick that we are both going to be assassinated at any moment."
Charlie locked eyes with Don and each tried to read the other.
Don wanted desperately for Charlie to be safe. If his brother lost his life because of this case he knew that he would not be able to go one living. His life, his job, his entire existence would be meaningless.
The promise that Charlie made to himself and his family last night floated to the surface of his mind.
'I promise you that I will be strong enough for all of us. I won't be scared anymore. This time you can lean on me.'
Perhaps being strong meant going against his gut instinct.
Don knew he had won this argument when Charlie lowered his gaze to the floor and his shoulders slumped. He sighed silently with relief because he now knew that his family would be kept safe.
Megan stood up and put her hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Don will be fine, Charlie, I promise you that. I'll give you all a few minutes of privacy."
She turned a quietly and left the room. Alan and Charlie stepped over to Don's bed and each took one of his hands. They didn't say anything to each other; they just allowed their love for one another to fill the silence between them. After a few minutes Don's eyes grew too heavy to keep open and he drifted off to sleep.
Charlie met his father's gaze and they both had tears on their cheeks. Alan bent down and kissed his oldest son on the forehead then stood up and walked out of the room leaving Charlie alone with his brother.
Charlie bent low over Don's slumbering form and whispered in his ear, "I love you."
Don didn't verbally respond but he squeezed Charlie's hand lightly before his hand went slack. Charlie laid his brother's hand down on the bed and turned to leave the room without looking back.
