Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.

Author's Notes: I'll try to keep up with updating, but I've also been editing a lot lately, in addition to real life stuff. Anyway, enjoy. And tell others about this story. I'm afraid that very few people are actually reading this.



Chapter 22: Pangs

Vegeta walked into the house, having finished a nice five hour training session. But he wasn't so tired as to not notice his sister being trapped again by a certain pair of demi-Saiyans. 'Hmph. She never should have started telling those stories,' he though with amusement. 'And doesn't Gohan's brat ever go home? It's like Trunks and Goten all over again.'

In a fit of whimsy, he chose to stay and listen.

Jita's story:

"It doesn't matter how long ago it happened. It doesn't matter where it happened. Suffice it to say, it was before the Planet Vegeta, in the early days of the Saiyans on a planet lost from memory. The Saiyans were, of course warriors, having formed a rough society. Yet the population was small. The Saiyans had no civilizing traits, and most children were killed by mothers glad to be rid of the encumbrance. Only those Saiyans who formed a bond ever prospered.

Among this chaos, the Two met. They were the strongest of the Saiyans, and had long sought each other out. Their battle raised the bar in fighting - and violence. What had begun as a simple contest had become true hatred. Neither man nor woman could gain the advantage, so the battle ended in a draw.

But the war had not ended. The two had been fighting for the respect of all the Saiyans - and each other. For years they fought, their power constantly growing. Eventually, they won each other's respect and became mates. They continued fighting, having to keep earning respect."

By this time Pan interrupted. "And their baby was the first Super Saiyan."

Bra also couldn't resist interrupting. "And he unified all the Saiyans under his rule, which led to a great Saiyan empire. All the weak elements of the Saiyans were destroyed."

"And his line branched in two - the royal line and a line of strong warriors."

"Both of which can be traced to us over thousands of years!" Bra ended with a flourish.

Jita looked pointedly at the two demi-Saiyans. "Why do I even tell you these stories when you know them all by heart? Now leave me alone, brats."

The two were undaunted by this angry dismissal. "Thanks, Jita!" they yelled over their shoulders, running out the door. "Hi Daddy! Bye Daddy!" Bra rushed past him in the blink of an eye.

"You were listening to that?" Jita noticed her brother at last.

"Hmph. You'd think those stories would have more of an influence on Bra. You'd think she was one of these pathetic humans if it weren't for her untrained strength."

"Well maybe," Bulma unceremoniously interrupted, "my child has better things than fighting in her future."

"Woman, if you can't get it through your head -"

Jita chuckled and quietly slipped out of the house, leaving the couple to quarrel to their hearts' content.

"I think I'll go see Chichi," she said to herself.

*****

"Goten?" Chichi stared hard at the sky. She had often seen illusions of her husband and sons when they had been off to kami-knows-where. She'd gotten used to not trusting her eyes.

"Hi Mom."

"Goten!" It wasn't an illusion; she got further proof by embracing her son. She couldn't speak for the joy, but that didn't stop her from pulling him into the kitchen.

Goten laughed easily. "I'm fine, Mom. Really."

"Nonsense. You can't have been feeding yourself properly."

Yet Chichi could tell this was a false statement. Her boy, who was now more of a man, looked healthier than he ever had. And stronger. And surprisingly well-kempt, since he'd been living in the wilderness. But his appetite was the same as ever.

After a few minutes of laughing and eating, Goten got serious. "Mom - I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I mean -"

Chichi cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Goten . . . I know. I've gotten used to the idea. You've grown up, and you make your own decisions on how you want to grow up. It's hard for me to accept. I still want to make you into my little boy."

"You're a better mom than I deserve."

"I know."

The two broke off laughing. Chichi was content to tell everything that had happened - mostly about Pan.

After a while, Goten looked at the clock. "I'd better go. I'd rather not run into Dad just yet."

This pained Chichi to see such a rift in her family, but all she could do was smile and nod. "Don't wait so long between visits."

But Goten didn't hear her.

He'd felt that energy before.

"Hello, Chichi."

Jita was about to continue, but she stood frozen before Goten. "Hello, Goten."

Somehow he couldn't even glare at her. He couldn't even answer her. He wasn't ready to deal with that. He simply took off, leaving Jita with some actual pangs of regret.

*****

She was haunting Goten again. Not even letting him sleep in peace. She just wouldn't leave him alone.

Maybe Trunks's visit had gotten Goten to thinking about her. She was Trunks's aunt, after all. Despite the weirdness, it was obvious.

I hurt. Goten had been so sure about her. As Sarah, she'd been perfect. Sure, others said she wasn't that pretty. She was very short, shorter than Vegeta, and she had the palest skin. She was fit, but not very well- developed in figure. Her dark brown hair went all over the place, and bangs hid a widow's peak. Her mouth was in a perpetual scowl, occasionally changing into a smirk. On that note, why hadn't he seen before who she looked so much like? It was so obvious now.

Goten thought she was beautiful - so beautiful. Not only her looks, but her spirit. That fiery spirit that had attracted him in the first place. She was so different from the other girls - more serious, less frivolous. She hadn't giggled at his every word. She hadn't even tried to impress him. She was - real. She had substance. And she wasn't scared whenever he accidentally broke something with his hard-to-control strength.

He'd confided in her. About his father, his family, his feelings. He'd told her how much he'd hated his father's roaming ways, and how he was so afraid he'd become like that. He'd told her about his mother, how she was so controlling, and was always afraid of him getting killed. He'd even told her some of his involvement with Buu, know she wouldn't even remember.

She'd been so interested, had listened so intently. He'd talked for hours, not even realizing the time. Goten had thought he'd finally found someone who truly understood him and accepted him. That feeling was so indescribably - fulfilling. He would never be alone.

But then - the picnic.

Sarah - no, Jita - had been listening so intently for some clue as to the existence of Vegeta. She'd been so interested in the Saiyan families just for this reason - to gather information . . . to kill someone . . .

I hurt so much.

How could he be so foolish? I had been so long since he could open up to anyone. Chichi and Gohan had been going through so much on their own. And Goku - well . . .

Why did Goten have to open up? He'd risked his feelings, and had gotten seriously burned. She didn't care.

'But maybe if she came to me. . .'

No. She wouldn't. He knew that.

Having mentally exhausted himself, he cursed Jita one last time, and fell asleep to bittersweet dream of his hateful love.

*****

Jita stared at the computer screen, eyes burning from the long hours spent on the paper. The forgotten coffee at her side had long since gotten too cold to drink, which was too bad, since she needed to caffeine and didn't feel like getting up to make another one. It would take up time, anyway. And she might lose her train of thought. Not that it wasn't lost already . . .

The words on the screen mocked her. 'The role of the father and father- figure in Hamlet can be . . .' Why did she have to pick that topic? What did she know about father-figures? And why couldn't she write like normally?

Jita sagged in frustration. No matter what she put down, her views would be so far from the Earth culture that the paper would be almost incomprehensible. But she couldn't completely conform to Earth society. She was Saiyan, after all. A true Saiyan. Absolutely ignoring those views would be an insult to the memory of her culture. She knew that. She knew she couldn't change entirely, no matter how easy it would be to do or how easy it would make her life.

A knock came at the door. "It's open!" she yelled. She was a mix of frustration and gratitude when the door opened to reveal Vegeta. Gratitude that now she had something to distract her from the English paper from hell (she could imagine that her old master would give her something like this to do) and frustration for the same reason. "Hello brother. What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm working?"

Vegeta strode in and looked over her shoulder at the words on the computer screen, or the lack thereof. "Yes, I see. Is that all you've gotten done in the last few hours?"

Jita scowled at this attest to her unfortunate case of writer's block. But then she smiled and pulled up another file, showing a ten-page ethics paper on the ethics of war. She was confused about the ethics part of war, but at least she was writing something she was familiar with.

Vegeta quickly skimmed the paper. "Hmph. I could never stand people overanalyzing fighting."

Jita smiled. "I guess it's easier to overanalyze when you don't actually fight. These humans must do SOMETHING to fill their time."

"So, analysis and study is only for people who are not warriors?"

Jita hated it when Vegeta boxed her in with her own words. "So, this is about my not coming over to spar, is that it? I AM training, and I'm not going to become like Gohan. Is that what you're worried about? Because if you're worried about Trunks, you're in the wrong room."

Vegeta growled. "I'm the one who's supposed to be telepathic, not you. And yes, the brat worries me. I won't have him become weaker than Kakarrot's brat. I couldn't stand the smug expression on Kakarrot's face."

"Gohan wouldn't be - oh, you mean Goten. Is he really getting that strong?"

"Can't you sense him, child?" Vegeta stated this as if it were obvious.

Jita gritted her teeth. "I'm not very proficient in sensing ki. I'm working on it, but it is difficult. So, could Goten get that strong?"

"Why are you so interested in Goten?"

"No reason." Jita looked quickly back at her computer.

But Vegeta would have none of it. "You can't hide anything from me, child."

Jita continued to stare straight at her computer. "I don't want to talk about him."

Vegeta stared at her, realization dawning on his face, followed close by horror at the implications. "You're not SERIOUSLY thinking of . . ."

Jita jerked her head toward him. "And why not? I'll tell you why not. Because it's unnatural. Because he's too young for me. Because he wouldn't trust me anyway. Because I used him. Because he's too good for me. Because I wouldn't doom him to the fate of having a soulless mate. That's why I wouldn't seriously think of . . . But he keeps haunting me. He won't let me alone. And I can't do anything about it."

She hadn't even told Chichi, her confidante, all this. Somehow she could open up with Vegeta. But she still felt shame at blurting out her feelings, showing weakness. She almost expected a lecture on weakness and the danger of forming attachments. Jita had gotten enough of those lectures from her brother when she was a child.

Instead, Vegeta sat at the edge of her bed, looking at her in an understanding way. He seemed to show wisdom that she had not been aware of - a wisdom that had come from his experiences on Earth. "I am aware of how hard it is. These earth people, they're like a virus. They get under your skin and in your head, determined to change you. You can't get away from them. It's useless to struggle. You can try to drive them away with harsh words and feigned disinterest, but they won't give up. They keep coming. And then you start to feel yourself changing. No matter what you do, you can't stop it. It'll make you do crazy things, like blowing yourself up - or fusing." Vegeta took a moment to shudder. "You become a completely different person. And you know what the craziest thing is? You actually like the person you've become."

Jita remained wide-eyed and speechless. Her eyes followed Vegeta as he got up and made his way to the door. He turned back, and said as an afterthought, "Finish that paper so you can come and train. Kakarrot and I are going crazy only having each other to spar with."

After he left, Jita slowly regained her composure. Turning back to the computer, she started writing with a surprising renewed vigor. Maybe she knew something about father-figures after all.









Author's Notes: Thanks, as ever, to my reviewers: Omega (kudos to the first reviewers), tim333 (you know, I actually didn't notice how much I focused on Jita. I'm glad you found the chapter captivating), AnonymousCat (writing that dream gave me the chills, too. I almost didn't include it, but I'm glad I left it in. I've gotten lots of comments on it), and my friend Dark Wolf (I can't believe you read my story in one sitting. And reviewed more than once. I glad for the appreciation and criticism. It's hard to have a good fic that very few people read.) Everyone, read "A Saiyan's Worth" by Dark Wolf. It's an excellent story already, and it has promise to get even better. His battle sequences are extremely vivid, and his characterization is wonderful. If you're into Gundam Wing, then those are probably worth reading as well. Not being a Gundam Wing fan, I wouldn't appreciate the stories.

Until the next time I update. Farewell.