Evaluate This!

Chapter 16

Pansy Attacks (again)


"You can't run forever!" Pansy shouted down the corridor as she slowed, then stopped. Her breath came out in short puffs. She watched Draco's head turn slightly a look of triumph crossing his face before he ran headlong into a wall.

"Gotcha." Pansy huffed and took off towards the dazed Slytherin.

Draco gingerly touched his forehead. "Shit." He whispered as he heard Pansy behind him.

"It's over Drakie. You're marrying me, I told you that you would."

Draco turned around. "Nothings over yet." He took off again, only to run into Hermione, knocking them both to the ground.

"Uh…" Hermione blinked. "Could you get off?"

Draco mumbled, getting to his feet. "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to her Drakie. Come here, are you hurt?" Pansy took hold of Draco's arm, yanking him to her. Her hands ran over him, an overprotective mother—or rather someone inspecting the value of an object.

Draco grimaced and pushed her hands away. "I'm fine."

"Honey."

"What?"

Pansy nodded. "Honey, you should address me as honey, or sweetheart, or…" She paused, thinking. Hermione took a deep breath, swallowing the laughter that had come up as a look of pure horror crossed Malfoy's face.

"She's right. You are to address your partner as if you were in love."

Pansy smirked. "We are in love. There's no acting going on mudblood."

Hermione shook her head. "I believe you Pansy."

Draco couldn't say anything, he just watched as Hermione walked away, leaving him with the rabid woman—his soon-to-be wife. Draco shuddered.

"Are you cold Drakie? Come here." She pulled Draco to her. "Now isn't that better?"

Draco wanted to cry.


Ron sat across from Charlotte, who had not moved or blinked or even appeared to breath for the last ten minutes.

"Uh, it won't be that bad…or maybe it will be." Ron added quickly as Charlotte's eyes darkened.

Ron stopped looking at her. Instead he looked at the floor.

The ceiling.

His shoes.

The crack in the wall.

The floor again.

Above her head.

Her feet.

The corner.

Until his eyes settled on the one and only exit.

Charlotte shook her head and sighed. "I don't agree with any of this."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Ron let out a sigh of relief. "Entirely."

Taking a deep breath, Ron sat up. "I'm sorry you have this really crappy outlook on life and everything, but you aren't going to be taking it out on me. You think I'm thrilled that I was paired with you? Well think again. But guess what we're stuck with each other until this thing ends, so get off your high horse and come join us mortals here on the ground."

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Good, do you feel more like a man now?"

"You're impossible."

"Right on."

"Fine, I don't care that you're not going to remove that stick from your ass, but…Hermione?"

Charlotte turned to see Hermione standing in the doorway, an amused smirk on her face.

"You two getting along well I see."

"Then you must be blind." Charlotte stood. "So who's your lucky fellow."

Hermione shook her head, her eyes twinkling. "I don't have one."

Ron looked up. "What?"

"Well, I have basically been assigned the job of marriage counselor. Fun, don't you think?"

Ron leaned forward, rubbing his face with his hands.

"You don't have to do this?"

"That's right Charlotte, alls I have to do is advise and help you guys through this."

"Great." Ron muttered.

"What was that?"

Ron didn't look at Hermione instead he looked at Charlotte. "Now we've got another shrink to see darling."

"I'd say we're screwed."

Ron nodded.

Hermione grinned. "I completely agree.


Miriam sat at the table, Harry across from her. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Harry shook his head. "You made me sick to my stomach."

"I was only joking."

"You didn't look like you were joking."

Miriam rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on now. I still think it'd be good."

"I am not going to have a 'bay watch' themed wedding, are you insane?"

"I've been told so."

"Well they were telling the truth."

"Come on Harry, admit it would be funny."

Harry shook his head. "No, it would be completely disgusting."

"Just think red Speedo."

Harry turned green. "You're going to make me throw up."

Miriam shrugged, a huge grin on her face. "I wonder how Ron's doing. Charlotte isn't exactly Ms. Sunshine. I think even the rest of the Slytherins think she's the ultimate Ice Queen."

"She is different." Harry said carefully.

"Yes I am. And your idiot cousin is fine." Charlotte sat down across from Miriam and took Harry's untouched plate of food.

Ron sat next down next to Harry. "Verbal abuse, I'm going to tell our therapist that you're demeaning me."

Harry's eyebrow rose, as did Miriam's. "What are you talking about, Ron?"

"Harry, you know that person who I until a few minutes ago considered my friend?"

"Uh?"

Charlotte leaned back. "Let me give you a hint, we're related."

"Hermione?"

"That's right."

"I'm still confused."

Ron stabbed a potato. "She doesn't have to marry anybody, instead she is going to be our bloody marriage counselor. We not only have to be evaluated on a weekly basis by the psychiatrists we now have to have daily sessions with Hermione!"

Miriam smiled.

"Oh wait, it gets better." Charlotte leaned forward. "If this wasn't already bad enough, Hermione will also be the wedding planner, we go through her for everything and if we do not participate sufficiently she gets control over the entire wedding."

"Wow. But aren't you glad it's Hermione instead of, say, Ms. Danna?"

"Yeah, but it's not fair. I've got to marry this thing." Charlotte waved her hand in Ron's direction. "And she doesn't have to do anything but laugh at how badly this is going to turn out."

Harry shook his head, not able to suppress his smile. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that life isn't fair?"


"Oh shut up."

"So."

"So."

"Well."

"Well."

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

"No."

"Then…"

"Well, I don't know you, you don't know me, but we're getting married in a few days."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

"So."

"So."

"Well?"

"Never ending circle."

Ginny smiled. "Yeah."

"Well, okay…um, do we want to get to know each other?"

"Twenty questions."

"What?"

"Basically, just ask each other questions. It's not complicated."

"Okay." Blaise sat back. They'd met on common ground.

"Well, I guess I have to start."

"That would be a good idea."

"Okay, so…um, I guess…"

Blaise smiled. "Harder than you thought right?"

Ginny nodded. "Um, how about…what's your favorite flavor ice-cream?"

"That's easy. Vanilla."

"Vanilla?"

"I'm not complicated. I like simple things."

"Oh."

Blaise leaned forward. "My turn?"

"Go ahead."

"Okay, your favorite flavor of ice-cream?"

Ginny pondered a second. "I guess I'd have to say strawberry."

"Yuck."

"What's wrong with strawberry ice-cream?"

"It's just disgusting is all."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Have you ever had it before?"

Blaise didn't answer.

"See, you wouldn't know a good thing if it smacked you in the face, you'd be too busy denying it."

"Fine. We'll serve strawberry ice cream at our wedding reception and I'll have some. But until then I will maintain that it is disgusting."

Ginny grinned. "You know, you're really cool."

Blaise shrugged. "I know how to compromise. But, thank you."

"No problem."


Hermione sat back on the couch; a book perched on her knee, and lay there smiling. It was funny how things turned out—the different turns life took. Humming, she flipped through the book, noting different potions and spells and charms to help her manage the circus that was about to start.

She marked the pages she'd need later, wrote down the ingredients she'd have to get from Professor Snape, and fell asleep.

Draco managed to lose Pansy by taking a moving staircase, glad for once in his life that Pansy was who she was. She had sat at the gap and screamed for him to come back. She'd threatened, pleaded, cried, and attempted blackmail all before he could get out of hearing range.

Now he was going to go to his room, lock the door, and hope to god he didn't piss Hermione off enough that she would actually let Pansy in the common room.

The portrait swung shut behind him, Draco looked to Hermione's closed door. He wondered if he should apologize again for knocking her down.

"Nah."

Draco turned and saw Hermione asleep on the couch. He walked over, lightly shaking her until she woke.

When you wanted to get information from someone…Draco shook her harder.

"What?" Hermione asked, turning away from the person who woke her.

"Where'd you put it?"

"Put what?"

"The pendant."

Hermione shot up, fully awake. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No I don't."

"Why'd your cousin come this year?"

"Because she wanted to."

"No she didn't. She was sent."

Hermione shook her head. "You wake me up for this?" She yawned. "I'm going to bed." Draco grabbed her arm.

"Don't you start copying Pansy now."

"If you wouldn't be so hard headed, I wouldn't have to."

"Look who's talking Malfoy!"

"I—did you hear something?"

The knocking came again. "Don't open the door."

"You woke me up."

"I'm sorry."

Hermione stood by the portrait. "Too bad." The portrait swung open and Hermione hurried out of the visitor's line of sight.

And Pansy barreled in. "Drakie!"

Draco jumped, scrambling away. "I hate you!" He screamed at Hermione.

Hermione shrugged, yawned, and left. "Pansy 2, Malfoy 0." She was going to sleep well tonight.