Chapter 5
Troy's p.o.v
My mind is still racing from what Ryan just said to me. So here I am thinking that I should feel bad for using Ryan, and all along he was using me. I guess this is that feeling that all those girls tell me about when I don't call them back. But wait, I don't love Ryan. In fact right now, I hate him. I wish he was dead…No I don't. The truth is, I think I might actually have a thing for Ryan. But it wouldn't matter, he hates me. I thought that the whole studio incident was a step forward, a silent agreement that we could move forward. I was wrong, dead wrong. What was I thinking? I mean, I've seen the way Sharpay goes through guys, why should Ryan be any different? I lean against the wall as my group goes in their bunk for bed.
After their safe and sound, I make my way to our cabin. God, I'm such an idiot! And even as I was storming away from him, a large part of me wanted him to run after me, and tell me everything would be alright, and that the feelings I have are normal and that everything would work it's self out. But this is real life and instead of Ryan's warm body, I was comforted by the warm evening air. When I got to the cabin, my stomach did a back flip, because there sitting on the railing, was Nicole. Fuck, I notice that she's too busy looking at her nails to notice me, so I quickly turn around and head elsewhere, maybe back to the studio. The last person, I want to see right now is Nicole. She got me into these shit. I mean, I guess she figured I was a sucker for sad girls, because after I pushed her leg away and told her I had some one, well two someone's, she went on with this blab story of how she was just trying to make a new friend, and that she was loser and all this other b.s. So naturally, I told her everything would be alright and that I am her friend. So we took a walk and I ended up having to use the bathroom, needless to say, Nicole must have got the wrong messages, because before I could even unzip my pants she came rushing in. I told her that we agreed to be just friends; she shook her head and came towards me. I grabbed he arms and told her to stay the fuck away from me. I showed her to the door and there was Ryan.
So long story short, I hat Nicole right now. I finally make it to the studio and see that the door's lights on. Probably some counselors cleaning up, and since I don't feel social right now, I turn to leave. But I hear a crash. I wait to see if I hear anything else….nothing. Shit, someone could be hurt; I turn back and swing the door open. And there, lying on his back, covered in markers and paintbrushes, is Ryan. He doesn't hear me come in.
"Great, just fucking great" he says as he gets up.
I want to leave and let him clean this up himself, but something in me feels like that maybe we could talk and work things out.
"Need any help?" I ask
Ryan jumps and turns around. He sees me and turns back around.
"No, I got it" he says
I walk over to him and start picking up markers.
"No you don't, this is a lot." I say
"I'll manage" he says
"A little helps never hurt" I say
"If I needed help, I'd ask for it" he snaps back
"Well maybe you don't see that you need it" I say
He throws the markers down in frustration and storms away.
"Then you do it!" he says
I follow Ryan and grab his arm and pull him close to me. This time he doesn't struggle.
"Why are doing this?" I ask.
"Why are you? Do you honestly think that we could ever have something, Troy? Come on your not that dumb." He says. "I just think that we should quit while we're ahead. This is just going to lead to more problems"
"So that's why you said those things earlier. You're scared. You do have feelings for me, don't you?" I ask
"Of course I have feelings for you; I just don't know what those feelings are. And duh, I'm scared, I don't want to be hurt again, and I don't wanna fall for someone, who won't be there to catch me." He finishes
I lean in close, so that I can feel his breath on my lips.
"I will be there to catch you" I say. And that's when it hits me, I know this feeling, it's the same feeling, I get when I win a game, or pass a test. The same feeling I get on Christmas or my birthday, the feeling that Gabriella never gave me. I think maybe I do love Ryan, just a smidge. But how, we don't even know that much about each other.
"Look, it's not going to work. I can lose the feelings I have for you and pretend none of it's happened." He says
"No you can't" I say
"What makes you think that?" he asks
"Because you haven't pulled away." I say as I show him my hands, to reveal that I had let him go a long time ago, but he didn't move, not at all. It's a trick Chad taught me in 9th grade. Ryan looks down at his freed arms and laughs. He then looks back into my eyes. He reaches up and brushes the hair from my eyes.
"Promise me, you won't hurt me" He says
And for once I see the softer side of him, he does have a heart. I can literally see his guard fall.
"I promise" I say "but promise me that this is what you want and not a mistake." I say
He laughs and softly kisses me
"I promise" he says with a smile
"Alright then." I say and without hesitation, I lift him onto the nearest table and slowly begin sucking his neck, leaving little marks on his skin, marking my territory.
Hope u liked, I'm sorry I left you hanging, but don't worry there will be a sex scene later. Luv ya
