Chapter 7
Troy's p.o.v
I try to grasp on to this feeling as I put my pajamas on. Ryan's in the shower, but I'm not gonna take one. I want Ryan all over me, his scent, his taste, and his kisses. I don't ever wanna wash it away. So instead, I decided to just lay in the glow that Ryan left me in. I lay on my back and stare, once again, at the empty ceiling. I can't stop all the questions running through my head. Are me and Ryan an item now? I don't think so, because, Ryan made it pretty clear that he doesn't wanna "be" with me. But that was all before, tonight. I mean, I know he wants me, just not as much as I want him. The way he let's me handle him and when he grabbed my hand earlier, I'm pretty sure that he likes me. But what if I'm wrong? What if I put my feelings out there and then he crushes them? I'll admit, I've never been dumped, and I'm always the one who ended the relationship. But I now know how it must feel to be on the other end. You feel, like you wanna ask this person to marry you, but are afraid to do more than touch. God this is driving me insane! I can't think straight. As frustrating as this is, I lick my lips and remember Ryan's taste, and the anger seems to fade. Ryan is driving me insane and I love every minute of it.
Ryan finally comes out of the shower after what seems like an hour, he's fully dressed, seeing as how the cabin is full. The others came back about five minutes ago, killing all my hopes of getting one more make out session with Ryan. Ryan say's his goodnights and walks over to the bed and sits down. He pulls back his covers and gets settled before he looks at me. I look quickly look around and see lamps going off. I lean over just enough so that I'm next to Ryan, and I give him a soft kiss on the lips. He quickly sits up. Oh shit, here it comes.
But then he changes my mind with a smile. I smile back, even though I am utterly confused.
"Troy" he says with a low sigh "I think, that maybe, we're moving too fast" he whispers
"What!" I say loudly.
I'm answered by numerous 'shhhs'
"What?" I repeat in a whisper
"It's not that I don't like what he have, but…that's just it, what do we have? Besides the physical attraction? I mean what next? What happens when all that fades and all I have to offer is me?" He finishes
Wow, he's right. What do we have? Nothing? NO! We have something, I don't know what it is yet and I can't describe it, but I know it's there! He just doesn't see it. Yet. I'm not using him. I wanna know more about him, yes, but at the same time I feel like we've known each other for years. Wait, we have. I mean we have been living on the same block for our whole lives, but still, I never knew him. And now he's thinking of pulling away? No, I won't let him; I know it will be impossible to explain tonight, so I assure him with these simple words
"Ryan, I love you…and that means forever" I say
I expect him to run in my arms and kiss me and tell me he loves me too, but instead he looks lost. It takes him awhile but then he focuses back on me
"Troy, you don't love me." He says "you love what we do. For all you know you could feel the same thing from any other guy. Although I can guarantee, I'm the best there is. The point is, you don't know me. I could be just using you or I could be obsessed with you. You know almost nothing about me." He says and lays down on his stomach. He turns his head away from me and mumbles.
"Let's just take it slow"
Take it slow? Fuck that! I'll show him how much he means to me. I'll show him how much he means to me, and I'll do it in a way he can't resist.
Ryan's p.o.v
As I'm racing to put on my clothes, I can't stop thinking about why Troy didn't wake me up. Why did he let me sleep in for an hour and how come none of the other counselors woke me up? Is this some immature way to get back at me for something? Maybe last night, he did seem to be thinking hard, which is rare in his case. I don't have time to think about it, I got to get to the art studio, knowing Troy, the kids have probably set the place on fire and he hasn't noticed. I throw on a shirt from an open drawer and slide my flip flops on. I race out the door and run through the grass, pushing children out of my way. And all of a sudden I smell troy. I smell his scent. The studio is too far away to smell anything. Am I imaging all of this? Oh my god, is Troy just constantly in my mind? Isn't that a sign of love, always seeing or hearing your lover where ever you turn? Was troy right? Are we really meant to live happily ever after? That's when it hits me. I grabbed one of Troy's shirts by mistake. I burst into a laughing fit, which makes me look crazy. A boy running as fast as he can while laughing so hard, that he's turning red. But I don't have time to think about what everyone else sees me as.
I finally make it to the studio and swing the door open. At first I think I'm at the wrong place. Because these are not my group of kids. These kids look like my kids, but there sitting down and actually waiting for instructions or something. I know something's up when Caleb, Satan himself, flashes me this tooth achingly sweet smile. I'm about to ask where troy is, but his hands come from behind me and he whispers in my ear
"Guess who?"
What was he up too? I hear him tell the kids to go to there places. I hear the kids giggle and paper rustle. After about five minutes, troy move his hands away to show me what he's done. My heart sinks. Because right in front of me is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. There ,in front of my were all my kids holding four huge pink poster boards with red letters on them that spelled out…I LOVE YOU RYAN. I try not to, but I can't help it, I throw my hand over my mouth and gasp. But then I come back to earth…he still doesn't get it. I turn to troy.
"Troy, this is sweet but…"
He puts his finger over my lips.
"Wait" he turns around and pulls another poster board out, it's written on in what I guess is his hand writing. He gives it to me and I read it.
I LOVE: your hair, your smile, your body, your voice, the way you dance, the clothes you where, your eyes, your lips and so much more
I KNOW YOU: hate sushi, hate being a twin, secretly love the color 'olive, have a dog named Paris, hate your eye color, can fight but choose not to, had your first kiss with a girl (Taylor) and then your second with her brother, your toes curl when you "get to that point", you have a birth mark on your inner thigh, you want a tattoo of betty boop, and are afraid of commitment
The rest is blank spaces with the words….let's fill in the blanks together.
I almost cry, but I hold back the tears. Suddenly the big bell rings and class is over. I wait for the last kid to leave, and then I fling my arms around troy and kiss him, harder then I've ever kissed him before. He wraps his arms around me and returns the kiss. I pull at his shirt, but he gently pushes my arms down. He pulls away and looks me in the eyes
"Slow, remember? I respect you, so we wait until all those blanks are filled in and then we decide what to do next." He says
I smile and he goes back to kissing me. I know what to do next. I pull away and look troy in the eyes.
"I love you Troy" I say
Troy's eyes light up and he smiles. He grabs the back of my head and bring my open mouth to his. He then leans me against the desk and runs his hand up my shirt. So much for taking it slow.
Well, that chappie took a lot out of me, not really. I hoped you guys liked it. It's not over not yet. Review, because I think I did a lousy job on this one. Did I ?
Luv ya
