Chapter 4
Ryoma didn't know what to say. He was never really good at talking to people who had disappeared from his life all so suddenly and come back again, expecting him to be all welcoming and stuff.
Eiji had done that- just plain left them in the middle of his third year and went off to America. No one knew he was leaving, no one. Not even Oishi.
Which was precisely why everyone was shocked when Ryuuzaki sensei told them the news.
-flashback-
"...Eiji's gone to America."
Momoshiro was stunned. And Oishi had that look.
Not just any look. It was a cross between worry and beweilderment, and where his forehead would crease and he would unconsciously dig his teeth into his bottom lip until they bled.
Tezuka maintained his stoic look. The regulars didn't know what to think.
Ryoma was annoyed. No, he was more than annoyed. Eiji-senpai had just left them. No goodbye, no warning...
And he was supposed to deal with that?
He slammed a tennis ball into the wired green fence of the tennis court. It'd made a huge dent, and he was probably gonna get scolded for that. That green fence had just been replaced about a week ago.
Ryoma didn't care. He was wondering about other things... like how practice was going to continue, how they'd never make it to the nationals without Eiji...
And he wondered if he was ever going to see Eiji again...
But then, it'd started to rain.
-end flashback-
Ryoma watched as Eiji picked up the little girl and carried her in his arms. He took a seat next to Ryoma, rocking the little girl back and forth in his embrace. She had fallen asleep and her heavy panting had slowed down to a soft mummur. She looked so fragile, Ryoma thought. He was slightly afraid to touch her for fear she might just crumble to pieces.
"Sachi... that's her name..."
"Oh."
Ryoma was curious.
"She yours?"
Eiji let out a small chuckle. "Course she's mine. She looks like me, doesn't she?" He paused to ruffle a few strands of hair from her face. "She's almost five now, if I'm not wrong."
Five years old. That got Ryoma thinking. Twenty-three minus five...
Eighteen. That's how old Eiji was when he became a father.
"I know what you're thinking, Echizen. Eiji, a father at eighteen?" Eiji went on. "It... it just sort of happened, you know? I never thought that she'd-"
He stopped then and closed his eyes ruefully. Ryoma felt awfully uncomfortable. He wasn't ever good at discussing things like this. He took a good look at Eiji for a few seconds, sizing him up. He looked... old, Ryoma thought. He tried to think of other words... but his vocabulary seemed to disappear when he tried to describe Eiji. But there was really no other word for him. He'd grown old.
Ryoma wondered what happened to those bright, blue eyes of his. They seemed to have lost their shine years ago, dulling to a pale, watery blue. Ryoma frowned. Life was so unpredictible. He'd remembered the conversation he, Momo, and Eiji had in a burger place years ago. They'd been talking about their future. Momo said he'd wanted to become a pilot, and Eiji said he'd wanted to become a vet.
Ryoma recalled that incident with much fondness. Never in that short twenty minutes of his life would he expect Eiji to turn out like that- looking ten years older than he should and having the burden of raising a child. In fact, he was almost sure Eiji hadn't finished college yet.
What would his future be like? Ryoma wasn't sure. Would he get married? Kids? Would he even finish college with that diploma he'd wanted so badly?
Ryoma bit his lip. He didn't like to be unsure of things.
"What are you thinking about, Echizen?"
He looked up at Eiji's kind, yet unsmiling eyes and for some reason, he was comforted. "I was thinking about myfuture." He muttered. He glanced down at his hands and realised they were shaking slightly.
Eiji brushed away the curls out of his daughter's closed eyes and chuckled. "You've got a bright future ahead of you, Ryoma. You shouldn't have to worry."
"Life is so unpredictible..." Ryoma wondered aloud and Eiji nodded quietly.
"Life may be unpredictible and unfair, but you know something? Life is a funny thing... It gives us surprises out of the most unexpected things."
"Like Sacchi?"
Eiji closed his eyes and smiled. "Yeah, like Sacchi. When I heard that I was a father... I thought my world was gone. I wanted to run away, but it wasn't the right thing to do. I thought of my sisters, and what I'd want their boyfriends to do if they ever did get pregnant, and I realised that there was no escaping this. So I married her. But it was worth it, though."
"Did you... did you love her?"
"I cared for her, Echizen. I cared a whole lot about her. I don't think I've learnt to love her yet, but I'm hoping someday I will." He shifted his position and cleared his throat. "The point is, Echizen, that you should never let go the things which are important to you. Treasure everything. I've learnt not to take things for granted, and maybe someday, you will too."
Ryoma looked thoughtful. Treasure everything?
He thought about Sakuno, about how he'd made her hurt when they were younger, the way he'd always brush her off because he didn't like her. And he thought about how he'd felt when she collasped on him that night- panic, anger. Fear.
He'd been afraid of losing her, been afraid of not being able to tell her how he felt about her. It was those thirty seconds of his life that made him realise something- that he was in love with her.
It didn't come as a shock to him, but rather, a strange warmness in his chest. He wasn't sure if he like it, but he sure willing to take the chance.
Treasure everything.
He thought about the way she would blush when he was near, the way her hair was always too long, the way her tennis always sucked.
And he thought about her for a moment, and everything seemed to stop.
He loved her, and that was that. But maybe it wasn't all, he mused. He wanted to tell her.
He would tell her everything, everything she wanted to know, everything his heart desired for her to know.
Footsteps interrupted his train of thought and he looked up at the doctor. He jumped to his feet.
"Doctor, how is she?"
The doctor smiled, "She just fainted from a little too much pressure, nothing to worry about though. She's up already... you can go in and see your wife."
My... wife?
He was about to correct the doctor, but he was too busy thinking about how that would sound. Sakuno, his wife?
He walked into the hospital room with his hands shoved into his pockets. And when she turned to look at him, his mouth suddenly went dry. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? He smiled weakly at her and managed a lame, "Hi."
She smiled. "Hey."
He sat down on a chair next to her bed and felt his heart skip a beat. So, this was what it was like to fall in love, he thought to himself.
He still didn't know what to say, and his palms were starting to water. And when he stared into her eyes, he could feel his skin heat up. It was then he froze on the spot, and his mouth seemed to be incapable of forming words. Or at least, comprehendable words.
His mind was a total blur- words were spinning around but none made sense to him. He wanted to say something, anything to her... but he couldn't. Now he truly understood the meaning of being at a loss for words- this.
His fingers trembled, for what, he wasn't sure, but he was sure that he was going to go balistic if he didn't do something.
Sakuno's brown eyes darted across his face worriedly. "Ryoma... are you... okay?"
He nodded, still unable to open his mouth.
She smiled at him lightly. "Oh, good. Anyway, thanks for bringing me here and waiting. I'm sorry I wasted your time and-"
"Don't."
She looked at him, bewildered. "Huh?"
He looked at her silently. "Don't say that."
She was still unsure of what he meant. "Why?"
He avoided her eyes. "Nothing."
She was angered by this simple statement, but she didn't know why. "Ryoma, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you always have to be like this? I don't know what I ever did to aggravate you, but whatever it is, you are so unfair."
"Let's go home."
"No. I am not going anywhere unless you tell me why you're so annoyed with me all the time." She said firmly, arms crossed over her chest.
He raised an eyebrow and accepted the challenge. Within minutes, he had her sprawled over his left shoulder, screaming and kicking him. He carried her out of the hospital and to his car. There he'd put her down, ignoring strange stares from the people in the car park.
She landed rather ungracefully on her bottom in the back seat as soon as he'd let go of her struggling form. Indignant, she was about to let him have a peice of her mind when she left his lips touch hers softly, passionately, that any thoughts she had earlier vanished to the very back of her mind.
"I think I've finally found a way to shut you up..." Ryoma muttered, his eyes alit with mischief.
Sakuno punched him in the arm. "You're an idiot. I'm getting out of this car."
She shoved him out and got out herself, walking back toward the hospital. She didn't get too far, because Ryoma had grabbed her and pinned her against his car.
"You're not going anywhere, lady."
"Oh?" She asked in amusement. "Who's gonna stop me?"
He leaned in, his lips hovering over hers as he uttered, "I am." His hot breath warmed her face and neck and she found herself shaking slightly.
"Ryoma... we can't..." She started to push him away, but he still kept her against the car.
"Why not, Sakuno?"
He was so close, so painfully close. "I... I have a boyfriend, Ryoma."
A slight shift in his warm, gold eyes told her that he didn't believe it.
"What's his name?"
She couldn't think, her brain was malfunctioning. God, he was making her uncomfortable. After a moment of silence, she realised he'd be waiting for an answer. She racked her brain for something, anything, and she said the first name that came to her mind. "Kenshi."
Ryoma was startled, but he didn't let it show. "Kenshi's a lucky guy." He muttered. Suddenly, he wondered. "Do you love him?"
Sakuno nodded almost too quickly. "Of course."
"How are you so sure?"
Trick question, she thought. "Because I get this warm feeling when I'm around him... and it's all there- the sweaty palms, racing heart."
She prayed silently that he would believe her and just let her go, and maybe they could just finish up their project. But still, he persisted. "How do I make you feel?"
He was still so awfully close, she thought. She could feel his breath on her neck, soft and oddly sensual. Ever so slowly she watched him lean down onto her and she felt the butterflies in her stomach leap and twirl. This is so unreal, she said to herself, this is so unreal.
Her heart pounded heavily in her chest, and she was surprised he couldn't feel it. And all she could do was stare mindlessly at him as he continued to edge himself closer to her.
She wanted this, every part of this moment. And as he closed the gap between them, sealing his lips against her own, she felt a flame inside her reignite. And then she knew that she'd been wrong. Oh, so wrong about everything. About love. But now she knew.
She'd never said I love you to anyone before, but she was saying it now. She felt so helpless in his arms, yet so strong at the same time. He made her feel things she never thought possible, and for a few moments, doubt hung heavy in the air.
Did he love her? What about college? What if... what if... so many 'what if's.
Sakuno didn't know what to think. But she was sure of one thing- she loved him. And she knew that even though the road ahead may be paved with much uncertainty, she was willing to take a risk. And that everything would be worth all her past hurts and fears.
She held him back at a distance and stared into his face- those smouldering gold eyes, hair that fell in tufts over them, and his soft, warm lips...
And Sakuno decided. She decided that he was worth everything.
end
A/N:
To my dear, lovely readers:
This is not the end. I shall continue on to write an epliogue when I have a good hair day. P
Thanks to all who read my stories and review. I love you all.
And more thanks to Kim and Eve who've managed to stand my crappiness. Go read their stories... they're much better writers than I am.
Oh yes, I am rewriting this whole thing because Kim says it sucks. Haha. No, I meant she said that it was a little to vague. I'll have to agree. Please tell me what you think and everything- if there's too much romance or too little, whether you think I suck or whatever. Hm. Yup. I think that's it.
I love you all,
dwi-san
