I'm not too impressed with this chapter, but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. I tried to explain any OOC-ness. Anyways, read on, and please do review!
Mark and Maureen walked out of the hospital that afternoon after being told that Maureen was fine, aside from being depressed, and stressed over the death of Joanne, and also the fact that she hadn't eaten in almost a week.
"I'm taking you out for dinner," said Mark as they walked through the crowded city streets.
Maureen had not said a word since the cemetery, and she was still giving him the silent treatment.
"Okay," he thought it over for a moment, "I can't take you out for dinner, seeing as I don't have more than ten dollars on me, but we can grab a slice of pizza.
They ate their pizza in silence as Mark stared at Maureen. He finally spoke up, trying to get her to say something to him.
"Maureen, where were you last week?"
She looked up at him with her sad brown eyes sparkling in the dimly lit pizzeria. She put her pizza down and brushed the powder from the pizza off of her hands, then quickly swallowed. "I just needed to get away for a while."
"That's not what I asked," he said sternly but still managing to be gentile.
She gulped and hung her head down into her lap. Mark saw her body shake slightly as she took a deep breath which he knew was a sob.
"Look," she said through tears, "I took a train back to Long Island, to see my family…"
"Go on…" he said, his hand lightly grazing over hers.
"I didn't even-" her voice broke and tears began to stream down her cheeks.
"What Maureen? What is it? You can tell me!" He took both of her hands in his to console her.
"I didn't even get into my house," she finished.
He was confused. "What do you mean you didn't get into your house?"
"They didn't let me in," she squeaked, and then she completely dissolved into tears. "My - my mother said that as long as I'm a lesbian, I have no right to walk back into that house."
Mark was speechless. He just stared at her. He couldn't believe that a parent could be so cruel to their child, especially when that child was in need. He was pulled out of his thoughts as Maureen continued.
"And, of course I had nowhere to stay, since I couldn't go back to Joanne and my apartment, so I kind of wandered from hotel to hotel."
"Oh my God, why didn't you call me? You could have stayed with me!"
"I told you, I needed to get away," she said wiping at her eyes, "listen, Mark, can we go? People are starting to stare, and it's making me uncomfortable."
He found it hard to believe that people staring at her made her uncomfortable especially since she spent the last year and a half being a lesbian, but he none-the-less picked up his pizza and motioned for her take hers too as they walked out of the pizzeria.
They finished their pizza as they walked through the streets heading back to his apartment. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?" he asked as they neared his block.
"Would you mind?" she said in a voice almost unrecognizable as Maureen Johnson.
"Of course not," he said smiling as he took her hand leading her up the steps to his loft.
As he opened the door, Maureen looked around uncomfortably. He didn't know what was going on in her head, but he wouldn't pry anymore. He knew it upset her when he did and besides, it was rude.
"You know something," she said. It sounded almost like she was about to tell him her troubles without him badgering her first, "I hadn't cried at all since last week up until just before."
"I figured as much," he said putting a comforting hand on her arm, "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Maureen."
"I'm not sure if I want to," she said quietly, "but maybe I should."
He nodded in agreement. "You know what? I'll make some tea okay? And you could tell me everything you need to say then all right?"
She nodded looking down at her hands.
Mark went into the kitchen area and filled a teapot with some water and put it on the stove. He sat in a chair, thinking about life, and why it was so cruel. Why did all of his friends have HIV? Why did a truck overturn and, of all the cars in the city, have to crush Joanne's car? All of a sudden, he heard a loud whistling sound. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he jumped out of his seat and nearly knocked the chair over. He laughed at himself, turned off the stove and poured out two cups of the boiling water. He added the tea bags and the proper amount of milk and sugar. He remembered exactly how Maureen liked her tea. He brought out their teas and joined her on the couch as she thanked him for the tea and sipped quietly. After a few sips, she set her mug down on the coffee table.
"Mark, I'm really sorry for the way I snapped at you this morning. I was just in a really foul mood, so many different emotions have been piling up, and especially this whole thing with my parents now, and I'm also getting my period."
Mark raised an eyebrow. "Didn't need to know that last part."
"Right," she said quickly, "but seriously, I've been scaring myself lately Mark."
She caught his attention. He set his mug down next to hers and turned so their eyes met. He saw tears welling up in her chocolate eyes again, and he looked at her questioningly.
"For a few days," she whispered quietly, "I almost wanted to kill myself."
"Maureen…" he said awed, "please don't think like that. It doesn't make things better. You remember what it was like after April-"
"Yes, I know," she said, "and I think that's what stopped me." She thought for a moment. "You were also what stopped me."
"How's that?" he asked.
"Because, the way you held me that night when Joanne died, I think that even though I loved Joanne very much, I think I still love you too."
He looked at her, speechless.
"Well," he could tell she immediately regretted what she'd said, "that was part of the reason why I was shoving you away this morning, because I wanted that to go away, but the truth is, it didn't go away, even though I procrastinated my coming back here from Long Island, it didn't go away."
"Maureen," Mark said sweetly, "I don't know if these are true feelings, or if you really do love me, but I think we should wait to start any kind of relationship. I mean, obviously, I still love you. I always have loved you Maureen, but I don't want either of us to end up getting hurt. We still need time Mo."
"I know," she said, the tears spilling again. She gave a short quick sob and closed her eyes, "I just miss her so much."
Mark wrapped her in his arms as she cried the same way she had cried the other night. She clung to his body like a scared child, wrapping her arms around his neck.
The next few months went by rather smoothly. Maureen had in fact inherited quite a sum of money which Joanne left for her. She had also sold the apartment. She couldn't live there anymore, the pain was too much. Mark welcomed her with open arms as she moved in with him, as roommates. Even though Roger and Mimi teased him all the time about it, he denied that anything was going on between the two of them. Which, nothing was going on. So he had nothing to worry about. Right?
After the first month, Maureen had eventually been able to stop crying at the mention of the name Joanne. She was slowly moving on and allowing death to become a part of her life.
Mark was very proud of her. She had come a long way from the nights she'd spend in his arms bawling over Joanne. A few times he'd seen Maureen staring at him with a lustful, glance, but not at all like her former self, more like a need for dependency on him. Maureen had really changed.
One particular night, about five months after Joanne's death, Mark was cooking dinner for him and Maureen when she came up behind him startling him. "Jesus!"
"No, sorry you've mixed me up with someone else," she said with a smile.
"Very funny," he said slightly pissed off, "you almost made me feed dinner to the floor."
"Mark," she said suddenly extremely serious, "I need to talk to you."
He turned around quickly placing his hands on her arms expecting something to be wrong. She was after all, still fragile. "What Mo, what is it?"
"It's…" she started, but realized she wouldn't be able to finish, "It's nothing." She smiled at him. I don't have to say it now, it could wait.
"Are you sure?" he asked concerned.
"Well, if you don't want dinner to burn," she said, her eyes shifting to the stove.
"SHIT!" he screamed as he turned off the gas and picked up the pan off of the stove.
During dinner, Maureen brought up her need to talk to him again.
"Mark, listen," he looked at her concerned, and relieved, finally able to find out what's going on, "I know, I told you this many months ago, and you told me to wait it out, and I did. And, I have to say, that I still feel the same way. I've held this in for many months, and I still have this incredible desire to be with you again. I mean, I'm glad that we waited, it would have totally been disrespectful to Joanne, but I just think that, well, I mean-"
She was cut off by his mouth landing on top of hers. It was a quick kiss, but a good one at that.
"You're rambling Maureen," he smiled, "it's not like you."
"I've changed," she said matter-of-factly. And she was right. She had changed very much over the last five months, but Mark thought that maybe even it was a good change. She had at least learned to control lustful emotions. Five months of keeping that in had to be a lot for Maureen, although she didn't seem to have too much trouble containing herself, maybe it was a permanent lifestyle change.
"Maureen, I still love you. I have always loved you, even after you broke up with me. I may have tried to deny it at times, but Collins always kindly reminded me," he said with a sarcastic smile.
"Collins does that a lot doesn't he?" she said smiling. In a second, her lips were on his again. The table was in the way, so Mark put his hands on her waist urging her to get up as he did. He kept his hands on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Slowly his hands traveled up and down her sides coming nearer and nearer to her breasts. He backed her into a wall and pressed her against it as he ran his hands up and down her abdomen. She slid her hands from his neck, to his chest, to his stomach, up to the lining of his pants. She slipped her hand inside to feel around causing him to groan from the back of his throat. By now, he had both of his hands in her shirt, exploring and investigating. He felt himself harden in Maureen's hands as he broke the kiss to throw his head back. He pushed Maureen into the wall again, accidentally shutting off the light. This happened to be a good thing.
He couldn't take it anymore. He longed to be one with Maureen again. He felt his way to the fly of her jeans and quickly unzipped. He was about to do his own, when he'd found that she'd already done it for him. He smirked at her.
"You were always one step ahead of the game weren't you?" She smiled and took his lips in a fast wet kiss. Even though they were still standing, he lifted her off of her feet as she wrapped her legs around his lower back and he entered into her. They both gasped, excited at this revival of a feeling they hadn't felt for over three years now. Maureen's back was leaning against the wall, as her hands remained on his back. He began to kiss her neck as she began to buck her hips causing them both to begin breathing heavier. "Oh Marky…" she breathed hotly into his ear as they both enjoyed the feeling of one another. As hot as her breath was, it made him shiver. He took her mouth with his again as they kept their rhythm going. He kissed her neck as she groaned into his ear, turning him on even more, if possible. She spread her hands over his head as ecstasy began to build. His kisses on her neck caused her to throw her head back against the wall and call his name out once again. He moved his hands to her breasts making her moan again. He knew she loved it when he did that. He plunged deeper into her hungry for more. In a matter of seconds, Maureen screamed an animal howl of pleasure sending Mark to join her over the edge.
"Unnghhh," he grunted as they finished. He held onto her tightly as they slid to the floor, lazily kissing and running their fingers through each other's hair. "I – have always – loved you," he panted into her ear. He was laying on top of her now, and she brought up a hand to touch the side of his face. He thought she looked more beautiful than ever with her hair all askew and her eyes slightly crossed from focusing on his face which was far too close.
"I will always love Joanne, but I love you so much, and I really have Joanne to thank for that, because she has changed me as a person, and I don't think I ever realized everything you have ever done for me. I never appreciated the little things that took so much out of you. Oh my God!" she had a sudden realization, and burst into tears, "I was a terrible person wasn't I?"
"No! Of course not!" He said quickly wiping her tears. "But you definitely have changed. Maybe you just matured, you know? Now you act more responsible."
She sniffled. "I guess." She held onto him tight. "I'm so glad I have you Mark. Everything you've done for me, I don't think I could thank you enough. And I finally realize that I owe you so many thank-you's and apologies-"
"Shh." He cut her off. She looked at him quizzically as he fixed his trousers and helped her up off the floor. "We don't have to talk about this now. Let's just enjoy the moments we have. Come on." He grabbed her hand and led her to his bed. They undressed quietly and slipped under the covers. He pressed his chest into her back as he brought his arms through hers to wrap around her torso.
"This just feels so right," she whispered.
"Good," he said kissing the back of her neck through her hair, "Goodnight love."
She giggled for a moment, "Goodnight pookie."
His eyes widened for a moment remembering the disaster behind that nickname, but he relaxed. Maureen was a changed woman. He held her tighter as they drifted off to sleep.
