Star Wars was owned by Lucas Ltd. I am not making fun of Star Wars fans since I'm a fan myself. The song 'This is Your Life' is owned by Switchfoot and not used with their permission.

It's a Puppet's Life

Part Five

By Marie Nomad

Buffy checked her costume as she prepared for the next mission. Her wig itched and she double checked her weapons. Ever since Darth Vader's surprise attacks on the Pryces, Slaywarts had been on full alert. Both the Council and the school had been working on finding out more about the Darth Vader demon with no luck. Demons who had actually met Darth said that he was a cold creature who tends to blab about how he will kill them if they don't leave him alone. Any human preferred to just stay away.

Now, they finally got a lead that seemed possible. The tome that Darth stole had a spell for locating a certain object. The bad news was that they don't have the spell. The good news was that they know what the object was that Darth was looking for and where it was. At least, the general location but that was better than nothing. They had to get it soon and they had to prepare to go that place deep undercover. The plan was that she, Angel, Spike, Emma, and Gunn will go there. They don't want to attract too much attention or let innocent people get hurt. So, they kept it to the minimum just to be on the safe side. The last thing they wanted was to attract attention. Right now, they are at the Las Vegas headquarters where they are getting ready.

"Why do you have to be Han Solo?!" Spike screamed as he and Angel walked in wearing matching Han Solo outfits.

"Because I'm a better Han Solo than you!" Angel yelled back.

"You're a puppet! You're more Yoda than Han Solo!"

"And have you ever met a blond Han Solo?"

Buffy looked at the two. Together on the battlefield, they are a force to be reckoned, however, if the world wasn't in danger then they bicker like an old married couple combined with a pair of brothers. "Why don't you both be Han Solo?"

"It's not the same." The two said at once.

Buffy felt her hair that had been put in a pair of buns. While Spike and Fred are a couple, no doubt Spike still wanted to be Han just to match her 'Leia'. "Okay, you two. We'll settle this in coin toss." The woman got out a quarter, flipped it, and then after it landed she said, "Call it."

"Heads." Angel said.

"Tails."

Buffy lifted her hand and showed the two the quarter. "Heads, Angel gets to be Han Solo."

"Yes!" Angel said and started doing some kind of victory jig. Buffy had to giggle at the sight. The puppet was getting better at controlling himself but he was still overexcited at times.

"Buggers! Now, I have to get something else." Spike pouted as he marched off.

"Thanks." Angel said as he nodded and looked up at Buffy. "You know, you make a lovely Leia." He complimented and then walked off.

Buffy blushed slightly at the compliment. "Okay."

"I'm ready. White is not exactly my color but…" Emma said as she came in dressed up identically to Buffy. The two stared at each other. "Ah, bloody hell."

"Hey, girls." Gunn said as he came in dressed up as Han Solo.

"We are going to be in trouble."

XXX

After everyone got their costumes straightened out, they stood at the door. Emma was dressed up in black as an evil Jedi Master. Gunn was Mace Windu. Spike was now dressed up as Luke Skywalker. Belthezar, of course, dressed up as Darth Maul. In front of them were wall to wall booths of strange looking objects and people. Angel nearly toppled back at the sight. "Did we just land in some alternate dimension we didn't know about?"

"I wish." Gunn muttered, "That would be a lot less scary."

"Maybe we should have Andrew join us. He was a major Star Wars fan." Spike said as he walked with the group. He paused. "Did I just suggest that?"

"Well, he would be too distracted by this." Buffy said as she gestured at the costumed people. "Emma?"

Emma took a deep breath as she held up a picture of a ring. "Okay, this is the ring that we're looking for. It was made to negate magic effects but it never worked since it needed something impossible to get. That was what the Tome was about."

"Okay, try to find the ring, get it from whoever has it, and don't attract any attention." Angel urged. The group stared at him.

"And this is coming from Puppet Han." Spike chuckled.

"You know what I mean!" Angel yelled. "And keep an eye out for Darth Vader."

At once, a group of Darth Vaders passed them and Buffy added, "Any Darth Vader that looks suspicious."

XXX

Buffy walked around looking at the various booths with Angel in her arms. There was no way that he could walk around by himself without attracting attention. He wanted to come since he had met Darth Vader face to face and had a good idea on what kind of man he was. Although, she was sure that he wanted to spend some quality time with her. She didn't mind it at all. It was comforting for her to have Angel so close and he felt so soft. A part of her wanted to take him home with her and snuggle him to sleep. Of course, she could never do that to him.

Angel gazed around while looking limp. It wasn't that hard for him since he can see all around without moving his eyes. He enjoyed being in Buffy's arms, she was so strong and protective. If he had to be carried around by anyone, he wanted Buffy. Forget sex, a little snuggling was what he wanted. But, he couldn't ask her that. It's just too awkward.

"Hello, Miss." A familiar looking geek came up dressed up as Han Solo. "I love that doll of yours. Where did you find him?" Angel stared in shock. It was one of his old friends David Nabitt.

"Ebay." Buffy answered.

David put his hand on the doll's head. "He looks so familiar… the real Han Solo's hair wasn't as… poofy. Just a quick trim should do it." He reached into his bag and got out a pair of scissors.

"Hey!" Angel turned his head. "Don't touch the hair!"

David's jaw dropped. "A real talking Han Solo! Amazing device, he sounds just like this private investigator I once hired."

"Angel?" Buffy guessed as she put her hand over the puppet's mouth.

"Yes! In fact…" The man stared at the puppet some more. "Oh my god. Don't tell me."

Angel pulled Buffy's hand off and whispered, "I'm a puppet, long story, and just pretend you didn't see anything."

"Uhhh… right. Is this contagious or is it some form of puppet cancer?" David asked as he tried not to look stunned.

"No!"

"How do you know each other?" Buffy whispered as the three went to the side.

"He was a client of mine three or four years ago. Blackmail." Angel answered.

"Yes, it's been forever since I saw you. How did you become CEO of Wolfram and Hart?" David asked interested, "I read the business papers."

"It's… complicated." Angel replied as he waved his hand. His eyes lit up as he reached into his pocket and handed David a piece of paper. "Have you seen this ring? We're on a mission to find it."

"Ah, like Frodo and his band of heroes." David said as he nodded.

Buffy paused and said, "You remind me of a friend of mine. Anyway, if you find anything like this, let us know. Oh, and be on a look out for a suspicious looking Darth Vader. You know, any Darth Vader that looks too good and is a klutz."

"All right. Good luck on your mission." David said as he smiled at them and then rushed off to find the ring.

The two stared at the retreating figure. "That was… interesting." Angel commented as Buffy walked back out to the main area.

"Tell me about it. He is a good guy right?"

"He was a geek but he's decent and he had known a bit about the dark side of LA. Except for him going to a demon brothel like twelve times, he hasn't done anything wrong." Angel said.

"Demon brothel? Okay, now that was just wrong." Buffy said as she shook her head. Then, she saw Emma and Belthezar coming towards them. "Any luck?"

Emma sighed as she crossed her arms. "Nothing. Most of these people are wearing gloves. I will get a shot at Darth Vader's head right?"

"He's dangerous." Angel warned, "We don't even know what he really is."

"He burned down my home. I will not forgive that thing for that." Emma turned around, "I will go and search again. Come on, Belthezar."

The demon nodded and walked off with her. Buffy glared at her. "Thank you, Emma Frost." Emma had adopted the nickname since she couldn't use her vampire name. Buffy and her fellow slayers were used to Spike and even Angel but she didn't want to be around someone who actually embraced the vampire lifestyle. Despite the fact that While Emma had been at the school for two weeks, Buffy had never seen her under the sun or even in direct sunlight inside. That made her felt a little on edge and had her checked for a reflection every time she came back after a long night.

"Guys!" Gunn yelled as he and Spike ran up with Emma in tow. "We found the ring! It was right in front of us!"

"Can we get it?" Buffy asked interested as Gunn pulled at her sleeve.

"Yeah, well, we would have to win it." Spike replied as he pointed to a booth.

There was a bright sign with the usual Star Wars characters with the picture of a ring. "Talent show?" Buffy read as she sensed where it was going. "Oh no. Don't tell me that we have to…"

"Yup, we gotta win that ring." Gunn said, "All we have to do is enter individually and win that ring. I can pull off some cool Jedi moves."

Spike offered, "I can write up a good Star Wars poem."

"Can I fight with you?" Belthezar asked Gunn. "I had trained with humans before."

"Sure."

Emma pondered. "Maybe, I can sing some Marilyn Manson songs or do some entertainment when I was running my bar. Although, I don't think that they allow active bleeding there."

Buffy looked down as she clenched her fist. "Great, what can I do? I'm not going to do some fighting."

"Sing?" Spike asked, "You have a good singing voice when we were forced to sing and dance by that demon."

"Oh no, that was part of a spell. Any other time, I can't carry a tune." Buffy confessed.

"You can do a sexy slayer dance." Spike suggested. Angel reached into his pocket and tossed a cross at him. The vampire caught it and it sizzled. "Nice try, Pinocchio." He taunted as he put the cross down.

"No! I don't want to do anything that is related to slaying for a talent contest!"

"Well, if you have a dummy, we can have a ventriloquist act." Spike said as he and the others looked at Angel expectantly.

The puppet could see it in their minds. "No, I'm not doing it. It's not right." Angel argued.

"Come on, it's for a good cause." Emma urged, "You just have to be you."

"Yeah, what ever happens to whatever it takes?" Gunn asked as the four looked down at the puppet.

"I'm trying not to do anything too bad. I am in the middle of my transformation."

"Whoa, I am not using Angel as a puppet!" Buffy argued. "You can't make me!"

XXX

Buffy sighed as she sat on a stool with Angel on her knee. "Why did they talk me into it?" She wondered.

"I don't know but we have to do whatever it takes to win." Angel said as he shrugged. He had done unethical stuff before to win but that was before he started his shanshu.

"Does this hurt?" Buffy asked concerned. She never noticed that Angel had puppet hole of his own but it made sense since he was turned into a puppet. Not once in her life did she ever think that she would have her hand in Angel that far.

"Not really." The puppet replied, "It feels kinda natural but really… strange. Don't worry; all I have in me is stuff and fluff. You don't feel anything right?"

"No, not at all, just like having my hand in a puppet which is really what it was." Buffy said as she blushed, "This is not awkward."

"Yeah. This is business."

"Exactly."

"That is so convincing." The two looked to see a tall somewhat good looking guy wearing a senator's robes. He had black hair and green eyes. Buffy studied him carefully. His pose was slightly withdrawn but not like Darth Vader. In fact, he looked gay. "Hi, I'm Kevin and I see you're interested in the talent show."

"Yeah, I'm Buffy and this is… Han Solo." Buffy said sweetly, "Are you going to be part of the show too?"

"Oh yeah, I'm a singer." Kevin studied the puppet. "Your… dummy looks good. Where did you get him?"

"Ebay."

Kevin nodded. "I see. Well, I have to skedaddle. Bye, Buffy-buns, Puppet Han." The man rushed off.

Angel frowned as he watched Kevin ran off. "That man seems familiar. It's not Darth but… maybe it's my imagination."

"Was he a client of yours? I mean, he's a demon." Buffy whispered. Her slayer senses told her that Kevin wasn't human but he wasn't evil. At least, he doesn't seem like the evil type.

"I don't think so but…." Angel felt worried. His senses weren't what they were before and something in his gut told him that Kevin isn't what he seemed. "We better keep an eye on him."

"Right."

XXX

"Damn it." Spike muttered as he tried to scribble on a notepad. "You know, writing a poem takes time and effort. It's not something to be rushed. Should've just show off my fighting prowess."

"Why don't you?" Emma asked as she started to put on some more pale makeup.

"Because, I want to show that I am not just a muscle. I am a poet at heart and these guys actually like my poetry." Spike said as he scratched out a word and wrote in another.

"Well, many of the older vampires do have a certain class about them." Emma said as she tilted her head. "Have you ever met the Immortal? He was very classy and mysterious."

Spike's pen broke. "Yeah, I met him. I never want to think of that ponce!"

"That's what the other vampires thought too, at least the male ones that don't find him attractive." Emma laughed.

Gunn overheard the weird conversation and he had to know. "There are really gay vampires out there?"

"Not gay, just… many straight male vampires actually had sex with other male vampires. It's a custom though the family." Emma explained as Spike looked away.

The man paled as a disturbing thought entered his mind. "Spike, did you and Angel ever…"

"Just once. Long time ago. We were both evil. Don't tell Buffy."

"Right."

"The Immortal was good in bed." Emma sighed as she thought of the vampire. "He actually didn't try to eat me like the others."

Gunn nearly fell over as he heard the last part. "Wait, you actually slept with a vampire?!"

Emma glared at him. "Yes, I have. They are great in bed and you don't have to worry about stds or pregnancy, or anything like that. You just have to worry about getting your blood drained. Although, that having your blood drank out can be erotic too."

"Whoa! Never mind. Have you thought of what to sing?" Gunn asked as he tried not to think of Angel and Spike in any sexual position or Emma having sex with vampires.

"Yeah, it's a song and dance routine. It's not one of my favorites but it's PG so it should work." Emma said, "Belthezar, remember that this is a practice fight, no blood."

"No problem. Your desire is my duty." Belthezar said as he bowed.

Spike smirked at the two. There was serious tension between Emma and Gunn thanks to their opposing backgrounds. One was a girl who had been living a vampire lifestyle for many years and the other was a vampire hunter who kills with a passion. The girl had grown up with the finest education that money can buy while the guy grew up in the projects and had his knowledge uploaded like a computer.

Out of nowhere, he smelled a familiar scent. It wasn't evil but he knew it. He got up and looked around at the various talent show attendants. Many of them are in costume especially with helmets. There was no way he could see which one it was that he smelled. He got up and stared around. "What is it?" Gunn asked. Spike looked serious for a change. That was not a good sign.

"I… I thought I smelled a ghost."

XXX

The group watched as Spike spouted off a poem about how disgusted he was that the woman he loved was his sister and then he kept on gesturing to Buffy who was waiting off stage. After the strange poem, everyone applauded.

"Thank you, Bill." The MC said as he grinned, "Next up is a comedy routine by Buffy Summers and her friend Puppet Han!"

"Knock them dead, Puppet Han!" Spike yelled as everyone applauded.

"Shut up, Spike!" Angel yelled back as Buffy held him to her arm.

"Han!" Buffy urged as she sat down on a stool. "We're going to perform for the audience!"

"Oh right." Angel paused and then asked, "What was the routine again?" At once, there was a bunch of laughter.

Buffy rolled her eyes. The puppet can remember every single sin he had ever committed but if he ever had to do something on stage, his mind left. "The scene! Remember that scene!"

"Oh right." Angel paused and tried to think of the scene. "I'm here to rescue you, Princess."

Buffy looked down at Angel. "You're here to rescue me? I don't need rescuing."

"This time, you do."

"I can handle myself." Buffy paused and said, "Was that even in the movie?"

"I don't know." Angel shrugged and there was more laughter.

Buffy blushed as she looked at the audience. They were screwing up and the others think that it was part of the act. The woman picked up a glass of water and started drinking.

"Ummm… Buffy, can I have a drink too?" Angel asked.

"Sure." She put the glass to his lips and as he drank she said, "Sorry, he gets thirsty sometimes."

"Thanks." Angel nodded as he pushed the glass away.

Buffy gazed down at the puppet. Finally, she got up and said, "Thank you." She and Angel bowed their heads and left as they heard monumental applause.

"I don't want to do that again." Angel confessed as Buffy took him back to the others.

"It was kinda fun. At least they didn't booed us off the stage."

"You were great!" Gunn cheered as he and Angel did a hi-five. "I didn't even see your lips move."

Buffy shoved the man with her free hand. "Very funny!" She paused, "So, we really do good?"

"As good as we could under the circumstances." Angel said as he watched Kevin sing some lounge lizard tunes. "Gunn and Belthezar is next and then Emma. Have you guys seen Darth Vader yet?"

"No."

"Not really. But there are so many Darths here that we could miss him." Buffy said as she looked at the various Darths in the audience.

Angel looked at the arm still attached to him and said, "Ummm… Buffy, you can get your hand out now."

She looked at Angel and then saw that her hand was still in his hole. "Right." The slayer pulled out her hand. "I didn't notice."

"Sure." Emma shook her head in mock sarcasm.

"Right…" Gunn cocked his head.

"You were enjoying it." Spike quipped.

"The tension is thick." Darth Vader said as he crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah." Buffy agreed and then stopped. "You." The group turned their heads at Darth Vader. It was the Darth Vader was they feared and hated. "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Watching the show." Darth Vader said as he looked at them. "You have nothing to fear. I will not attack in this crowd. I wish to win the ring myself."

"And what will you do, kill a demon on stage?" Gunn asked, "And why do you need that ring? It doesn't have magic power."

"Maybe it does but no one thought to use it right." Darth Vader said as he tilted his head. "That is none of your concern."

"It is our concern especially since you harassed my family!" Emma screamed as she and Belthezar marched up to him. "What give you the right to ruin Wesley's tombstone and destroy my home and business!"

Angel looked at her. "What about your father?"

"Oh yeah, that too." Emma said as she twitched. "What gave you the right to do that?"

"The tombstone was irrelevant and I destroyed your business to save you." Darth Vader said as he came up to the woman. "Those who deal with the dark side will be tainted forever. You must give up the lifestyle and go back home."

"She doesn't have to listen to you about the dark side Darth Vader! You're the dude who had been scaring Slayers right and left and you tossed Angel in a tree!" Gunn yelled as he stepped up and put his hands on her shoulders.

Darth Vader stared at her and then at Spike. "I am not interested in dealing out death to those who had suffered. I have a soul no matter how shattered it may be. That is why I had been merciful. However, I will stop showing mercy when I have what I need to save the world from the likes of you."

"Okay, now you are being overcryptic." Buffy said as she came up. "We work for the forces of good. We are champions. We save the world. That is our job."

"The harshest acts in history are done with the best of intentions. Wesley's greatest sin was done with the best of intentions." Darth Vader said as he put his hands behind his back. "I am going to go and win this contest. If I don't win, then I will kill whoever wins the ring. Now, if you excuse me…" The rogue reached into the back and got out an accordion. "I must go." He took off his cape and put on the instrument.

The group watched in fascination. "You know, that would've been serious if it weren't for the accordion." Buffy said and then noticed Angel staring at him. "Angel?"

The puppet bowed his head. "No, it can't be. It's not possible."

"What?" Gunn asked, "Did you figure something out?"

Angel shook as he looked up. "I… I don't know. It's just… I have a horrible feeling about this."

In the audience, Kevin watched as Darth Vader played the accordion. His face paled as he held on to his drink. "Oh dear heavens. I did not see this!" The man got up and then got down again. "Okay, calm down. You're not in the world saving gig anymore. You quit a long time ago."

The rogue stepped down to the audience and came up to the man. "An advanced glamour spell, how interesting." The figure boomed as he tilted his head. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you or even expose you. How did you see my aura, I thought you need me to sing."

"Oh no, music exposes the spirit. I can see the future if the person just plays an instrument but I find it easier if the person sings." Kevin said as he stared at him.

"Do you see death in my future?"

"Everyone dies, even cyborgs. I don't see how you die but…"

The figure turned around. "I see. I don't want to know anything else. Every time I try to find out the future, I screw up. There are some things I must not know." Darth Vader walked away.

"That went well." Kevin said as he downed another drink. "Oh, Powers That Be, if you have any mercy, please don't let me get deeper in this complicated soap opera."

Emma stepped onto the stage. She held on to the microphone and said, "I'm going to sing 'This is Your Life' by Switchfoot. I hope you enjoy." She cleared her throat.

"Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead… yesterday is a promise that you've broken." The woman sang out as she held on to the microphone.

"Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes."

Kevin gasped as he watched what was going on or will go on. "Damn it! Can't you show a little mercy to me?"

"This is your life and today is all you've got now

yeah, and today is all you'll ever have.

don't close your eyes.

don't close your eyes." Emma sang as she closed her eyes and the mood changed.

Gunn and the others watched mesmerized. Emma wasn't a great singer but she was better than the others. Her voice was filled with pain and yet it was filled with emotion.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose."

"Yesterday is a kid in the corner." Emma sang softly as she thought of Wesley. "Yesterday is dead and over."

"This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose"

At that, Kevin got up and rushed to the stage. "Damn conscience! Why do you have to barge in on me just when I got everything straightened out?"

"Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't close your eyes." Emma sang out. Kevin ran to the back stage and looked around.

"This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life are you who you want to be?"

Kevin saw his friends standing there. He could just turn away but he can't. "Guys!" He called out as he saw Angel and his band watching. They turned to see him.

"This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose."

The man tapped on his watch and his form faded into a green scaly demon with red horns. "Lorne!" Gunn greeted as his friends came up.

"And you had everything to lose" Emma finished and the audience applauded.

"I'm glad you showed yourself." Angel said as he held out his hand.

"Ah, well, when the Powers That Be send me a message… I can't really turn away." Lorne said as he shook it. "I'm not going to jump into the save the world thing, so don't get used to me. I watched Darth Vader play the accordion and well… he's a very complicated character. That guy hates Good and Evil so he's a real rogue and that's his greatest power. Well, not his most dangerous ability." The demon paused as Emma came up.

"The Host?" The woman asked, "Is that you?"

"Ah, Eponakins, I see that you had been hanging out with slayers now." Lorne said, "And call me 'Lorne'. Alas, I have no club to call my own very much like you."

"Your empathic power is as strong as ever." Emma said, "We had a short rivalry after I tried out karaoke. Let me say this, vampires and karaoke is a very bad combination."

"Don't I know it. You would think that people with that much experience would at least be able to carry a tune. There are few that could sing but they are as hard to find as a record player in an appliance store."

"Great, Peachy, now tell us what about Darth Vader." Buffy interrupted, "Because, that guy has been super mysterious and I hate super mysterious guys who may or may not be evil."

Angel looked down. "What about me?"

"And me?" Spike added.

"You're different; I know what you look like." Buffy said as she held Angel close. "So, Lorne, spill please."

"Okay, you will find out what he looks like and what you see is what he is." Lorne said as he sighed, "Trust me, when you see his face, you wouldn't want to."

"Is he that ugly?" Emma asked.

"No, just…" Lorne reached up and patted her shoulder. "Please, be strong. Anyway, Belthezar and Gunn, Darth Vader will try to fight you. Don't be a masochist about this. You will lose and if you keep on trying to fight him, he will kill you. When you see his face, back away. Don't try to attack him or deny him."

Spike stared at him. Lorne was being serious and he was scared. "So, we just let the rogue go off on his merry way?"

"Exactly. You better keep away from him. He wants you dead. Well, deader than you are right now." Lorne advised.

"And what did I do to this rogue whatever?" Spike asked defiantly, "I haven't done anything wrong." At that, Angel glared at him. "In the past year." He admitted and then the group continues to look at him. "To any humans."

"Doesn't matter. I have to get going before the fireworks start again." Lorne said as he tapped on his watch and looked human. "Do me a favor; don't try to find me again. I'm not ready for doing this. This is a one time gig. Limited edition."

"That's cool." Gunn said as he and Lorne hit fists. "You deserve a chance for a relatively normal life. Thanks for the help."

"Yeah, if you ever want to stop by, we're at The-"

"The Academy for Gifted Girls in Cleveland. I heard about Slaywarts." Lorne said as he turned around, "I'll think about it. Chou."

"How did he do that? It's like he had one of those image inducer things from X-Men." Angel wondered and the group looked at him. "I started reading comics. For research."

"Well, the guy was head of the Entertainment department, must be something he picked up while there." Gunn figured, "I mean, that place has a lot of cool stuff for being evil and all."

"Next!" A guy said as he came up with a clip board.

"We're up." Gunn said as he and Belthezar got their plastic light sabers. "Ready?"

"Let's go." The demon joined him and walked to the stage.

The group watched as Gunn and Belthezar sized each other up. "You are going down, Darth Maul!" Gunn yelled as he swung his plastic sword at the demon. He felt a little silly being dressed up in a Jedi costume swinging a plastic sword at a real demon. But, it was a show and the demon won't really kill him. Belthezar blocked the sword and swung back at him.

The demon growled as he shoved Gunn away and flung him onto the ground. The guy got up and they 'fought'. "Guys! This isn't a real fight! No killing!" Buffy yelled as she watched them go at it with gusto. "Men."

"Maybe it was a bad idea to have those two fight." Angel pondered.

"Gee, you think?" Emma quipped as she crossed her arms. She glanced at Darth Vader who was standing there watching intensely.

"If this was a real fight, Gunn would have died." Darth Vader boomed.

"Well, it's not a real fight and what are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she reached for her knife.

"Watching. You cannot stop me." The rogue said as he continued watching. "I will kill you if you try to stop me, I know your weaknesses."

"Yeah yeah. I know, you are big bad rogue assassin who is against all things good and evil." Buffy waved off. "I still don't understand what's going on in that helmet of yours. I can't stop thinking about it."

Darth stepped back and said, "You're not… attracted to me are you?"

"No! I hate super mysterious men who may or may not be evil!" Buffy argued, "Except for Angel and Spike."

"Oh good. Because you are an attractive woman but I cannot go with you." Darth Vader said as he nodded. "I know about your tendency to go for super mysterious men in black."

"It's not like that!"

"Hey! Look! They're back!" Angel pointed out as he went between the two. Darth and Buffy saw a bruised Gunn stepping forward with Belthezar. The black man grinned as he held up his broken light saber.

"What a fight! I was in full Jedi mode."

Spike shrugged. "Mace Windu would never say 'Die Demon scum'."

"Okay, but I was in my game. I was hot!" Gunn cheered.

"You are beaten. No broken bones, good." Darth Vader said as he watched him. Gunn's grin left.

"What are you doing here?"

"Watching." Darth Vader replied as he stared at him. "Do you hate me that much?"

"Yeah, why?" Gunn asked as he stiffened up. Now, Darth was being strange. He had been coming up with this weird 'Good and Evil are deadly forces' type of thing. Now, he's acting kinda concerned. Evil demons don't act concerned unless they have an ulterior motive. "You know what? I can't figure you out."

"Don't worry, neither can I." Darth muttered.

"Hey! Look! They're handing out the prizes!" Angel interrupted trying not to make Gunn fight the rogue assassin.

The MC held out the microphone and said, "Okay! Time to hand out the prizes! The fifth place prize of a set of Star Wars figures goes to… Bill Bloody with his poetry!"

"Bill Bloody?" Angel repeated as Spike accepted his prize.

"I had to have some kind of name." Spike shrugged.

"The fourth place prize of a life sized Ewok goes to… Buffy Summers and her Puppet Han!" Buffy smiled as she and Angel in her arms come up to accept the prize. "Awww… he's adorable. But what are we going to do with this?" She wondered as she held up the Ewok. It was the same size as Angel and just as adorable.

"I don't know." Angel said as he looked at the stuffed toy.

"Maybe he can be your substitute teacher." Spike joked as he picked up the Ewok. "He's your size and all."

"Spike!" Angel yelled as he jumped down and pulled the Ewok out.

"Next up, the third place prize is a real Darth Vader helmet and it's to… Darth Vader!" The MC said and Darth came up and accepted the gift. "Heh, looks like you got a spare."

"I noticed." Darth muttered as he held up the helmet.

Emma held her hands as she sensed Darth Vader was staring at her again. If she wins, he will try to kill her and she didn't mind. She wanted his head. She wanted answers. True, she was not close to her family but they were still her family and honor demands that she fight for her family no matter how distant they are.

"The second place prize goes to Emma Wyndam Pryce for her sultry song! It's the complete DVD collection of not only all of the Star Wars movies but the cartoons as well."

Emma held up the DVD collection. "Great, I'm so happy." She said as she smiled nervously.

"And finally… the winner of the talent contest is… Charles Gunn and Belthezar Turner with their ultraimpressive fight! You get these genuine costumes from Star Wars." The MC said as he handed the two some boxes.

Gunn looked through the boxes and held up a ring. "Yes, here it is." He felt proud. For once, he was the one to get the artifact. Despite the fact that he's just a normal human with enough legal knowledge to write up a bunch of Law and Order scripts, he still helped out. He paused when he held up a dress that Padme wore in Attack of the Clones, "What do we do with this?" He looked at Emma and then Buffy.

"That is not my thing." Emma said.

"No way."

"I will take the ring." Darth Vader said as he held out his hand.

"Like Hell you're not!" Gunn said as he pocketed the ring. "Look here, Pal, you are not taking anything from me."

Darth Vader reached into his holster and got out a gun. "I can kill you right now."

"No! Wait!" Angel said as he came up, "Not in front of these people. You seem like a reasonable rogue. What if we play a game? If you win, you get the ring, no fight. However, if we win, you remove your helmet and turn yourself in."

Darth tilted his head and put away his gun. "Interesting. I am in the mood to prove my intellectual prowess without having to kill you. Fine but I won't turn myself in. I will reveal my helmet and answer three questions about my past. I will meet you in a week in your school. You decide the game."

"Fair enough." Buffy said as she looked down at Angel. "We will let you know what the game is."

"I will call you. Until then, farewell." Darth Vader flung his cape around and tripped onto the floor. He got back up and added, "I meant to do that." He rushed off.

XXX

"Angel! Why did you go off and bet our ring on it?!" Buffy yelled as she and the others went to their hotel room.

"If we don't we will be creamed. Lorne told us that we can't just fight Darth Vader like that." Angel insisted, "He was ready to kill us. The only way to do this is to actually use our brains."

"Right." Buffy sighed. As much as she hated to admit it but if they just fought him flat out, they would've lost their lives. She wasn't in the mood to die again. "Okay, we have a week to find out what this ring does, think of a game that we could win, and protect the world. Sure, no problem."

"You know what, we need to celebrate. We kicked ass in the talent show and right now we have the ring." Gunn said as he grinned.

"Gunn is right. We actually won against Darth Vader and we have a chance to find out more about him." Emma added.

"No use in moping about it. We have a chance to do some actual good that doesn't involve sharp pointy weapons." Buffy reasoned, "Let's do this."

To Be Continued…