Hi everyone. Here is chapter 5, please read and review. Thanks for all the reviews.

The next morning Pony woke up alone. Two-Bit was supposed to be with him, but he'd convinced him to go. Pony thought about yesterday and his brothers.

"We can help you Ponyboy." He heard Soda's voice clear as day. They didn't understand. Restlessly, he jumped from the bed. He wiped at the tears that flowed at the thought of never seeing the brothers he loved more than anything again.

They'll be better off without me, Pony thought. Rachel was right.

Rachel ran up to the receptionist.

"I need to see Darry Curtis." She demanded.

"I know he's here. Call him."

"I can't do that, if you don't leave I will have you removed."

"I'll find him myself if you don't." She was desperate now.

When the receptionist reached for the phone, Rachel took a step forward.

"If you call the police, a child's life will be on your hands. Call Darry! Please."

It worked, and she did. While waiting Rachel tried the Curtis house again. No answer. Darry came running into the room.

"Rachel!" He said angrily. "Why are you here?"

"Darry, where is Pony?"

"At the DX with Soda, why?"

"I talked to him and might have said some things to upset him."

He strode to the phone.

"Soda, is Pony with you? It's okay. He prolly went to the movies with Johnny and forgot to tell us." He listened a minute. "No stay there, I'll call you back."

His face was ashen when he hung up.

"What did you say to him?"

"It doesn't matter, but we need to find him." Rachel told him as they ran out the door.

Pony lined all the pills up by size. He got up and got the chocolate milk from the icebox. He knew that he wouldn't have a problem swallowing them. He sank into the chair and closed his eyes. It would all be over. No more guilt or pain. Darry and Soda could get on with their lives. He opened his eyes and looked at a picture of the gang he'd laid there. There's no other way, he thought, then swore he heard Soda say there was.

Slowly Pony got up, leaving his banquet of pills un bothered. He trudged to the back of the house and entered Darry's bedroom. He inhaled all the scents that were his older brother as a tear trickled down his cheek as he once again thought of how he'd hurt Darry and Sodapop. Pony was suddenly so tired, and he dropped onto the bed where he lay hugging Darry's pillow to his chest like a security blanket. Its scent comforted him and he went to sleep.

Darry rushed into the house, Rachel right behind him. He ran to the boys' room, but it was empty. Rachel stood in the kitchen doorway unable to move, then he saw the bottles she held.

"These are empty, but there are pills all over the place. We have to check the rest of the house."

She went to Soda's room. Walking to his own room, Darry found his baby brother lying still as death on his bed.

"God, no! Please, no." He rushed toward him vaguely aware of Rachel picking up the phone.

"Soda's on the way. I also called an ambulance." She said.

Fear ran through him as he lifted Ponyboy's hand. It was warm with a steady pulse. He sat on the bed and cradled him in his arms.

"I think he's all right. Rachel, please leave. Haven't you done enough?"

She nodded and walked out as Soda and the guys rushed in.

Pony's beautiful, clear, green eyes opened. "Darry?"

Darry held him, but it was Soda who kept calm.

"Pony, honey, did you take any pills?"

He held up the empty bottles. Tears gathered in the boys eyes, but he shook his head.

"Thank God." Darry whispered. Soda's shoulders sagged as he knelt beside his brothers.

"You thought about it, didn't you?"

Pony glanced at Darry. "Yes."

"You even had them all ready."

Darry thought he would be sick.

"Oh baby, why?" He asked.

"I wanted to stop the hurting."

Darry tightened his grasp on Pony. Soda sat on the side of the bed and stroked his hair. Several minutes passed, then Dally led the EMT's in. Pony started to protest.

"They just want to check you." Soda said.

Then they stepped back. Dally looked at the three brothers before he spoke.

"Soda, suicide thoughts are not the same as an attempt. He didn't try to kill himself. He made the decision to live."

Wanting to believe that more than anything Soda replied, "Yeah, I guess it is. I feel so bad that it got this far."

Darry's eyes were wet. "So do I, but he made the right choice and we have a chance to help him now."

After Pony had been checked, Soda walked the EMT's out and tell the guys what was going on.

"Darry?" Pony called.

Darry turned to the bed, scooped Pony up and sat down, resting his back against the head board.

"I'm here little colt, I'll always be here, I promise."

When Soda came back, he asked Pony a few questions. Darry held his little brother until he fell asleep. Soda lay on the other side of them. The last thing Darry remembers before he fell asleep was the sad look in Sodapop's eyes as he to closed them to rest.

Three hours later, Pony stared up at him. "I'm sorry Darry."

His face as white as the sheets made the dark circles under his eyes stand out more. He'd slept deeply and Darry had left his side only once to call Mr. Jax and talk to the gang. He smoothed the brown hair back.

"Shhh, no one is mad at you."

Tears pooled in Pony's eyes and he clutched the blankets tightly.

"I caused you even more trouble."

"No!" Darry said firmly. "None of this is your fault. This is all my fault. I should have told you and Soda about Rachel from the beginning. You are not bad, and we love you."

Pony frowned, "How did you know I felt like that?"

"Soda overheard you and Johnny talking and figured it out."

"But Darry, that's not all."

"All right baby, obviously. I don't understand everything." Fear flowed through him like ice water. "But I swear Pony, I will listen to whatever you have to say. I'll do anything that needs to be done to help you through this. God, you'll never feel so desperate that you'll . . . " His voice broke and he had to force himself to continue. "That you'll consider ending your life."

"Okay Darry, if you say so." His eyes closed and he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Darry settled into the chair he'd pulled by the bed. He'd been there a long time and would stay the rest of the night, hell every night if he had to. An hour later, Pony woke up again.

"Darry, I'm thirsty." Darry immediately woke from his doze. He helped Pony sit up and told him to take small sips of the cold water.

"Feelin better?"

Reaching up to touch the beard on Darry's face he said, "I guess you been here all night?"

Darry's stomach twisted.

"Of course I have."

"Ain't you going to work today?"

"No little one, I'm not."

Pony had a thought. "Soda?"

"He's in your room, hopefully asleep. He said to tell you that he loves you."

Pony smiled and leaned back in the bed.

"Don't worry about a thing, just get some rest." Darry told him.

So he did.

At four in the morning, he woke up and Darry moved in his seat. Pony reached for his hand and clasped it as Soda came in and lay down with him.

"I was so scared. Darry, I realized I couldn't go through with it."

"I'm so grateful for that." The words wrenched from Soda were echoed by Darry.

"I kept thinking about you and Soda, the gang, Mama and Daddy, but mostly about how I love you and Sodapop."

Darry rubbed his back.

"We love you too."

Ponyboy grinned and then went back to sleep.

Closing his weary eyes, Darry willed his tears away as him and Soda lay on either side of him. When Ponyboy woke up at dawn, Darry was watching him.

"Now what?" He asked, but there were no easy answers.

"What do you want to happen? Pony, you can tell me. I know I wasn't listening before and I have been strict with you, but I'm listening now."

So in the early morning hours, Darry and Pony had a brother-to-brother, heart-to-heart talk. Soda listened as their baby brother spoke about his guilt that their parents died, he told them how alone he felt and how much he missed Darry because he was gone so much though he understood why. He told them how he was really trying in school so they could be proud, but he felt like he was drowning.

Darry listened to all the information and each detail pierced his heart. What hurt the most was Pony's fear that Darry couldn't keep him safe away from Rachel.

God, what have I done? Did I really put so much pressure on him? Darry thought. Talking quietly they promise Pony it would get better. After the very emotional child fell asleep, Darry left the room.

"Stay with Pony. I don't want him to wake up alone." He told Sodapop. He had an idea, but would need the gang's help.

Pony had been sleeping a lot since yesterday, but Darry had a feeling that he really needed the rest.

"What can we do to help?" Two-Bit asked. "How's the kid?" He added.

"I hope he will be fine. You can all see him later. Right now, we need to go through all of Dad's papers. Most of them are stored in the closet and attic. Two-Bit, why don't you, Steve, and Dally take the attic? Johnny and me will take the bedroom. Look for anything we can use against Rachel."

Several hours later, Darry was checking on Pony when Johnny came to the door.

"I think I found something."

He handed him a bunch of old letters. Darry read one and jumped up.

"Johnny, go tell the guys we got it. Soda, don't leave Pony alone. I'll be back soon."

Darry ran out of the house after calling Rachel to meet him at the Dingo. She offered him a beer when he sat across from her.

"After what happened are you ready to admit you can't do it and give him to me? I'll let you and Soda visit Ponyboy."

"You are as much to blame as anyone. If you had left us alone like I asked you to, this never would have happened."

She didn't say anything, simply stared at him.

"I found these in my father's things. I have the originals. If you don't leave my family alone, I will use them against you."

Rachel opened the envelope and drew in a deep breath. Inside were the letters she'd written to Darryl Curtis. Darry picked one up and read it.

"This one is really interesting. In one breath you tell Dad how much you love him and in the next you beg him to make Mom get rid of Ponyboy. I believe you called him the no-good brat that was ruining his life. Now you want to take him to raise? There's no way in hell that will happen."

"Darry, this is not how it looks."

"I don't care. You have until tomorrow morning to call your lawyers off. If I don't hear from you or Mr. Jones, by evening this will be on the front page of every paper around here."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know you didn't. What did you tell Pony when you talked to him?"

"I told him that your Mom didn't want him, then I showed him a letter she wrote about your Dad. I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Yeah you are. Goodbye." He left.

Back at the house, Pony was awake and in the living room watching Mickey Mouse with Johnny while the others played cards.

Please let me know if you like this chapter. I know it's kind of mushy with the brother's. That's how I wanted it to be. So I think it turned out really good.