Hey...
So I know this update is really fast, but I didn't think that you guys would really mind. Like always, I want to thank everyone who had read and reviewed. So thanks. Now onto chapter 4.

Summary: Lucas Scott is just a boy...who seems to control his life. What is Nathan supposed to do when Lucas slowly takes away everything he has ever known? Two brothers, brought together by the love for the game, and the love for the girl. Naley, Brucas

I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU
CHAPTER 4

She glanced at the clock as she slung her bag across her shoulder. Usually she was ready for school, she was one of the few who actually looked forward to Monday mornings, but today she dreaded it.

A car horn sounded outside, her head snapped to the noise. She wondered which Scott brother it was. After Saturday, she could honesty say she had no clue. She had successfully dodged both for the remainder of the weekend, but she had classes with both today, how was she supposed to avoid them the entire day?

She opened her front door, ready to tell whichever one was waiting in her driveway to leave. But instead of either boy's truck idling in her driveway, she found a blue bug. "Haley, get in." Brooke called from her window. Haley reluctantly agreed as she slid into the passenger seat, her bag resting on her lap.

"Not that I'm not grateful for the ride and all, but which one sent you?" Haley arched her brow over at the other brunette as she backed her car, in Haley's opinion, a little too quickly out of her driveway.

"Neither." She glanced over, smiling slightly to herself as Haley's hand clutched the armrest. She shrugged upon coming to a red light and twisted her head to face Haley. "Nathan basically stumbled up to my house last night drunk off his ass, and Lucas was completely avoiding my calls, so I figured it had something to do with you."

Haley simply shrugged as she leaned her head against the cool window. She let her eyes flutter shut momentarily as she thought of the Scott boys. "It's for the best…" She stated, whether she was trying to convince herself or Brooke, she wasn't really sure.

"So you're really done?" Brooke questioned. She pulled her car into the parking space, but made no move to get out. "Listen, I know that it sucks about Lucas, but I don't see why that has to affect anything with you and Nathan."

"It's too hard to explain."

"How? Nathan and Lucas are two completely different people." She began to argue. Sure it hurt that Lucas was leaving, but Brooke just didn't get what that had to do with Nathan. "Nathan is taking you two really hard. I've never seen him so, blobby."

"Blobby?" Haley smiled despite herself. Leave it to Brooke to put a smile on her face when she was feeling this down. "Is that even a word?"

Brooke quickly shooed her questioned off with a flick of her wrist. "He is. He just sits around my house all day. Not his, mine. I can't get him to leave. He says his apartment reminds himself too much of you."

"Look, Brooke, I'm sorry, but I don't see how I can—"

"My living room smells like a brewery Haley!" Brooke exclaimed. "And I swear if he sits there for one more day without showering, he's going to start attracting flies." She pulled the keys from her ignition and placed them into Haley's hand.

"What are these for?"

"Just in case." Brooke winked before climbing out of her car. Haley scrambled out and jogged to catch up with her. They strode into the school, one looking for the Scott boys, the other hoping to avoid them.


Haley quickly dropped into her chair and tossed her bag onto the floor behind her. Her eyes instantly wandered over to the empty desk across the classroom, noting that it was empty. She had suspected it would be. A light tap on her shoulder pulled her attention back to her side of the room. She glanced over at the desk beside her. Looks like she wasn't as lucky as she had hoped.

"Haley, please—" He tried instantly. She quickly noted his disheveled look. The way his hair laid un-styled upon his head and the highly noticeable bags under his eyes made him appear older than he was.

"Lucas, just stop." She mumbled quietly as the teacher took his spot at the front of the classroom. His shoulders drooped as he dejectedly laid his head upon the desk beside her. A pang trembled within her chest, but she quickly hardened herself. Besides, she wasn't the one who had lied. Why should she feel guilty?

Somewhere between reading the poem the teacher had written on the board and the teacher handing out a worksheet, the light snores of the blonde boy beside her filled her ears. A light tapping on the desk broke her from her analyzing of him and brought her attention to the teacher standing before their table. "Mr. Scott." The teacher attempted, his voice stern with a hint of irritation evident.

"He's, uh, not feeling too well." Haley quickly brought the teacher's attention upon herself rather than the snoring boy beside her. "He was up all last night, we went to some Mexican restau—"

The teacher quickly held his hand up to stop her, a disgusted look crossing his features. "Wake him up, will ya?" He motioned toward him. "Make sure he actually gets to the nurse."

She quickly shook him awake and escorted him out of the classroom into the deserted hallway. She wasn't sure why she had stuck up for him, she much rather would have liked to see him get in trouble, it would have served him right anyway. But in the end she figured she couldn't do that to him. At least not when she was the reason for his sleep deprivation. "Haley, what are we doing?"

"You're going to the nurse." She smiled with amusement. She knew that Lucas hated the nurse. Every time he got sent there, he would return with a fixed pout on his lips. The nurse, who was nearing her forties, seemed to have a thing for the Scott boys, and she wasn't about to hide the fact.

"Haley…" His voice took on a tone of whining. He grudgingly followed her, his feet dragging against the floor. If she wasn't still mad at him she would have laughed at his pout, even teased him a little.

"It's your own damn fault." She flung over her shoulder as he trailed behind her. He was definitely stalling, taking his time from actually reaching the nurse's office. Haley purposely sped up, knowing that he would at least keep up with her pace just to talk to her. "If you hadn't fallen asleep in class I wouldn't have had to save your ass from Tangstley."

"You didn't have to." He mumbled mostly to himself. He much rather would have preferred to experience the wrath of his English teacher than have to sit through a session with the nurse.

"Good luck." she smiled devilishly as she halted in front of the nurse's office. He glanced at the door before turning back to her and taking a step toward her.

"Haley please, just listen." He pleaded with her. He took her silence as a good sign, at least she wasn't yelling. "I'm sorry. I never meant to keep it from you, I just didn't want to hurt you."

"Ya, well, you didn't do a very good job." She replied sarcastically, her hands finding their way to her hips.

"I know. But Haley, you gotta believe me. I truly am sorry." He reached out tentatively and grabbed one of her hands in his own. He lightly kissed the back of it and gave it a friendly squeeze. "You're my best friend Hales, always have been and always will be. And I can't sleep at night knowing that you're mad at me, or that you're hurting, or whatever it is that you're feeling."

She let out a light sigh, her eyes dropping to their hands. When she didn't speak he decided to continue. "I want…I need you to talk to me Haley. I need my Hales. So please, just let me back in."

She slowly nodded, and a smile broke out across his face. "Promise me you'll call me everyday? And visit, a lot?"

"You know I will." He quickly pulled her into a hug as she rested her head against his chest. "Promise me you won't find a new best friend?" He mumbled into her hair. She simply nodded, her arms wrapping around his waist tighter.


Lucas quickly jogged up the driveway after Brooke and followed her into her house. Immediately upon entering he could hear the distant sounds of basketball echoing in from her living room.

"How ya feeling Natey?" Brooke questioned as she dropped her bag onto the floor next to the couch. Nathan barely moved as she sat down beside him. His eyes were focused on the TV, and he replied with a simple groan.

Lucas took in the coffee table littered with chip bags and beer cans, both he could smell. He sat on the edge of the chair as Brooke tried to get more than a grunt out of her best friend.

"What's he doing here?" He could hear Nathan mumble. Brooke replied quietly, most likely on purpose so he couldn't hear.

"Listen, Nathan." Lucas scooted from the chair and cleared a space on the coffee table to sit on. A few beer cans tumbled onto the floor but no one moved to pick them up. "I'm sorry about Haley. I'll talk to her if you like?"

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah man." Lucas smiled slightly. He figured it was the least he could do. It was partially his fault, he had asked Nathan to keep the secret from Haley. And he knew how much it hurt to not have Haley in your life. The past month without her had been hell. "She'll come around. She's just trying to deal with my leaving. After that, I'm sure she'll realize that she made a mistake."

Nathan simply nodded and then turned his attention back to the TV. The only movements he made were to bring another chip into his mouth or to take a sip of his beer. Brooke smiled lightly at her boyfriend and mouthed 'thank-you.'

A light knock echoed into the living room, startling the couple, but Nathan didn't seem to notice. Brooke instantly stood to answer it, as did Lucas. "I'll get it." He smiled gently at her. "He could use some company." He nodded toward Nathan. She nodded gratefully and sat down next to her friend.

"Nathan." The quiet voice caused the two best friends to whip their heads in her direction. Nathan jumped up quickly, his hands fumbling to dust his clothes off. Brooke's eyes shifted between her and Lucas, who stood smiling behind her.

"Haley." Nathan's voice came out gruff. It was the first time in days that Brooke had actually heard any type of emotion come from him. He was standing in front of her in a instant, his eyes studying her closely.

Lucas inclined his head toward the kitchen, signally to Brooke that they should leave the two alone. Brooke took a hesitant step toward the kitchen. She wasn't sure if she wanted to leave her best friend alone with Haley. She knew the power that the girl held over him, and she didn't want to see him get hurt again.

"Haley." Nathan repeated, his hand coming up to cup her cheek gently. A small smile slowly appeared on his face. She calmly wrapped her fingers around his hand, the smile falling from his face as she removed his hand from her cheek.

"You look like crap." She stated as she eyed him up and down. He slowly nodded as a smile crept onto her lips.

"I missed you." He murmured quietly. She nodded as she led them toward the couch. He sat down, pulling her down beside him.

"I miss you too Nathan." She admitted quietly. His fingers played absently with hers as he gripped her hand in his own. She took note of the beer cans and his wrinkled clothes, smiling to herself. For once Brooke had not exaggerated on her story.

"Listen, Haley…" Nathan began. "I'm sorry, ok? I never should have lied to you. I should have told you the second I found out."

"No." She shook her head. "Your brother asked you to do something, you were right to honor his request. I'm not mad at you Nathan, not one bit." His brow furrowed in confusion at her statement, a nervous smile gracing his lips.

Haley found herself pushing his hair from his forehead. He looked so lost, confused. Suddenly he leaned forward, his lips brushing lightly against hers. She instantly leaned into him. For a second everything felt right. She felt safe.

But then he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. He waited for any type of reaction, any sign as to what she was feeling or thinking. Her eyes eventually fluttered open to meet his. "I…I can't Nathan. I'm sorry."

"Why?" His voice broke. She had moved away from him now, opting to stand instead of sitting so close to him. "You have to tell me why Haley! I don't get it."

"I just need to figure some stuff out Nathan."

"Like what?" He questioned. Maybe he could help her, whatever it was. He would help her.

"Just, things Nathan." She knew it sounded stupid, but this was already hard enough.

"What Haley?" His voice began to rise.

"Me!" She finally relented. "My entire life it's always been me and Lucas. Us against the world. And now that he's leaving, I just think its time that I find out who I am."

"So what does that have to do with us Haley?"

"Everything!" She exclaimed. She stepped forward, her hands grasping both of his between them. She kissed them gently as he watched her motions, the confusion flooding his eyes. "I need you to let me do this. Who knows, this might not be the end of us. I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna find out who I am Nathan."

"But I know who you are." He murmured quietly. "You're Haley. My Hales. And I love you. And I thought that you loved me."

"Nathan, you know I do." She whispered sternly, upset that he would even question that fact.

"Then that should be enough!" He stated angrily.

"I'm sorry." She whispered again as she dropped his hands. She slowly stepped back toward the door, looking dead in his eyes. She wasn't blind, she could see the tears and anger mingling together inside them, but she willed her self to walk away. "I do love you Nathan, don't you ever doubt that."

She quickly kissed her hand, waving goodbye to him as she shut the door. He stood motionless, his eyes fixed on the door as if he was waiting for her to walk back through it. Lucas slowly emerged from the kitchen, Brooke in tow, after they heard the front door close.

"Natey." Brooke whispered quietly as she rubbed his arm soothingly. He still didn't move, didn't even acknowledge their presence.

"Nathan." Lucas attempted, his hand cupping his shoulder cautiously. They watched as Nathan wiped the tears that streaked down his cheeks with his shirtsleeve.

"She left." He mumbled needlessly. He slowly turned his head downward to Brooke. "She just…walked away."

"I know." Brooke nodded. She eased her hand around his back, pulling him into a hug. His head rested upon her hair, his eyes still watching the door. "I'm sorry buddy."

"I love her Brooke." He mumbled as she pulled back, both still in each other's embrace. She nodded again. His tongue darted out as he licked the fallen tears from his lips. "It hurts so bad."

"Why don't you go lay down upstairs?" She offered. He simply nodded, his arms dropping from her waist. He slowly trudged his way down the hallway, his steps heavy as he climbed the stairs. Brooke waited until she heard the click of the door before turning to Lucas.

"Is he going to be ok?" He questioned worriedly.

"He will be." She smiled lightly, but Lucas knew it was forced. He could see the concern in her eyes for her friend. "Why don't you head out? I'll call you tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "We're probably just gonna watch some TV. I'll try to make it to school tomorrow, but if not, I'll definitely stop by the café after you get out."

"Alright." He nodded reluctantly. He stepped forward as she fell into his embrace. "Call me if you need anything, promise?" She nodded into his chest as he kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks Luke." She mumbled into his shirt before they pulled away. He waved as he too shut the door behind him, leaving just Brooke and Nathan.

Brooke quickly made her way upstairs and into her room. There Nathan lie, his face buried in her pillows, flung across her bed haphazardly. She gently lay down beside him, her hand rubbing soothing circles along his back. "How you doing Natey?"

He mumbled something incoherently into her pillows before rolling onto his side and facing her. "Can I stay here tonight?" He questioned hopefully.

"You know you can." Brooke smiled gently at him. She pulled his shoes from his feet and his jacket from his shoulders and tossed them into her chair. Gently, she pulled him down with her onto the bed and pulled her blanket across them.

His head rest heavily on her shoulder as her hand stroked lovingly though his hair. "Thanks Brooke." He whispered tiredly, his eyes drooping wearily. She laid a light kiss on his forehead as he fell asleep.

"You're gonna be ok Nate, I promise." She assured him even though he couldn't hear her. She would make sure of that. Nathan was her other half, when he hurt, she hurt. They were destined to be in this life together.


Lucas finally arrived home, his own exhaustion setting in. He shrugged his hood off and tossed it onto the chair. Smiling to himself, he pulled the couch blanket onto Keith who had fallen asleep, the TV still on, most likely waiting for him to get home.

He quietly clicked the TV off before continuing to his room. He pushed the door open, closing it quickly as he noticed Haley lying in the middle of his bed. He rushed quickly to her side, pulling her quivering body against his chest. His hand tangled in her hand as she sobbed against his shirt.

"Shh, Hales, its ok." He whispered in her ear. She slowly pulled back, her tear filled eyes meeting his. His thumb caught another one as it made its path down her cheek.

"Can I just sleep here tonight?" She questioned. He nodded; he probably would have made her anyway.

"I'm sorry about all this Haley." He apologized as he slowly pulled her back down onto his chest. The two lay on his small bed, her head rested gently against his chest, his arm wrapped around her back for support.

"I didn't want to hurt him." She stated. She truly didn't, but this was something that she needed to do for herself, by herself. She had hoped that he would understand, but by the look in his eyes as she left Brooke's house, she knew that he couldn't.

"I know."

Lucas' snoring filled her ears for the second time that day. She shifted herself carefully so she could watch him sleep. The moonlight that framed his face made him look as though he was younger. She smiled gently, remembering all of the times that they had together.

In just a short four days he would be gone. And in four days, she would lose everything that she had ever known. A fear washed over her that night. She had no one now. No one to look over her, to be there when she was sad, to laugh with her when she was happy.

Haley found herself wondering what life without Lucas would be. Sure, he was just a boy, but he was her boy. The one that would fight to the death for her. Who was she without him?