Suppressed Emotions, Hidden Desires
Chapter 5: A Forbidden Love
Again, The LAST chapter. Hope you liked this!
Regocnitions:
Frost-EVA-04: Glad you like it. No, I don't think you're a perv, you need to see the people I go to school with...
Master Disaster: Well, thanks? I was going to put that scene in there sooner or later. She's not gonna be pregnant, no. But, that's a good Idea for a fic later...
Can't do all the recognitions, gotta get to work!
Chapter 5:
Shinji and Asuka were still lip locked, and Misato was watching them from the cracked door. She soon closed the door, and walkd to her room, a fresh beer in her hand. She sat down on her bed, and started crying. The way they were, it reminded her about her teenhood. How she had sex non-stop for almost a week, and yet felt sorry for herself. She longed for that feeling of being in true love. She thought how they must've felt during last night. Enduring passion was something that came to mind. She smiled, and thought to herself, hating herself for what she was saying. "Those lucky mother fuckers...I hope they're happier than I was..." She was snapped out of her stupor when the phone rang. "Hello, Katsuragi residence." She answered as cheerfully as she could. It was a gruff voice on the other end.
"Hello Miss Katsuragi. Is Asuka home?" It was High Commander Soryu. Her eyes widened.
"Yes sir! I'll get her. ASUKA!" She yelled, holding her hand over the reciever.
"WHAT!" She yelled back.
"Your father's on the phone, he'd like to speak with you. Fear surged through Asuka as she called back to Misato.
"Coming!" She burst through her bedroom door. "Hello? Papa! How are things?" Her face drained, and her expression changed as her father told her the news. Tears welled in her eyes.
"Okay Papa...I'll tell her...But, why just me? Why not all the pilots?" She listened as her father spoke again. "I see...Yes, I'll pack. I love you, too. Bye." She handed the reciever back to Misato, and promptly fell apart. Misato knelt down to Asuka's level, and asked her, "What's wrong, Asuka?" What happened next would destroy Misato's earlier thoughts.
"Papa told me...that...there is a war...going on in Germany, between the Germans, and the Russians. Apparently they need me to pilot Eva to help them win. I've got three days left here. I'm never coming back. I'm so sorry..." Misato was shocked. She told her to wait, and went out into the hallway. She heard a door opening, some chatter, a suprised gasp, then Misato's bedroom door opened to reveal Shinji, and Misato, tears streaming down their faces.
"Asuka, is Misato telling the truth?" Shinji cried even harder when Asuka nodded yes. Shinji threw his arms around her, and held onto her for life itself. He was pleading in his mind to let this be a bad dream. "Please, tell me this is a bad dream...please Asuka." She quietly replied no, and Shinji, torn to shreds because of the news, pleads over, and over into her shoulder.
"Please don't leave me...please Asuka...I need you...I love you." She pressed Shinji into herself, and was torn between taking Shinji with her, or taking her life to end this pain.
"I'm sorry Shinji, but they need me too. I'm so sorry. I wish you could come with me, but this is a private matter." She rocked her body back and forth, as if trying to calm him down. Nothing would calm him down. Shinji released her, and she stood up. She went into her room, and pulled out the four suitcases that she had with her the day she arrived almost a month ago. She packed everything she owned into those four cases. All she was leaving was her bed. She walked out of her room, and straight into Shinji's arms. She looked into his sky-blue eyes, and kissed him. She broke the kiss, and gazed into his eyes. She finally buried her face in his chest, and started crying, coating the front of his shirt with tears. He held her head in place, and whispered, "It'll be okay Asuka...It'll be okay. I promise." She looked at him after she finished crying, and barricated herself in her room. Shinji walked down the hall to his bedroom. He reached into his nightstand drawer, and pulled out a bottle of pills.
"Praise God I have these little bastards." He took out two, and threw them into his mouth. He then swallowed them, and laid down on his bed. Almost instantly, he began to feel drowsy. "Damn..." He muttered. "Those sleeping pills are strong." After about a minute, he had drifted to sleep.
He was having a rather satisfying dream. In it, he and Asuka had slaughtered every single one of NERV's people, including the commander, and the NERV Berlin branch's men. The last person they killed was, fittingly, Asuka's father. She smiled at him, a wide, hellish grin, as she shot him through the heart. She broke into a fit of maniacal laughter, and afterwards, made love in a pool of blood. Shinji awoke after dreaming that. He knew what time it was. He simply popped another into his mouth, swallowed it, and had another dream. In it, he and Asuka were still teenagers, yet were getting married. All it was, basically, was them reciting their vows, and stuff. Afterwards, the ringbearer, oddly enough Misato, walked up to him, and handed him the case. He opened it, and took the ring out. It was a beautiful ring, real diamond, and 24 karot gold. For some reason, NERV's motto was inscribed on the inside, "God's in his Heaven, all's right with the world." Asuka's blue eyes sparkled when she saw it. She held her hand out, fingers splayed out in an odd manner. He slid the ring onto her finger, and the faceless shadow that was beside them, said the words, "You may now, kiss the bride." Shinji closed his eyes, and leaned forward. Asuka did the same. The minute their lips touched, he was literally slapped awake. "Shinji! Shinji! Thank God! I thought I'd lost you. Have you been sleeping!" It was Asuka's terrified voice. He had slept for three pill dosages; each pill makes you sleep for eight hours. Shinji tried to explain to her what had happened. "Asuka, I'm okay. I just took some pills. Sleeping pills." Her eyes widened in anger.
"WHAT! Why! I thought you'd killed yourself! Don't ever...do that...again, Shinji Ikari!" She said, between sobs at the end of the sentence.
"it's okay, Asuka-chan, I just wanted to...get away."
"What do you mean, GET AWAY?" She said, sobbing into his chest.
"I needed to sleep. Besides, I had a perfect dream." He said, reassuringly.
"What was it about?" She asked curiously.
"Well, in it, we were the age we are now, yet we were getting married. I had a beautiful three-diamond ring, made of solid gold. It had NERV's motto on the inside, so we never forgot the best years of our lives. We kissed, yet when we did in the dream, you slapped me awake." She smiled, and kissed him. He kissed her back. "Fuck it. Two more fucking days is all I have with her. I wish she didn't have go. What if she...?" Shinji stifled a sob, but Asuka caught it. "What is it, Shinji?"
"Asuka...what if you...please, don't take this the wrong way, but...what if you...die?" Shinji asked, almost expecting to be slapped. He opened his eyes, to meet Asuka's blue orbs.
"I was wondering that myself, but papa says it's impossible. I don't believe him. Please..." She said. She was none too happy that Shinji couldn't help her; in fact, she didn't think her father would approve of her having a boyfriend. They kissed for a while, and then simply passed out in each others arms. They didn't dream, just slept in one anothers arms. They woke up several hours later, and kissed, wanting to ge the most out of each other before she left for Berlin, along with Unit 02. They again fell asleep in each others arms, yet Shinji had a dream this time.
Asuka was naked, pressing her much larger chest down on him. "Make love to me, Shinji..." She moaned. Shinji scrambled to get away, yet couldn't. He looked around, and was surrounded by glass. He looked down, and he had chains around his wrists, his ankles too. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" Asuka, in an attempt to quiet him, shoved her breasts in his face. "You don't like these, Shinji?" Shinji resisted the urge to scream yes, and simply swallowed and bit his lip. She crawled backwards, and positioned herself above his manhood. Shinji waited for the inevitable, yet the feeling never came. He opened his eyes, and was holding nothing. Asuka was gone. "How fuckin long did I sleep!" He thought. He raced out, and found Asuka on the couch. It was late, and he went back to bed, aided by one of his pills. Luckily, his sleep then was pleasent.
He woke the next morning to find Asuka in his room, completely naked. Even her hair was let down out of the ponytails it was normally in. One more day. This was the last time he'd get to have her body. "Shinji, Misato's gone. She just left. Please, I need to feel you just once more. I may never get this opportunity again. I want you." She moaned. He stood up, and she pushed into him, just like his dream. Shinji removed his shirt, and then his pants. He needed this as well. She was the hottest girl he had ever seen, and he loved her. She loved him back, this was a match made in fucking heaven. They knew what they needed, and fulfilled that need. Shinji had fueled this raging fire in his heart with love, passion, and all of his past anger towards her. It fired out of control, and surged through the rest of his body. She had a fire in her soul, fueled by exactly the same thing. They were in heaven. He had a beautiful woman that he may one day marry her, but right now, this immense pleasure was all he needed. She said she needed this, and so he gave it to her. He couldn't have been more passionate than he was being now. As they finished, Asuka said something that was totally shocking to Shinji. "Shinji, I want you to come with me to Berlin. I need you. What you just did felt better than anything in the world. It was amazing. I want you." She said, while sporting the most innocent face she could muster. Shinji couldn't help but smile. He complied, placing his hands on her bare chest, wrapping his fingers around, and, making sure he had a good grip, pulled her by her breasts to him. He kissed her, and replied to her, sporting the happiest face he could muster. "I will. I needed you, yet, I don't know what'll happen if I do go. Your damn father is the NERV high commander. He'd execute me if he found us together. Though, I'll try. I want you too Asuka, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I love the way you are. Thin, yet still sexy as hell!" She blushed at the compliment. Soon after, their blood went cold, as Misato Katsuragi walked in on them. "Holy. Fucking. Shit. You two...dammit! Asuka, you're father's gonna hear about...oh Fuck it! Screw that old codger! If you two wanna fuck, be my guest! Asuka's gonna get fucked sooner or later, by a guy she loves, or raped by some horny fucking maggot on the street. At least it's Shinji. He couldn't hurt a fucking fly!" They were so happy Misato say it their way. They knew it was late, and walked out, with their night clothes. When they saw Misato, Shinji almost fainted, yet Asuka almost puked. Their twenty-nine year old guardian was tanding there, cooking their dinner, yet her outfit made accentuated her breasts almost to a point where they'd be illegal outside private property. It was chilly in the house, and her nipples WERE standing on end, like the hair on the back of Shinji's neck after he saw her. Asuka burst out in a fiery barrage of her colorful vocabulary.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A FUCKING PROSTITUTE! ARE YOU TRYING TO TEASE SHINJI? DAMMIT, HE'S MINE!" She bellowed. Misato walked over to Shinji, and, completely ignoring Asuka, shoved her very large breasts into his face. She spoke in a very arousing tone. "Shinji, when Asuka gets like this, I want you to enjoy every minute of it. You like what you see? I'm not asking if you love me, I just want to know, if when Asuka gets like this, you'll be really attracted to her...well, your body's already answered that question..." She said the last few words smugly, as if to really make Asuka mad. He was totally ashamed. He tried to resist her, yet his body didn't care who's breasts they were, he was going to be aroused at the sight. She walked away, satisfied, and continued cooking. Shinji looked at Asuka, with a totally ashamed look on his face. She leaned over, and kissed him, yet suprised him when she grabbed his manhood. "It's alright, I know how the Male brain works." Shinji smiled, and Misato laid dinner out. They ate, and while they ate, Shinji stared only at Asuka's chest. He glanced at Misato once, and saw her wink one eye. Shinji and Asuka finished, and went into his room, ready to welcome sleep. They encircled each other with their arms, his lanky, rough arms, and her smooth, silky soft ones. Shinji dug his fingers into her arms. She moaned, and dug her nails into his back. "Ah...loving pain..." He rested his nose on her hair, taking in that farmiliar scent. He felt like he was with someone, and with that someone, it felt as if time stood still. Like all clocks had stopped, and everything was quiet. He fell into a relaxed sleep, and only dreamed of Asuka, lying next to him, on the banks of the lake that was next to Tokyo-3. For the longest time. Until, a hand, reached down, and snatched her away. His only love, now gone, with no knowledge of where she is. He opened his eyes, and met the cool, gentle sunlight of dawn. He saw Asuka, and held her close to him. "Goodbye, Asuka... for now." That seemed to make her react, in a way Shinji never expected. She exploded with tears, and shook with shuddering gasps for air. He held her closer to him, and she constricted his chest. She didn't want to let go. He could almost hear the music, the funeral theme, that would be played bu fate, when Asuka was taken by ship, back to Germany.
Misato walked into his room, to find the two lovers entangled in one another.
"Yes, Misato?" Shinji snapped. She jumped, as she didn't know they were awake.
"Shinji, it's time for Asuka to leave. Commander Soryu is at the docks. We've asked the NERV branch here to not come by the docks, as to leave you two alone. Come on, wake Asuka." Misato spoke tenderly.
"I am awake." Asuka snapped. She stood up, in the uniform she was wearing when she arrived exactly a month ago: her yellow sundress. Shinji walked her through the apartment, Asuka carrying all her suitcases. No one spoke until they got to the docks. Commander Soryu sounded as happy as happy could be.
"Asuka! How's my little girl?" The commander threw hi arms around his daughter, only to meet a cold expression. "So, you must be Shinji. Pilot of Eva Unit 01." He nodded. Shinji wanted to kill the elder Soryu right then and there. "I'll give you two a few minutes to say your goodbyes." He then stalked off, helping load her Eva onto the aircraft carrier it would be laid down on. "Shinji, I'll ask if you can come with me, but my father's stubborn. I want to be with you forever, but my father...well---" She was cut off by Shinji, pressing his lips onto hers, making her reach her hand up, and place it on his cheek. They stayed that way, for an eternity it seemed like, until commander Soryu yelled at Shinji to release her daughter. "Young man, you know I have the power to end your pathetic life? I will exercise that power, should I see you and my daughter like that again. She will be back. Five years." She was taken aback by what her father did. She stood there, wathcing him fume. "Asuka...I swear, I will not see anyone until you come back to me. I love you." She poured her tears onto him, and watched, as her father pulled her away. She was taken onto a ship in which all personnel were held. Shinji watched, as the ship pulled away from the dock and forward. He went home with Misato, on the way there, crying his eyes out into her shoulder.
In the following weeks, Shinji had become a mess. He stayed in his room all day, only coming out to shower and eat. Exactly a month after Asuka left, he recieved something that would drive him over the edge of the narrow bridge that was his sanity. The telegram read, in big bold letters:
"Shinji Ikari, pilot of Unit 01, your fellow pilot, Soryu Asuka Langley, has been wounded in action. Unable to determine if she will live or die."
That drove him to the edge. He hoped against hope, and prayed, that she'd be okay. One week later, his horrors came to life.
"Shinji Ikari, your fellow pilot has died. Time: 3:56 AM. Place: Berlin Regional Hospital.
Cause: Injuries recieved in battle. Body will be shipped back to Japan, to be buried there."
That caused him to be pushed over the edge, down into the ravine below, that was the trap of his tortured mind. He staggered, down the hall, to Misato's room. He pushed the door open, a sickly smile on his face. He looked in her desk drawers, and found what he wanted: Misato's standard issue self-defence pistol. He chambered a round, and put the gun to his head.
"I love you Asuka!" He yelled, as he pulled the trigger. He fell in a heap on the floor.
Misato walked in, and smelled something rank. She walked down the hall to her room, and saw blood under the door. She kicked it open, and fell to the floor in a faint. Shinji Ikari's body was in a heap on her floor, his gray matter scattered on the wall.
Shinji and Asuka were now united.
Until the end of time.
End.
A/N: Short for a last chapter, but good I'd say. Im not going to write for about four days, to catch up on sleep. Sorry guys!
G.M.T.D.M.
