2 –Have Movie Night
I hate popcorn. Why the hell did I ever take this goddamn job! It's a fucking Friday night and I'm stuck here at the movie theater selling popcorn to snotty little 8-year olds, 30-year old Trekies who have yet to get a life, and couples so cute that I have to choke down my vomit when I look at them. Oh well, at least Paige is here to share in my misery.
"It could be worse," I mumble to myself… and, sure enough, Hazel appears just after I say this. And my misery is now complete.
Luckily Hazel completely ignores me, and instead just walks straight past the "Employees Only" sign and into the back room to find Paige (because, as we all know, rules don't apply to Princess Hazel… bitch). However Marco, who had been walking with Hazel, steps up to the counter to greet me with an unusually cheery grin plastered on his face. I have a strong urge to tell him to go fuck himself for being so happy while I'm stuck working, but I hold my tongue.
"Are you going to buy anything or just stand there looking like that guy from the Enzyte commercials?" I ask him 'politely' (it's important to put the customer first…).
"Actually, Hazel and I just came to pick up Paige after her shift ends," Marco says. "We're all going over to her house. We're going to-"
"To watch a marathon of dumbass chick flicks. I know. Paige invited me to come too."
I didn't think it was possible, but Marco's grin widened. "You should come!" He nearly squeals out in delight.
"You sound like you're at, like, a Cher concert or something," I say with disinterest
Marco slaps me on the arm playfully. "You know, you shouldn't make gay jokes Miss I'm- not-homophobic.-I'm-not.-I'm-really-not."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask him while really wishing a movie would start so I could tell Marco to leave so I could serve the customers. He was starting to push my buttons.
"It means that you should come out of the closet already. Everyone knows that you're gay."
What the hell! "I have no idea what you're talking about."
And who the hell is 'everyone'? For all I know, Marco's probably just using 'everyone' to refer to himself.
"Just admit it," he says. "Ellie and I figured it out. See, at first you were in denial so you were all homophobic and whatnot to prove, in your mind, that you weren't gay. Then, you finally started to admit to yourself that you were, in fact, gay, and that's why you got so upset when Paige called you homophobic the other day at lunch. Of course, you couldn't tell us why you got so upset because you didn't want to come out yet, especially with Paige there and all."
I can't think of anything to say to Marco's random outburst of retarded logic for a second. I eventually ask, "Wait, why would it matter if Paige was there or not?"
Marco grin widens even more, "Because you have a crush on her."
What. The. Fuck. Is Marco trying to piss me off? Because he's done it. "I am not gay and I certainly do not have a 'crush' on Paige! Since when do you call me gay?... Faggot."
Marco just looks me straight in the eye and says (still with a goofy grin on his face), "Whatever… dyke."
I'm right about to punch the stupid smile right off Marco's face when Hazel and Paige walk out of the back room of the theater. "Hey hun," Paige says to me, "are you sure you don't want to come over tonight? I promise you'll have fun." Hearing her voice and seeing her smile instantly puts me in a better mood.
"Okay." I decide to go. So maybe I do have a slight 'crush' on Paige… that still doesn't make me a lesbian or anything…
I look over to see that Marco's cheery grin has now transformed into a smug grin. I can almost read his thoughts. He thinks that his point has somehow just been proven… He's wrong though, because I'm not gay. I don't even know how he came up with that idea. It's ridiculous.
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Mine and Paige's shift ends at the Hell Whole (aka the movie theater) and we head out to Paige's house. "We" as in me, Paige, Marco and Hazel. Yeah… after about 30 seconds of being trapped in a car with Whorebitch: Queen of Boring-as-hell-land, I start to seriously reconsider my decision to spend the night at Paige's. Then, Paige laughs at some stupid comment I make and I immediately remember why I decided to subject myself to this impending torture to begin with… Jesus, she is fucking hot. Of course, any guy that has ever met her can tell you that. What they can't tell you is how stubborn she is. She has had put up with a lot of bullshit in her life, and she has always managed to pull out on top: strong as ever. I respect that.
So, I assume that I have been staring at Paige for a while now because I look over to see Marco looking back at me from the passenger seat with that stupid grin back on his face. I give him the finger and he just rolls his eyes, turns back around and starts talking to Hazel again. I'm pretty sure that they're having a heated debate on whether Orlando Bloom is hotter than Johnny Depp. If you ask me, Orlando Bloom is a faerie and Johnny Depp is just plain creepy. Therefore I could easily settle their argument: which one is hotter? Neither. Of course, I don't because that would involve talking to the Whorebitch. Instead I go back to listening to Paige talk. I kind of like how Paige never fucking shuts up; it gives me an excuse to stare at her (yeah, I definitely sounded like a stalker just there). So, I manage to spend practically the whole drive staring at Paige while only having to say "Yeah" and "Mmhmm" several times to seem like I'm paying attention.
When we reach her house, we decide –or should I say, Marco decides- that it would be fun to play a game before we watch the movies. I'm all for playing a game before watching any of the crap movies Hazel and Marco picked out… until Marco tells us which game he wants to play. Truth or Dare. Okay, if this kid is going to do what I think he's going to do, then he probably won't make it through this night alive.
"Alex, truth or dare?" he asks me. Yep, I am definitely going to be forced to kill him.
"Well, I'm not very good at telling the truth. So, I'm going to have to pick dare," I say smilingly. I'm 100 off the hook now: he can't ask me if I like Paige and he can't ask me if I'm gay. Score one point for Alex.
"Okay, then," Marco says with a glint in his eye. I'm starting to think I should have picked truth. "I dare you to kiss…" he's taking his time saying this –basking in his glory. Yes, I definitely should have picked truth. "…Paige."
Shit.
"Watch out Paige. You might get syphilis," Hazel says like that smartass that she is.
Paige just rolls her eyes at Hazel and looks over to where I'm sitting. "Um, hun, it's kind of hard to kiss a person when they're at the opposite side of the room," she says to me.
I try to look disinterested as I gradually get closer and closer to Paige. I finally reach her and I feel like I'm just about ready to pass out. Either that or piss myself. I lean in to meet Paige's lips and start both cursing and thanking Marco in my head. Only a few more centimeters…
Beep! Beep! Beep!
"Oh shoot!" Paige exclaims getting up to go to the microwave. The popcorn we had been heating up had burned. The fucking popcorn burned causing the fire alarm to go off. After Paige turns the alarm back off and heats up a new bag of popcorn we start watching movies. We never do get back to Truth or Dare.
Did I mention how much I hate popcorn?
