7- Have a Night of the Living Dead

Less than two hours ago I came over here to watch the game with Chad and, naturally, Chad passed out two minutes later. So now I'm sitting here watching the end of the game with Alex. And it's fucking killing me… I always thought I'd get another chance, ya know? I'd fuck around with other girls, screw things up completely, and then Alex would forgive me. We'd get back together. Maybe have a few kids wewouldn't be ableafford. A dog, too. And then we'd live happily ever after on our welfare checks in some cockroach infested apartment. A shitty dream, I know, but it was my dream. And now I now that it's never going to happen. Even when Alex was going out with that stuck up cheerleader, I still thought we had a chance. I thought maybe she was just fucking around with me like I fucked around with her –Alex never was the type to let things go. I thought maybe she was just going to even out the score before she came back to me. Of course, after her little declaration earlier tonight, I know that I never really stood a chance to begin with. Jay, I'm not bi. I'm not confused. I'm a lesbian, an actual lesbian. Jesus, please just kill me now and put me out of my misery...

"Hey freak," Alex says standing in front of me with her face maybe an inch away from mine, "The game's over." I snap out of my thoughts. "Where were you, Mars? I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes."

I push her away a little. I can't stand her being this close to me. It's like waving a bottle of rum in front of an alcoholic. "I was just thinking."

Alex walks over to a stack of overdue movie rentals by the T.V. "You were actually thinking? Trying something new?"

"Ha ha, very funny," I say as I get off the couch and head over to look through the movie rentals with Alex. (I guess I can't decide which is worse: Alex standing too close or Alex standing too far away.)

I pick up a movie from the very bottom of the stack. "The Notebook?" I ask laughing because seriously, what the fuck was Alex doing with The Notebook?

"Trust me, not my idea. Paige picked it out," Alex says pretending to find one of the movie covers fascinating. Avoiding eye contact: she's upset.

I lift her chin up a little so I can look her in the eye. "Sorry."

"Yeah, whatever. You already said that… Just pick out a movie, okay?" Bitchiness: she's still upset.

I really don't get why she's getting so worked up over that stupid cheerleader. What's so great about her anyway? I sigh and just put in the first movie I pick up –some retarded piece of shit horror movie probably made before my grandparents were even born. The only good part about it is that there's this half naked chick running around through almost the entire thing. "Damn! That chick is hot," I comment as the chick takes her shirt off. I turn my head to see Alex giving me a funny look. "What? We're friends now, right? Friends talk about girls." Alex just rolls her eyes. "What? You're a big lesbo now, right? So, talk about girls," I don't mean to sound like a smartass when I say this, but I can't help it.

Alex glares at me for a second and then does exactly what I asked her to. She talks about girls. She talks about girls straight through the rest of the goddamn movie just because she knows that it's bothering me. When the movie ends, she goes back over to the stack of movie rentals by the T.V., but this time I'm too pissed off to follow her.

"Hey, how about we watch this one now," she says holding up another horror movie that looks as old as shit, "I'm pretty sure there's this one part in it where this one chick is topless for a good five minutes."

That's it. I can't take it anymore. "Alright, Alex, you're gay, I get it! Now, could you please shut the fuck up!"

Alex puts the movie she had in her hand into the VCR and sits back down on the couch. Then, as casually as ever, she says, "You're the one who wanted me to talk about girls."

I glare at her. "Yeah, well you didn't have to do it for a whole fucking hour!" I shout. Then, I add a lot softer, "You're gay. Fine. Could you please just stop rubbing it in?"

She looks over at me, but she doesn't look pissed-off. She looks more… concerned? Confused? I can't tell. I've never seen this expression from her before. (It's not like we were ever sentimental or whatever back when we were dating.) "What do you mean by 'rubbing it in'?" Alex asks.

"Nothing," I say trying to end the conversation.

Of course, Alex is the same stubborn bitch that she always was so she presses on. "You don't still have a thing for me, do you?"

"No."

"Liar."

"Could you just fuck off!" There. The topic is officially closed. I sit back and try to concentrate on the movie. After awhile, it gets kind of boring though. This movie is pretty much exactly like the last one. The only noticeable difference is that in the last one the chick was running away from a werewolf. In this one the chick is running away from zombies. Same exact premise though –some chick is running through the woods, losing various pieces of clothing on her way. I'm guessing that my man Chad picked them out. He's one hell of a guy, but he really needs to learn how to treat Emily right. I saw him hit her once while he was wasted and I felt like just beating the shit out of him right then. I couldn't though –at the time I was about ten times more wasted than he was. Anyway, the movie is almost over now and Alex hasn't said a word about-

"If you don't have a thing for me, then why does it bother you so much that I'm gay?" I knew it was too good to be true.

"I'm not in the mood for another argument," I say, avoiding the question.

"Fine, justanswer me and there won't be one."

"No."

"Just tell me."

"No!"

"Just-"

"Fine!" I shout, "You really want to know the truth? The truth is that it kills me that we're over. Damn it, Alex, everyday you spent with little miss perfect hurt me –more and more. But it was okay. I could deal with it because, in my mind, we still had a chance. You'd go the gay way with the cheerleader to get your revenge and then you'd come back to me. I had it all planned out... Honestly? I've been waiting for this day for months… but now… now, I know that it's really over. And it sucks." Alex scoots over from the opposite end of the couch to the side that I'm sitting on. I close my eyes expecting to get a punch in the face, and instead feel Alex's lips on my cheek. She then wraps my arm around her and leans her head against my shoulder. For the few minutes before the movie ends, it's just like old times. Except, back then neither one of us would be crying.

When the movie ends Alex gets up to put another one in –giving me some time to wipe away my tears and pretend that I hadn't cried. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation. "Another dumb ass horror movie?" I ask Alex when she sits back on the couch –back on the opposite end of the couch.

"Attack of the Killer Shrews."

"Why the fuck did you ever rent that in the first place?"

Alex shrugs and we watch the movie. This one is the dumbest yet.

"What the hell? It looks like a five year-old made this," Alex comments after a particularly lovely scene involving a stuffed animal and two grown men running like pussies out of fear. Alex was right, my kid sister could have done a better job than this.

"Whatever. At least there's a hot chick in it like in all of these shit movies... And talking about hot chicks, did you see Hazel yesterday? Damn, she is hot."


Notes to reader: Again, I couldn't get the ending just right. I had to include the Hazel comment from Jay to lead into Jayzel, but I couldn't find the right spot to put it... Anyway, the next chapter will (probably) be the last and will be written in Marco's POV. It'll take place right after "High Fidelity" Part 2. Oh -and if you didn't know- Emily (who Jay mentions in the middle of this chapter) is Alex's mom. Her name is mentioned during "Lexicon of Love" Part 1:

Paige: Looks like the party's just getting started Ms. Nunez.

Ms. Nunez: Please, call my Emily.