-
.Dire Clandestine: The Tale of a Quixotic Love Affair
by: The Inflated Taco
o4: Odd Situation
-
-
-
She clenched her eyes shut, hoping with all her might her father was just an illusion. How could this happen? She whipped her head up towards the dock to see her father already on the last step of the ladder.
This was not good.
Jack Sparrow leaped into the shoddy rowboat and turned around with such taut; creating so much tension that Will feared what was to come. None of this had been his fault! He had merely followed the misleading beauty in hopes of befriending her….Instead he had managed to himself cornered in a small boat with the girl's hand rubbing his thigh and tongue running down his rugged cheek. But it's not like he could tell Jack his darling daughter did that to him.
"Jack!" he said, his voice coming out a few notes higher, "Really…it's not what you think!"
The captains eyebrows shot up and an intimidating grin tore at his lips, "And what is it ye' thinks me thinkin' goin' on here'?"
Will drew his arms up in front of him weakly as Jack neared him. He nervously stole a glance at Catalonìa who blew him a silent kiss. What a malicious child! He took a deep, self-assuring breath and turned his attention back to Jack, "You think that I…that I…"
How on earth could he find the words to say that she was the one who had him pinned against the side of the boat and was teasing him with immense skill? How could he even manage to say that what Jack was thinking was that some passionate reckless actions were taking place between his daughter and him? Even though it was most definitely untrue, he couldn't. So he did the next best thing: he kept silent.
"So what is it ye' was doing?" Jack questioned again as he tilted his head and tugged at the ends of his beard, "Because if ye' was doing what me most terribly fear think ye' was doin' to me poor virgin daughter…ye'd leave me no choice but to painfully punish ye' for ye'r immoral actions"
Jack took a step nearer to Will so that their faces were only centimeters apart, "And ye' have the impudence to call yeself' a good Christian man"
Jack looked up towards the dock to Mr. Gibbs who stood there stiff as a plank with his mouth partly open, "Gibbs! Does it look to ye' like Will ere' was takin' full advantage of me deary' luv's naïveté will the opposite sex!"
Will's mouth dropped. Naïveté? This girl…naïve?
Mr. Gibbs stood there awkwardly fiddling with the tie to his coat as he thought of the most appropriate thing to say. But before a single syllable could be uttered by Gibbs, Will spoke.
This was on his behalf…a very bad move.
"I was NOT taking advantage of your daughter! I had only gone to her simply to properly introduce myself."
"Properly introduce ye'self?" he chuckled as he took a step back to crane his neck up to look at Mr. Gibbs, "Ye' hear that, Gibbs? Properly introduce his' self… Har, is that what ye' squalid townies are callin' it now a' days?"
"I would never do such a thing to her!" Will said looking slightly taken aback, "Yes, even though I have devoted the rest of my years to the punishable life of piracy I do set my boundaries! Making a pass at 16 year old girls just happens to be one of the things I'd never do in a right state of mind no matter how seductive she…"
Bad move.
Jack's eyes bulged out as Will ended his ethical speech. His baby girl…seducing? Will should have definitely reworded what he had just said. For some reason that had sounded much better in his head than it had when he said it. (Dontcha' just hate when that happens?) Catalonìa swallowed back a throaty laugh as she saw complete mortification drain the color in Will's face.
"Ye' thinks me deary luv' is seductive?" he inquired slowly, adding livid emphasis on the last word. He placed his rough hand on Will's shoulder, "Could ye' really think such wicked, ill-minded thoughts about a child, Will?"
She rolled her eyes at that comment. Her? A child?
Will's eyes slid to the side so that he could get a final look at the being that would be the cause of him receiving immense physical pain.
She looked up at him from her bench through thick curled lashes; her lips were pursed as she bit back a devilish grin. She shifted in her seat, bringing her arms to the back of the wooden bench as to flash Will quite a bit of cleavage. This was no child.
Before his attention returned to Jack, he saw her raise her delicate little gloved hand to give him a final wave. And then…
Splash!
He was in the oceans cold water with a sharp pain dowsing his head and blood traveled down his nose to mix in the with the salty water. He paddled his way towards the boats edge and held on while his head cleared.
And just as quick as Jack had punched Will in the face, he turned back as though nothing a bit outlandish had happened. Jack looked up noticing the pirates who had come to the port had returned to the docks.
"So shall we be heading back to the Pearl?" he asked as with overdone enthusiasm as he pumped his fist into the air. Most of the men just stood on deck with perplexed and compassionate expressions on their grimy faces. With a scowl on his lips Jack bellowed, "What's with ye' bunch of sullied seadogs! If ye' dun' wish ter' come back to the Pearl then ye' can walk halfway across this blasted city to get back on board!"
The crew exchanged glances before all nodding in unison, "Eye"
-
-
-
Cannons and muskets sounded through the night air.
Catalonìa sat cross legged on her bed teasing at Jack with a golden trinket filled with peanut butter. She looked out her bedroom window, out at the scene playing out before her. Even from this far away she could see the Black Pearl's crew tormenting the residents of Port Royale. When the bright flashes flickered as the Pearl bombarded the port she could see the people running madly through the town away from the cold hearted pirates. During raids like these she'd remember that the men who had over time learned to steer clear of her where dangerous brutes who would have probably already had their way with her if not for her father's status.
A tug at the toy brought her out of her trance. She looked down at Jack who was sitting on his haunches yanking at the toy with all his might. He tugged harder and slapped at her hands in frustration.
She frowned and let go of the toy, "What crawled up your arse?"
Jack jerked his head up to give her a final growl before furiously gnawing at the toy to claim it as his own. She stared blankly at the monkey for quite some time as she watched little Jack furiously inhale the peanut butter while thoughts of her father drifted about in her head. She thought back of the day they had met, how she had been a shy little thing in dire need of an actual loving parent.
And she got one.
The instant her little dirty hands had wrapped themselves around his neck back in the Mexico she knew there would never be another person in her life as great as her father, Captain Jack Sparrow. She furrowed her perfectly tweezed eyebrows and fell back onto the bed with a loud groan as she thought of the other important person in her fathers life.
"And what of this toad William Turner?"
Roughly, she grabbed the monkey and sat him on her stomach. Jack just looked at her shut his eyes and yawned seeming most uninterested in the topic.
"He is quite boring isn't he?" she questioned as she scratched the back of the monkeys fuzzy little head, "I bet right now that arse' is with my father getting drunk off their asses. I hope they all awaken tomorrow with the worst hangovers of their life."
She tossed her head back and her eyes once looked out the window, and what she saw slightly confused her.
Port Royale was nowhere to be seen.
And she hadn't even felt the boat begin to move.
She got off the bed making her way to the window. When she saw nothing but open water in every general direction a pout pulled at the corners of her lips and she angrily drew the curtains. This was not fair! Yes, she knew that the raid was to take place tonight…but just the feeling of knowing that she'd be trapped on a ship for weeks at a time that got to her.
With her hands crossed over her chest, she heatedly turned back to her bed. Only, when she turned back she noticed that her only faithful buddy had gone off, leaving her completely alone.
Stupid undead monkey.
-
-
-
At this particular moment there could've only been one word that described what Will Turner was…
Drunk.
He'd never been much of a drinker; in fact he never really acquired the unpleasant taste of alcohol. But that night seemed to be most suited to reckless and indulging behavior. So he drank.
As Port Royale received a merciless beating at the hands of pirates he simply watched while he leaned against the Pearl's railing with a crusty bottle of aged rum in hand. As the town's buildings took the onslaught of cannons he couldn't really help but let a sad smile twist at his lips.
After everything that damned town put him through, all the pain; the loves, the losses, the lack of appreciation, the heartbreak….He felt such sadistic glee as he watched all his inner sorrows shower the town in the form of his comrades crew.
This was too good.
What he'd give to march into that port, sword in hand and pistol resting on his belt and climb up the steps to Norrington's manor. Oh, he'd have that mans heart bleed just as his was doing now.
A sharp pain in his fingers drew him out of his vengeful thoughts. He had been grasping the railing too hard. He looked at the ends of his nails and tips of his fingers; they were horribly splintered. In his state there was no way he'd manage to remove them. Hell, he couldn't even see too straight.
He shook his head. How could he even be thinking such horrid things? If Elizabeth knew what thoughts had been jumping about in his head a few moments ago she's surely have been disappointed in him.
Elizabeth…
He took another swing of the nearly empty bottle as an image of her hauntingly beautiful face resurfaced in the back of his mind.
Alas, it seemed the rum was having effects opposite to those he had hoped for. Instead of drowning out the love that had left him, it seemed to multiply his sorrows.
When the bottle was empty he angrily hurled it into the endless sea. He staggered his way down the steps to where the cabin that should've gone to Mr. Gibbs was. Only Mr. Gibbs didn't seem much to care much for the room because he never used it so it had become the storage for the princess's spring dresses.
He reached a slightly ajar door, presuming it to be his because there was only this one and another he assumed was locked. He entered the room and would have realized it were not his had he been in a clearer state of mind.
The room was being kept lit by a cinnamon scented candle burning on the nightstand. Will slowly managed to make himself to the immensely cushioned bed. He let himself fall onto the mass of comforters, sheets and feathered pillows.
This was a mistake…
The moment his drunken body collapsed into the sheets he felt something lumpy and warms start writhing beneath him. It took him a while to realize that this squirming thing was also making an attempt to scream from under the ocean of sheets.
His eyes started to feel too heavy to keep open and awareness would have left him had the squirming thing under him not elbowed him hard in the groin.
With a groan he rolled onto his side and curled into a ball trying to recover from the painful blow. He felt the bed move slightly from under him but could have cared less as to the reason why because again he felt the need to shut his eyes.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing here!" a panicked voice shrieked from beside him.
He lazily opened one eye and saw what looked like an angel. Well, it could have been an angel had it not had this angry expression on its face. Then his other eye opened and he looked her up and down.
"You're really pretty" he slurred as his hazy eyes met with hers. "Ye' mad at me lil' fairy?"
She scoffed and drew her head back in detest, "What the hell were you drinking?"
Then a worried expression drowned out all her anger, "They didn't stumble upon certain herbs again did they? Damnit! I'm on a boat full of crewman on cloud 9!"
At this point he really wasn't paying much attention to the hullabaloo coming out of her mouth. His eyes traveled down her neck to her shoulders and it's just needless to say where they stopped. His dark eyes glazed over as every poignant thought of Elizabeth left his mind as the sudden urge to want to touch them struck him all at once.
But he felt too sluggish to move so instead he just lay there and watched as they danced around to the pointless noises she made and panicked waving of her hands. He wasn't sure how long he stayed there doing that before he felt her hand jerk his chin and her demanding voice dragged him out of his daze, "Look at me!"
"I'm lookin'…" he mumbled as his eyes shifted from her breasts to her face.
Her eyes squinted as to gain focus in the candlelight as she studied his face, "On deck, is my father smoking any odd smelling buds, leaved, stems?" she questioned as she snapped her hand back and brought it up to massage her temples, "I swear the last time he did…everything just became a mess. It's the last thing I need right now."
Everything she had just said only went in one ear and out the other because he didn't even seem to acknowledge her presence anymore. Instead his eyes rolled back in his head and he rolled over to his side.
He passed out…
Fantastic.
She drew her hand back and slapped him fiercely across the face, "Wake up and get the hell outta' my room you euro-trash toad!"
He only grunted in response.
"Fine" she reasoned as she brushed her dark disheveled hair behind her ear, "If you don't want to move on your own…I'll just have to do it for you."
With a cruel grin on her face she threw all of her weight forward, slamming with her open hands into Will's side.
This did nothing but cause yet another slothful grunt to surface from deep in his throat.
"Move!" she shrieked as she made yet another attempt at pushing the unconscious body off of her bed.
Nothing.
So again she rammed him in the side with all the strength she could muster.
And with an annoyed mumble he turned over onto his side.
To put it lightly, Catalonìa was angry. He ha the nerve to barge into her chambers in the middle of the night , pounce on her while she was asleep and then make room for his drunkard body on her bed.
This wasn't good.
What kind of girl would let some man lie with her in bed if they were not wed? A town whore that's who….and she was neither. What would her father think!
She grabbed a goose down pillow and released all her frustration on the drunk pirate. Blow after blow struck his back and head; feathers floated around the room and he didn't even seem to care.
When the pillow was nothing more but an empty purple sack she sighed and slumped beneath the sheets.
In the 11 hours she's come to know him she's come to the conclusion that this man, William Turner, was everything that she found annoying bundled up in one complete package.
And here this package lay, drunk as a skunk on her bed.
-
-
-
Hmm...after writing all this I have come to the conclusion that I like the word hullabaloo. I want to let ya'll know that I will be finishing this story…soon.
I'm so proud of myself this week I've updated all 3 of my stories! And I guess which ever I get the most reviews for will be the one I'll be updating sooner! DUH!
I hope this chapter wasn't too boring, I had fun writing it And I really want to thank my last reviewer who like slapped me in the face and made me remember that this story existed.
I luv' you all! C'mon drop me a line!
