FIC: Cleveland Calling (16?)

Angel sensed Faith's return as the beautiful Bostonian made her way up the drive. Surprised and worried by at the earliness of her return, he rushed to the front door, flinging it open just as she reached it. He shook his head when he spotted the black-haired man tossed over her shoulder. "Faith," he said through gritted teeth, "I know Xander can be difficult, but was there any reason to knock him out?"

"Thanks for the support, Deadboy."

His eyes widened as Xander appeared behind the Slayer. His eyes flicked back to the unconscious man. "Who?"

"I don't know," a smirking Faith replied, clearly she'd enjoyed his faux pas if neither he or Harris had. "But some vamps at the restaurant were wicked anxious to get their hands on him. We figured we best bring him back here."

"And he was reluctant so you knocked him out?" Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Jesus, no," replied the raven-haired Bostonian. "He fell through the window in this condition."

"Oh, sorry." Angel glanced behind him, conscious that the others had congregated there. "You best bring him in."

"Gee," Faith smirked. "Regular talent for pointing out the obvious haven't you?"

He ignored that remark in favour in stepping to one side. He cast the unconscious man an inquisitive glance as the Slayer passed by. His mouth dropped open. "Groo," he whispered.


"Glue," Faith was getting wicked confused. "Why do you need some glue? If we need to restrain him I've got some cuffs-," her voice trailed off at the others' looks at her. "What? Don't act like you're surprised!"

"Told you," Kate shot Xander an amused glance. Her date turned beetroot red.

Faith raised an eyebrow but decided to ignore whatever crap Xan and the cop had going on in favour of looking towards Angel. "What the hell are ya babbling on about glue for?" she demanded as she carried the man through to the lounge and carefully placed him on the couch.

"One time Cordy was sucked into the dimension Lorne came from -."

"Who?" queried Xander.

"Wicked cool demon with a sharp eye for fashion and a tight set of pipes," Faith replied. "I'll explain later. Go on, Angel."

"Me, Wes, Gunn, and Lorne went after Cordy into Pylea. When we found her, the demons who'd ruled the place had made her ruler on account of a prophecy about her visions-."

"A dimension where Cordy is ruler, already I'm terrified," Xander muttered. Faith snickered.

Angel joined Connor in briefly glaring at Xander before continuing. "But that was just a ruse to get her to mate with the Groosalug to get her visions and then control him, as their champion. Once they'd mated, they intended to kill Cordy."

"A demon dimension's champion?" Faith eyed the unconscious body. "Damn, I should have left the vamps to it." She shrugged. "Have to finish the job myself. One last bad guy."

Faith stepped towards the Groosalug. "No," Angel grabbed her arm at the bicep, "not bad, just indoctrinated."

"Say what?" Faith's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Brainwashed," Andrew put in. "Like Anakin Skywalker by Palpatine."

"Actually the situation with the Jaffa and the Goa'uld sounds closer to the mark -."

"Jesus," Faith broke into Xander and Andrew's discussion. "You two take a detour into Nerdsville in a minute, but the rest of us are trying to listen to Angel. Angel?"

The vampire nodded at her before continuing. "After we left and overthrew the demonic rulers, Groo was installed as the leader of Pylea. But a year or so later he was overthrown and came to this dimension looking for Cordy." Faith hid a grin at the jealous flicker in her mentor's eyes. "Him and Cordy were together for a while, but it didn't work out, and he left."

"What's he's doing in Cleveland?"

"I don't know, Dana," replied Angel, his tone exasperated. "He's unconscious. We can't actually ask him."

Dana nodded before walking out into the corridor. Faith joined the others in staring in puzzlement after the former mental patient. A few seconds later and she returned holding a kettle, the contents of which she promptly threw in the Groosalug's face, soaking him. "You can ask him soon."

"And I thought Faith was direct."

Faith ignored Kate's comment to watch the Pylean splutter awake. Angel said the dimensional traveller was on the level, but she took no chances around her girls. The man sprang to his feet, fists clenched only to relax when he saw Connor. "Greetings," the man bowed slightly at the waist, "Connor. It is unexpected to see you here."

"And you, Groo."

The stranger whirled around at Angel's voice. "Angel!" Faith blinked at the man's beaming smile, those teeth were so damn bright they could be used as runway lights. "It is good to see you!" the Pylean champion pumped her mentor's hand before glancing around. "And as always I find you surrounded by beautiful women. But where is the most beautiful of them, all, my princess?"

Faith snorted inwardly, yeah, C was hot, but next to her? Angel's expression turned uncomfortable. The vampire looked around the crowded room. "Can we have some privacy?"

After a moment Xander nodded. "Sure, let's go girls."

Faith shook her head. "I'm staying." Angel opened his mouth to protest, Faith just shook her head. "I'm staying." Angel said this dude could be trusted, but she didn't know him from shit, and no way was she just leavin' her mentor alone with him. Not when he was about to tell this stranger that the love of his life was dead.

"Me too," Connor said quietly. Angel looked towards his son. "I was part of it, dad. Perhaps an even bigger part than you."

"Right," Xander said. "Let's leave them to it, gang."


Groo listened dazedly as Angel explained what had happened to his princess. "But she died bravely?" he asked when the vampire had finished.

Angel's eyes were sad as he nodded. "She died bravely," the demon confirmed.

There was a long silence broken by the beautiful raven-haired girl he vaguely remembered from the restaurant before he passed out. "I'm sorry about your loss and all," the girl commented, "but we're kinda on the clock here. It'll be dawn in like five hours, and then Angel won't be able to go out. I figure we'd best get a hurry on. Why are you here?"

Groo shook himself, trying to push away the pain of his princess' death. "Since I left her two years ago I decided that I had to honour her principles of justice, bravery, and honour."

"Wait, we're still talking about Cordelia, right?"

"Faith," Angel's eyes hardened. "A little respect, please?"

The girl shrunk into herself. "Sure, sorry Angel."

After a glance at the full-bodied beauty, Groo continued on, bemused by the thought of someone who didn't adore his princess. "And so, I began hunting the demons that blighted this great country, hunting and killing them."

"Shit," Faith breathed. "He's like super-powered then?"

"Oh, he's super-powered," Angel confirmed. "I had difficulty beating him when we fought."

"Shit, Fang," Faith snorted. "I've kicked your ass plenty of times."

"Don't remind me," Angel grinned briefly before looking back him, his face serious again. "Go on, Groo."

Groo stared at the woman for a second, she was a warrior? Shaking his head, he continued. "A month ago, I heard a rumour that A Scarred Taint was being brought into the count-."


"Giles said A Scarred Taint is a receptacle of black magic power, very powerful, only one of three in the world," Xander reported as he hung up. "And that we should get it as soon as possible."

"It's just four hours until dawn," Angel put in. "We best hurry."

"K," Faith put in, "this is what we need-," the Slayer's voice trailed off. "Sorry, X, this is your show. Go for it."

"Thanks," Xander nodded uncertainly at the Slayer before continuing. "Seeing as Groo doesn't know who was receiving it, we'll have to do a sweep-through. Faith, Dana, you're with me. Angel, you take Conn, Breena, and Groo with you. The rest of you girls, you're with Amy and Kate. Any trouble or information, ring the others. Let's go."


"You gotta tell me," Dana whispered excitedly as they walked through Tremont, the vibrant area housing plenty of Cleveland's hottest entertainment spots still busy even the early morning. "Did he kiss you?"

"Kid," Faith grinned at the Slayer she regarded as her younger sister, "ya remember the part about our date being messed up by a flying body through the window, yeah?"

"But are you going on another date?" Faith paused for a second, her customary self-confidence failing her. The truth was she didn't know. Things had seemed to be going pretty well, but a little voice in her head kept telling her that X had only been putting a brave face on in the hope she'd be satisfied with one date. A great guy like X, he'd already had her once why would he wanna come back for seconds? He had to know he could do better. "Faith?"

"We're here," Faith breathed a sigh of relief at Xander's announcement ahead of them, the one-eyed Watcher having stopped in front of a rotting wooden door. Easing the door open, X led them down a dozen stone-hewn steps and into the smoke-filled cellar beneath.

The bar, which was using the term kinda loosely in Faith's opinion 'cause the place just had to be in breach of more than a dozen health regulations, was filled with the jukebox pounding out 'Sweet Home Alabama'. All other sound ceased at their entrance, the demons sat around the bar's tables all turning as one to face them. "Anyone know anything about A Scarred Taint in town?" Xander's voice broke the silence.

"100 grand for each of the Slayers dead," proclaimed a tall, reedy, one-eyed demon with gills and a snout, "leave the Watcher alive, I want to make boots from his hide."


"Faith has many of the qualities of my princess. Brave, principled, giving," Angel groaned inwardly as Groo continued to talk about the wonderfulness of Faith. Having one teenaged son was bad enough, but now Groo was acting like one with a crush. "And she is very beautiful-."

"Not wrong," Angel muttered in agreement as he gazed around, eyes skirting the outline of the bar they were approaching for any sign of a trap.

"I am thinking I would very much like to make with the sex with her." Angel's vampire agility totally escaped him. Tripping over a slightly upraised pavement tile, he would have fallen to the ground but for a hand grabbing him by the elbow, steadying him. "Does a vampire's balance fail them when they get older, Angel?"

Angel straightened and glared at Groo, pulling loose of the Groosalug's grip. "No, and for the record, not that old." Angel turned to his son. "And you can shut up too."

"Me?" his boy leaned against a lamppost, tears of laughter rolling down his face. "I'm saying nothing."

After a frustrated snarl, he turned back to the Groosalug. "Thing is, Groo, she's with Xander."

"Xander?" the hybrid's brow furrowed in concentration. "But he is not a warrior worthy of such a champi-."

"That's it!" he heard a furious-sounding Breena scream. "I'm gonna kick his fooking arse!"

Spinning around, he grabbed hold of his compatriot around the waist as she lunged at a bemused-looking Groo. "Connor!" he glared at his still laughing son, neck bulging with the effort of restraining the fiery red-head. "Some help here!"

"You seem to be handling things just fine." Despite his words, Connor took a hold of the Irish Slayer's shoulders and guided her back, various Gallic swear-words he hadn't heard in generations flying out of the red-head's mouth.

"Thank you," he turned back to the earnest-looking Groo. "I know how things worked in Pylea," he didn't actually, but he could guess. "But here things work differently. It doesn't matter how many fights you've won or how many horses you own, just that you make your partner happy."

"And Xander, he makes Faith happy?"

"Yeah," Angel nodded. "I guess he does." His brow furrowed when his phone started ringing.


"You know!" Xander yelled to her. "If he gets here in time, I'll never call him Deadboy again."

"I'll hold you to that!" Faith shouted back as she threw a Gardaz over the bar counter and into the drinks cabinet behind it. Glass shattered under the impact and the demon crashed to the ground.

"So will I," Angel said as he strode down the steps. "Faith," he shook his head, "starting a fight without me, I'm hurt, I expected better of you. Xander, not so much."

"You're a vampire!" screamed a Golup, a tall, green-scaled demon with two lower arms that ended in claws and two upper arms that ended in six-digited hands. "You shouldn't be on their side!"

Angel smiled. "Are you new in town?" he queried. "Only I'm Angel," the Golup's three eyes widened, "ah, you've heard of me. That makes this easier." Drawing his throwing axe from under his leather jacket, he threw it at the Golup. His throw flew straight, embedding itself in the demon's head, knocking him flat. "I'm thinking on balance we should kill them all."

A Tusked-Darlithan charged him, its head bowed so that its mammoth horn led the way. Angel glided away from the head-long rush, grabbed the demon around its thick neck, took a hold of its horn, and yanked. The monster screeched as its horn snapped off, a shower of viscera spurting out.

Releasing the now deceased demon, Angel leapt into the air and snapped off a back-heel kick. His blow connected with a satisfying crunch, catching an onrushing Troika in the middle of its three heads and propelling it back into the mob. Spinning around, Angel ducked under a fellow vampire's wild haymaker before decapitating him.

Ten minutes later and it was all over, the arrival of Amy and Kate's team just about finishing off the fight. All the demons bar one had either fled, been killed or knocked unconscious.

The exception was a one-eyed demon with gills and a snout being held aloft by an enraged looking Faith. "Ya think ya can put a fucking bounty on mine and my sister's heads?" The demon gasped as Faith's hands squeezed even tighter.

Deciding that he almost felt sorry for his fellow demon, Angel spoke up. "Faith if he's got information he can't spill it if he's dead." Picking up an unbroken bottle of Jack Daniels, perhaps the only unbroken bottle left in the demolished bar, Angel walked over to the duo, also picking up one half of a pool cue and a ball on the way. "Put it down."

"K," Faith threw the demon to her right. Penda and Dae had to quickly scurry out of the demonic projectile's way en-route to it crashing into the wall and falling to the sawdust covered floor, the dart board that had been fastened onto the wall dropping onto the demon's head.

"See, Faith's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll," Angel drove the jagged end of the cue into the demon's side. The demon shrieked and shuddered.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Faith enquired.

"It's from 'The Glimmer Man'," Xander informed the beautiful Slayer. "I'm just surprised he watches Stephen Segal."

"He's better than Dolph anyway," Connor put in.

"You're too young to be watching that sort of film," he reprimanded as he twisted the pool cue in the demon's side.

"Hello, Destroyer?" his son shot back.

"Don't remind me," he replied.

"Can we get back to your interrogation?" Kate said, her voice more than a little bit queasy.

"Ach, lassie," Angel poured some of the JD into the demon's side, the flesh bubbled and the air filled with the smell of burning flesh, "this is just me having fun. Although, if our friend here was willing to share, I might get distracted and forget all about him."

"I arranged for the The Scarred Taint to be brought to Cleveland!" the demon shrieked. There's an auction going on a Morton & Murray's, right now!"

"Damn it," Angel grimaced. He knew the auction house by reputation, they were the occult world's premier dealers and a subsidiary of Wolfram & Hart. If they were involved, there'd be a lot of heavy players bidding on the item, and a lot of security too. "Well thanks," he pulled the cue out before kicking the demon in the head, knocking it out. "Let's go."


Angel looked towards his troops, his original group of himself, Groo, Connor, and Breena bolstered by the addition of Amy and Kate's group. "If it's demon," he announced as he strode through the wood-panelled reception area, casually elbowing the guard to the ground, "kill it. Remember, they're allowed to run to the back, but no-one gets past us. Kate, you, Penda, and Dae take up position here," Angel shoved aside the lilac drapes that led into the auction hall itself, a hand-woven rung covering its floor. Over three dozen mostly occupied chairs sat facing the raised stage. "And make sure nobody gets past."

His orders given, Angel vamped out, grabbed the wrist of a security guard aiming a gun at him and twisted. Bone snapped, the man screamed, and Angel put him down with a right heel kick to the face that sent teeth and blood flying. Another guard charged him, stake thrusting upwards. Angel sidestepped the attack before clothes lining the man to the ground, a side-kick to the head putting the man out of commission. Seeing another guard sighting his gun on an oblivious Breena, he picked a priceless Ming vase off a nearby stone podium and flung it at the man. The guard's eyes widened as he saw the object hurtling towards him, but failed to duck, catching the object full on the side of his head. "Fish, barrel, comes to mind right about now," he muttered.


"You hear that, Dan?" Dana nodded. "Yeah," Faith smirked, "they're coming." Fang's plan had worked, they'd bottlenecked the auctioneers. The Scarred Taint was the most valuable thing on sale, so naturally they'd grabbed it and headed for the back entrance, hoping to escape.

Instead, Faith glanced left and right, she was in the narrow back alley with X and Dana waiting-. Suddenly the plain red door swung open. The shaven-headed man who stepped through it was beyond massive, maybe a couple of inches shy of seven foot with the sort of build only lots of steroids and working out got you. The man snarled, his flat and repeatedly broken nose, Faith figured she'd hate to meet the asshole tough enough to punch this guy square in the noggin, flaring, and threw a bowling-ball sized right straight at her head.

Faith ducked, grabbed the man's arm, and yanked him towards her. Her eyes widened when the man just leaned back and pulled her towards him. "Fucker's strong," she realised.

Deciding to go with it, she allowed momentum to carry her hurtling towards the giant. Ducking a left hook aimed at her head, she twisted the man's wrist and kicked up into his groin. The man gurgled as his wrist snapped and croaked as her foot thudded into the crotch area of his business suit.

Face greying, the man fell to his knees. Before he had chance to wheeze his way to recovery, Faith karate chopped him on the back of his tank-like neck. The ox of a man slumped onto his face with a final gasp.

"Got it." Faith turned around to find Dana sitting on a second, much smaller man and a smirking Xander holding a statue of a pentagram carved from gleaming Obsidian with a silver eye in the centre of it stood on a wooden pedestal.

"That's great, X," Faith shuddered. She couldn't help but get a feeling of the 'heebie-jeebies' from it. "Let's find the others and get out of here."


Xander grinned as he hung up the phone and picked up his soda can. "It's settled, G-Man has arranged for the plane to take the Scarred Tainted back to Tweed-Land. He's also offered you," the young man glanced towards Groo, "a job as a trainee Watcher, if you're interested."

Groo looked towards Angel for guidance. After a second, he nodded. Whatever his own personal issues with Giles, the Englishman was a good and honourable man. "You'll be doing invaluable work, Groo."

"Then I will go," Groo bowed slightly and smiled before looking towards Faith. "It has been a pleasure meeting you Mistress Faith. I would very much like to make with the sex with you," Faith's cupid-shaped mouth dropped open. "But Angel has informed me you are promised to Xander and so I will not press my claim."

Xander's eyes widened as he gurgled deep in his throat. He coughed then snorted, coke fountains spurting out of his mouth and nose as the youth reddened and struggled for air.

"Xander might need the kiss of life," Connor commented. "It looks like he's choking."

"Well I'm not giving it him," Angel muttered.

Connor paused for a second. "No, I'm not that bothered either."


"He just about beats out Clem for the weirdest person I've ever met," Xander declared as they watched the jet containing both Groo and The Scarred Taint fly off into the brightening sky. "And Clem, technically not a person."

"Telling me that he had wanted to make the sex with me until he realised I was with you was a moment to savour," Faith commented with a smirk. "So was your face."

"Yeah," Xander laughed. "The guy wasn't exactly subtle was he?"

"G's gonna have his hands full that's for damn sure," Faith turned to leave only to stop when X grabbed her forearm.

"Wait," the man licked her lips. "I…I was enjoying myself tonight until Groo appeared. I'd sorta like to do it again," the man coughed, "if you're inter-."

All at once she was holding his face in her hands, pressing her lips to his as she eagerly worked her tongue into his mouth. Pulling away when a lack of oxygen became an issue, she ran her fingers down Xan's awestruck face before leaning into him and whispering in his ear. "That answer ya question for ya?"


Andrew's door swung open as she was raising her hand for the sixth impatient knock. "Yo Andy-," her voice trailed off as she registered what the diminutive cook was wearing, "Star Trek PJs? Where in the he-, forget it," she shook her head, "don't wanna know."

"Why are you here?" Andrew looked at the computer. "Only I was rpging in a new RTS D&D MMORPG on-line!"

Faith stared at the young man, wondering if there was any way of translating that to human. Deciding again she didn't want to know, she shook her head. "All that training I've done with you, its payback."

"Payback-," the youth gulped.

Faith entertained herself watching Andrew's Adam's Apple do a nervous dance for a few seconds before putting the young man out of his misery. "Relax, Andy," she chuckled, "I just wanna ya to teach me about sci-fi and stuff."

"Why?"

Faith shrugged, uncomfortable with admitting just how important this was to her. "X is really into it, but except for the Star Wars films, I know shit about it. I could research it myself, but I kinda looked on the internet earlier today, and there's so much of it." Talk about geek-overload, she'd broken a brain cell and halved her coolness level in a quick five minutes. "I don't have a clue about which bits he's into. And when ya and him were talking about Jaffas and Goa'uld, I was lost."

Andrew nodded. "Much to learn, you have. Owww!" Andrew held his ear where she'd flicked it. "What did you do that for?"

"Cut the pseudo-Yoda crap, I'm serious about learning this shit," Faith instructed, "so no messing about, ya dig?"

Andrew nodded before speaking in the nearest to a bass he could reach. "Indeed."

Faith stared suspiciously at the youth before flicking his other ear. Andrew jumped and rubbed his ear. "I just know from the dumbass deep voice ya were puttin' on some sci-fi char. Now spill. What is X into?"

"Um, I could sort out some of my DVDs for you."

Faith shuddered. "Yeah, that'd be great." Harris better have improved in the sack, all the effort she was putting into him.