Note: First draft of this was 3,000 words. Every time I come back to it, I end up adding more. No longer!

As you may know, this fic is a companion piece of sorts to my other story, You've Got Time. I've gotten enough things nailed down that I'm confident in starting its replacement, Till It's Over! Go check it out. Or don't. I can't tell you what to do.


And I will say that we should take a day to break away
From all the pain our brain has made, the game is not played alone
And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it
And keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone

Migraine – Twenty One Pilots


Message Log C6AJ2869

20_05_2952

09:22

C6: It's just for two weeks.

AJ: Two weeks!

C6: The Queen sent home the last Emissary, and we're scrambling for a replacement.

AJ: Why me? I cannot think of a worse person for this. Literally. I am the worst person for this job.

C6: Not true. We could send Asher Mir.

AJ: Okay. Second worst person.

C6: It's just a temporary thing until we can get a more long-term replacement.

AJ: Why me, though?

C6: You owe me a favor.

AJ: Surely someone owes Ikora a favor, or something?

C6: The Queen said she wanted someone…

C6: Interesting.

AJ: You know, the more I hear that word, the more it sounds like an insult.

C6: Listen, all you gotta do is pull some vague time mumbo-jumbo B.S. and then keep out of everyone's hair for two weeks.

AJ: 'Time mumbo-jumbo B.S.'?

C6: That whole thing. "I cannot explain, as a sphere cannot explain to a circle. The Vault exists outside of linear time, outside of your comprehension." Mara Sov will eat that up. She's into incomprehensible stuff.

AJ: I'm not sure if I want to make acquaintances with the Awoken Royalty.

C6: Keep out of their notice and you'll be fine.

AJ: And the Reef's kinda…

C6: What?

AJ: Small.

C6: I'm sure you'll find some way to pass the time-

AJ: Don't.

C6: -As much as time can pass, anyway, from a perspective such as yours. Standing outside the stream, how does one understand the movement of a locked progression?

AJ: You're making it sound like I'm a Warlock.

C6: I'll bring that up to Ikora. Maybe not a Praxic Warlock, but a Thanatonaut, maybe? One of the spooky ones.

AJ: I still don't see why-

C6: Because you owe me. And I'm asking you.

C6: Please? We're kinda desperate here.

AJ: … Fine.

C6: Whew!

AJ: But you better have something pretty good lined up for me when I get back.

C6: No worries. I have some irons in the fire.

C6: All we need is for you to go two weeks without causing a diplomatic incident. Can you do that?


May 21, 2952, 12:25; The Reef, Inner System Space

Not causing a diplomatic incident was not as easy as it sounded.

Azra let the Awoken military direct her flight path into the Reef. She docked where they told her to dock, walked where they told her to walk. She even removed her helmet and put away (most of) her weapons as they demanded. It chafed, but it was easy. There were concrete rules.

Usually the edginess of new places was softened by the comforting weight of ordinance or the smooth blanket of stealth, or at the very least a few familiar Lights at her back. Even If this wasn't exactly hostile territory, she had no allies, no weapons besides her knife, nowhere to hide from the two Corsairs who escorted her through the Reef. She walked to the Queen's audience chambers unarmed, watched, and alone.

Or at least she walked up to the Queen's audience chambers. There were two more Awoken guarding the doors. They moved to block the entrance as Azra approached.

"Queen Mara Sov is busy. You will have to wait," one of them said. Stiff formality with the faintest veneer of a threat.

Azra did her best not to roll her eyes. Of course the Queen was busy. Why wouldn't she be busy at the time Azra was scheduled to introduce herself? And of course there was no sitting room in the antechamber. Azra's two escorts didn't leave. The two Corsairs at the door did not budge, either, leaving Azra boxed in.

It grated at her nerves. They would have been much better off sending someone who didn't see all the danger in the world. It was raising hairs on the back of her neck. The Corsairs had their shielded eyes and she had her face laid bare. She was surrounded, unarmed save for a knife.

And the Light, she reminded herself. That brought a bit of comfort. Even without weapons, she could easily take down the guards. She could have the Staff in her hand in a millisecond and then-

The escort to her left stiffened. Azra felt herself stiffen in response, and suddenly there was a sharp edge of actual danger in the air. Azra cursed herself for forgetting. The official dossier on the Awoken didn't mention it, but rumor was they could smell intention. Contemplating how easily she could kill everyone around her was not something she should be doing.

"I'm sorry!" Azra said suddenly (too suddenly, too loud). The Corsairs flinched. Azra breathed, slowly raised her hands, and tried again, gentler. "I'm sorry. I should be watching myself. I'm used to… hostile environments. It's a habit. I'm not going to hurt anyone."

Great start to her 'not causing diplomatic incidents' career.

Whether the Awoken believed her or not, the doors to the Queen's audience chambers opened. The two door guards straightened and holstered their weapons. Azra didn't need any encouragement from the guides behind her to leave the small room.

She took in the chamber in a glance. The larger space soothed her feelings of being surrounded- though it was replaced by the slightest hint of vertigo. The walkways were suspended over the void and had no guardrails. At least Azra felt more irony than dread considering the possibility of falling off. (She'd never hear the end of it.)

The Sovs quickly caught her attention and held it. Both Mara and her brother Uldren stood in the place of honor at the center of the chamber. The long walk from the door gave plenty of time to take each other in. Azra managed to remember herself this time and stow away feelings of irritation. She settled on a respectful neutrality. It was the best she was going to muster with the way Uldren was glaring.

She spared a few seconds for the Fallen guards. They set her on edge more than anything else in the room, though Azra knew she'd have even less trouble with them than the Corsairs-

She remembered where she was and dismissed the thoughts. This was not a place of violence.

Though a dangerous one nonetheless. Mara Sov looked at her with too much interest in her eyes. Azra didn't know if her careful-still face was a formality, if she knew she was showing curiosity, or if Azra's Lightsense actually gave her a leg up on the Awoken Queen.

Safe not to assume anything. Azra pushed all of the distractions (the Corsairs still tense behind her, the drop-off to her sides, the Fallen poised ready, Uldren making no attempt to hide his disdain) and dipped her head in respect.

"Queen Mara Sov. My name is Azra Jax. This is Spark." The introduction of her Ghost was not a standard formality, she knew, but too bad. He was just as much a part of the mission as she was. "The Vanguard sent me," she explained.

"I am well aware of your purpose here," Mara said in a bored-sounding voice. "Are you?"

Azra realized again how terrible she was for this position. Not just because she didn't like small, crowded spaces like the Reef or because she didn't have the smoothness of a diplomat. She was an unflinchingly honest person. To her dismay, she could see in Mara Sov's eyes that the Queen did not want blatant truths. Mara played games in which honesty would be forfeiting a match. She'd gotten bored of the straight-laced Titan and his bullheadedness. Now here was a shrewd and wily Hunter.

Shrewd, maybe, wily, no. Azra detested playing with people's feelings. She'd much rather appeal to common ground and be open with herself. But Cayde had sent her here to engage with the royalty, not flip over their game board and call it dumb.

She'd waited too long. Prince Uldren shifted predatorily, grabbing Azra's focus. "Queen Mara asked you a question, Guardian," he said in a way that made it sound like an insult. "Why should we bother with you?"

There were literally a million things she could say. Azra tried her best to channel her inner Tevis. She eyed the two Awoken for another long moment, weighing truths. "I suppose I'm older than you," she said.

And she meant it. She could look Uldren in the eye, not knowing anything about his origins, and know she was older. She was older than both of them. Olden than the whole Reef combined. Her age swallowed rational numbers, at least from some perspectives.

"Interesting," the Queen mused.

"That's why I'm here," Azra said, performing a little bow and trying to keep the mocking out of her voice, if not her head. "I'm no diplomat, but at least I'm interesting."

"So the Vanguard saw fit to send you," Uldren hissed. He stepped down from the dais with harmful intentions in his stance. "Not a true Emissary, but a curiosity. A plaything."

Azra was sure her lips twitched at that comment. She never had much pride, but being called a 'thing' stung. She didn't dare open her mouth for fear of what would come out. Probably something scathing and very un-diplomatic.

She closed her eyes and focused on how the world shone in her other senses: Uldren's bootsteps on the floor, the tinge of ozone and Ether on the slightly stale air, the complex and glimmering currents of Light and Dark reflecting off the room's occupants. Uldren was bleeding insecurity everywhere. Mara was oddly detached, barely causing ripples in the tides.

If Azra were here on her own behalf, she'd probably choose the spite over calm. Her first instinct was to fling spite right back at Uldren. But, as she had to keep remembering, she wasn't here for herself. She drew on the icy peace of the Void and opened her eyes. Uldren's face still held contempt, Mara's eyes still drilled into her soul. She found it in herself to not care.

"If a curiosity is all you see, Prince Uldren, then I doubt there's much I can do to change your mind," Azra said evenly. "And whatever our purpose here is, it isn't to have an argument with you."

There was a moment of silence. Azra successfully ignored the Fallen guards and the Prince's indignation and focused instead on the Awoken Queen.

She still lounged, unmoved by the small play before her. Azra was reminded-


Azra watched the water with half-lidded eyes. Small fish strived against the current, darting between rocks and submerged branches. Azra could catch and eat them, she knew. She took pleasure in the thought that she didn't need to. She wasn't hungry. She could sit and watch them in benevolence, noting the small dramas as they competed for space and snapped at water bugs.


-well, of that. Mara Sov's eyebrows lifted a fraction of a centimeter, as telling as the flick of a fish's tail in the steam. If that was the game they were playing- Mara pretending disinterest, Azra toeing the line between truth and omission- then Azra had taken the round.

If all she had to do was be weird, but coy about it, she might be able to manage two weeks.

Either Mara Sov could see the question in Azra's eyes or she had better things to waste her time on. "Very well," Mara Sov said. She waved a hand in dismissal. "We may speak later. I have other things to attend to."

Azra took that as an invitation to leave. Nobody stopped her.


Azra couldn't tell if the Corsairs that lead her to her quarters were the same ones that had escorted her to the throne room. She thought they were, but with the uniforms and the masks, she couldn't be sure. It's not like they were Guardians, with bright souls that stood out. They were faint breezes and foxfire. Azra hadn't been paying enough attention.

Spark could hold everything she needed and keep it organized, so she hadn't packed a bag. She kind of wished she had- it would give her something other to do than just enter the modest room and sit down on the bed. With a sigh, she let go of the tension and brushed off the irritation from Uldren's words.

And she sent a quick message.


21_05_2952

13:17

AJ: What the fuck have you gotten me into, Cayde?


One of the Corsairs had left when they reached the guest quarters. The other lingered in her open doorway. Azra didn't have the emotional energy to wrestle with her claustrophobia, so she focused on the Void again, and was calm.

She didn't have a helmet to take off. She pushed her hood down instead. She'd been rude. "I'm sorry if I made you feel… unsafe earlier. That was never my intention."

"What was your intention?" The Corsair asked.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Frankly, not dying? I'm more used to danger than I am safety. Even if I know you aren't going to hurt me, I'm… not exactly suited to a life indoors. I get antsy."

"I wondered why the Vanguard sent a Hunter," the Corsair said. "From what I have heard, your kind isn't social."

"I lost a bet," Azra stated, and after a pause added, "I hope that isn't insulting."

This is how it should have been. She was more comfortable here, trapped in a small room and showing her metaphorical belly, than she had been staring down the Sovs with her pride intact. To forge connections, true ones, you had to show weakness.

She couldn't tell if the Corsair was insulted or not. The mask made her look stony-faced.

Azra wanted something else to focus on. There was the pinch of hunger in her stomach- she still forgot to eat sometimes. Though the idea of the rations she'd packed wasn't that appealing.

"How 'bout a deal?" she mused, more to herself then the Awoken warrior still standing on her threshold.

"A deal?" The Corsair echoed.

"Yeah." Azra stood. "You show me where a hungry Guardian could get some food around here, I'll buy you lunch. Deal?"


May 21, 2952, 13:55, The Reef, Inner System Space

"You know, when I pictured the Reef, I never thought it would have…"

"Restaurants?"

"Bars." Yet here she sat in one, though 'bar' wasn't quite the right word either. It was more of a pub, or a drinking den, or a hole-in-the-wall-with-cocktails. Azra got the feeling a lot of things up here would defy City-definitions.

This was new ground. She barely recognized anything- certainly none of the food. That didn't stop her from attacking her lunch with more enthusiasm than was polite. The noodle-analogues were salty and surprisingly chewy. The broth they floated in tasted like seafood.

"Do you even know what that is?" the Corsair asked. She was neglecting her own lunch to watch the Hunter in fascination and mild disgust. She had taken off her helmet, revealing short pale hair and eyes that glowed more yellow than green.

"It is food," Azra replied with seriousness.

"It is fish entrails and kelp."

Azra shrugged. "Hey, anything that isn't tree-cabbage. You ever had Venusian tree-cabbage?"

"No," the Corsair said.

"A word of advice: don't." Her appetite was fading just thinking about it.

(Okay, no it wasn't. She was hungry.)

Azra focused on the rapid delivery of food to her mouth, leaving Spark to carry the conversation. "We never got your name," he offered.

"Leona Bryl," the Corsiar responded.

Spark bobbed in acknowledgement. "She's Azra. Obviously. I'm Spark."

Leona crossed her arms and moved her gaze from Ghost back to Hunter. "You let it speak for you?"

Azra almost choked on her food. After several awkward seconds of coughing, she managed a raspy correction. "Him."

"Him?" the Corsair asked.

"Yes, I let him speak for me. He is my best friend. Most Guardian's Ghosts are their best friends. Calling them 'it', unless they introduce themselves as such, isn't going to go over well with most people."

Leona tilted her head. "You have to admit, it's a little weird-"

Azra wasn't done talking. "He's been through everything with me, every death and torture, and there is nobody I love more. I like this casual acquaintance thing we've got going, but continuing to call my Ghost an 'it' will be a deal-breaker."

"Alright, alright," the Corsair relented. "If that's how you feel."

There was a very long, very awkward pause. Azra returned to her seaweed-and-fish-guts. Leona did not seem to want to be the one to break the silence. Azra wasn't much inclined either, but Spark…

"We hardly know anything about the Awoken," the Ghost said. He hadn't been nearly as insulted by Leona's implications as Azra had. "I propose a deal."

"Another deal?" The Corsair asked.

"It's how Hunters do things," Azra explained. "You can't always count on good will. And some of us aren't so… socially adapted. Sometimes you gotta lay out terms."

"We're here for the explicit purpose of being an Emissary to the Awoken Queen," Spark said. "A counterpart to Petra Venj. Here to help calm diplomatic issues, to help the Awoken Royalty understand the City's intentions. But we don't hardly know anything about your people."

"And you don't know much about Guardians, clearly," Azra said. "We both got a lack of knowledge the other can fix. So, a deal."

Spark picked his train of thought back up. "If we promise to do our best to explain things, or at the very least promise to not lie, would you do the same?"

Azra continued. "With the knowledge we don't really know where each other stand on things, so there's no need to get offended about stuff- otherwise conversation's just gonna continue to be awkward."

Leona finally spoke. "What if you ask me something I am not comfortable answering? Or vice-versa?"

"Then you, or I, say so, and move on to the next thing," Azra replied smoothly. "Deal?"

She even held out a hand across the table. Leona sat in contemplation a moment. Azra was seized by a sudden fear of rejection.

But the Corsair leaned forward and accepted the handshake.

"I'll even let you go first," Azra said, "since I'm so nice. Whaddya wanna know about Guardians? Keeping in mind I'm more Hunter than I am Warlock or Titan- so my viewpoint may be skewed a bit."

The Corsair nodded. "I guess my biggest curiosity is, why did the Vanguard send someone who obviously doesn't want to be here?"

Interesting. "There aren't a ton of people qualified to be here who want to be," the Arcstrider explained. "Plenty of Cryptarchs, Faction reps, librarians, what-have-you, would love this. But this position is supposed to act as an Emissary for the Guardians, not just the City. So you need someone who takes field work on the regular. Someone who has enough of the big picture to be able to act in an official capacity. Someone who won't try to take advantage of this, who won't go throwing out secrets like candy, someone with enough tact to not immediately insult everyone-"

"Good job on that one," the Corsair muttered.

Azra chuckled. "That's why I'm just the stopgap. Nobody thought I was gonna be some great negotiator, just keep your royalty happy long enough to find a permanent replacement."

She slurped at her noodles and wondered if she should get a drink, too. But no, the look on the Awoken's face as a bit too serious and Azra didn't think it would make a very good first impression. "Speakin' of your royalty… why's Mara Sov your Queen, anyway? She descended from one? That's how it used to work, back before the Golden Age, didn't it?"

"She is not the daughter of another Queen, no," Leona said. "She is such because we wanted her to be."

"All of you?"

"Basically," Leona said. "Uldren is Prince because he is her brother. That's it."

"Hm," was all Azra had to say in reply. It did make her feel a bit better that Queen Mara had the support of her people and wasn't Queen just 'because'.

Leona leaned closer, her own food now ignored. "How does society work? When you can't die?"

"I die all the time," Azra supplied. "It just doesn't stick. But even if you're just talking about final deaths, ones that do stick, it's still a common occurrence."

"Really," Leona mused. "I got the impression- Petra Venj was sent to the City because she killed a few of you. It didn't seem like an everyday thing."

Azra had heard of the ill-fated airstrike. She'd been in the Vault when it had happened. "Sure, nine all at once like that? Tragedy. Didn't need to happen. But anyone who's been around for a few decades has lost someone."

"Have you lost… people?" Leona said, not knowing what word to use.

"Yeah," Azra replied, trying to sound matter-of-fact and not quite succeeding. "It's 'specially bad for Hunters, I think. I don't know. Plenty of Titans bite it, too, but we're… we go into the dangerous places. Alone, often, but sometimes you run into things a whole fireteam couldn't fight. We don't have safe walls to sleep behind."

"Are you not welcome in the City?"

Azra shrugged. "Oh, plenty welcome, but most of us prefer it in the wilds."

"Where you're at risk of dying." Leona was not following the train of logic.

"I'm not here to play it safe," Azra said. "A lot of the places I go, if I didn't go there, nobody would. Some of the things I fight, if I didn't fight them, they'd go unchecked. You hear about the Titans and their big battles, the Warlocks that can rip space apart, but the average Hunter is out there preventing catastrophes right and left. Just quiet-like. Nipping things in buds."

There was amicable silence for a moment. Azra finished her bowl and leaned back with a contented sigh. "Pretty good for seaweed and fish entrails. Guess you guys have to get pretty creative, seeing as there isn't much farmland on the Reef."

"We have hydroponic systems integrated with our aquaculture projects. It produces more than enough food to feed the Reef."

"But no potatoes," Azra mused. "And no dairy."

"Most Awoken are lactose-intolerant," Leona said. "Are you really wasting your question on hydroponics?"

Azra shrugged. "I mean, it's not like there's a limit to these things, right? Now I'm not gonna be disappointed when I can't get cheese."

"Fine," Leona said. "You're a Hunter, right?"

"That should be incredibly obvious. The cloak is a big give-away."

"I'd like to know more about your Vanguard. Cayde-6."

Azra frowned. "He's done plenty of stuff for the Reef, even back in the day. Did you guys forget about him or something?"

Leona shrugged, slow and easy. "He has a… reputation. I'd like to hear your side of it."

"Cayde," Azra said. "Well. He's got a personality. Funny, when he wants to be. Outgoing. Damn good at his job- the Hunter job, kind of less so the Vanguard one, but you could've seen that coming from a mile away. Really outrageous. I guess it rubs people the wrong way sometimes, but it never did me. You stick around long enough for him to get serious, ain't nobody more dependable. He's taking the responsibility of his position a lot better than I thought he would. It's kinda unfair to coop someone that free-spirited up in the City. Guess that'd be true for most any Hunter, though."

Leona was eyeing the Hunter with a bit of… disappointment? Azra didn't know her well enough to guess. "Did you know him before he was the Vanguard?" the Corsair asked.

Azra shot the Corsair a look. "Extremely well. He's pack. My brother. Known him a very long time."

Leona's expression was blank in confusion. "But he is an Exo."

"How does being an Exo have anything to do with it?"

Leona gestured helplessly. "You are a Human. How are you related to a machine?"

"Family made, not family born," Azra said. "Though I've known him my whole life anyway. He taught me how to ride a Sparrow, how to shoot a Golden Gun. Was there when I was first Raised."

Leona still seemed skeptical. Azra had to remind herself of the 'no offense' rule. "Do you have other… brothers?" The Corsair asked with trepidation.

"Four," Azra said. "Though one of them's… gone. Shiro-4 and Tevis Larsen are the other two, don't know if you've heard of them. Andal Brask you might have, though he died some years ago."

"I'm… sorry?" Leona said in halting condolence. Azra nodded wordlessly. The mood at their table had soured considerably.

Azra pushed it aside. "Do you have people you're close with?"

Leona tilted her hand in a so-so gesture. "I have never been close with my mother. I have friends, some acquaintances, but nothing too serious. I spend a lot of time with the other Corsairs in my unit. I'm still curious about your… 'brothers'." Azra could hear the air-quotes. "I never pictured Guardians having family. I thought Hunters were loners."

Azra frowned in thought. "Guardians, when we're first born, we don't have a lot. No parents, no homeland, no… purpose. Nothing but our Ghosts and our Light. If we want anything, we have to make it ourselves.

"Maybe we act a bit… childish sometimes, maybe we're hyped up on adrenaline and recklessness, but we're still people. We want to love, and to be loved. Wanna take the people we care about and hold them tight. I think my bond with Cayde is stronger for that we both had to choose it."

"Everyone who lives here has made that choice," Leona said. "Awoken are free to leave and make their life on Earth, but they aren't often welcomed back. It's a hard decision to make. Most would consider it a betrayal."

"I guess I just don't believe anything is owed devotion simply 'cause it exists," Azra said. "Someone wanted to leave the City, I don't see why they shouldn't."

"So, you have people you call family," the Corsair began.

"Keep in mind Pack is a very Hunter thing. Titans and Warlocks do their own stuff. I think it's usually more… individual? Two people call each other brother, but your relation's relations aren't necessarily yours? Meanwhile everyone Cayde is pack with, I am too."

"That sounds… complicated," Leona said.

"Oh, it's very simple," Azra said. "Unless it isn't. Then it's a clusterfuck."

"You have friends and family of a sort," the Awoken said, pulling her train of thought back on track, "but what about romances?"

"Uh… they happen," Azra said. "I think that's pretty standard. At least it's the same as the City people. How's it work here?"

"People decide they are interested in each other, so they spend time together, form romantic bonds, and they may get married," Leona replied in monotone, "or make some other commitment, or they break up, or they sit forever in a will-they-won't-they limbo that drives all of their friends insane."

"That… sounds like what we got," Azra admitted. "Though I think getting married is a bit rare for Guardians. I've heard of it happening, but I've never been to a wedding."

"Why is that?" Leona asked.

Azra just shrugged. She didn't know why. She tapped her chopsticks against the bowl for a moment, thinking. "What do you guys do for fun?" she asked. That would probably be the most useful to her.

"The normal things?" Leona said. "We listen to music, we read and write. Work at our jobs. Spend time with friends and family. Is that very different from what Guardians do?"

"That is something very divided by class. I mean, sure, everyone enjoys a good explosion, but a Warlock's gonna enjoy sitting down with a book a lot more than I would."

"Not a fan of reading?"

Azra grinned. "I don't like sitting still."

"I noticed," Leona said. "You don't stop fidgeting."

Azra very consciously stopped fidgeting. The Corsair sniggered.

"What do you do for fun?" Leona asked, leaning closer. "You specifically."

"Uh, I explore. Practice my staffwork. Sparrow racing is a good pastime. Play games. I don't have a lot of free time unless I make it. Lots and lots of gun maintenance."

"Dating?" The Corsair asked, just a bit too casual.

Azra could feel herself turn beet-red. Her muscles locked and her mind froze as the past few minutes of conversation caught up with her.

Leona looked amused. Maybe she was used to people with thick heads not picking up on flirting.

But she was staring straight at Azra, and the words weren't coming. The restaurant seemed claustrophobic now, stuffy. Azra's stunned embarrassment, unchecked, was quickly turning into some kind of panic.

If the Awoken could smell intention, they could certainly smell fear. Eyes were turning her direction. Conversation was quieting.

Azra stood jerkily, not bothering to straighten her cloak. It was Leona's turn to be surprised. "I'm sorry, I really don't mean to offend you, really, it's just-" Azra began to babble.

The Corsair looked a little hurt and confused. "But you-"

"-Really don't like being looked at. Dear God. Everyone's staring still." Spark was counting out their bill. Did they leave a tip? Did they have to go up to the counter to pay?

Screw it. They left a pile of Glimmer on the table and all but ran from the room.


An hour later found Azra hiding in one of the hydroponic gardens bemoaning her life choices. The gardens were mostly automated, it seemed, so she was left alone to contemplate her misery. The section she was in was on its night cycle, dark and quiet save for the occasional hiss of a mister or whir of a cleaning bot.


13:17

AJ: What the fuck have you gotten me into, Cayde?

14:02

C6: A pretty cushy gig. The Vanguard's covering your expenses, did I mention that?

C6: Hey.

C6: Hey.

C6 Earth to Azra. Come in, Azra.

14:26

S: We're eating lunch.

C6: Save your receipts. Zavala is very strict with the budget.

15:11

AJ: I reiterate.

AJ: What the fuck have you gotten me into.

C6: What happened?

AJ: A Corsair flirted with me.

C6: I hope you flirted back. It's only polite.

C6: Azra?

AJ: I wasn't expecting it!

C6: You panicked and ran away, didn't you?

S: Yes.

C6: You're a mess, girl.

AJ: I'm a failure at life.

C6: At least the royalty didn't flirt with you, right?

AJ: I don't think so?

S: I don't think Uldren would know flirting if it hit him in the face.

C6: That's the type you have to keep an eye on. They'll sneak up on you.


Someone had snuck up on Azra. She'd been idly poking at a broccoli floret, focused on the conversation. Cayde's teasing did make her feel a bit better.

Then there were footsteps on the tile floor. Azra spun, an apology on her lips (was she even allowed to be in here?).

It wasn't a gardener. It was Leona Bryl. Azra's words died in her throat.

"Someone said there was a Guardian moping about in the hydroponic habitat," Leona said. "I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I thought-"

"It's not that," Azra said. "You just… surprised me, is all."

"Is that how you normally handle being surprised?" Leona asked. "Dropping a bunch of money and booking it?"

"I don't like attention," Azra said. "I hate crowds. I live in a world where everything's trying to kill me, and I guess a part of my brain's always looking at it like that. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

The Corsair was taken aback. "Me?"

"Well, when the person you're flirting with literally runs away from you…"

Leona laughed. Amusement made the Light sparkle in Azra's senses and the tension eased a bit. "You don't have much experience in this, do you?" the Corsair asked.

"I don't get out much," Azra admitted. "Or, well, I don't get in much. I don't have a lot of free time, like I said."

"So, note to self: don't flirt with the Guardians."

Azra flapped a hand in dismissal. "Flirt plenty. I'm just socially inept."

Leona smiled. "You say that with such blandness."

"It's truth. You were going on about relationships and romance for like ten minutes and I never caught on."

"At least you're honest," the Awoken said.

"Yeah," Azra said, thinking back on the throne room. "If there's one thing I am, it's honest."

"So be honest. Are you interested?" Leona's smile was tilted. She had a hand on her hip, the other leaning against the hydroponic tank.

Azra shot the Corsair an incredulous look. "I have no idea what you're propositioning." She couldn't be serious, after Azra's previous showing.

"A deal," the Corsair said. "I buy you dinner, we go on a nice walk, then we make out on my couch."

Okay, Azra's brain said. Dinner, good. Walk, fantastic. Makeouts- "Oh God," Azra said. The aluminum tank-frame creaked under her hands.

"You look like you're about to bolt again," the Corsair pointed out. "Am I being too pushy? Are you already seeing someone?"

"No. Maybe. I'm going to puke." She crouched low, sucking at the cool, humid air.

"Are you not into women?"

"Just stop asking questions and let me have my goddamn panic attack," Azra spit. But the silence that followed was worse. The whir of the cleaning machines wasn't enough to distract her from the roiling nausea in her gut.

Deep breaths, Spark coached. Relax. Azra started with her physical body- letting her legs relax, breath slow, arms droop, fingers unlock from the depressions they'd left in the metal frame. She stepped back from the fear and the confusion and realized how useless they were.

It had only been a handful of seconds. When she raised her head again and opened her eyes, Leona was still there.

"You are incredibly patient," Azra remarked without thinking.

"I usually have to wait for answers," Leona said. "I don't mind. That was a really fast panic attack."

"If you're slow, you're dead," Azra said. "And Ghosts are really good for this kind of thing."

"So, answers."

"Answers. Yes," Azra said, straightening, pushing off the fear as best she could.

"Let's start from the top," Spark suggested.

"Alright." Azra took a deep breath in- held it a moment- then let it out. "Dinner and a walk sounds lovely. I am less enthusiastic about the makeouts. Not because I'm not… interested. In you. Or women. I'm just…"

"Not the makeout kind of person," Leona said. "I get that."

"Right." Azra nodded. "You are not being too pushy. I'm just socially inept. Again. I'm not… well, it is…" The words just refused to come out right.

"File relationship status under 'it's complicated'," Spark said. "But I doubt she would be upset if we saw someone else."

"She?" Leona asked.

"I would rather go fight a Kell than tackle that tonight," Azra stated.

"Have you fought Kells?"

"I've personally helped kill four of them," Azra said. "And a handful of Prime Servitors."

"Tell me about it while we walk," Leona offered.

Azra hesitated a moment. Then she threw caution to the wind and fell in beside the Corsair. The two of them made a circuitous path out of the hydroponics gardens.

"You realize," Azra said haltingly, "I'll be here for two weeks and then I'm probably not coming back. For a long time, at least."

Leona seemed unbothered. "Two weeks of good conversation and the tabled possibility of makeouts still sounds like a deal."


TYPE: DIPLOMATIC LOGS
PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Awoken-type, Occupation Corsair, designate Leona Bryl [lb]; One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter, designate Azra Jax [aj]
ASSOCIATIONS: Araskis [Kell]; Awoken; Cybele; Elyksul [Kell]; Fallen; Jax, Azra; Phyksis [Kell]; The Reef Wars; Rilliks [Kell]; Vault of Glass [Venus]; Vex;
/AUDIO UNAVAILABLE/
/TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[lb:01]: Which Kells?

[aj:01]: Oh.

[aj:02]: Rilliks, of Kings, Elyksul, of Winter, Araskis, of Devils, and Phyksis of Devils. With help, all of them.

[lb:02]: Do you only fight Fallen?

[aj:03]: Far from it. I'm actually more of a Vexpert.

[lb:03]: Vex-expert?

[aj:04]: Pretty renowned for it if I'm being honest. It seems I get called in just about any time someone finds something weird.

[lb:04]: Why the Vex specifically?

[aj:05]: I've got…

[aj:06]: Experience.

[lb:05]: That sounds like a delicate subject.

[aj:07]: Just really, really, really complicated. And confusing. Because it's the Vex. Let's just say I've earned my reputation and then some.

[aj:08]: Don't see much Vex out here, do you? Mostly Fallen.

[lb:06]: We have some Vex in the Prison of Elders. The Fallen don't bother the Reef much now that the war is over.

[aj:09]: Gives me the heebie jeebies, seeing 'em walk around with the peaceful folk.

[lb:07]: That's close-minded of you.

[aj:10]: They committed genocide against my people.

[aj:11]: I've seen the bodies, the piles of human remains. Settlements burned. I've seen them-

[aj:12]: Maybe that's not the best thing to talk about. Sorry.

[lb:08]: Guardians have killed plenty of them too. I'm sure they think of you as monsters, as well.

[aj:13]: At least I don't eat babies.

[lb:09]: That's-

[aj:14]: Not an exaggeration. Let's move on.

[lb:10]: Well, these Fallen are peaceful.

[aj:15]: For now.

[lb:11]: How can they change if you don't let them?

[aj:16]: Listen, If you want to take them in, I'm not stopping you. You want equivalency, they don't try to kill me, I won't try to kill them. Just don't expect me to be all friendly with them.

[aj:17]: Trusting the Fallen is courting death in my experience. And I have a lot of experience.


TYPE: DIPLOMATIC LOGS
PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter, designate Azra Jax [aj]; One [1] Awoken-type, Occupation Corsair, designate Leona Bryl [lb]
ASSOCIATIONS: Awoken; Ghost; Jax, Azra; Traveler; Vanguard
/AUDIO UNAVAILABLE/
/TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[lb:01]: Your Ghost still makes me uncomfortable.

[aj:01]: He can hear everything you're saying, even if he's not in realspace.

[lb:02]: I'd rather pretend he's not here.

[aj:02]: That's a little rude.

[aj:03]: But go on.

[lb:03]: For all I know, you're just a puppet whose strings he pulls.

[aj:04]: You can't prove anyone is sentient.

[lb:04]: Still, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?

[aj:05]: What? The fact that I've been reconstructed from dust by a giant white ball in the sky? A soldier in a war I couldn't possibly understand when I started fighting it? Something Raised, not born, and Raised for a purpose beyond both my comprehension and that of the being that Raised me?

[aj:06]: If there's a purpose at all?

[lb:05]: Wow. Not what I was expecting.

[aj:07]: What were you expecting?

[lb:06]: A lot more shrugs and… bravado.

[aj:08]: You think we don't think about these things? You think we don't worry?

[lb:07]: Frankly, no. I have never known a Guardian to worry.

[aj:09]: Well, it doesn't take that long before existential navel-gazing gets old. Just because someone puts up a front…

[lb:08]: It doesn't mean you don't question things.

[aj:10]: Questioning things is all we have sometimes. Existential crises are kinda par for the course.

[lb:09]: You all seem so carefree.

[aj:11]: Well, you can think yourself to death. I'm pretty sure some Warlocks have managed it. But for the rest of us, it's just not useful.

[lb:10]: Useful? To what?

[aj:12]: To our jobs, our goals. Pondering the nature of existence doesn't change the reality of it.

[lb:11]: How do you know you are following the right goals?

[aj:13]: How does anyone?

[lb:12]: Fair point.

[aj:14]: In my early years, I was… lost. Very lost. I had friends and mentors. I had the City to support me, a Vanguard to direct me, my Ghost… but I was still lost.

[aj:15]: So I sat down one day and I decided I had to figure myself out.

[aj:16]: At the root of things, you just have to make assumptions. You ask 'why' enough and you'll get down to questions you can't answer. You just have to say 'because'.

[aj:17]: You have to decide what you value. You lay your foundation. Only then will anything you build stand up to the test of time.

[lb:13]: Okay, so you guys really think about this stuff.

[aj:18]: I'm sure some of us don't. But the things you see… the things I've seen, you can't walk away without some questions.


TYPE: DIPLOMATIC LOGS
PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Awoken-type, Occupation Corsair, designate Leona Bryl [lb]; One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter, designate Azra Jax [aj]
ASSOCIATIONS: Awoken; Glimmer; Jax, Azra; Venus
/AUDIO UNAVAILABLE/
/TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[lb:01]: Is there anything you won't eat?

[aj:01]: I'm not a fan of sentient creatures. Beyond that, no.

[aj:02]: In my line of work, the picky starve.

[lb:02]: What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

[aj:03]: Glimmer. Do not recommend.

[lb:03]: Glimmer?

[aj:04]: Pretty sure it turned to charcoal in my stomach.

[aj:05]: Better than the tree-cabbage, though. If I ever have to cook that again it'll be too soon.


TYPE: DIPLOMATIC LOGS
PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Awoken-type, Occupation Corsair, designate Leona Bryl [lb]; One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter, designate Azra Jax [aj]
ASSOCIATIONS: Awoken; Jax, Azra; Kilauea [Earth]; Manhattan Nuclear Zone [Earth]; Sol;
/AUDIO UNAVAILABLE/
/TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[lb:01]: Poisoned?

[aj:01]: Yup.

[lb:02]: Electrocuted?

[aj:02]: Yes.

[lb:03]: Drowned?

[aj:03]: Very yes.

[lb:04]: Burned?

[aj:04]: Yes. Painful way to go.

[lb:05]: Asphyxiated?

[aj:05]: Yup.

[lb:06]: Irradiated?

[aj:06]: Hm. Tricky one.

[aj:07]: I've received lethal doses but always ended up taking another way out.

[aj:08]: I've head of Guardians getting trapped in unpleasant loops in Manhattan. Interference is so bad radioing for help doesn't always go through.

[aj:09]: You go too deep, it'll take a lot of rezzes to crawl back out.

[lb:07]: That doesn't sound fun.

[aj:10]: Nope!

[lb:08]: You're cheerful.

[aj:11]: It's laugh or cry, my friend. I'm picking laugh.

[lb:09]: Starved?

[aj:12]: Yup.

[lb:10]: Frozen?

[aj:13]: Yes.

[lb:11]: Any way you haven't died?

[aj:14]: Besides the irradiation?

[s:01]: Actually, technically…

[aj:15]: Hm?

[s:02]: A few times you've died from excessive heat caused by infrared. Too close to the sun.

[aj:16]: Oh. So that's a yes on the radiation thing.

[aj:17]: I've been around the gauntlet a few times. I'd say the list is pretty comprehensive.

[s:03]: Remember that one time-

[aj:18]: Yes.

[aj:19]: Nobody else needs to, though.

[s:04]: But it's a great story!

[aj:20]: Nope.

[s:05]: So, this one time we were at Kilauea-

[s:06]: Mmph!

[aj:21]: Shoosh, Ghostie. No talk.

[lb:12]: Now I'm curious.

[aj:22]: Nope.

[lb:13]: Please?

[aj:23]: Dear Traveler you're batting your eyelashes at me.

[lb:14]: Did it work?

[aj:24]: … Maybe.

[s:07]: She fell into an active volcano.

[lb:15]: No way.

[aj:25]: It was windy!

[s:08]: You tripped. It was hilarious. I have it on video.

[lb:16]: Can I see?

[aj:26]: Why do I even bother?


TYPE: DIPLOMATIC LOGS
PARTIES: Two [2]. One [1] Awoken-type, Occupation Corsair, designate Leona Bryl [lb]; One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter, designate Azra Jax [aj]
ASSOCIATIONS: Awoken; Cayde-6; Jax, Azra; The Reef; Sov, Mara; Sov, Uldren
/AUDIO UNAVAILABLE/
/TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../

[aj:01]: I hope it's not rude to say I'm not sad to go.

[lb:01]: Maybe a little rude.

[aj:02]: I don't think I can take any more Uldren making snide remarks. I might actually punch him next time.

[lb:02]: He's a very kind person if you're not a Guardian.

[aj:03]: I'll have to take your word for it.

[lb:03]: Will you be back soon?

[aj:04]: Probably not for a while.

[aj:05]: Maybe if I'm able to smuggle Cayde out here to try your noodles.

[lb:04]: If you do, hit me up.

[aj:06]: You must flirt outrageously with him. He'll think it's a hoot.

[lb:05]: Not into guys.

[aj:07]: Pretty sure he won't mind.

[lb:06]: See you around, Azra.

[aj:08]: Maybe I won't be such a stranger. Now I got a handle on the local restaurant scene.

[aj:09]: We'll see how my dislike for Uldren balances out with the food.

[lb:07]: It was fun while it lasted, yeah?

[aj:10]: Yeah. Take care.