Little Kid at Christmas
It's not so bad, being a kid.
Sure, a lot of the compensation sucks. Nobody trusts me within thirty feet of anyone's vehicle, except maybe my AGWS. And even then they keep making those damn car-seat jokes. Women, hah. Don't make me laugh--most of them don't even look down far enough to notice me, let alone think about me as anything but cute. And I can't see over most counters, and I've gotta get up on a chair to look Gaignun in the eyes when he starts talking down to me. People who don't know me won't sell me guns, and they're always going on about pinching my cheeks and calling me the cutest little thing they've ever seen.
Okay, so there are a lot of downsides. But it's not so bad.
Like, I can't meet a woman eye to eye, but I sure can meet her eye to breast, and she can't complain about me staring because hey, I'm just a kid! People never expect me to be packing heat either, and boy, you should see the looks on their faces when I am. And people still give me presents for my birthdays, even if most of them don't think about the fact that I should be growing up after so many of them. And nobody ever tells a little kid to just grow up if they catch him crying.
And nobody ever asks about the nightmares. And I'm not old enough for Miltia, so they never ask about that, either. Twelve-year-olds can't be traitors, after all. Nobody knows a kid who's killed his entire family.
Except, you know, me. Funny thing is that even Gaignun doesn't think about that too much. It's easier for him to pretend I'm his son that way. And that's funnier.
There's other things that people don't question about kids. Most of them never get too mad at me when I show up places I'm "not supposed" to be. None of them yell at me too much if I screw up. And, hey, I screw up a lot, so that's a big plus right there.
No one ever asks why I'm the first person up on Christmas day, either. Nobody ever wonders why I'm always the first person sitting underneath the tree and waiting for them to get around to the real good stuff, like the presents.
Because there's nobody happier than a little kid at Christmas, right?
It's not so bad, being a kid.
Sure, a lot of the compensation sucks. Nobody trusts me within thirty feet of anyone's vehicle, except maybe my AGWS. And even then they keep making those damn car-seat jokes. Women, hah. Don't make me laugh--most of them don't even look down far enough to notice me, let alone think about me as anything but cute. And I can't see over most counters, and I've gotta get up on a chair to look Gaignun in the eyes when he starts talking down to me. People who don't know me won't sell me guns, and they're always going on about pinching my cheeks and calling me the cutest little thing they've ever seen.
Okay, so there are a lot of downsides. But it's not so bad.
Like, I can't meet a woman eye to eye, but I sure can meet her eye to breast, and she can't complain about me staring because hey, I'm just a kid! People never expect me to be packing heat either, and boy, you should see the looks on their faces when I am. And people still give me presents for my birthdays, even if most of them don't think about the fact that I should be growing up after so many of them. And nobody ever tells a little kid to just grow up if they catch him crying.
And nobody ever asks about the nightmares. And I'm not old enough for Miltia, so they never ask about that, either. Twelve-year-olds can't be traitors, after all. Nobody knows a kid who's killed his entire family.
Except, you know, me. Funny thing is that even Gaignun doesn't think about that too much. It's easier for him to pretend I'm his son that way. And that's funnier.
There's other things that people don't question about kids. Most of them never get too mad at me when I show up places I'm "not supposed" to be. None of them yell at me too much if I screw up. And, hey, I screw up a lot, so that's a big plus right there.
No one ever asks why I'm the first person up on Christmas day, either. Nobody ever wonders why I'm always the first person sitting underneath the tree and waiting for them to get around to the real good stuff, like the presents.
Because there's nobody happier than a little kid at Christmas, right?
