As predicted, when Rogue reentered the bathroom, her voice was strong and confident. Remy hated that she felt she had to put on a brave face for him, but he hated even more that it was true. He needed someone to be strong for him right now when he couldn't be himself. He knew how much he was hurting her, and this knowledge only increased his self loathing. Maybe he should have listened to Mystique. Maybe he should have backed off and gave her a chance of happiness with someone else.
But why should he give her up? If she wanted to be with him, why should he push her away? Why do people believe you have to love someone more to let them go than to fight for them? Here she was, helping, joking, dying inside, and all of it for him. He hated being dependent on her, on anyone, but he didn't seem to have an alternative in the hand life had just dealt him. He needed her to survive.
One day at a time. If he could just make it through this night, this one, long night, then tomorrow would be a new day. A new day to endure, and he couldn't do it alone. Since they'd started sharing a room, he'd grown so used to the quiet sound of her breathing that he wasn't sure he could sleep without it.
Wasn't sure he could sleep anyways. Whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was red...
But she was still standing there, waiting for him to do something. Slowly, he stood up, causing her to take a step back. All his movements felt so slow lately. Taking the clothes from her, he saw her snatch her hands back through the hair that hung, dripping, in front of his eyes. She wasn't wearing her gloves. Without a word, he moved to the other room, leaving her to her shower. He didn't dare say anything, for fear of what he would hear. All physical traces of Death had been banished, but he could still see them in his mind's eye when he looked in the mirror. Would his voice be the same? Would the accent that he retained after all these years away from the Bayou still be nonexistent? Would his voice still hold that cruel edge? If, by some miracle, he laughed, would the sound still send shivers down his spine?
It was best not to say anything.
Closing the door behind him, Remy changed into the clothes he was given. Folding the towel carefully, he placed it on the dresser before fixing his gaze on the duffle bag at the foot of the bed. Lifting it up to move it, something within caught his eye. It was a framed photograph of him and Rogue smiling for the camera and looking, in every essence of the word, happy. It was painful to see. He had so many regrets, so many things that he would change over the past few years if given the chance. Right now, he'd give just about anything to see her smile like that again, and to be able to smile at all himself.
Debating for a moment, he eventually managed to leave the duffle bag unzipped, though he pulled it closed so it wasn't gaping open, displaying the rumpled and hastily packed clothing. Approaching the side of the bed closest to the outside door, he gingerly stood the picture on the nightstand as if it was the most precious thing in the world. Pulling back the covers, he crawled into bed, staying as close to one side as possible. Tucking the blankets up under his chin, he waited for the shaking to subside. He was still so cold. He felt as if he might never be warm again.
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A/N: Straight to the reviews!
WhytMajic: Well, ya don't have to, but ya know I love to hear it. Hee, like that name, did ya? Thankies, darlin'.
Loneraven: Soon enough? And don't ya just hate it when the thing goes all wonky? Although when that happens to me, chances are it's my comp, not the site.
Rogue14: I actually think this one is even shorter... Sorry about the length of the chapters, I find them short myself. But as I'm showin' each character's perspective of the same moments in time, each spanning only a few minutes, it's hard to make the chapters any longer. Have no fear, though! As the story progresses, I predict the events forcin' my style to change up some and the chapters to get longer. Hang in there!
ishandahalf: No way could anyone make the choice she did and not have some regrets. Thanks for the review and glad ya agree with that. A perfect character is a boring and unrealistic one. It's their flaws that make them interesting and human.
Rogue181: Kinda like BJ2's reviews for me, eh? ;D I always say that if I can make ya feel somethin', then it's a success. Glad you're enjoyin' it!
BJ2: Yay, my point is made! I often find myself defending that it is not the couple that is bad or ill fitted, but the writers that refuse to progress and try something new. The characters did not ruin each other by being together, it was the writers that ruined them. A relationship should never define any two characters, but enhance them. Once again, ya made my night, hon. As you await notifications, I await your reviews. ;)
Anamarie: He really is wounded, and I'm glad that's comin' across so well. He's got so much to regret, so much to feel guilty for that his soul is beyond wounded. I hope Rogue can help him too.
Tammy: ooh, your review made me squeal!I'm glad you're enjoying the execution of it all and looking forward to more. It would be so much more difficult for them to deal with this with outside interference from every corner, so I'm glad the other X-Men aren't terribly missed. And I'm also glad that the POVs aren't bothering anyone. I feel the story would lose a great deal if it was shown solely from one perspective. We need to see the feelings and thoughts of both of them to truly understand just how this effect each of them alone, as well as them together. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Nicole Wagner: Ah, the Deadly Gambit. Glad you're enjoyin' this!
