Detention Essays
A/N: We know the drill, but this time, it's James in the spotlight! Thanks for the reviews I received (didn't expect any!) any recommendations to improve are well received!
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Task: Write a 1000 word essay on why Filibuster's Wet-Start Fireworks should not be thrown into cauldrons full of potion- Professor H. Slughorn.
Wow- my first punishment essay. They've finally run out of painfully funny ways to 'punish' us for our 'wrongdoing'.
Hmmm… an interesting proposition. OK, I was the one who threw the firework (with perfect aim, I must add) into Snivelly's cauldron, but really, I was doing him a favour. I mean, it showed him that his potion worked, and also alerting him to the length of his nose. Lily did slap me, but hey, I can't have everything…. Including her…
Anyway, a sad after-effect of this joke was that several people I like (including Lily's best friend…) got covered in potion too. Luckily, none of the marauders were hurt, each having the foresight to protect ourselves beforehand.
I cannot believe I've got to write 1000 words of this junk. I mean, I'm not particularly sorry for my behaviour. Why should I be? It gave the four of us a great piece of entertainment, plus a story to tell those who will live on the marauder legend- Pronglet, Paddy, Minimoon and Wormie (yes, we're working on those two), who else will continue causing havoc, merriment and good memories? No one as good as us, that's who, unless we keep it in the family.
But, back onto topic- or not. Sirius said this was a brilliant way to evaluate your most recent 'diversion'. Admittedly, we could have made a barrier to stop the potion harming anyone else but our slimy faced gi- whoops, can't rub that out now I've started.
Maybe we could have improved our method of propulsion- I mean, what if I had somehow managed to miss? It would have done nothing for our reputation as the best mischief-makers around- maybe it would have been better to enchant the cauldron beforehand, and make it explode at precisely the right moment. However, that would have taken a trip to the library to find- and Marauders don't do libraries. I think the last time I set foot in there was to find Lily and ask the question again… before being shooed out for making too much noise.
But, with the things we (or Moony, more precisely) can do, we do them the best. Maybe it would be easier to protect only certain people, not everyone. For instance, certain teachers who have me in torture here thinking of what to write will get the full blast, after the intended victim, of course. In fact, this could have stopped other mishaps in previous prank episodes- for instance, the one where Lily was hit by those bewitched snowballs…
But, there are also downsides t protecting certain people, especially if they are ear the designated target. The spell could stretch and protect them too, a waste of effort and time that could be better spent.
Or, maybe putting a firework into the mix isn't the best idea. Perhaps an ingredient not in the potion that would cause combustion- it would require improvisation, but we can do that, any time. Some of our best manoeuvres are done on the hoof, with no prompting. Just us, the mystic hilarity mojo, and a certain greasy individual to target. We do some of our best material spontaneously, but then, that's more Padfoot's department. I'm more of the marvellous 'Second in command, who manipulates the joke to greatness with Padfoot, as Wormtail and Moony distract effortlessly- making another piece of Hogwarts history'. If only Lily would see that….
Yes, as you can see, I don't want Lily to get hurt. In fact, I'd probably stop Marauding if she went out with me… I'd be in so much heaven I wouldn't need to take all dignity from Snivellus. That's how love works, you see- oh, and her eyes! They could stop me in a second, their emerald sparkle blocking my sight in a matter of milliseconds…
But, I won't let that get in the way of having fun at another person's expense, oh no! Another thing about this certain prank is that the firework could go off accidentally at any point. Although that would be amusing in its own right, I'm sure no one wants to see my beautiful face getting ruined any time soon. It would be a disaster for mankind.
Also, maybe a different type of firework could have been more effective. A Catherine wheel, for instance, would have flown better, have whipped the potion around more of the class, or even, a roman candle would have made its way around the room with a nice effect. As it was (as you probably realised) I used a screamer, which made everyone cringe, so I have no regrets.
Also, although we wanted to get the trick done, we could have waited for another day, with another potion. Although none of us could wait after the idea was had (one of Wormtail's finest moments), say, if we'd been able to hold the thought until we'd had, say, aging potion that could have been amusing. Snivellus with a greasy beard… how oddly satisfying.
But, any way, swelling solution was still entertaining- for us anyway, so we made the right choice. What would have happened if we'd chosen a day when making Felix Felicis, for instance? The effects would have been disasterous- who wants to see the target unable to do wrong for however long? It would be a catastrophe, no less- a complete and utter failure to our long record of success.
There. 906 words now- only 94 to go!
In conclusion, I believe that there are a lot of factors that could be a problem with throwing a firework into a cauldron, as I demonstrated above. However, the most likely conclusion to the event is success- seeing as I couldn't possibly miss, the potion and firework were aesthetic, plus the victim was standing in the right place to get completely covered in said potion (namely, as you and the class well know, swelling solution), hence making the prank more successful. The only problem was, afterwards, Lily slapped me. I only asked her out again- she says I'm an egotistical, heartless sod, and then proceeds to put a bruise on my cheek (admittedly though, it does bring out my cheekbones…) Lily, my love, I know this is affection expressed in a strange way, but do not worry. Your behaviour doesn't marr you in any way and one day, you will realise there is a three letter word called 'yes'.
JP 4 LE
(Teachers note- for going completely off topic, Mr Potter will be in detention with Mr Black for the next two weeks- H. Slughorn)
