My apologies for the much delayed chapter – I went on holiday, hee!
VictorianDream: I hope the skipping about will sort of…end. It is not complete nonsense at all, I adore receiving your reviews! And Modest Mouse love.
phantomphan85: Ooh! A new review-er, welcome, welcome! Hugs! I hope you continue to enjoy it.
ladykathrin: I know there are not too many Raoul fans out there, but I amglad that you're liking this…I do try to have solid characters!
Misty Breyer: haha! Meet the in-laws. That reminds me of Meet the Fockers – heart that movie. I do love when you bring Erik into my reviews, tres, tres, tres amusing! And, yay! I'm glad you like the Adelaide-ness.
Stefynae: I know it's a little strange, (though, you saying Raoul was a 'pimp' amused me) that he remarried her…but, in all seriousness, in the Victorian era it was not uncommon for men to remarry just for the purpose of having a wife to raise his children or "take care of him" if you will. Coincidentally, after coming up with this plot bunny, I read "Cold Sassy Tree" which centers around that. Yeea, I hope you've read that otherwise I've said that for no apperant reason. I'm glad the strange-ness of it all hasn't stopped you from reading, thank you so much!
Phruity: I still laugh outloud when you call her homegirl, just fyi.
vanillashades: Aww! Thank you so much – I'm glad you like Adelaide! Keep reviewing! D
Lindaleriel: -le jaw drop- I am so flattered, it's not even funny. I loveth your c2…thank you, thank you, thank you! It's so good to hear that someone 'loves' something I've written, yay you!
Ryio16: Ahaha! Knock on wood, right? It takes me forever to update after you note how quickly I do…sorry about that! But, I'm here now, so do read on! 3
Chapter SixXXX
From the moment I had stepped out of the carriage, as I had feared, I was under complete scrutiny. Raoul's sister, Renee, was both short and round and with the same grey eyes as her brother. Yet, unlike Raoul's who gave me a feeling of security and care, Renee's felt like they were testing me.
The very interior of their home made me cringe. Everything about the décor was overdone in extravagance to the point of just being tawdry. It reminded me vaguely of a hotel lobby. Which, in my opinion, was the best way to describe Renee de Chagny-Mariuear. Tawdry.
All through supper I concentrated only on sitting up as straight as I could and eating, bearing all the rules of formality in mind. Renee spoke to Raoul in quick French, and with a glance to me, Raoul would answer back in just as quick English. I was grateful at his attempt to include me. Renee, whether purposely or not, had no intention of allowing me to be a part of it.
I sat quietly, drawing on every French lesson I had ever had, and all my practice with my husband. Then finally, turned to Renee's husband Jean and said in flawless French, "I am so grateful to be staying in such a lovely home while my husband is away and…oh! To be in such company! These months will simply fly by and I will be saddened when they are through." Triumphantly, but mostly arrogantly, I then glared at Renee and raised my glass, completing my French show with a toast to Raoul's safety and the glory of France.
First evening in France, I had won.
The two weeks Raoul had allotted to remain in Blois flew by too quickly. I was still embarrassed about the conversation that had passed between Raoul and I. You bring out the best in me. I scoffed at myself simply looking back. How I could've let those childish words slip between my lips was beyond me – strange how out of the thousands of words that pass in a day, those kept entering my thought. Was it true, or had I said it on a whim? What basis had that statement? None! I could not think of one instance where that applied. If I could have taken it back, I would have in a heartbeat.
What was even more humiliating about simply remembering that conversation was that I had been honest at certain points. I knew I would always love him more then he would love me. I had fallen in love with him long before he even knew my name without prompting. I was a hired governess in his household – I could not have let a young girl's infatuation risk my well-being. From the moment I was hired I relayed on the de Chagny roof over my head, the three meals a day, and the generous salary.
Now, after a marriage simply by good fortune, I found that I relayed on him for more then that. I completely berated myself the moment I realized I had become addicted to his presence, to the security he provided me with. I had become reliant on him. My worst fear and nightmare: I had become completely dependent on someone else.
The eve before Raoul's leave, I knew there were still things I needed to settle
Like a child, I dragged my feet in the mud, not looking forward to what I had to do inevitably.
I took every care getting dressed for Raoul's last dinner with us in Blois. I chose a blue coloured gown with a satin trim, I had always thought in the back of my mind trims flattered me best. I had a long neck and it had always been difficult to flatter that with anything but a unique dress line. I wore the coloured diamond earrings Raoul had bought me on our honeymoon, and wore my hair in a soft bun, so the fine hair would curl around my face. I starred at myself in the vanity mirror and realized how foolish I was being. Frustrated with myself, I tore out my earrings, throwing them in their box and pulled at my hair, pulling it back again in it's normal, cold, knot.
I stood, smoothing my dress out with my hands, breathing deeply and composing myself. I then walked out of the bedroom I would share with Raoul for the last night this evening and descended the stairs.
I sat in complete trepidation as I heard my husband ascend the stairs and turn the crystal doorknob to our bedroom after dinner. I had excused myself from the meal before the last course and dessert, I spent that extra time pacing the bedroom and rehearsing what I was going to say.
Raoul gave me a quizzical smile when he walked in and saw me standing in the middle of the room, twisting my hands together.
"Tired?"
I answered quite quickly: "Yes."
"You look it."
"Oh, thank you," I said sarcastically, and then gave an awkward nervous laugh afterwords. After he didn't laugh as well it only heightened my apprehension.
I went behind him, quietly, and sat at the vanity stand while he got ready to retire for the evening.
"Did you remember to pack—"
"Everything is ready, Adelaide, don't worry."
"Oh, I know," I continued, "but I was just making sure you didn't neglect the—"
"Adelaide!" He laughed and came over and kissed the top of my head. "Everything is done…and, I don't leave until late morning, so, let us leave the last minute things to truly last minute."
He backed up and looked at me for a moment, which began to make me feel uncomfortable.
"What? What do you see?"
"I was waiting to see how long it took for you to react to the idea of procrastination."
Coincidental he should mention procrastination…
"Dear," I began, my voice already starting to quaver, "there is something I need to tell you."
He stepped closer to me again and knelt next to me, resting an arm on the vanity table, and placed his other hand on my knee.
I kept my empty gaze on his hand as I began what I had wanted to tell him for almost two weeks.
"I…well, I…that is to say, oh! Dear," I took a deep breath and finished, "Raoul, I am with child."
I raised my eyes, eager to see his first reaction. To my slight disappointment, it was not immediate joy, more of a shock…but he quickly smiled. Words obviously failed him, for he instead wrapped a hand around my neck and kissed me, gently, as if I would break. I pulled back after a moment.
"Are you…. pleased?"
"Pleased?" he exclaimed, standing, "Of course, Adelaide, this makes me very happy. When? When, my darling?"
"April, I believe. Perhaps May."
"I hope to be home by then," he said, though, honestly knowing the likelihood of that statement.
I turned on the stool to look at myself and my husband together in the looking glass.
"I hope it is a boy," I informed our reflections, "an heir."
I had expected Raoul to come back with his usual, gentler answer, but instead he said quite honestly, "That would be….ideal."
We both began to laugh and he leaned over my shoulder and whispered to me, adoringly, that he loved me. That was how our last evening ended together: jubilantly.
That morning I was attacked by an overwhelmingly strong wave of nausea and a throbbing head. I tried to lay perfectly still, not challenging the illness. Though, when Raoul began to stir in the morning, the pain was doubled.
"Please," I begged, sounding quite pathetic, "don't move, don't move…"
I regretted saying anything about how I was feeling, I knew I could have risen and been perfectly fine despite the discomfort! For, because of my complaints, Raoul insisted I stay in bed while the rest of the house broke their fast. His last morning with me and I stayed in bed while he ate with that wretched sister of his! I cried with frustration for that very reason, while holding my head in my arms, pleading for it to be steady again.
By the time he returned upstairs, I had nearly finished getting dressed for the day. Raoul began to protest, but I reassured him I was feeling much better. Which was…partially true.
"Not laced too tightly?" he asked with the genuine concern of a husband, putting his hands just above my hips.
"No," I laughed, pulling his hands from around waist, "it's early yet, you know."
Raoul smiled as he walked over to the dresser, I could tell he was still pondering the chance of finally getting his heir.
"Did you put that last satchel in the largest trunk, Raoul?"
"Yes, dear," he
answered dutifully. "I have only a few more - last minute - things
to add."
"Oh?" I questioned.
He nodded and pulled out a silver oval from a drawer.
"What is this?" I walked over slowly and took it from his hands.
Inside was my likeness.
"Raoul," I began, "I'm…I'm touched."
"Oh, and I have this for you!"
From the same drawer he pulled out a locket made from similar silver as the oval dual-frame. He instructed me with his hands to turn. He put it around my neck, then gently pulled my unbound hair out from underneath the long, thin chain.
Putting his arms about my shoulders, Raoul opened up the locket with a quiet click. Inside were two high quality miniatures: one of Victoire, and the other of Raoul and me.
My eyes began to sting with looming tears – a combination of the darling gift, and his leaving. Breaking normality, I turned in his embrace and buried my face in the nape of his neck, fingering his cravat. He said not a word, but simply held me as I cried quietly in his arms.
Raoul finally departed at 11 o'clock on the twelfth of November. Renee, Victoire and I stood on the front porch as we watched Raoul's carriage leave for the coast. I kept my hand on Victoire's shoulder while she cried and waved frantically to her Father, though I maintained an honest melancholy look, my composed demeanor overpowered any other emotion – just as it had my entire life.
Renee had made quite a show when Raoul was just about to depart. Sobs and begging him to stay, I was almost amused by the entire situation, and nearly laughed outloud when Raoul rolled his eyes and smiled at me while giving his sister a final embrace. Though, what I wish I could run and tell my husband, that what he had not seen was how quickly she had stopped when he was nearly out of view. I massaged my temple with my other hand only imagining how I was to deal with Renee before Raoul's return.
We all filed back in to the house, the sound of the carriage jostling out of sight growing more and more faint. I turned at the last moment, only able to see the very end of the carriage turn the corner. I put my hand delicately to my stomacher, tracing the quaint floral beadwork, wondering when exactly I would see my husband again.
