Detention Essays

A/N: What can I say- this story nearly lives up to its' title! For writing this essay when I should have been enjoying a lesson on trigonometry, I nearly got my book confiscated, and there could have been worse repercussions. This is how much I love writing these things.

Thatpinkrose, this one's for you, for being so complimentary in your review, as well as giving me the idea. Yes, it's time for Lily to have a shot.

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Task: Write a 500 word essay on why slapping people should not be used as a disciplinary action.

Oh, come on, Professor, I'm a prefect! You can't do this to me- I am fully justified for my course of action, which I will endevour to explain to you in the following essay.

I slapped Potter for several reasons. The first, but not the most important- he's been stalking me for years.

Second, I thought the shock of being hit hard by the person he 'loves' (or that's what he's told me every time he's asked me to go out with him) might stop him from being such an idiot. I mean, did you see what he did to Snape? That was unfair, and something had to be done about it, so I took it upon myself to do so- seeing as he'd only get a chance to evaluate his behaviour, and see how he could have 'improved' his behaviour, or that's what he's been saying in the common room all year. He and Black have been claiming to anyone and everyone that your detentions give you a brilliant chance to see how you could have made your misdeed even worse. Since this is my first detention, I can't compare it, but I'm glad to say that I don't agree. At the moment, anyway.

Yes, I did slap him. As hard as I could. However, it didn't really have the desired effect. The moron positively enjoyed it!

As I was inwardly celebrating- you see, that was the first time I've ever slapped someone, he was going all weak at the knees, and suddenly announced to the whole world how I had actually touched him, how much I liked him, and asking me how long I'd kept my feelings hidden. The incompetent, egotistical eejit! Then, he asks me out! Again! Honestly, professor, you should keep him in a permanent detention- it would prevent him from implementing his stupid jokes on any unsuspecting Slytherin.

Maybe, however, I could have done something else to stop him that would have been more effective. I could have, for instance, got him on a pressure point, or have prevented him from having children later on (most effective, if not unladylike.) However, he has been a thorn in my side for years, so I could have pulled Remus to one side and make him have a quiet chat with James, telling him that if he ever planned to have me as a girlfriend, he shouldn't make me upset by playing childish pranks on people. It might work, if his friend says something- even if made to by me. Girls can do that sort of thing.

Or, even more torturous for him, and amusing to me, he could undertake a particularly nasty detention, involving doing a 3000 word essay on a potions topic (he's useless at Potions- it would be torture), as well as having to tidy the library- another heinous activity for one who doesn't know their way around the place- except the restricted section and where 'The practical spells to torment your fellow students' is located- which, at some point, I do wish to burn, and remove itself from reentering the school ever again, for the sake of the students.

In conclusion, slapping should not be used as a disciplinary action because there are much more evil, and satisfactory, ways to do so, with better effect.

Thank you Professor, after a bit of mulling, I believe that these essays are good for evaluating your behaviour, and I should write them in my spare time, to see if I can improve my prefect capabilities. I can only hope that writing one of these has not made Potter, Black and Remus (the only one of them I can call by his Christian name,) more determined to improve their trickster abilities, as they would definitely be more of a threat to the safety of the students.