Mr. Bluebird flew into Ezra's hotel room that morning. "I heard the good news! Great job, Ezra!"
Phineas looked up in confusion. "What job?"
"You're getting married today and you don't even know it? Man, I'll never understand you guys."
Gus rolled his eyes. "He's not getting married! ...is he?"
Mr. Bluebird flew over to the window. "Hey, Ariel's right down there! And...she has a different guy with her."
Ariel was walking with a handsome man. The mystery guy waved to Ezra with an evil look.
"Holy hatbox!" thought Ezra. "Wait, someone said that already...what's another exclamation? Holy crimespree, Batman! No, that was on some series...I think it was Superman or something. Forget the exclamation! My heart's been shattered by an icepick!"
"There's something fishy going on here," said Gus.
"Of course it's fishy," reasoned Phineas. "It's a Little Mermaid parody, after all."
"No! Look at Ariel! She's, like, in a trance or something."
"Yeah," said Mr. Bluebird, "something weird is going on here! I'm gonna go spy on this guy."
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Mr. Bluebird followed the man into a bathroom and hid in a stall. He peeked out as the man turned into Pain and Panic.
"How come I'm the lower half?" complained Pain. "You get to do all the kissing!"
"Yeah, but the lower half gets to do all the...you know..."
"Ooh. Nice."
Hades appeared next to them. "There won't be any 'you know!' Ursula will take over at the wedding!"
"Dang," grumbled Pain. "I get to be the top half now." Pain jumped on Panic, crushing him.
"Ouch!" squeaked the little imp. "You're eating way too much McDonald's, man!"
"Holy hatbox!" thought Mr. Bluebird. "Wait, did someone already say that? This explains everything! Not only why Ariel is in a trance, but why Pain is so fat! It looks like it's up to me to save the day!" He flew off.
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The little bird soon told everyone else what happened.
"Wow," said Phineas, "so THAT'S why Pain is so fat! He's really packing away those McNuggets."
Gus jumped up. "We've got a wedding to stop! Okay, bird, you smuggle as many Disney characters as you can into the Wedding Pavilion and stall while we figure out how to get there ourselves!"
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Mr. Bluebird was soon getting many characters inside. "Okay, gargoyles, don't come out of your statue form until I give the signal!"
"But they've got a shrimp buffet!" complained Hugo. "You know how I love shrimp!"
The bird continued over to a table which was covered with seemingly inanimate objects. "Let's see, we've also got the toys from Toy Story, the furniture from Beauty and the Beast (now they can change back whenever they want)..." he motioned to several wrapped up appliances, "and we've even smuggled in some 'wedding gifts!' No one will suspect dumb inanimate appliances to come to life!"
"HEY!" snapped Lampy from The Brave Little Toaster, coming to life. "I happen to come from a very bright family!"
"Turn yourself off!" hissed Mr. Bluebird.
The Genie flew in. "Hey, what about me? I can change into ANYTHING! This form takes the cake!" He turned into a wedding cake. "Or what about a luau theme for the wedding?" The entire pavilion became the Tiki Room. "Come on, you're a bird! I'm sure you'll love this!"
"Sorry, you'll just have to be something small and inconspicuous."
"Is there already a lamp?" asked the Genie.
"Yes!" called Lampy, annoyed. "Find someone else to impersonate!"
"Fine...I'll just be a centerpiece." The Genie turned into an extravagant centerpiece in the shape of Mickey. It lit up and everything.
Mr. Bluebird sighed. "Well...it beats the Tiki Room."
Gus, Phineas, and Ezra snuck in. "Now we just wait for the wedding to start!" said Gus.
"Hey," pointed Phineas, "does that minister have an erection?"
"That's just his knee."
"What about Aladdin saying 'Good teenagers, take off your clothes?'"
"He's saying, 'Good tiger, take off and go.'"
"What about the dust that says 'SEX' in the Lion King?"
"It really says 'SFX.'"
"Oh."
The wedding began. Finally, Mr. Bluebird announced, "ATTACK!"
The characters all came to life and started beating up Pain and Panic's human form. Lampy shone his light in their eyes. The Radio jumped down and began to swat them with his antenna. "A blow for Richard! A blow for Marion! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th street!"
Laverne sent her doves at the imps. "Fly, fly, my pretties!"
Victor snuck off to the sides. "Oh dear, I never did like fights."
"I'm just gonna be going for the shrimp," grinned Hugo.
Cogsworth swung down on a chandelier and kicked Pain and Panic. The Genie zapped them. "Take that, you imps!"
Defeated, Pain and Panic transformed back into themselves.
"I will marry them anyway," said Ariel in a trance.
"SCORE!" cheered Pain and Panic.
Ezra noticed Panic holding a box marked "Ezra's Voice." He grabbed the jar and drank the contents as the Popeye theme played. "YEE-HAW! This ghost is back and you two are going down!"
Ariel broke out of the spell. "Ezra?"
"In the flesh! By the way, I normally don't have any flesh." The sun set. Suddenly, Ezra became a ghost. "Aw, crap."
Ursula burst in. "HA! I WIN!" She grabbed Ezra and swam away.
"Remember me as a lover of sorts!" called Ezra.
