Just FYI, I'm going to take a break this month for Dannymay. :D

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Chapter 239: Custody

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"All rise," ordered the bailiff. There was a shuffle around the courtroom as everyone stood and Themis entered. The jury soon followed. Everyone sat again a moment later.

"This hearing," said Themis, "is being held with regard to the custody, welfare, and provisioning of the child ghost currently known to this court as Danny. All advocates representing a party that wishes to claim custody please stand."

Danny watched as Oleander and Foxglove stood up, followed by a smattering of others. He sighed as he saw Skulker's advocate of all people standing. And Technus's. And the Box Ghost's. And Desiree's. And Mr. Lancer's. Tucker's advocate, also representing the Foley parents, were standing as well.

"Advocate Wolfsbane," said Themis, "does your client have any strenuous objections to any of the persons represented here?"

Danny nodded vigorously.

"Yes, your honor, he does."

"Very well. Is he willing to elaborate to the court?"

"Yes, your honor, he is."

A few minutes later, Danny was back in the witness box.

"So," he said, "first off, Skulker regularly attacks me with the stated goal of hunting me for sport and skinning me. I have no idea if he's serious or not, and that sort of freaks me out. I don't trust him. Technus and I are also enemies—No hard feelings there, I just don't really know a lot about him. I can beat up the Box Ghost without even using any powers, so I don't think that's a good fit. I mean, you need someone who actually, you know, can exercise some authority over you, right? Desiree… Okay, this one is going to take some explanation…"

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"… anyway, I hit the button and that… jogged my core awake. Memory didn't come back until later, though. It wasn't like she was the direct cause of what I felt in there, though, she just wanted me out of the way. Didn't do anything but the memory wipe. I was the idiot that did the rest all on my own."

Danny took a deep breath. "Hopefully, however, you can understand my discomfort at the idea of her having custody, given our history."

He took a moment to look at the jury, the members of which were alternately confused, horrified, or blank.

"Those are the easy ones. As for Vlad…" Danny trailed off, looking at the man, whose face was unreadable. "Well, we've had a number of conflicts." Danny chose not to share the ones involving his parents, because those would tend to make Vlad look better, given their recent conviction and sentencing. "But I think the most telling aspect of our relationship as a whole is that he made from me five children-by-theft."

The various sounds of shock (most of which were not gasps, ghosts did not need to breathe) were music to Danny's ears.

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"Okay," said Connie, who felt like her eyeballs were about to escape from her face. "Okay. So, I know I'm human and you ghosts have your own way of doing things, but… that was messed up, right? That was messed up."

"It was," agreed the Dairy King, quietly.

"We still need to hear the testimony of the others," said Lacuna, calmly, hands folded. "It is quite possible that Danny has misconstrued events. Even our memories can be unreliable."

"Still," said Firelight. "That would be an incredible misunderstanding, and do we really want to put him with someone he views like that? It would be a recipe for trouble. Children are supposed to feel safe with their guardians."

"I almost want to put him on trial," said Tristan, clenching and unclenching his hands. The Lunch Lady handed him a stack of blank paper, which he instantly began ripping to shreds. "How do you do that to kids?"

"How indeed," said Ryu. "But I believe you may have overlooked something. He is on trial."

"What?"

"No, he isn't."

"But he is," insisted Ryu. "Perhaps not in the same manner as Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, but all the same. His fate may be altered by our decision."

"Could you elaborate?" asked Mrs. Ormolu.

"By participating, he has, partially, allowed us to dictate actions to him, as long as they relate to Danny. Perhaps he was so eager to play his hand that he did not read the fine print. Custody, welfare, and provisioning. I believe there should be some things we can take advantage of under that header."

Frida Weber began to chuckle, then her laughs turned into snorts. "Oh, yes, let us make him pay child support, yes. For all five of the ones he made, and Danny?" She hit the table, shaking everything on it.

"Child support?" asked Ryu. "I am afraid I am not familiar with the concept."

"Oh boy," said Eric Marsh. "Guess it's my time to shine."

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"I like that idea!"

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"… Prince Damien Phantom, currently ward of Fright Knight, Lord of Halloween and Ancient Master of Fear."

"O-oh, I'm a prince? That makes sense, but I guess I didn't realize…" He smiled, thin and stressed, at the crowd, glanced at Danny, made a face that just screamed 'I'm remembering something,' and revealed a truly unsettling grin.

Involuntarily, Danny raised a hand to his own lips. Fright Knight had been teaching Damien a lot, but could Danny's teeth look like that? He rubbed self-consciously at one of his canines.

"How would you like to be known to this court?"

"Damien is fine," said Damien.

"Could you please share with us your opinion on the candidates for guardianship over Danny?"

"Well, I don't really know all that much about Clockwork, but Fright Knight is great!"

"Fright Knight is not applying for custody at the moment," Themis reminded him gently.

"But he is backing Clockwork, so… That's… not something I'm supposed to be talking about. Okay. Uh. Well. Vlad. My-my life-story, then? Uh… so…"

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"Holy god."

"Don't say that," said Mrs. Holiday, lightly smacking Tristan's arm. "You don't know Who might be listening."

"Really?"

"Dear, I'm a ghost. Have an open mind."

"I have been a ghost for many years," said Ryu. "I confess that I have seen all too much evidence of a god like the one you mean, Mrs. Holiday."

"Excuse me," said Mrs. Ormolu, "let's stay on topic."

"Well, if I may open, I was not entirely convinced of the child support scheme in the beginning," said Firelight, "but I am starting to see its merits."

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"… would be a good fit from a strictly human perspective, and he's known them for the longest, but he already has a parent-child relationship with Clockwork," said Jazz.

"And Mr. Plasmius?"

"Well, once I got in a fight with Danny—A verbal fight," she specified. "We did not, at the time, engage in physical violence. We were upset with each other, and a little angry, but we weren't really… mad. If that makes sense.

"I went to Vlad's house, partially to emotionally cool off, and partially to spy on him, because the argument I had with Danny was about whether or not it was safe for me to engage more dangerous enemies like Vlad. Vlad offered me shelter in accordance with hospitality. I went somewhere I wasn't explicitly told was forbidden. He injected me with nanites and told me he'd blow me up if I didn't fight Danny to the death."

"Excuse me," said one of the advocates. "What are nanites?"

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Silence reigned in the jury chambers.

"Well," said Connie. "That was certainly enlightening."

"It was indeed."

"I hope someone else calls a witness who is an expert in these nanites," said Mrs. Holiday. "I'm still not entirely clear on what they're supposed to be."

The Dairy King started chuckling.

"Er, I don't think this is a laughing matter," started Tristan.

"Oh-ho! But it is, dontcha know!" said the Dairy King, still chuckling. "As before, he has agitated the curds of his own demise!"

"What?" asked Connie.

"Sowed the seeds of his own demise, but for cheese," explained the Lunch Lady as the Dairy King cackled in the background.

"Oh," said Ryu. "I see. We can use the nanites to justify him paying child support for her as well. She has something in her that was made by him."

"Just so!" said the Dairy King. "That'll teach this unruly descendant of mine!"

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"Clockwork!" exclaimed Danny, entering the common area. "You're back!"

"Indeed, I am," said Clockwork, who was in his very most ancient form, carrying a stone tablet.

"Are you okay? You look tired."

If possible, Clockwork seemed to grow even older. "That is quite possibly the case. I was in session with the Regency Council. We're hoping you can come for to one of our meetings, soon. There are matters that need your input, such as the remaining members of the council… and the appointment of a new Judge, if that is your desire."

"Ah," said Danny. "I guess… Dang, I can do that now. It just… didn't occur to me… I can get rid of the Observants…"

"It is a process that has significantly more steps than appointing new Ancients, I'm afraid. But, yes, you can. I apologize for greeting you with such weighty things, however. No doubt, the custody hearing is giving you more than enough stress."

"About ninety percent less now that you're here," said Danny.

"That's good," said Clockwork, patting Danny on the head. "It isn't going badly, then?"

"It's hard to tell," said Danny, "but a lot of the other people who applied for custody kind of stopped advocating for themselves and started picking on Vlad, so… Yeah…" Danny shrugged. "Is it weird that I almost feel bad for him? Like, I'm pretty sure most of the things he did were Obsession-related, even if they were really messed up. And he's not that bad."

"Dude," said Tucker. "I think you may have a warped idea of what is and what is not 'that bad.'"

"Yeah, but by ghost standards—"

"Still bad," said Clockwork, "although not entirely irredeemable. Shall we go see if there is any decent tea on offer? He gestured at the (recently installed) kitchenette attached to the common area.

Tucker nudged Danny and whispered. "Does he really not know this time, or is he just asking to be polite?"

"Unfortunately," said Clockwork, as he glid towards the kitchen, "I can see several different possibilities with respect to the tea. It is, in fact, quite aggravating to not know what timeline one is in, especially when one's siblings are teasing one by comparing them to a character in a movie. Daniel, do I seem at all like that character from Men in Black Three?"

"What movie?" asked Danny.

"Men in Black Three?" asked Tucker.

Clockwork turned away from the cabinet. "That movie isn't out yet, is it?"

"No," said Danny. "Not unless it came out while we've been here. But I think we would have heard about it before?"

"Yeah, Danny's all over the big space-related movies."

"Tea is supposed to help one relax and focus, yes?"

"Jazz says so, anyway," said Danny.

"I do believe we need that tea."

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"We the jury find that full custody of Danny should be given to Clockwork, Ancient Master of Time, Lord of Long Now, with the Foleys and William Lancer serving as joint temporary guardians while Danny resides in Amity Park," read Mrs. Ormolu. "However, we also find that Vladimir Master, known to some as Plasmius—"

Connie shuddered. That was still a shock.

"—has a material obligation towards not only Danny, but to Danny's siblings-by-theft and his sibling-by-birth, Jasmine Fenton. We would suggest that Vladimir Masters be required to provide financial support for all eight children. This support should be at minimum equal to the amount he would legally be required to spend on a child under his care and should additionally include an allowance for educational expenses."

"What?! You can't do that! I—"

The bailiffs tackled Vlad.

"I find you in contempt of court," said Themis, flatly. "Please continue and state your reasoning for this court's authority in the matter."

"Of course, your honor. This is pursuant to section…"

Vlad's inarticulate screaming could be heard even after he was dragged out of the room by the bailiffs.