Everything
you know is wrong
Part 5: You have to wear the uniform.
By:
Kaemon
"-and that's when those stupid girls in sailor suits showed up, so I activated my orbital laser cannon and blasted them across the gate to London!"
The Blazing Steel leaned over to his partner, who was tied to the wall next to him and whispered, "Quickly Steel Panda, we must find a way to get out of here! Or the world is surely doomed!"
"Hey! Are you two listening! Ah, good, now where was I… oh yes. The yellow rat shows up but is quickly taken care of by the walking suit of armor, but alas! He is quickly taken out by some freak wearing blue and a gun for a hand! Suddenly this guy in a green dress or something jumped down screaming and cut the blue guy in half, I tried talking to him later but all he did was scream every time he swung his sword. Then suddenly those crazy necromancers with their bells came to try and defeat us, but the shinigami appeared and quickly took care of that problem."
'I agree; much more of this and I'll lose my mind.' Steel Panda wrote on his sign as the old Amazon continued to ramble on telling pointless stories.
Ranma-chan slowly sipped from the can of soda she held, as she watched clouds move through the sky from the roof of the house. "You know," She said as she looked down at the small pig, Ryouga, who was also on the roof, "going temporarily insane is, well, rather therapeutic." Ranma-chan grabbed Ryouga by the bandana and stood up, "Well," she lifted Ryouga up and looked him in the eye, "You know what the only thing there is to do now?"
"Elope? Right? Am I right this time?" Ryouga wishfully thought.
Ranma-chan's pointed towards the sky, "I'm going to china!" she then sighed, "It's not like I have a choice, and I have to get that stupid kettle back from Herb." She gave a sharp glare at Ryouga as this thought ran through her head.
Twenty Minutes ago
"You know what else is wrong with the world? Sauerkraut. I just hate the stuff! It's there with those foods people keep making, but I've never actually seen people eat them ya know!" Ranma-chan blinked twice, and then slowly set down on the floor, letting go or Ryouga in the process. "Huh…" She shook her head, as if clearing out the temporary insanity. "So, as you were saying, Herb has it back. Where is he now?"
'He went home.' The small sign said.
Ranma-chan pulled herself off the floor and moved towards the door, "Wonderful, life keeps getting better."
Now
"Yes! It seems like she has given up on getting the kettle back! This means she has chosen to be a girl!" The small black pig thought with glee. "Though what could she possibly want that's in China? Must be something big, because last I checked she hated that place with a passion."
"Ack!" Ranma-chan shouted as she realized how much time she had wasted of the day already. "Akane will be ticked if I skip classes again. Or at least she normally did, though, here she might not care considering she did skip school that one day." Images of an angry and extremely sex crazed Akane entered Ranma-chan's head, needless to say, it was not something she would ever want to experience. "No, not taking any chances."
Ranma-chan looked up at the clock atop the school, and thanked the heavens she had somehow actually woken up early, so rather then being there right as the bell rang; she was there actually about ten minutes early, a rare thing for her. Unfortunately, this would be the highlight of the school day. The second she set foot past the gate, the trouble started.
"Excuse me Miss, where are you going?" Kuno, Principle Kuno was walking towards her, the person who always wore crazy Hawaiian clothing and always had a pineapple on his head, was now lacking his normal tan and wore a suit.
"Eheh, to class?" She warily responded.
"Not like that, all students must wear the proper uniform. It's the rule."
"Aww common! I haven't worn the uniform any other time!"
"Wear the uniform ya moron!" a voice from above said, obviously belonging to Kasumi. Ranma-chan looked up to see her standing atop the gate, though this time she was wearing what appeared to be a hakama and a modified kimono with a red inside, though it looked more like a trench coat then anything else. Though now she had a different sword, and this one rather bothered Ranma-chan, for it was much longer and pitch black. Going against Kasumi now, probably wouldn't be a good idea. Suddenly she jumped from the top of the gate and landed right in front of Ranma-chan. Then looking her directly in the eye she simply stated, "Wouldn't want you to get in trouble at school, now would we?"
"I… but- you…. I still…" Ranma-chan hung her head and stared at the ground, once again defeated by this twisted Kasumi.
Kasumi then pulled out the girls' school uniform and handed it t o Ranma-chan, "Have fun! Oh, and don't get it damaged, or I'll kick your ass from here to Jusenkyou and back again!" She then shoved Ranma-chan towards the school and watched as Ranma-chan dejectedly walked to a place she could change. "Huh. While this new Ranma is fun, I do wonder what happened to the old one."
Ranma-chan nervously looked over the class; nothing major had happened during class, but that never guaranteed that something wouldn't happen during the break. The fact that Ukyou sat only three seats away was not helping this. At least Akane had kept herself under control it had seemed, and Ranma-chan had only found her hand trying to reach up her shirt three times so far today, this was substantially better then the previous days. Though Ranma-chan always looked at the grand picture when deciding of a day was good or bad, now, looking back to before this entire mess started, it would be horrible, but comparatively it was much better. This of course, did not change the fact that Ranma-chan was getting groped by Akane in the middle of class.
Over in Ranma-chan's bag, sat a small black piglet, which is commonly referred to as Ryouga. As he sat there in the bag, another iCep descended upon him. His grand rival in Ranma-chan's love was within his view, right next to the bag he had snuck into. Ryouga had managed to pick up on the subtlehints that Ranma-chan left behind indicating that she didn't like the constant molestations. He now had two choices in front of him; he could just sit on the sidelines and continue to watch the obscene charade that Akane was enacting, or he could leave the bag and defend Ranma-chan. Now what would come from the first choice would be no harm to him, though Ranma-chan would be annoyed greatly by the actions of his greatest rival in love, Akane Tendo. Though if he followed the second choice, he would be able to stop Tendo's actions, but possibly at the cost of being beat up by the said girl in his pig form, or even worse Ranma-chan getting angry for him even being in there, since sneaking into ones school bag is hardly considered normal. So to go out and save Ranma-chan from the horrors of Akane, or stay safe in the bag and not get in trouble, he just couldn't decide. Seconds later due to mental strain and the fact Ranma-chan threw a text book in there which had hit him squarely on the head; Ryouga finally came to a decision: fall unconscious.
Time had passed, that fact was obvious to Ryouga, mainly because he was now sitting on Ranma-chan's sleeping pad amidst her books and school things, that, and she was giving him something rather close to a death glare.
"It's wonderful, ya know, to find what appears to be a dead pig in your bag when ya dump it out right after eating a meal with those psychopaths down there." She commented as she began putting her things back into the small bag. Ranma-chan then watched as Ryouga dashed away and was out of the room mere seconds later. "He's probably embarrassed."
Moments passed and now Ranma-chan was looking through one of the school books in a attempt to cement all of what she had been told in class that day, it wasn't quite working well. "Arg! This is pointless! I can't think in these stupid conditions!" She then threw the book across the room, but instead of the sound of it hitting the wall, the sound more resembled hitting a person which is exactly what it did.
"Ow! Dang, what's with you?" It was of course Ryouga.
It was night now, and Ukyou moved quickly through the trees and over the tops of buildings towards her prey, she would not lose tonight. Unlike the past dozen attempts of this, she was sure this one would be fool proof. Gracefully she landed on the very edge of the window, and began the careful work of opening it up and yet making absolutely no noise. "Success!" She whispered quietly to herself. Slowly she creped over to only sleeping form in the room. "Perfect! This is exactly how I planed it!" Ukyou gleefully squealed, quietly of course. She carefully looked at the girl before her, while awake she was a force to be reckoned with, someone who you didn't want to be on their bad side. Though while sleeping, all sprawled out over the blankets, she appeared absolutely harmless. Carefully she closed in on the girl; she was now kneeling down and only inches away from the girl. "Sham-chan I love you!" Ukyou yelled as she buried her face into Shampoo's chest
"Get out pervert girl!" Shampoo screamed as she threw Ukyou out the window. She then leaned out the window, "Come back again and you'll find yourself in spring of drowned rat!" She then slammed the window shut and slid back into bed. "Next time I call the cops." She muttered as she tried back into a blissful sleep rather unsuccessfully.
"Wha-what do you mean Ryouga?" Ranma-chan asked as she scooted backwards on her mat until she hit the wall.
"Ranma, I may not be the most observant person in the world, but I believe I can tell when you have a dramatic change in personality, now tell me what's wrong?" He asked with determination in his voice.
Ranma-chan scoffed and laughed bitterly, "Really, it's not as if you, of all people, would actually understand. I told Kuno, Kodachi, and Tarou, they might have said they believed me, but I'm almost sure I saw doubt there."
He shrugged, "Try, you might be surprised at what can happen."
Ranma-chan sighed into her hands, "Ughh, might as well." Ranma-chan looked up directly into Ryouga's eyes, "Now, I'm not crazy. In no way have I made any of this up. You see, everyone else is the one who's not acting normal!"
"You don't say." Ryouga said as he took a sit right next to Ranma-chan.
"I'm serious! Everyone as I remember them is different then they act now! Akane would rather beat on me and attack me for everything I say then molest me for it. Mom would cut off my head for doing anything feminine. Then there was Mousse and Shampoo! Mousse was always blaming me for stealing Shampoo from him, when I actually never tried anything with her, and Shampoo, she was always jumping on me and sneaking into my bed. Soun Tendo lacks any sort of spine, and my father could care less about my well being, and never seemed to care what happened as long as he was okay! Oh, and Ukyou! That's a big change, she was always claiming me as her fiancé and stuff, ya know, always trying to get on my good side and seeming like she was the good guy. That's not even half the people I know! I don't even want to get into the mental issues the Kuno's have!" Ranma-chan looked down and started messing around with the skirt of the school uniform, which she still hadn't changed out of.
"So what about me?" Ryouga questioned.
A small smirk appeared on Ranma-chan's face, "Well, let's see, you were one of the more interestin' ones. Your main thing was it was your self proclaimed job to 'Make my life hell and take away all my happiness,' though more often then not it was just some excuse to be mad at me for no reason. If I insulted Akane in anyway, you fought me. If I talked to Shampoo or Ukyou you attacked me for abandoning Akane. If I tried to talk to Akane you attacked me from trying to steal her from you as well!"
"Sounds like a real pain." Ryouga nonchalantly commented.
"Well it was!" She responded, "To make it worse it all started over a stupid bread fight back in school a few years ago!"
"Well there's only one thing I can do now, I guess." Ryouga leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, "From what it sounds like, you wouldn't remember this, but, quite a while ago I made a promise. I promised that I would do what I can to make you happy, and even if it ruined me, I would do it. So right now it seems the only thing I can do now is help you get things back to how you remember them." He then turned to her and smiled, "Though I do have one small condition."
Silence hung in the air for a few seconds before she responded, "And that would be?"
He was still smiling, like he had been the entire time, "I'm the one you have to fulfill that contract of Kasumi's you signed with."
Ranma-chan sat there in silence once again, not responding to him, she began to get lost in thought until Ryouga suddenly stood up and walked towards the door.
"Just kidding about that contract thing, you know I wouldn't make you do that." He said, and then slipped out of the room shutting the door behind him.
Silence was in the room once again, though now the room felt empty as well. "Huh," She muttered as she messed around with the much despised skirt, "might was well take the help."
Ukyou sat in the trash can that she had landed in after being thrown out of Shampoo's room. "Tomorrow, I'll try using the sleeping gas."
"Not a chance!" Shampoo was now leaning out her window, "Now shoo!" Shampoo then threw a glass out of her window, hitting Ukyou square in the forehead knocking her unconscious in the process. "Or do that…." She muttered as she slammed the window shut.
Kaemon: Ohh so many people are gonna thing I'm doing something after this chapter, but this is not, I repeat, NOT going to be a Ranma-chan x Ryouga fic. It is NOT. For a breif explination of what happend, let me tell you this, yes, peoples personalitys change in this story, but just becasue a person is silly and might be stupid, doesn't mean they can't understand other people and be serious once and a while. Yeah, I just want to clear that up before I actualy get someone thinking I'm writing this for a paring... Though actualy, that is my favorite pairing, so you know... I would like to eventualy write a story like that, but if I did that I would want it to be, well, you know, the actual Ryouga. Oh, and a kudos to anyone who can name 7 references I KNOWINGLY made, and which one of the refernces repeates itself, (In other words, what do I refernece twice) Albit most of these take place in the first few paragraphs but like, 2.
