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Chapter 251: The Envoys

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To Danny, putting together the diplomatic party seemed to take forever. The Regency Council, however, assured Danny that the process had been remarkably speedy and efficient.

("By human standards, or immortal ghost standards?" asked Danny.

"To be honest," said Nephthys, "Clockwork is the only one of who's really qualified to comment on human timeframes. We're called Ancients for a reason."

"And my sense of time is not precisely reliable at the moment," said Clockwork.

"Okay," said Danny. "That's cool.")

Jazz and Sojourn had been members from the very beginning. Together, they would be the face of the group. Sojourn would be in charge, and Jazz would act as a bridge between ghost and human culture. Dmitri had thoroughly claimed Sojourn as a parent and was also going with the group.

Dr. Iceclaw would act as, well, the doctor for the group. Ghosts were sturdy, but they could be hurt, and they could get sick. Considering all the enemies they might have, it only made sense to bring in a medical professional.

Next was the Chef. While she was indeed a chef, and ghosts did not generally need to eat, she was also evidently a successful spy and diplomat and had died only recently. Also, considering that there might not be a lot of ready-at-hand energy for ghosts… well, like a doctor, it only made sense to bring someone who could make food along. Plus, if they had guests, they would need to be able to entertain.

Then Mar and Lie of the Wonder Door (Danny hadn't known their full title before) had been included. Apparently, Mar was extremely even-keeled and forgiving for a ghost. She had to be, to keep operating the door between Missing Theory and Method while having a sense of wonder and curiosity as her toll. She was rated as being extremely unlikely to snap at any humans being rude. (She did, however, seem rather reluctant to be going at all.)

Last of the humanoid ghosts from the Ghost Zone was Meg Mullach, who had wanted to go for the sole and express purpose of 'cleaning a human house again.' Meg Mullach was a brownie, and apparently intended to stay in the mortal world even if the rest of the diplomatic party had to leave.

Several will-o-the-wisps were also going. Both to provide the ghosts with the energies they would need and as the ghosts most likely to avoid detection and escape if something went wrong. Danny thought that they might also be able to pump enough ectoenergy into the air to let Jazz use her abilities while in otherwise low-ectoplasm areas, but of course they hadn't tested that. The wisp in charge of the group was called Greater-Cyan.

From the Amity Park side of things there was Sam, her mother, Wes, ex-Mayor Ernesto Montez (the man could campaign, when he wasn't being forced out by a cheating supernatural opponent), Irving Burns (Danny was so pleased he'd come back as a ghost he'd started to cry), the sewer monster (evidently, a lot of humans had thought it was a joke candidate, being an urban legend – they should have known better), and Inky the cat.

A nice, rounded group, all things considered. (Wes was still having trouble accepting both that Inky was dead and that she currently had the same social standing as he did.)

The integration of Amity Park into the Infinite Realms… hadn't entirely happened yet, but it was going to (assuming the president didn't give them a 'truly amazing' deal). The representatives had come with a list of desires and requirements, and they were far from impossible demands. Things like trade agreements, exemptions from non-existent taxes, and the right of self-determination and some degree of self-governance.

A relief, really. Truly.

But with it going so well, it meant that Sam and Jazz would be leaving to Washington DC soon. Not to mention Dmitri, who he was just getting to know.

He was worried for them. Very worried for them. Even as he, Tucker, Sam, and his siblings sat on the couch and giggled at the photos Sam had taken with her powers (some of them at very awkward times and at very awkward angles), he worried.

"I'm just glad you didn't get and pictures of me in the bathroom," said Danny, who was glad for far more than that.

"Well," said Sam, blushing, the flower tucked behind her ear turning pink. "Let's just say I don't have any pictures of you in the bathroom."

"Ah," said Danny.

"We need to come up with a schedule if we keep doing this."

"But schedules are hard."

"Dude, do you want—"

"That's disgusting, Tucker."

"Wait a sec, you took pictures to look in on me, too, did you-?"

"No."

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And all too soon the day of departure arrived.

Danny turned his copy of the latest communique with the President of the United States over in his hands. They had checked and double-checked the date, time, and location with each other, an action simplified by the Unstoppable Mailman taking over the task of delivering the letters. Not that Wulf hadn't been great! It's just that the Unstoppable Mailman was the Unstoppable Mailman. Wulf just couldn't compete.

(Danny had been tempted to send Wulf with the diplomatic party as well, on the off chance that Sojourn was incapacitated or separated from the rest of the group and they needed an escape. But anything that could take out Sojourn could certainly take out Wulf, and Wulf, sadly, was not the best-spoken of ghosts.)

Something of a celebration had been put together to send the diplomatic part off. Tucker was crying for reasons Danny wasn't entirely clear on – but then, Danny felt a little like crying, too, sending his friends off like this. Sending his sister and brother off like this.

He was going to miss them.

With a wave of his hand, Sojourn established the portal in the middle of the great hall. It whirled slowly, like and yet unlike the Fenton Portal.

(The Fenton Portal had been built, at least partially, so that biased beliefs about ghosts could be confirmed. Hopefully, this would do the opposite, and act as a true bridge between worlds.)

(The last phrase had been used several times in his letters, and the letters of the Regency Council, to the president. The repetition was unlikely to make it become true, but it couldn't hurt.)

The diplomatic party filed through the portal in small groups. When the last wisp went through, the portal spun itself shut.

"Alright, then," said Nephthys, brightly, putting a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Clockwork, what do you say about teaching Danny and Skulker here how to control the thrall armies?"

"Wait, what?" asked Danny, twisting to look at Nephthys, "now?"

"I would say," said Clockwork, gravely, "that it's about time."

Danny stared. As did every ghost in earshot.

(Danny was staring because the pun was so terrible, but the rest of the ghosts were staring like Clockwork had… well, done the equivalent of a human growing an extra head. Clockwork growing a second head would likely have been treated with less incredulity.)

A second later, Clockwork cracked a grin.

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Dmitri's first impression of the human world was that it was bright, but not in the same way as the ever-glowing Infinite Realms were. He had memories of Earth, of course, both from his siblings and from his brief time before—

He broke off the thought, shuddering. He wasn't angry at Danny for what happened. It was obvious even at the time that Danny wasn't in control of the situation. But still…

Dmitri wasn't ready to think about it.

But remembering Earth and being on Earth, in full possession of his faculties, were two very different propositions.

He snuggled closer to Sojourn's neck, glad that his smaller, wisp-like form could fit inside his parent's wide collar. Here, the sun did not hit him quite as directly. Here, he was guarded from the flashing lights of cameras.

His second impression was of noise. Clicking, snapping, whispering, a few shouts here and there. It wasn't any louder that the scene they'd just left in Libra, but that crowd had all been on their side. That crowd had been cheering them on. This was different.

And the emotions—

If Dmitri had been an adult, he would have pulled in on himself, declined to absorb the energies that saturated the air. But he wasn't and he couldn't, so instead he felt slightly nauseous.

There was shock, horror, anger, curiosity, excitement, something Dmitri would hesitantly label as religious in some way, fear, hatred, optimism, hope, and others he couldn't immediately name, all of them swirling around in a sickening emotional soup. He squeaked, and Sojourn patted him consolingly, a soft, reassuring purr in his throat.

Right. Dmitri could do this. He could. He didn't even have to do anything, really, just… not disrupt things. He could to that.

"Ghost hunters mixed in with the SS," whispered Jazz. "Not GIW. I think they called themselves the Extreme Ghostbreakers or something like that."

"Good catch."

"Not really. That armor is pretty recognizable."

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Jazz scanned the crowd below the stairs for other recognizable ghost hunters but came up empty. She hadn't exactly made an attempt to memorize the faces of ghost hunters, of course, so that didn't necessarily mean anything.

The crowd didn't seem overly hostile, although there were some rather upset faces present, and many people were wearing what looked to Jazz's admittedly inexperienced eye to be political symbols that hadn't existed before. She swept her eyes over the crowd again. Pins, colored hats, arm bands… the colors were grouped. If it had been red and blue, she would have dismissed it as typical political posturing, but the colors included white, yellow, orange, green, and purple, as if there were multiple conflicting groups, or as if the people involved hadn't decided on their symbolism yet.

It did not escape her notice that the colors involved contrasted strongly with the typical ghostly green.

Mar, acting as herald, cleared her throat. "Lord Ambassador Sojourn, Ancient Master of Space and Regent for his Highness Prince Phantom. Princess Jasmine of the Infinite Realms, Deputy Ambassador." She bobbed a small bow. "Learned Doctor Iceclaw Maznenx of the Far Frozen." She paused. "We are also joined by representatives from Amity Park. I have the honor to introduce Representative Inky the Cat, Honored of the Amity Council of Cats, Speaker to Tigers and Ravens, Representative Samantha 'Sam' Manson, Representative Pamela Manson, Representative Wesley 'Wes' Weston, Representative Ernesto Montez, Representative Irving 'Third Degree' Burns, and Representative Great Filter of the Unclean Lands, Eater of Refuse, Lurker Beneath the Roadways, Janet the It, Sewer Monster."

Then Mar stepped back. The ghosts who would be serving as staff, the Chef, Meg Mullach, Mar, Lie, and the wisps, went unintroduced, as was their desire.

The president, all the way on the other side of the broad landing, visibly swallowed, his eyes on the sewer monster. It was only to be expected, after all. Janet was taller even than Iceclaw, its sinuous, many-legged body covered with shiny, slimy scales, its teeth huge.

Janet was likely not the most politic of representatives to send, but it was certainly, well, representative of the diversity to be found in the Infinite Realms.

But Jazz did have to wonder how many people on the fence Janet's appearance had knocked off. Internally, she tsked at herself for the thought. It was unworthy of her, overly political and cynical.

Whatever. If they couldn't deal with Janet, a very polite sewer monster, then it wasn't worth trying to deal with them. They could pack their bags and go home, figure out if there were other countries willing to open trade and peace.

America was not the only player here, just the one they had to handle first, because of the mess with the GIW.

The president strode forward, only for a member of the secret service to stop him. He whispered something in the president's ear, but the president, with an obviously strained and slightly incredulous smile, waved him off. "These people can shoot lasers out of their hands and open multidimensional portals, and you're worried about her swords?" he whispered through clenched teeth. "Not the time."

He continued forward and offered Sojourn his hand. "Well," he said, "I'm President Klein, and it is my pleasure to be the first to welcome you to Washington DC."

"Thank you. It has certainly been a while since I was last in these parts of the universe. I believe this was all underwater the last time I came by."

"When you were, ah, alive?"

"Not at all," said Sojourn.

"Man," said Irving to Jazz, "this is sure a change from working at the ol' Nasty. Remember the last time we were up on stage together?"

Jazz remembered that Mr. Lancer had accidentally made him cry, but she decided not to bring that up.

"Top student and bottom student – really exceptional, huh? We're both in the same place now. It's so weird." He paused. "I'm going to die."

Saying 'you're already dead' would definitely be insensitive.

"I have to admit," said the president, having introduced his staff and the people who would be their primary points of contact, "you aren't quite what I was expecting. I'll have to get rid of that image horror movies have given me of ghosts."

"That would likely be a good first step, yes," said Sojourn.