Chapter 253: Command

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"What are you doing to your leg, ghost child?" asked Skulker, stiffly.

"It hurts," said Danny, rubbing his calf. "We're still working on the glass problem."

"The what?"

"My leg is turning into glass."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, kids! It's time to learn how to control the thrall armies!" said Nephthys, enthusiastically.

"Why isn't Fright Knight doing this?" asked Danny. "Isn't he in charge of managing thralls?"

"Because he's teaching Damien about jump scares, and I took over a lot of the management aspects while he was trapped in the pumpkin. Any other questions?"

"Do I have to be here?" asked Skulker.

"Since you're the First of Generals, yes."

"Is it too late to resign?"

Nephthys started laughing. And kept laughing. Wow, not having lungs really help on the 'laughing derisively' front. "Yes," she said, finally, wiping a (fake) tear from her eye. "Now, come on, we want to do this before those GIW guys are executed and you have to deal with new thralls."

"That sounds unethical."

Nephthys shrugged. "More unethical than destroying the universe?"

"No. Still."

"Don't worry, we're effectively just using their bodies. If they had souls, they're long gone by the time they're made into thralls. Lights on, no one home. That's what thralls are."

"And," added Clockwork, "that's why it's important to learn how to control and order them effectively. They follow the will of those with the authority to control them. Daniel, I'm sure you've read enough science fiction to understand why that might be a dangerous thing."

"They're like an army of robots," said Danny.

"And, like an army of robots, individuals also have a tendency to become sentient at unfortunate times."

Danny looked at Nephthys accusatorily. "I thought you said—"

"Not like that," reassured Clockwork. "It is simply that ready-made ectoplasmic bodies can be attractive to some consciousnesses, regardless of various downsides. Generally speaking, the 'sentience' is a blob ghost that's made itself at home."

Danny had more or less expected that, but it was nice to have it confirmed. "Well, either way, I'd prefer to have hostages we can trade than thralls. It'd be nice of the courts made their minds up about what to do and what to allow already."

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"The first thing I have to stipulate going forward," said the president, steepling his hands, "is that we put a high priority on having American citizens, and, indeed, all living people, returned. Of course, we are also dedicated to ensuring that those responsible both for the attack on your country and for the attack on the American city of Amity Park face consequences for their actions."

"Forgive me, Mr. President," said Sojourn, "but that seems like a contradiction to me."

"It is our position that humans should be punished by human laws. We are aware that your mindsets are alien to our own. But, more importantly, if you insist on punishing Americans according to your laws, we will have no choice but to prosecute those of your people we are holding to the full extent of our laws. Regardless of provocation, they crossed our borders with an army and attacked people, the same as the GIW."

"The GIW was also threatening the very existence of our world, and yours," said Jazz.

"Something we only have your word for," interjected Freakshow.

"I could give you an overview of the science behind it," said Mar, "although I must admit it isn't my specialty. The basics are rather straightforward."

"That's alright," said the president. "I probably wouldn't understand it, anyway—"

"That's why we'd start with the basics—"

"—but if you could give a written explanation to some of our scientists, that would be lovely."

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"I'm not entirely sure why Amity Park and Elmerton want to secede. You would be an exclave, entirely surrounded by the US. Your ability to trade and receive goods would be limited. You might not be able to get the water or food you'd need."

"Are you threatening to cut off our access to the river?" asked Pamela. "That kind of environmental warfare is frowned upon by the international community. How many countries would shift their borders if only a river could be moved? How many cities starved out, replaced with 'better' ones?"

"That was not my intention, Mrs. Manson. I only meant to point out that cities like Amity Park and Elmerton need a lot of resources. Resources I'm not sure the Infinite Realms can provide."

"Mrow," said Inky, hopping from Wes's shoulder and onto the table.

"Ah," said the president.

"The cat—" started one of the president's aides.

"Mrow, miaow. Yao. Mrrt."

Jazz kept an eye on the president as Inky spoke. It was probably sadistic of her, but watching him visibly age as his eyes flicked from attentive ghost to attentive ghost to rapt ghost.

"Nyannya myaaaaarwt." The cat bobbed her head as she finished.

"Well said!" exclaimed Mar, clapping her hands. Lie flexed her wings, and the president startled somewhat, being both unaware of Lie's nature and unfamiliar with most forms of ghostly telekinesis.

"She said that the Ghost Zone is currently providing all the trade Amity and Elmerton need, and that the example of Harmony indicates that even within the Ghost Zone itself mixed human and ghost communities can exist and thrive." Wes, translating, looked equally dead inside. (When had he learned how to speak cat, anyway?)

"Harmony?"

"A small community that consists of both humans and ghosts, located in the Infinite Realms," explained Sojourn.

"And… why are they there?"

"Kidnapped, most likely," said Freakshow.

"You are literally the only kidnapper at this table," snapped Sam. "Unless one of these guys," she waved at the veteran politicians gathered by the president, "has a history we don't know about."

"Sam," murmured Jazz.

"Which I'm sure they don't," finished Sam.

"The tendency of ghosts to abduct humans is well documented. To the point that being spirited away is still part of the common vernacular."

"Mr. Showenhower," snapped the president. "I'm sure that kidnapping is just as frowned upon among ghosts as it is here."

It… really wasn't. A little kidnapping wasn't much of an issue between beings that were essentially immortal. And since families rarely crossed over in their entirety, picking up stray children was adoption, not kidnapping. It certainly wasn't a Taboo, unless mind control or other similar forces were involved.

In short – kidnapping was a minor crime at best.

That wouldn't be a diplomatic thing to say, however.

"But, if we can get back to the original point… How large is this Harmony, how many humans are there, and why?"

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"Mr. Showenhower," said the president, once the Ghost Zone and Amity Park delegations had left again, "as you cannot refrain from insulting our guests, I am removing you from contact with them."

"Are you firing me? And replacing me with whom, exactly? I'm your only real expert."

"Oh, I'm not firing you. You've been boasting about your prowess and skill with ghosts so much… it'd be a shame not to put it to use. You'll go to where we're holding the captured ghosts. And you will be closely monitored to make sure you behave. I don't want to be accused of war crimes against ghosts."

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Freakshow maintained a chastised and disappointed expression just long enough to get out of sight. Access to ghosts not partnered with insufferable humans who had somehow connived and contrived to get the power and control he had always wanted, always craved, always deserved. Jasmine Fenton was a child. She had everything fall into her lab while he, who researched and bled for his craft and knowledge, was barred from what he had earned?

He barred his teeth in something that might have been called a smile. No.

But this so-called punishment? This threat over his behavior? It was nothing.

This was according to plan. After all, what better place for a future monarch than a small army of ghosts?

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"Finally," said Danny, once Hemlock finished relaying the results of the initial committee's deliberation. "That's great. I need to send a letter to Sojourn and Jazz right away. They need to know that prisoner exchanges are on the table." He turned to one of the wisps that floated near him. He'd been using them as pages of a sort. "Can you check and see if the Unstoppable Mailman is still here? Or Wulf? Or one of those Pony Express people that were floating around?"

He located a pencil and started jotting down notes. He'd send a more formal follow-up later, with the blessing of the Regents, but it was important for them to know what… He frowned. He should really write this in something other than English, in case it was intercepted (however unlikely that was).

One of Clockwork's ramblings during his experiments with the thralls had touched on information security. It had sounded important. Important enough that Danny was sort of kicking himself for not coming up with a code before he sent his family and friends off.

If it was really that important, though the Regency Council should have said something. Would have said something. Probably. Hm.

He'd just write it in ghost.