I have found my brother in his bed,
My heart is glad beyond all measure.
We each say:
"I will not tear myself away."
My hand is in his hand.
I wander together with him
To every beautiful place.
He makes me the first of maidens,
Nor does he grieve my heart.
~Ancient Egyptian Love Poem
Staring out at the vast desertscape, Ka wished he could pause to simply enjoy it. The way the yellow sand sparkled on the dunes under the purple-pink of the brightening sky, the distant rushing waters of the Great River sounding like a powerful heart pumping lifeblood through her kingdom.
It was surreal to gaze out and think of the miles of mountains and hills, deserts and vineyards, ancient pyramids and lush oases—and know it had all almost been his.
Had Tutankhamun never returned, those pyramids would have been his to destroy or replicate, wars would have been his to wage or mitigate; he would have been the living god on earth. A queasiness settled in the pit of his stomach when he considered the chaotic freefall his life had been in since that point.
He had cheated a death sentence, escaped the capital city undetected, and eloped with the queen of Egypt. He had lost his titles, his ancestral lands, wealth—almost everything he cared about.
But now wasn't the time to dwell, he had to focus. The practice was second nature to Ka after so many years of campaigns and excursions, and his trained eye knew exactly what he was looking for: signs of life. Smoke, movement, unnatural calm, disruptions in the wilderness that would alert him to the presence of others.
This path was rarely used but a patrol had been out that way less than a month prior. The unit had occupied the area and confirmed that the well was still good, so Ka was less concerned with raiders from the borderlands or campground conditions than he was with the possibility of interlopers.
They had gotten too far to be recognized by the wrong group of travelers. Of course the illness had cut trade and travel between cities, but he didn't think he could be too careful.
In the early dawn, the stars twinkled and all was peaceful on the horizon. He looked back to the massive rockface to the east that stood as a protective backdrop for their layover campground; it would keep the cabin and the animals' lean-to completely shaded from the hot midday sun. Upon seeing Ankhesenamun outside of the tent, Ka smiled fondly despite the headache that raged behind his eyes.
He had lost almost everything. Even now, in her borrowed dress of coarse linen and weary from a night of travel, a regal air surrounded her; it was truly remarkable. Ever the queen, no matter time or place.
He could hear her thoughts as she stared now at the ties in concentration, walking herself through the process step by step, and looping the ties to secure another section of the tent roof. Agitatedly, she flipped a lock of hair that had fallen out of her braid before continuing to the next piece of fabric.
Ka sighed and rolled his shoulders, willing his body to stop its aching before she noticed his discomfort and used it as leverage to do more of the work. She had argued vehemently to help set up camp when they arrived, and was now arranging the canvas tarps over the permanent shelter.
Ankhesenamun was an unforeseen complication.
It wasn't that Ka wasn't happy to have her with him, no; his selfish heart wanted her with him always, but he was afraid. While he wasn't pleased to be living as a peasant, a myriad of skills ranging from horse-training to masonry to reading and writing had him set up for success. He was certain he would be able to navigate whatever fate threw at him. He could do fine—he could make a life.
On the other hand, Ankhesenamun would give it an honest try, but Ka was afraid she would find herself hating this life. She would spend the rest of her days yearning for the gilded luxury only kings could afford, and for the title and prestige that were her birthright.
The worst part was that she would never complain. She would put on a brave face and survive, the way she had through every hardship thrust upon her. That wasn't what Ka wanted for her, to grin and bear their marriage. Not to mention, their child, who would grow up in a profoundly different way than either of them had. Even with the income they would surely be able to attain in time, their child would be born a commoner; the knowledge of their royal heritage would remain secret. It would break Ankhesenamun's heart.
With that disconcerting thought, he walked back down the dirt path to the small structure. She looked up at him from her crouched position upon his approach.
"Maybe you should have been in the navy, Ankhe."
She gave the knot a final tug, shooting him an amused glance. "I think my talents are of best use here...besides, too many hippos."
"More's my good fortune. Have you thought of a name yet for yourself?" Ka asked, offering his hands to help her stand.
They had discussed needing new identities on the off chance they ended up on a census or in a report back to government officials. Not to mention that they couldn't hardly let their host know who they really were.
"Not yet, I believe something will feel right when I come upon it. Have you?"
"There was a mercenary in one of my battalions a few years ago, I happened to be the presiding captain at the camp when he enlisted. His name was Sekhen. He died on the battlefield. He was from an outskirt of Sau, he had no paperwork confirming his identity and I had to register him on the assignment charter. Nobody will be the wiser, but if someone were to look into my past, they would find someone who fits the description," he replied. There was a faint rustling in the savannah grass, and Ka scanned the area once more. "Do you remember what I told you?"
"Stab upwards, aim for the kidney, and avoid the ribs to make sure the knife is not stuck in the body?" Ankhesenamun ventured with a cheeky smile, producing the small knife from the concealed pocket of her skirt. "I take it you never gave my brother such detailed instruction."
He tilted his head, but his mouth twitched in amusement at her unexpected quip. But they had to joke about it, didn't they? The only other option was to brood over what had passed and allow it to slowly poison them, so Ka would take this any day.
"A grave loss on his part."
"That remains to be seen." She pursed her lips but a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
As they both laughed, it felt like the tense shroud that fell over them during their journey was lifted. She may have gotten a reputation as a sharp-tongued cutthroat among courtiers, but Ka remembered a time when her laughter would ring across the courtyard, when she was never without a smile. Perhaps there was hope for her happiness yet.
Before he could be lost in further introspection, he looked back out at the skyline. "There are few travelers along this route, but we are in a very vulnerable position without a group. We will have to remain vigilant."
At his comment, her teasing expression narrowed in suspicion. "I will not let you sit up all day long, if that is what you mean."
She was too astute for her own good. Ka felt a wave of anxiety welling up in his chest, and Ankhesenamun reached out to stroke the muscles of his upper arms soothingly. She glanced over him with a critical eye.
"You are exhausted, and despite my best efforts you still managed to do almost all of the unpacking. Go, rinse the dirt off."
The well water was beautifully cool against Ankhesenamun's overheated skin, and she yearned for a pool to wade into, somewhere to soak her aching back, but found that just rinsing the sweat off and changing into her own white dress gave her enough relief to appreciate the work she had done.
Their entire tent and the effects arranged inside were her doing, and she was rather proud of how cozy the space looked. The sense of purpose also gave her a reprieve from the racing thoughts that oscillated from an almost giddy delirium to an overwhelming sense of horror at what she had just done.
Dawn was only just breaking, her brother was probably still asleep, blissfully unaware of how different his world would be in the morning. He would be alright. He didn't want her guidance any longer, he had Lagus and Suhad and his own wisdom. She simply stood in the way of his happiness. Ankhesenamun could only pray that Suhad had as much fortitude as she seemed to; she would need it.
Speaking of happiness, she would have liked to be more helpful, but Ka seemed determined to shoulder the majority of the work. He looked like hell, and she was amazed he was still functioning after so many hours.
Before they left, Gyasi read Ka the riot act regarding his health, and she was glad to have been there to hear it. Even with the wound itself closed, it would take months before his blood was strong again. He may suffer headaches, body aches, nausea, and even fainting spells if he pushed himself too hard. Silly men and their pride—Ankhesenamun made sure to keep an eye on him as they unpacked and planned to do so for the foreseeable future.
After cleaning up the remnants of her breakfast, she sat on the makeshift bed of blankets and combed out her hair, waiting for Ka. It would not do to fall asleep without even bidding him goodnight. Chuckling in disbelief—part of her still couldn't believe she had done this—Ankhesenamun continued to work out the kinks with a comb, singing a poem to herself.
"I have found my brother in his bed, my heart is glad beyond all measure. We each say: 'I will not tear myself away.' My hand is in his hand, I wander together with him to every beautiful place..."
Ka appeared in the doorway; he seemed to have already bathed but still looked worse for wear. She smiled up at him, and he came to sit beside her on the blankets. Saying nothing, he simply wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.
Gazing over her shoulder at him affectionately, Ankhesenamun reached out and stroked the angle of his jaw, her fingers grazing over the faint stubble. "...He makes me the first of maidens, nor does he grieve my heart."
"I never want to grieve your heart," he murmured, holding her tightly and burying his face in the crook of her neck.
She hummed her approval, and snuggled back against him until she was fully enveloped in his arms. His bare chest was warm and welcoming against her skin, but he seemed tense.
"I need you to promise me something."
Ankhesenamun waited to hear his request before agreeing. He rubbed his hands over her arms reassuringly, but his expression was somber. "I need you to let me know if at any point you find yourself unhappy and regret this choice."
"Are you already trying to run out on me?" She tried to come off humorously, but concern bled into her tone. She looked down at the bed blankets.
"Of course not, Ankhe. Besides if our second marriage contract is anything like the first one you drew up...I don't think I'll be legally allowed to run off on you."
She snickered at that, thinking back on the almost absurd marriage contract she had Ay draw up—how fun it was to irk the covetous old man. To create such an extravagant display of affection for a pharaoh that Ay didn't deem worthy or capable. "You were absolutely able to divorce me, you just had to pay me five-hundred times my weight in gold."
Ka grinned. Leaning in, he wrapped an arm around her and turned her face to his, kissing her with unexpected ardor that set her heart racing. "If memory serves right, I was also supposed to build you a palace made entirely from one piece of limestone."
In that moment, Ankhesenamun found herself smiling stupidly, feeling such joy despite the circumstances. She gave him a teasing peck and allowed her hands to linger on his face. "I believe you still have to honor those original obligations. Looking back now, I realize that I never stopped being married to you, Ka."
He blinked softly, mulling over her words. "And here I thought there was a moment you hated me for what I had done."
Ankhesenamun regarded him tenderly in the dim light as something from Suhad, of all people, floated to her mind. "You and I have both made mistakes, and I'm sure we will make many more in this new life. But I was told once that loving someone means loving them when it is easy, but also being the one to love them when it is hard. All I ask is that you give me the same forgiveness that I gave you."
Slowly, she traced down his jaw to his collarbone, touching his skin and allowing her eyes to wander his naked upper half. There wasn't a soft patch on him. Even now, after being laid up from injury, he was finely muscled. The way his red-brown eyes gazed at her with such doting intensity caused her stomach to clench and toes to curl.
Never breaking eye contact, Ka trailed his fingers over her stomach, a smile ghosting over his lips at the small bump. Shivers ran down her spine at the perfectly unvarnished intimacy, and Ankhesenamun slid the straps of her dress over her shoulders, leaving the sheer linen to pool around her waist. Reaching back for his hand, she placed it again on the heated skin of her stomach.
In return, he hugged her tightly and kissed down her neck, his other hand smoothing up her ribs to cup her breast. She sighed and leaned back into him, allowing herself to think of nothing other than how sublimely rough his fingers were as they dragged over her hypersensitive skin.
"Do you know how perfect you are?" Ka whispered in her ear.
She shivered, his husky voice sent a jolt deep to her core. He had such a sexy voice: just deep enough, just rich enough. Spreading out his touches between each breast, he tortured her until she brazenly pushed herself into his hands.
"Ka..." Ankhesenamun breathed.
Ka continued down her body, trailing down past her stomach and to the swath of dress that hid the rest of her nakedness. Needing to touch him, she gripped his hair as his hand roved downward still. His lips brushed over her ear, working his hand under the fabric and pausing to caress the sensitive skin below her hip bone. In the haze of her mind, Ankhesenamun knew he was waiting for her blessing.
And she loved him for it. He always asked, never assumed, never sought to take things from her. "Please."
Touching that place between her legs once more, he slid tantalizingly along the glistening depths. Never breaking eye contact, he watched her breath quicken and eyes darken luminously as she fell apart under his hand.
Ka recaptured her mouth as his thumb brushed over her clit, and she bit down on his lip in search of relief from the mounting pressure. Circling the sensitive flesh, he slid a finger inside, licking into her mouth at her sharp intake of breath. With blood roaring in her ears, the tension that coiled in her abdomen was almost beyond bearing.
Turning around to face him, Ankhesenamun wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing herself to be guided down against the blankets.
It was a seamless adjustment. Kissing her languidly, his lips then trailed down her body. It took only a quick glance, his eyes glittering wickedly, for her body to be again on the precipice. Just imagining his mouth on her, a quiet plea fell from her lips. In a million years, Ankhesenamun never thought she could lay naked like this, be stroked and kissed so intimately, by anyone other than Ka.
Grabbing her hips, he pulled her closer to his mouth. Tasting, nipping, and licking, his hands firmly clasped to her backside, so even as her hips began to buck shamelessly, she remained at his mercy. All at once, a spasm ripped through her and her world shattered. Her hands digging into his hair and shoulder, she vaguely heard herself cry his name.
Even coming down from her high, Ankhesenamun swore she saw stars and fought to calm her racing heart as Ka moved back up her body. Wrapping her arms around his neck, their harsh breaths mingled and she traced her tongue along his lip. He tasted like her.
"I believe you give new meaning to 'silver-tongued'," Ankhesenamun murmured, stroking his face. Ka took her hand in his, kissing her knuckles, and the longer she held his gaze, the more she found herself overwrought. "Thank you."
Ka grinned deviously at her praise. "For what?"
Running a hand over his back, her expression was frank. "For everything. For nothing. For never giving up on me even when I was worth giving up on. For making me feel like I always had an ally. For this."
Ankhesenamun silently praised Isis for bringing her this man. For making him handsome and kind, brave and good. Most of all, for making him bull-headed enough to pursue the queen of Egypt despite all the common sense in the world telling him not to.
His face fell as he considered her words. "You were always worth it."
A swell of profound adoration struck her, and with it came the awareness of just how badly she ached for him. Kneeling so they were eye to eye, she raked her hands through his mess of curls and turned his face up to look at her.
"I love you." Ankhesenamun leaned in so their bodies were flush.
Ka smiled against her lips as she gave him a long tender kiss, straddling his lap. He grabbed her hips with intent and guided her down onto him. Ankhesenamun gasped, the angle allowing her to feel the invasion inch by deliciously agonizing inch. His fingers bit into her skin, and with foreheads pressed together, they exhaled in unison when she finally took all of him.
How could she have lived without this? Looking down at him, she found him gazing up at her with undisguised warmth. The lonely memory paled in comparison to having him here with her, flesh and blood, secure in their knowledge that this thing between them was sacred. Slowly, she rocked her hips, letting out a whimper as he brushed against that marvelous spot inside of her. Once confident she was adjusted to him, he thrust his hips upward, matching her slow rhythm.
"Ka...oh..."
In an effort to be closer to him, she took his hand, lacing their fingers together. It was she who set the pace for them now, painfully pleasurable in its languor, which allowed them to bask in their tender intimacy.
"Ankhesenamun...fuck." He thrust up harder.
She whimpered in response—she was so close, but it seemed that he already knew. Gazing down, she met his eye. He looked beautiful under her, his light golden skin covered in a sheen of sweat and a faint blush on his cheek. She could do little more than brace her hands on his chest, matching each deep thrust as it hit a divine place inside her.
Watching her with dark starry eyes, Ka slid one hand from her hip up to her breast, squeezing and flicking roughly. Ankhesenamun cried out, even knowing her nails would leave red marks over his skin, she couldn't help but cling to him. Every snap of hips stoked the fire within her, earning filthy praises of encouragement, until her words began to lapse into no more than garbled pleas as their pace became erratic.
Therewas nothing outside of this moment, this intense love. To see his pleasure beneath her, because of her, filled her with a sense of carnal satisfaction, and when her name fell from his lips, so perfectly husky and wrecked, her world exploded into mindless euphoria.
A delicious shiver ran up her spine, and she felt herself convulse around him, further lost in the waves of pleasure when he followed soon after. Her breath hitched as he pulled her down into a kiss.
Ka panted as they separated. "That was..."
"Exactly as it should be," Ankhesenamun finished.
She leaned down to kiss him again. Even now, the feeling of his heated chest against her breasts gave her a delicious chill. He smoothed the mess of black waves away from her face before pulling her closer with a weary smile. She snuggled down onto him.
As sleep sought to pull her under, Ankhesenamun blinked her heavy eyelids, resting her chin on his chest. "I promise."
Glossary of Historical Information:
Brother/sister — In ancient Egypt, a common form of endearment for a lover or spouse was to call them "brother" or "sister". This was not incestuous, but meant that the two people were closer than married, they were blood, and cared for each other as siblings would.
Marriage contract — because women and men enjoyed equal citizenship, marriage and divorce were both common and normalized. As with modern marriage, ancient Egyptians wrote contracts that often contained prenups or stipulations should the couple divorce and on what grounds the wealth should be divided.
