Chapter five
Lost in his own thoughts he sank down onto his bed. He was unaware of how long he'd been sitting there but when he opened his eyes he was alone again and the door was shut tight.
He held Bianca's athame for a long while contemplating the consequences of returning his brother's powers.
He needed strength but his dilemma was that the main person he always drew strength from was the one person he could barely stand the sight of. He was stuck.
His dark hair fell in his eyes as he began to cry his whole body shook, he just wanted to crawl in the deepest darkest whole he could find and never ever come back out.
After hours sitting alone in his room he got up and walked downstairs to the kitchen and made a sandwich he figured he'd get something to eat then do something constructive like vanquish a demon. At least that way he'd be able to vent his frustrations.
Chris Halliwell was in hell, both figuratively and literally.
The young whitelighter changed his mind and went into the lounge and watched 'Silence of the lambs' on DVD.
"Chris?" It was Wyatt's shaky voice, "Can we talk properly?"
"Yeah, later. How about we finish watching the movie?"
"Sure." Wyatt sat on the other end of the couch and soon the boys fell into an uneasy truce.
Chris grabbed the remote and switched the movie off, turned and stared at his older brother, "We can't go on like this anymore Wyatt. I can't be afraid of you, I can't keep being afraid that you are going to barge into my room and do it again I just can't!"
"I know. But I don't know how to fix it."
Blue orbs filtered into Chris' hand, he looked at the athame then up at his older brother. He was torn as to whether he would give them back, biting the bullet he gave his older brother the athame, "This is to give you back your powers. Bianca put them in there."
Wyatt looked up, "Are you absolutely sure?"
Chris nodded uneasily, "Yeah, why not huh? Maybe it'll ease some tension between us you know? Least this way we can go on a vanc together and have some fun."
Wyatt smiled, "Yeah."
Chris Halliwell smiled softly, "I just wanna be at peace Wyatt. I know it can't be like it was but I think with a little effort we'll be okay." He gestured to the athame, "So take that, we'll talk later."
Wyatt nodded and orbed to his bedroom, he put the athame on his bedside table and curled under his covers.
"Wyatt…" A voice purred in his ear, "I want you…I need you."
"Chris I can't."
Chris' hands ran up Wyatt's naked chest, "You know you want it Wyatt. You know you love me."
"No I promised you!"
Chris, who was sitting atop Wyatt's chest, pouted, "Aww, but I want you." He pulled his older brother into a deep kiss then smiled, "I love you."
Chris woke up with a start, did he really feel that way? Wyatt had hurt him, raped him and now he wanted it? No. It wasn't like that. Christopher Peregrine Halliwell did not swing that way.
He looked at his wrists, he could still see the rope burn from the last time.
"Chris?"
He saw his mother ringing her hands nervously in the doorway he grinned broadly, "Hey mum."
"You fell asleep watching your movie so I turned it off, what are you doing watching that anyway?"
He shrugged, "Anthony Hopkins is an awesome actor."
She sat down beside him and wrapped an arm over his shoulders, "Baby, I need to know if you're okay."
He nestled into the warmth of her body, "I'm okay mum, Wy and I have talked and I think things might become a little better."
Piper kissed his cheek and he flinched, "I love you mum but can you not?"
She looked at him with pained eyes "Do you want to talk about it hon?"
He shook his head in the negative but answered in the positive, "Maybe a little."
Chris leant against her and launched into his tale, ignoring the major bits that were too hard to talk about so as not to disturb his mother's already fragile state. They sat in silence for an eternity then Chris said, "Are you mad at me?"
"No Chris, dear God no."
Chris stared at her, "I just thought you would be, I mean…it was me. The screw up."
Those words terrified Piper, she'd always done her best to ensure this Chris didn't feel unloved or alone and now it seems she had failed.
