Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I don't own Naruto. I don't own Naruto. But... I own YOU! Mwahahahaha...
Inner Tsukiko: Getting in the random mood, aren't you? o.O
Tsukiko: Yeah, you can guess. Therefore, I must write a very random fanfic! Mwahahaha!
Inner Tsukiko: I was fearing that... -.- Since my Outer is just way too disturbed at the moment to do all the storytellin, er, I mean storywriting, I'm very sorry to say I have to do it instead. We present you Neji's Birthday: Welcome to Dreamland! as a late 'happy birthday' wish to Neji! Go, Neji!
Neji: ...
Inner Tsukiko: -sweatdrop- Anyhow... let's begin!


Neji's Birthday: Welcome to Dreamland!

Neji was not, and I repeat not, and once again emphasizing the word NOT having a good day.

Why, you ask? Well, let's face the problem- his HAIR.

So what's wrong with Neji's hair? It looks perfectly fine, doesn't it; pretty, black, non-shiny so that it wouldn't attract too much attention, soft, long...

Yeah, you said it. Long. Too bad it isn't anymore. (OOS (Out Of the Story) Neji: WTF? My precious HAIR isn't LONG anymore? Oh, I'm so going to kill you after this, Tsukiko...)

How come? Why wasn't Neji's hair long anymore? Well, it all began a very sunny day that was doomed to be the unluckiest of all days...

Flashback.

"Oh, Neji, just this once? Pretty, pretty please?" Tenten begged with the Almighty Puppy Eyes of Doom.

"No", Neji replied shortly.

"Oh, c'mon, Neji! Don't be so stubborn. Just this once. Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No."

Tenten put on a childish, cute pout and her puppy eyes widened even more temptingly. Neji resisted the urge to pat her head.

"I told you no, Tenten", he said as sternly as he could manage, though unfortunately (for him) he twitched a little when her hazel eyes met his white ones. Tenten noticed this, and smirked evilly.

"Tenten... what's with that smirk?" he asked in annoyance after some silence.

"Oh, nothing", Tenten said in a singsong voice innocently. "It's just that... I never thought you were weak for puppy eyes, Neji." And her puppy eyes widened even more cutely.

What the hell! Neji thought, twitching some more.

"I am not", he lied, though feeling slightly uncomfortable. "And could you put off that... look, Tenten?"

"What look?" she asked as innocently as before.

"That... the... THOSE GODDAMMNED EYES!" he exclaimed, pointing accusingly at her wide, brown eyes with a terrified face expression. Tenten laughed.

"OK, OK. If you just let me brush your hair. Please?"

"No", he instantly growled. He would NOT let Tenten brush his hair. Not since that incident when they were five and she had almost made him bald by cutting off his entire hair with a kunai, going insane at a bypassing bee. Tenten hated bees, and so he knew.

"It's that incident you're thinking about now again, isn't it?" Tenten askedsulkily. Neji flinched. Since when had she learnt to read minds? "But I'm sixteen now, Neji. I'd think I'm a bit more careful than before."

"Hn", Neji simply responded.

"C'mon! Just this once. I promise I won't do it anymore."

Neji hesitated. After all, Tenten was a close friend of his. "Alright, then", he finally gave in.

"YAY!" Tenten burst out, and immediately appeared behind him, pulling off the hair ribbon that held his hair together into a ponytail. Neji stiffened. He did NOT like this feeling...

Tenten pulled out a hair brush from nowhere and began to gently brush his hair. It felt very comfortable, and for a few minutes, Neji relaxed. Until...

... a gigantic wasp made its way towards them.

As soon as Tenten caught sight of it, she began to panic. When she brushed his hair, it almost felt as though she wanted to pull it out. Neji glanced at the bee from the corner of his eye.

"Calm it, Tenten", he said, trying not to sound panicked too.

"O-O-O-OK", Tenten said with a shuddering voice, her hands shaking. Then the wasp charged towards her hand that was still in Neji's hair. "AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" She pulled out a kunai and angrily began to try to drive away the wasp. At last, she suceeded. But when she turned back to Neji's hair...

"Oh my god. OH MY FRIGGIN' GOD", she said with a mouth shaped as an O.

"What? What's going on?" Neji demanded to know irritably.

"N-N-Neji. Your... your hair...", she whimpered.

"My hair?" Neji felt panic arise again. "What... what happened to my hair?"

"I... oh, I'm so sorry, Neji..."

"You what?"

"I... I..."

"Tell me already!"

"I..."

"Hi, guys! What're you doing this youthful morning -" Lee stopped dead in his tracks and just STARED. His eyes were even rounder and bigger than usual, mind. "Oh my god. Neji, your hair..."

"What's with my hair!" Neji wanted to know. Just then, Tenten burst into tears.

"Neji... your hair is... cut...", Lee began, but didn't get any further, because Neji ran for his life out of the training grounds towards his home. Finally back in his own room, he panted and looked in the mirror with a gasp of horror. His most beloved hair had been CUT! Again! He was almost bald, dammit! (Not really, it was just that his hair now only reached his shoulders.)

End Flashback.

So now it had passed a week, and it was Neji's birthday. He had pulled the curtains together, locked his door, and lay on his bed like all other days, his face buried in the pillow. Even though Neji did not feel sleepy at all, he tried desperately to sleep. He couldn't train indoors, and he couldn't go outdoors because of how he looked like. So, solution? Sleep. Perfect - forget everything and travel to Dreamland. Nothing could be better.

Unfortunately for him, he had already slept all night, so now he was feeling completely refreshed and ready to go training. Even more unfortunate was that he couldn't go training when he looked like that.

And as all other days that week, he could hear someone knock on his door loudly.A familiar girl's voice called: "Neji! Come out, please! Let's go training!"

"No! Go away!" he shouted back exasperatedly. "Go away, Tenten!"

"I'm sorry, Neji! Can't you come out today... just today, pretty pretty please?"

"No!" he responded sourly. He was still angry with Tenten. Thanks to her, now his reputation would be ruined because of his not-training-until-my-hair-grows-out! Everybody would either think he was obsessive with his hair (a.k.a. hair freak) or that he was a lazy ass to not go training. And both options were least to say, bad.

"Neji, c'mon! It's your birthday!"

Something stung Neji's heart. But he decided to ignore it. "I don't care! Just leave me alone!"

"Neji!" Now Tenten's voice seemed really desperate, and he could've sworn it sounded as though she cried. "I've already said sorry at least hundred times, now can you come out, please?"

"I said NO!" he yelled.

"Fine! Then I won't budge from the door until you've decided to come out!" she said and he could hear her sit down on the doorstep with a 'hmph!'. Deciding to ignore it, Neji finally felt, to his delight, some exhaustion come upon him, and his eyelids began to drop...


He awoke on a fluffy pink cloud, surrounded by starlit skies and a big full moon whose light lightened up the presence of two very weird, human-like creatures. Neji immediately reached for a kunai, just to find he couldn't find any. Aware that he had fallen asleep with kunais in his mini-bag (A/N: What's those bags they carry around their legs/waists called?) he immediately knew that this couldn't be reality. Unless the two creatures had removed his weapons, of course.

"No need to fear us", said the one to the right. She was beautiful; her eyes were so pretty that he couldn't make out the colors in it, her hair was long, soft and golden, her skin smooth and somewhat pale; she was dressed in a white gown and looked mostly like an angel. "My name is Inner Tsukiko no Yuki. You can call me Inner."

On the right was a girl who looked exactly the same as Inner, except that she were in 'wrong' colors. Her eyes were red and looked like Sharingan, her hair ebony, her skin rough and abnormally pale, and she was dressed in a black gown and looked like a devil. "Che. Don't play no angel here, Inner. Hey, by the way, Hyuuga, my name is Tsukiko no Yuki. You can call me Tsukiko, or Tsuki-chan." She smirked wickedly. (OOS Tsukiko: HEY! That's just SO not real! I don't look like a devil, and you don't look like an angel, Inner!Besides, those descriptions were just SO fake!OOS Inner Tsukiko: -shrugs- So? It's my story anyway.)

"Where am I?" he asked calmly.

"You're in Dreamland", Inner declared with a warm smile. Tsukiko rolled her eyes.

"So why am I not dreaming my hair is long again? I've dreamt that for a week now, and I hoped I'd dream it again", said Neji.

"Well..." Inner tilted her head with the most innocent expression you can imagine. (OOS Tsukiko: Tsk. Yeah, right.) "You see, this is a story, and I'm the one who's deciding what will happen in the end. For instance, I can make you die at this moment and feed your bewitched soul to the dogs of Lucifer, or I could bless you and have your hair grow back again. It's all up to me, see. And I decided to have some talk with you because you're not being nice to poor Tenten in this story at the moment."

"Oh? But if you can control this story, then why don't you make me become nice?" Neji answered sarcastically.

"See, I told you he was a stubborn boy", Tsukiko snorted with a sneer at Neji which made him glare coldly in return. "Humans are just so stupid."

"You're human too, you know. It's just so happen to be that you're a devil in this story", Inner said, rolling her eyes.

"HEY!"

"Yeah, yeah. Back to the topic. If I make you become nice, then I'd ruin the entire story. And the possibility would be that you were mean again after this story has come to an end. Therefore, I must make you nice in another way. Dreams."

"Really. This is just getting more and more insane every minute, so can I get to my dream now?" Neji said impatiently.

"Fine", Inner snapped, totally losing all her innocence. "Have fun." And she did a weird hand seal that resembled a star (OOS Tsukiko: -eyes widen- COOL! How did you do that? OOS Inner Tsukiko: -sighs and hits Tsukiko on the head-) and Neji felt his mind drift away, and his eyelids close again.

And everything went black.


Tsukiko: I was afraid that this chapter would be a bit too long, so I decided to divide it into three parts - this chapter, next chapter, and the epilogue. Have fun reading and hope you enjoy the fic:)
Inner Tsukiko: -boasts- Am I not superb? You've got to admit I'm a much better author than my Outer!
Tsukiko: ... You suck.
Inner Tsukiko: HEY! Well, anyhow, see ya in next chapter! -winks-