Awareness and Funds II
II – Both
And so, it being only scarcely preferable, Hermione didn't.
In fact you might go so far as to say she went full speed ahead in the other direction and did give up the bad opinion of Luna, who was now the official spokeswitch for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare.
This had been a good decision all around, because Luna had become something of a media celebrity, liked by few but loved by reporters. (Whereas reporters had always been especially uninterested in Hermione's statements.) They could get in the papers any time they wanted.
Still, there was good cause for Hermione to get painful jitters before each and every convention. She pulled at her robes nervously (whoever had designed this latest fashionable cut was the one person deserving of slow torture) and kept reminding Luna to look at the Points.
"You do have them, don't you?" Hermione hissed, before again flashing a smile at a potential donator.
"Of course I do. They're inside my left shoe."
Hermione didn't even bat an eye, except to say, "I'd really feel much better if they were out and you were reading them."
"I know them backwards and forwards, Hermione."
"Yes, well. Do say them forwards, won't you?"
Luna considered this while they shook hands with a Belgian couple who kept pointing at the various flyers. "Well," she said, after having answered their questions, "I'll say them forwards this time. But – and don't reject this out of hand – perhaps one time we should try saying them backwards. People would then be forced to decipher them on their own… if you engage a person's whole and interactive attention you make a far greater impression… I saw that look. But all the advertisement people agree with me."
"We'll see. Let's get through tonight first."
Hermione was as excited as she was nervous. This was the first year they had managed to completely pack their annually-rented ballroom with witches, wizards, and elves. Even some higher-up types from the Ministry kept dropping in for a few minutes – at least long enough to sign the guestbook. Even Rita Skeeter looked happy. When insider rights and information on S.P.E.W. had been originally forced upon her she hadn't imagined it would ever lead to a story worth her time.
There was now a knot of reporters. Time for the speechifying. Hermione told Luna good luck rather tensely, but once Luna was actually at the podium, smiling vaguely and composedly, Hermione relaxed completely – sat down, crossed her legs comfortably, and watched with relish.
As usual, Luna was about to mow them down.
"Good morning," she began. (It was eight o'clock at night.) "We're here about house-elves, you know. Although surprisingly few wizards have ever seen them – " Hermione winced but Luna did not mention her favourite new statistic, than more wizards had an eyewitness sighting of the wereweasel than of an actual house-elf – "they're the ones that do a lot of our cooking and cleaning and a couple of other things I don't really know how to do." (There was the beginning of some polite laughter before they saw that Luna was not asking for laughs, but carrying on with all seriousness.) "Even if you're not one of the rich families that have one, you've probably been at an inn or something serviced by an elf. And there's a few at Hogwarts, I think the number's one hundred or something like that…" Luna looked down at the Points. "…so anyone who ever attended there owes a good deal to them." She looked up again, smiled, and began to twirl a bit of her hair around her finger while she leaned forward casually on her elbow.
"Most elves don't get paid. Right now there's five in this country that do. There would be six, but one died in the war. That's another Point, too. Several elves died in that war thingy we just had protecting their family. There's some child 'round here tonight who owes his life to the defence of a family elf. I don't really remember his name, but he's a chatterbox so I'm sure if you come across him tonight he'll let you know who he is.
"The elves that make this sort of sacrifice of death and dishwater hands don't really ask us wizards who benefit for anything, really. Even some of the rather independent ones get a bit ill at the thought of too much holiday time." Luna shrugged. "But that's no excuse on our part for not giving them anything. And it's really very awful that some people treat them so badly and all. There's plenty of reports of elves being beaten or jinxed. I can't see as there's any reason for that. There's no much of an excuse for treating living things that way anyway, and it's not like the elves have ever disobeyed or anything. Because they really don't." Hermione had been thinking this entire time Look at the Points! Look at the Points! Thankfully, Luna did. "Oh, right." She cleared her throat a bit. It didn't sound all too impressive. "Some people say that this sort of mistreatment doesn't happen and what would we know because we're just non-elf-owning scum?" (Sensation from some of the politely visiting opposition.) "But it's kind of funny that everyone talked about it freely before S.P.E.W. came along and only denied it once we started gaining some influence. That's all."
More sensation yet. Luna mistook it. "What's all the commotion?" she said vaguely. "Oh, you're laughing at our name. Some people do think it's pretty funny. You should have heard what my friend Ronald used to say about it. But it very much hurts the president's feelings… so if everyone would please refrain… after all," she finished, abruptly stern, "has anyone ever considered what the acronym for the British Ministry of Magic means in Shublugese?"
"What's it mean?" queried one of those thin-voiced, anonymous sort of reporters.
Luna giggled. "Something I can't have you repeating in a family newspaper. My family's in the business as well, you know, and we have high standards about that sort of thing.
"… So where were we? Well, I don't know what much else there is to say. If you ask me some questions now I'm sure you'll hit on something I forgot. I'm not very good at this sort of thing. Let me just look over the president's notes quick… oh, right," she said, looking up and beaming proudly. "One of our thingies here tonight is to ask for your pecuniary assistance. (That means we're trolling for money, you know.) We don't need much. But it costs something to print up all the paper we use for flyers and to write the Ministry… and to continue our legal challenges to the status of elves as beasts… and to pay the five emancipated house-elves who give generously of their time to S.P.E.W… and who really don't have a position just now…" Luna shrugged sadly. "And that's all, I suppose. Please everyone here tonight who has contact with house-elves treat them with respect. Any questions?"
First there was a thunderous round of applause. Luna smiled happily. It was always a delightful surprise to her each time to realise that people liked her S.P.E.W. speeches. Hermione was growing less surprised by it. She supposed it was because Luna talked to the crowd so conversationally. Hermione knew that she, herself, was much more of a lecturer… even in her conversations.
Luna nodded to a reporter, who said, "I don't believe I caught your name at any point, ma'am." (Luna never did remember introductions. It would be an improvement in oratory if everyone else did too.)
Rita Skeeter's aggressive voice retorted: "Names and numbers are all on the little complimentary flyers, find a better question if you like to waste time treating us all to the mellifluent sound of your own voice, you hack."
Giggles and titters. Hermione smiled supremely and decided to treat Rita to a drink afterwards.
"I – I – " The Hack gaped and then rallied, sneering: "So what sort of question does someone with your seasoned and dare I say chequered career ask?"
Skeeter rounded on Luna. "You spoke of house-elves' sacrifices in the recent war for their families. What do you say to those who counter that paying house-elves will make them mere hired hands and diminish their famed loyalty?"
Luna's voice, unexpectedly, could go flinty when angered. It wasn't something she could consciously do at all, but deadly when it happened.
"Well… I'd say those sort of people don't know house-elves very well. House-elves will always be house-elves. S.P.E.W. and its supporters are merely suggesting that we wizards cease to be nargles and start being amiabillins."
"What're nargles and amiabillins?" someone called back swiftly.
Luna smiled. "Rewarding subjects for a lifetime's worth of study and devotion! Next, please."
A non-reporter raised her hand. Luna nodded to her. "Oh, yes, anyone can ask… the real people often ask better questions than the reporters…" (Another polite laugh, another realisation that she had not meant it a bit humourously.)
"How many members does S.P.E.W. have now?"
"Oh, I don't know exactly… I'm sure Hermione had it put on one of the flyers somewhere…" Luna raised a hand vaguely. "It's enough that it's making all the postage get a little pricey… S.P.E.W. originally started out with three members, you know, and one of them was Harry Potter… sorry," she said, with a slight blush, "but I'm always told to name-drop until we gain wider respectability or whatever… I was the fourth member and we were stuck at that number from some time. We really took off four years ago with our sponsored scrub of the Leaky Cauldron. People would much rather pressure for rich people to just pay the house-elves than worry about ever having to do it themselves… There's nothing altruistic about it... anyway I think it was four years ago, it was at any rate the year that we had that early spring weather and than that frost on Mayday… I'm sorry, am I off-topic?" She blinked confusedly. A belligerent-sounding guest rescued her:
"All these scare-stories about a house-elf revolt sound awfully far-fetched to a lot of people. Granted that some of them are mistreated by their owners, do you really think house-elves are going to start raising a rebellion?"
"Well, no one would ever have expected those nice goblins to uproot their relations with wizards during the last war, now would they have?"
"Not to be rude," said the wizard, rather rudely, "but… uh… goblins have rebellions pretty regularly. You did have five years of History of Magic, didn't you?"
"Oh yes," said Luna politely. "I dropped it soon as I could, of course… it was terribly… factual… not to mention heavily bowdlerized by controlling interests. But, about the house-elves, I think it's naïve to have any sort of creature, even house-elves, suffer as they have for so long, and what with all the examples of war-waging they've received from us… and they're very magically powerful, so it's a ridiculous risk our society has run so long… and if they don't revolt, I assure you Hermione – our president – will probably revolt for them, so it's much easier to just obey the voice of conscience, because she can be a bit frightening when worked up."
There was the standard reporter looking for the human-interest angle.
"Is it true that necklace you're wearing a token of respect from one of the house-elves aided by S.P.E.W.?"
Luna looked down at the necklace. "Oh, no… I made it myself… it's nice, isn't it?" she asked complacently, holding it up for a moment so that people could see the carefully twined onion rings.
Hermione shrugged, smiled, and sipped her gillywater. Any publicity was good publicity. And she had forced Luna to enchant it beforehand to banish the smell.
fin. hope you enjoyed.
