It's Shakira!-A Hatsuharu Story

Yes yes. I know. The title is weired, and the other stories weren't as funny. So here, this one is better. Don't get mad at me! It's not my fault I can't keep up with my fics anymore, plus someone elses! This one, unlike the others, is in Haru's P.O.V, and it pretty much is, what he says in his mind. In other words, Haru's telling the story. Kinda.

"La,la,la,la,la!"

Oh great. Here comes Momiji in his little skirt.

(Momiji pauses and looks to see if he's wearing a skirt.)

"But Haru..."

"Just go on with it!"

Sheesh. Who wears a skirt in this weather?

"But Haru, i'm not wear--"

"Shutu up! You read minds now!"

"No, your just saying it all out loud--"

(Attacks Momiji to the ground)

"Get out of my head!"

Why is he carrying a teddy bear and a topeless barbie? So Momiji IS straight? Unless he's a girl, then he'd be...

"Haru!"

So which is it...?

(momiji stares at him evily)

"Will you play dolls with me?" little gay boy asks.

Depends who I get to be...

"Why should I?"

"You can be Glenda!"

(Haru stares at the topless barbie/prostitutive slut/whore/ugly cheap doll) isn't it all the same?

Later on

La la la la la...

(Skipping with Momiji to a mud puddle in the middle of the street)

We sat down in the puddle like idiots.

What do sluty barbies sound like anyways.

thinks)

Like men...

"Glenda does not sound like a man Haru!"

"Get out of his head!" Glenda yelled in a manlly voice.

"Why am I topless fu!" Glenda yelled.

"Do'nt you remember!"

"Why is she topeless Momiji!"

"She wants to be Shakira when she grows up!"

"I'm going to go swim fu!" Manlly Glenda yelled at the bear.

Into the mud!

(Later on..)

"I'm Glenda the slut! Kiss me bear!"

Manly voice..

(Haru presses the dolls face into the bears nose)

(The bears head rolls off)

"You had surgery bear!"

(Momij stares at Haru)

"Than I must confess, I too have had surgery! I am really..." Glenda pauses for dramatic affect.

"GLEN! THE 81 YEAR OLD HOBO WHO LIVE IN A BOX IN PITSBURG!"

(Momiji faints)

"What fu? Is bear too hot for you! He's mine! Mine!"

(Haru attacks momiji with the doll)

Whack!

Whack!

Whack!

Gee. 86 whacks and until now the damn ambulance comes.

(After Momiji gets out of the emergancy room..)

"kiss me bear!"

Look...a car...

(momiji pulls him to the side, avoiding the car...)

I dropped Glenda!

Crrrraaaaaccckkk!

"Glenda!"

(Haru sits there crying)

"But Haru, you could just tape her back togeth--"

(Haru dunks her in the mud)

"It's a funeral.

(Two days later)

(A little boy rides down the street in a tricycle)

"What's this?"

A zombie?

"AHHHHHHH! MOMMY! IT'S SHAKIRAAA!