Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

Rukia: My Life As A Rabbit

Chapter One –Who let the dogs out?

Rukia: There I was –just innocently taking my vitamins. And all of a sudden, I lose 5-feet of my height. As if I wasn't short enough already! The only saving grace is –I've got the cutest bunny-bob tail you've ever seen!



Rukia wasn't trained in the seireitei Shinigami Academy for nothing. Even in such distress, she tried to quell the panic rising within her newly acquired furry body.

What do we do now? Oh,noOh,noOh,noo!

The shinigami squeezed her eyes shut.

Steady, Rukia! First, what's with the "we" part? That rabbit is you. Accept it. And deal with it, Kuchiki Rukia! Get help. Find Ichigo.

No! Wait! Did she really want Ichigo to see her in this condition? And recognize her for who, or rather what –she was now? Because how embarrassing would that be?

That orange-headed fool would very probably point a finger and cackle, "How did you end up like that? Man, you deserve it!"

An over-powering, horrible smell diverted her thoughts to current reality. What was that awful wind? Rukia's eyes widened at the reflection in the glass.

There –a huge salivating monster from a nightmare stood breathing over her. She felt the hot trail of doggy-glue trickling down her white fur.

With her powerful hind legs, Rukia sharply kicked its nose, flashed her bunny-bob tail and ran for her life. The dog gave a few yelps of pain that morphed into deadly growls of rage.

Rukia looked behind her as she scurried down the alleys.

How could one dog raise such a ruckus?

To her horror, she saw that at least 3 barking dogs were hot on her heels.

What is that? Calling backup just for one defenseless rabbit? I'm so honored!

The dogs gave chase, and Rukia valiantly dashed ahead of the pack. For the dogs, it was the thrill of the hunt. For Rukia, it was the fear pounding in her heart in this pursuit between predator and prey.

Suddenly, Rukia was lifted of her feet and into the protective arms of a little girl. Holding the rabbit high out of reach, the child fiercely yelled at the dogs.

"Scat! Shoo!"

In the arms of her savior, Rukia watched in satisfaction as her chicken-hearted pursuers tucked tail between legs and scampered off.

She sighed. Rukia hadn't encountered such excitement since her childhood runs with Renji and her playmates in the 78th Rukongai District.

The little girl cradled Rabbit Rukia and cooed sweetly, "Ooh, it's a Bugs Bunny! I'll bring you home and we'll have fun playing House. You can be Baby. And I'll be Mommy. Mama will feed you grass and worms. You'll like that, won't you, Aka-chan?"

Out of the frying pan and into the fire! Why do children have this innate thing about feeding little animals with worms?

Rukia leaped from the arms of the surprised child and bid her former mistress farewell. But, the little girl didn't take kindly to being abandoned.

"Rascally Rabbits have to be punished!" she screamed.

Uh-oh!

Rukia dashed around the corner and scrambled into an overturned trash can. She lay there shivering in the semi-decomposing fast food leftovers. She tried not to think of the ketchup sauce that was mixing into her fur, or the squelchy, putrid bits of mystery substance beneath her paws.

I think the smell is going to knock me out soon. This is so traumatizing.

oooOooo

"Do you like trying new recipes, Kurosaki-kun? It's surprising how well grilled fish goes with lemon and pepper sauce. You'll never know 'til you try it!"

"That's so… unique, Inoue. The taste must be incredible," Ichigo said weakly, stepping out of the grocery shop beside his classmate.

Ichigo considered it an undisclosed fact that Inoue's taste buds could very well be one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Or perhaps, her stomach –for taking in all those wild concoctions.

Inoue Orihime abruptly cried out in alarm as a gray streak at ground level crashed into her ankles.

Rukia collapsed onto the ground, muscles trembling. She couldn't find the strength in her legs to get up.

"Poor thing!" Inoue exclaimed immediately, bending down to reach for the shuddering form.

"Don't touch it. It's dirty. You don't know where it's been," Ichigo warned.

Rukia's ears twitched at that.

"And it stinks too," Ichigo added, pinching his nose shut. "Looks like it's been playing in the dumpster."

Mind your mouth, Mister.

"A stray. Probably escaped from its cage, or some kid dumped it in the streets."

"Oh, that's so sad!" Inoue cried, snatching Rukia up into her arms. "Please, Kurosaki-kun, we can't leave it here like this. My apartment regulations doesn't allow pets.." she added meaningfully.

Inoue gave her classmate the same pleading look that her older brother had never been able to resist. It was a skill all younger siblings had, and Ichigo, being an elder brother to not one, but two munchkins at home –was especially vulnerable to it since Yuzu and Karin had discovered their Ichi-nii was a little defenseless in that department.

Ichigo stared at the rabbit's large eyes.

Ichigo! It's me! It's me –Rukia! Come on, please recognize who I am!

Inoue struggled to get a better grip on the rabbit twitching in her arms. It seemed to be lunging straight for Kurosaki's face.

The girl laughed. "Kurosaki-kun, it's your orange hair! The bunny has mistaken you for a giant carrot!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes heavenwards and gave a long suffering sigh. Just what he needed –an animal yearning to chomp on his head. If the world did not ostracize him for his orange hair, its furry rabbit denizens would love him for resembling a carrot.

Looks like I'm the new owner one extremely smelly rabbit.



Author's note: The little girl called Rukia Aka-chan –short for Akanbou, meaning 'baby'. Inoue's Grilled Fish recipe is a suggestion from BlackSun- White Moon's review.

jonz-3-5 – I do eat seaweed and peanut butter sandwiches.. But after your suggestion of adding ketchup, mustard and carrots to it.. I think I won't face another one for a while.

Procrastinator-starting2moro –Haha! Rukia loving herself as a rabbit –somehow that just summarizes it perfectly.

super kai-chan –Ichigo X Rukia for sure.

Kuchiki Rukia-sama –Oh, Rukia-sama! I like your screen name.

BlackSun-WhiteMoon –Yes, very gross. I couldn't bring myself to add the grape jelly.;)

inugrlluvsanime –I'm not making it up –I swear! I ended my life as a Toyota car when my owner dumped me in the scrap yard for a newer model.

Makino114 –My imagination is out of this world? Heheh.. The people around me are always saying I live in a world of my own.

flOofymikO –You were kidding me about trying out the recipes right? Right:Panics on your behalf..: