Disclaimer: All Bleach characters belong to Kubo Tite.

Rukia: My Life As A Rabbit

Chapter Two –Catch me if you can

Rukia: Chased by salivating dogs and a little girl who thought she was my mother. Clambering around in decomposing mystery meat... I think that's enough running around for this rabbit, thank you.


Kurosaki Karin stared at her brother's new acquisition while Yuzu welcomed them home. "Ah, Ichi-nii sure is fond of bringing home strays."

Her older brother stiffened and gave her a suspicious look. "What do you mean?"

Karin shrugged. "All those earthbound spirits that follow you home for dinner at seven.."

That girl living in your futon cupboard.

Ichigo coughed and turned to Inoue. "You know my dad runs the clinic downstairs. We can't have a filthy rabbit running around. So, first things first. A bath."

Inoue carried Rukia and followed the Kurosaki siblings to the bathroom.

Ichigo said, "Let me handle it. I don't want to take the chance of that thing biting you and giving you rabies."

Rukia stiffened in Inoue's arms.

The day she let Ichigo give her a bath would be the day rabbits populated a blue cheese moon.

Like hell she was going to allow that!

Kurosaki Ichigo, you big 15 year-old pervert!

Ichigo turned around and gave the unhappy rabbit a pointed look. Almost as if he had heard Rukia's last comment about his depravity.

He said, "Inoue?"

"Hai, Kurosaki-kun?"

"I want you to make sure you get a good, firm grip on stinky there."

Stinky? You'll pay for that insult, Kurosaki Ichigo!

There was no use struggling. Her massive captors would easily overpower her. Rukia would have to outsmart them.

The devious rabbit settled down in Inoue's arms. She felt the girl's muscles relax.

That's right, Inoue-chan! Good girl. I'm just a timid little bunny-rabbit. I'm so well-behaved, so sweet and obedient. What –me, escape? Perish the thought!

Due to Inoue's trusting nature, her grip on the rabbit was lax and unguarded as she set Rukia on the bathroom floor.

Before Ichigo could roll up his sleeves and say, "Hand me that Johnson & Johnson's No Tears Kid's Shampoo." –Rukia was off like a shot.

There was an immediate Red Alert situation in the house. Rukia heard the frightening sounds of thundering footsteps behind her. The wooden floorboards shook beneath the impact of the chase.

She squeezed herself under the shoe rack between Ichigo's size 11 sport shoes.

Pheew, Ichigo! You call me Stinky? When was the last time you washed your shoes? Or your feet, you big hypocrite!

Karin's face suddenly appeared before her. "Found you!" the younger girl yelled triumphantly.

Rukia sprang out and jumped towards the surprised Karin's face. Her powerful hind legs propelled her gracefully into the air as she kicked off from Karin's head like a diver from a springboard. The younger girl's curses were muffled as her face was unexpectedly jammed to the floor.

Up, up… and away!

oooOooo

Kurosaki Ichigo lifted the pink ruffled edge of his sister's quilt.

Beneath the darkened space of Yuzu's bed, the cornered rabbit stared back balefully at him.

He said evenly, "Look, we can do this the easy way. Or the hard way. You quietly come out from there and I won't have to come get you. Believe me, you don't want that."

The rabbit crouched low to the ground.

Let's see who's more stubborn here. You? Or me?

Ichigo didn't even know why he bothered reasoning with the little rogue.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Rukia watched as his face disappeared from view. The ruffled skirt of the quilt lifted again and the head of a broom came sweeping under the bed. She tried to scurry out of the way to no avail.

She skidded across the floor on her furry stomach –swept out like a Dust Bunny.

Most undignified!

oooOooo

Ichigo carried the struggling rabbit in his hands to its fate waiting in the bathroom. He gently tugged the elastic band from Yuzu's ponytail as he passed by.

"I'll need that," he said.

Inoue watched as Ichigo tied the wily rabbit's hind legs together. "Oh, is that really necessary, Kurosaki-kun?"

"Yes!" said Ichigo and Karin as one.

"I'm not going to chase a soapy bunny around the house." He looked Rukia in the eye and added for her benefit, "If you're thinking of slipping out of my hands –forget it."

In a few minutes, Rabbit Rukia was subjected to the mortification of being bathed by Ichigo. But, her spitfire personality would not permit her to fully submit to the indignity.

I won't forget this, Kurosaki Ichigo! I swear it. Just you wait –when I return to my normal form –I'll show you!

You can keep me captive by unfair advantage! You can chain my feet, but not my spirit!

Or my teeth!

With that, Rukia sank her molars into Ichigo's exposed finger.

"Y-OW!"


Author's Note: Honestly, who do you pity more in this chapter?