Hi everybody,
First, I am sorry for the delay in posting this chapter.
Second, Fanfiction seems to have had a few glitches lately, since I got notifications only for about half the reviews for last chapter and I would not be surprised if you had only found the last chapter by chance, not getting the usual email notification either.
Despite these problems, thank you all for reading, putting the story on alert, adding it to favorites, and most importantly, for reviewing. I do not make any promises, but I hope to update a little bit more often in the near future.
And the usual disclaimer: I do not own these characters, sadly. :-(
Chapter 11 – Resolutions
When Nadir got up the next morning, he found Erik in their sitting room, still wearing the same clothes he had worn the day before. His friend looked like he had not slept all night.
"Erik, what is the matter?" he asked, worried. "Is something wrong?"
Then he remembered: the lesson. Christine had asked for Erik's help, and Erik had agreed to it, though his conditions for the meeting had been somewhat severe. Had Christine shied away from the idea of such a rather inappropriate setting? Had she been scared at the idea of having to be alone with Erik in a locked room? Did she fear her former teacher after all?
"Christine," Nadir sighed. "Of course. Something went wrong last night, I suspect. She did not come after all?" he guessed.
Erik shook his head. "No, Nadir, that's not it. She did come, and she was... how can I describe it? She treated me far better than could be expected considering the circumstances and the inappropriate setting. The lesson went very well, and she even asked for another one.. but..."
Nadir smiled. "Erik, that sounds wonderful!" he exclaimed. "Then what is the problem? Were you maybe not able to help her with the aria?"
"She now owns this aria," Erik replied. "But we talked a bit. About what happened two years ago. About my face. And she said something..." He had to fight back tears at the memory of Christine's confession that she could have loved him despite his face.
"She said something about your face?" Nadir was not sure he understood what Erik was hinting at. "I did not think that was her biggest problem with you?"
"No, of course not," Erik was quick to correct Nadir's erroneous assumption. "On the contrary, she insisted that I not wear a mask during the lesson. It is just... she said... Oh Nadir, I have ruined it all! If I had not lost it two years ago, if I had not assumed she would turn away from me once she had seen the abomination that is my face... if only..."
"Then you would still be in Paris, both of you," Nadir commented dryly.
Erik shook his head. "Maybe," he admitted, "but she said she might have... there would have been a chance... and now … she may never be able to forgive me for what I did back then."
Nadir beamed. Had he understood correctly? Had Erik just told him that last night Christine had confessed to him that she might have loved him if he had not committed all those atrocities? Then he had been right and the girl did have feelings for his friend. He was also fairly certain that she would not have given Erik that information if his past actions had killed those feelings for good. That Christine had admitted to those feelings gave Nadir hope that she still felt the same way about Erik, but he also understood that she was struggling with putting the past behind her and giving his friend another chance.
"She said she might have loved you," Nadir therefore stated matter-of-factly. "Apparently you did something right then, if she liked you before things went out of hand. Maybe you should remind yourself of what it was you did back then to win her trust, to make her develop such feelings for you. I cannot guarantee that it will help, but what if you tried to recreate the atmosphere of your previous relationship? What was it exactly that made her like you? Was it your shared interest in music, your expertise in teaching her, your empathy with her grief after her father's death? Think about it... "
"You mean I could make her forget what I did?" Erik asked hopefully.
"She may not be able to forget," Nadir cautioned his friend. "But she may come to accept that those actions of yours are things of the past, that you are a changed man. If she can be convinced that you have learned to keep your temper under control, that you can behave like a civilized person, she may be able to forgive you. Keep in mind, I am not saying she will, but that she might be able to see you in a more positive light again."
Erik nodded. "I will try not to scare her again with my temper and to believe her when she says that she does not find my face disgusting," he decided.
"That is the right attitude," Nadir agreed. "By the way, are you seeing her again? In private, I mean, not watching her during rehearsal from your favorite box."
"Tonight," Erik confessed. "She wants to continue lessons, to go over the whole part together..."
"Perfect," Nadir grinned. "Just focus on the lesson and treat her kindly. Show her that you have a lot going for you, that the madman she remembers is not all that you are about. And even if she does not forgive you right away, do not give up. I am sure that you will at least win back her friendship that way."
Erik nodded. Nadir was right. Christine might not really have given him much reason to hope that he could repair the damage he had done to their relationship, but he still had to try. If she could never completely forgive him for what he had done, at least he might be able to have her as a friend again. And, if he thought about it, was it not a promising sign that she had agreed to meet with him in a locked room at all? That she even had asked to meet again despite the inappropriate setting?
After having spent the whole night wallowing in self-pity about the fact that he had ruined his chances at a life with Christine, he finally realized that her situation was not ideal either. For if it was true that she had had feelings for her Angel – and at one point he, too, had hoped that that might be the case – then having to deal with the fact that the person she loved was turning into a criminal and madman must have been devastating for her. His poor Christine! How could he have hurt her so badly? He understood that he had not just ruined his own chances at happiness, but also Christine's. How could he ever repair that?
There was only one way he could at least try to make amends. The least he could do was to show Christine that he had overcome this madness, that he was trying his very best to become a man deserving of her affection. Only if he succeeded in doing this could she remember the feelings she had had for her Angel without being ashamed of that affection.
"I will try to show her that I have recovered from this madness," he promised himself as much as Nadir. "Even if she can never forgive me, at least she shall not have to think that she once had feelings for somebody unworthy."
Xxxx
At 9 p.m. Erik once again waited for Christine in rehearsal room 3. As soon as she arrived, he locked the door and removed his lifelike mask. He did not even try to put on the leather mask instead. Christine had asked him to learn to live with his face. He would show her that he cared enough for her opinion to try just that.
Christine was impressed. She had feared that Erik might once again try to hide behind the mask. That he was showing her his naked face without being asked to do so, was a huge step in the right direction in her opinion. It proved to her that he was trying to accept that his face was not as big a problem as he used to think. That would be good for his self-esteem, she hoped.
"I am glad you have decided that you do not need a mask with me," she said, smiling brightly at Erik to show him how much she appreciated his effort.
Erik blushed. Even though he failed to understand how she could endure looking at his deformed excuse for a face, he realized that Christine preferred him without that particular item of clothing. His Christine approved of him not wearing a mask! Just the thought made him feel dizzy with wonder!
He cleared his throat in embarrassment and pointed to the score, asking Christine which scene she wanted to rehearse next. They quickly decided on the act I trio. Erik would sing Pollione's part and he would play Adalgisa's part on the piano.
Just like the previous day, the moment they began to work on the music, Erik relaxed. He no longer thought about his face or about the events of two years ago that had so seriously impacted both their lives. Once he played and they sang together he became Christine's teacher again, the man that helped her achieve greatness.
Christine, too, forgot the past during the lesson. It was as if the past two years had never happened. The old connection between her and Erik was there again, brought upon by music. As long as they were practicing together she did not think of his violent actions, of his manipulations and his crimes. For the duration of their lesson he was her Angel again.
Erik almost automatically reverted to his teacher persona, advising her how to improve her performance, correcting her at the rare occasions when she was a bit off, helping her to mold her voice into the perfect instrument.
Once they were satisfied with the way Christine sang Norma's part in the trio, they decided to meet again the next day. At the end of the week they had gone through all of Norma's scenes, but they both had gotten so used to their lessons that they decided to continue with them.
Even though Christine now was not just familiar with Norma's part but excelled in it, they would not stop working together. Erik thought they could go again through the repertory that he had taught Christine in Paris and maybe she could check out a few new arias she had never sung before. After all, if the production of Norma went as well as he hoped, they might have to put on another play soon afterwards. A gala showcasing the lead singers might also be a good idea, and it could not hurt to let Christine try a few songs by different composers so that they might be able to choose one that would be particularly well suited to her voice, once he had to plan such an event.
Xxxx
Christine was not exactly sure how it happened, but slowly she began to see Erik in a different light. The more often she met him, the more it became obvious to her that he had finally found his place in the world. Erik was so extremely competent in every area of the production. He designed the sets and the costumes, he attended rehearsals, he usually had a solution to offer whenever anybody encountered a small problem. He was obviously in his element. He had been born to be manager of an opera house.
Erik also seemed to learn to accept his face. He never wore a mask during their lessons again, and one day Nadir told her that Erik had finally agreed not to wear one at home either.
"You cannot imagine how many times Darius and I have tried to convince him to take off that stupid thing," Nadir said. "I don't know what you did to make him change his mind, but it is definitely doing him good to let his skin breathe. We have to thank you!"
"I hope that he won't be so angry anymore, once he can accept himself," Christine replied. "He is so different now from two years ago. Just like he used to be when I was a little girl, except maybe … more relaxed... It is becoming hard to imagine him getting so unhinged as he did..."
"Does that mean that you are willing to forgive his transgressions of two years ago?" Nadir asked her.
Christine sighed. "There are days when I do not think about those days anymore," she confessed, "When I feel like this was all a bad dream, something that did not really happen. And then... "
"I can understand," Nadir comforted her. "Those memories must be terrible. But Erik is trying hard to learn from his mistakes. I am sure it would go a long way if you continued encouraging him and showing him your support along the way."
He did not dare say more, though he suspected that she was already beginning to forgive Erik, he did not want to pressure her to do so. She apparently needed a bit more time – a bit more exposure to the new and improved Erik. For Erik had made incredible progress since Christine's arrival at their opera house. He was so much more relaxed and less tense nowadays. Nadir was certain that the hope to win back Christine's love was the best motivation for his friend. Erik now wanted to fit in, in order to please Christine.
Xxxx
Ingrid Johannsen once again read through the letters she had received from Christine over the past few weeks. She had been a bit worried when she first learned that Christine's former teacher was the artistic director of the theater where she now was employed. Even though she suspected that her girl had feelings for this particular man, she was also convinced that he had terribly disappointed and hurt Christine. Thus she was not entirely certain if it was a good thing that fate had apparently reunited these two.
What had it been that Christine had told her about that man? That he was manipulative and had tried to kill his rival? The fact that the rival in question had not been much better in those regards was not really an excuse for this Erik's actions. Aunt Ingrid therefore had an uneasy feeling at the thought that Christine was now working with this man again. Would her girl fall under his spell again?
At first Christine had seemed to be able to keep her distance from this Erik-person. At least there had not been much mention of him in her first letter after she got the job. But now she spoke of resumed music lessons, of how this teacher of hers seemed to have changed, of how utterly competent he was at his job, of how well respected he was by all her colleagues.
Was this possible? Could a manipulative man with jealous, violent tendencies really change that much? Could she trust Christine's judgment in that regard? Or was it more likely that the girl was so infatuated with this man that she was about to forget the hurt he had caused her and fall under his spell again? Was Christine maybe making herself vulnerable again by letting that man back into her heart, setting herself up for more disappointment and heartbreak?
"I think it is time I have a look at this Erik," aunt Ingrid finally decided. "If what Christine tells me is true and he has changed for the better, then it is maybe a good thing that they have met again. But if she is just delusional, trying to convince herself that he is different now... "
Aunt Ingrid had no idea what she would do in that case. But she was very sure that she would have to meet this man and evaluate him. If he passed inspection then she would not interfere. But if he made her feel like he would hurt her dear niece again, she would move heaven and hell to pry Christine away from that man for her own good.
Xxxx
"Dear Christine," Christine read the latest letter that she had received from her adoptive mother.
"What did you say, when exactly is your opening night? In two weeks? I have given this some thought and I think I could go see you and attend that performance. You have told me so much about the story of this Norma, about the splendid sets and costumes, about your colleagues, that you have made me want to see the play by myself and to meet all those people you have told me about: the talented Anna Lena, your former teacher Erik, his friend Nadir and all the others. When you receive this letter I will already be on my way to Italy. I should be in Spoleto next Monday. See you then, my dear."
Christine sat down heavily. She was not prepared for this turn of events. As much as she was looking forward to see her dear "mamma" again, she was not sure if she was ready to introduce her to her colleagues. Anna Lena was not the problem, and come to think of it, the two would not be able to talk to each other anyway, since neither spoke the other's language. The same was true for Nadir. But Erik was a different cup of tea, for he spoke Swedish quite fluently.
With him aunt Ingrid could possibly talk – assuming he was willing to meet her. Would he agree to talk to her aunt if she asked him to? Or should she even ask him? What if he saw such a request as a sign that she had forgiven him, that she still loved him and wanted him to meet her family? But if she tried to keep Erik and her aunt apart during the latter's visit her aunt would most definitely suspect that something was wrong. Christine knew that her aunt was not likely to leave without having met Erik, but she was not entirely sure she could convince Erik to agree to such a meeting.
Then Christine remembered something else: She had not been entirely forthcoming when talking about Erik to her mamma. There was a lot her aunt did not know about her Angel. Was it better to keep things that way or to finally tell her the whole story before introducing her to Erik? Christine was not sure how to proceed, she only knew one thing: she finally had to tell aunt Ingrid at least about Erik's disfigurement and the mask he wore.
