He asked permission to die. His soul had been torn and broken many times in his many lives. Yet he had never been allowed to rest, to sleep forever. He was bound to this world as surely as his heart was bound to her. But she was gone, and with her all thoughts of ever attaining happiness in this lifetime. He had watched his friends die as he stood on the sidelines. His heart had died with them. But he couldn't join them yet, for his duty was not done.

But now he had completed his task. The task he had made with his failure. He had sworn his soul to his duty. And now it was over. He was free, he could finally rejoin them, if they would accept him. Those he had failed. He could feel them there, calling to him softly, with soothing forgiveness and with patience only the dead could possess. The light to his darkness. Courage to his fear. There in sight yet completely unreachable. And yet he could not go. Not until he was released . Released from the chains binding him. The ones he had crafted and put on himself, fashioned and melded by his own self blame and despair. Only he could remove them, they said, but what did they know? They cannot feel the emptiness I feel every time I witness the happiness of others. Happiness I can never attain. One day I will be free, free to roam…..and free to be happy.

But not until I am forgiven, forgiven of the mistakes that cost me everything.

They say love lives forever. That it reaches beyond death and time itself. Will they still love me? Can they really? I will wait. I will live a dead life until I can be free of my sins. And then maybe then I can join them. To have my happiness .. Everlasting.