"You're not seriously considering this, are you?"

Bill shrugged. "So what if I am? I can't think of a good reason not to."

The Cipher brothers were all huddled up in their cramped living room, with Kill and Will on the moth-eaten couch and Bill pacing animatedly in front of them. He held Maximilian's business card in his hand, staring at it as if he couldn't believe it was real.

Will scoffed so hard it bordered on a laugh. "I could think of a million reasons not to! I-I just-" He got up and put his hands on Bill's shoulders, meeting his eyes with an intense pleading. "Bill, I know you like to make impulsive decisions, but please think about this."

Kill interjected before Bill could respond. "I think he should do it."

"What?" The two other brothers uttered at the exact same time.

"I got hired by the syndicate because a scout approached me after seeing me work on my target practice. I talked to the bosses, got in, and now I'm making enough income to pay for most of our food. It's about time Bill does something worthwhile."

The youngest Cipher's pursed his lips into a straight line. "I'm going to ignore that insult and just accept your support."

"Listen, I don't want to be rude, but what could Alcor possibly want from you?" Will asked.

"Hey! I have a lot of marketable skills, I'll have you know! There's plenty he could want from me," Bill piped up indignantly.

"No, he's right," Kill grumbled.

"Listen." Bill closed his eyes hard, thinking. "Selling my perfectly valuable products in the market isn't working anymore now that Leviathan's actually getting out of bed in the morning. Pickpocketing, while always a safe bet, isn't going to make a dent into our expenses. Now I have one of the richest and most prominent figures in Ukrenium offering me what sounds like a job, and I'm supposed to say no?"

"Yes, if it comes at the cost of your life!" Will retorted.

"We'll all be dead anyway if we don't have money!"

"We won't need money if you're dead!"

They both stared at each other, their breath the only sound in the room. To their surprise, Kill broke the silence. "It's better than getting processed. At least this way we'll earn something." He got up from the sofa and shot Bill an intense glare. "Don't make me regret this."

The he slammed the door to his room.

Will turned to the youngest Cipher and sighed. "Look, I'm just worried, okay? You almost got taken, and you don't even seem fazed. You're not invincible, Bill, no one is." He strode off in the direction of the apartment door.

"You're wrong."

Will froze. "Huh?"

Bill smirked, his eyes sparkling with determination. "You're only invincible if everyone thinks you are. Those on the tip of the pyramid? No one can touch them, because they told everyone they couldn't. Trust me; one of the days, I'm going to reach the top, and I'll take you up with me."

...

The next couple of days passed pretty uneventfully, which was absolute torture for Bill's hyperactive mind. He'd stared out the grimy window, trying to see if Leviathin was at the market, and to his dismay, he was doing rounds with his pack of dogs. He wasn't sure what to do with all his leftover products, so he just hid them underneath his bed and hoped Kill wouldn't throw them away.

Pickpocketing became Bill's only activity, and it was ridiculously easy when every demon's purse seemed to just spray money in his face as they walked by. Even with all the hours he spent it on though, he only made enough to pay for their food that day.

It was the night before.

Will placed the freshly washed plates onto the counter, Kill was fiddling with his gun, and Bill was getting comfortable on his bed. No one said a word, but they could all tell what the others were thinking: tomorrow is the moment of truth. Either our luck changes, or we never see Bill again.

Kill strapped his pistol to his belt, threw on a large black coat, and paused in front of Bill for a second. "I've got two targets tonight, and the bosses want to go over my missions, so I won't be back until tomorrow evening." He hesitated, then put a hand on Bill's shoulder. "Don't die."

He left without another word.

Bill's mind had to catch up with his eyes for a second, just to register that did indeed just happen. "Did he really-" For once, he was out of quips.

The middle Cipher brother's mouth was curved into a genuine smile, one Bill hadn't seen in a while. "Someone got sappy tonight, huh? I know you two butt heads a lot, but he truly does care."

Bill snorted. "Well, after that little display, now I'm starting to think he might. G'night, Will."

The lights went off, and footsteps creaked towards the other side of the apartment. "G'night, Bill."

His head seemed to sink into the pillow, but he was unfortunately left with just his thoughts, and they were already racing. What if they're right? What if I'm a complete idiot for doing this? What if I actually die?

His ego instantly rejected the idea. Bill Cipher is a lot of things, but an idiot is not one of them. This is where my new life starts.

He let that thought comfort him as he at last drifted off to sleep.

...

It was loud.

There were demons everywhere, all yelling and dancing like it was the end of the world. Judging by the hole in the sky, maybe it was. Electro music bounced off of the triangular stone walls, glasses clinked, and he was pretty sure some dismemberment was happening in the far corner of the space.

It was chaos, and he loved it.

He wasn't participating himself, merely downing martinis while lounging on a stone throne that seemed to stare at him. A smirk grazed his lips. He twirled a cane in his other hand, a top hat rested on his head, and he felt almost royal.

Something wasn't quite right, though. He felt everything around him, but his body wasn't getting the memo. It was like he was a flat drawing with no sense of depth perception.

He picked up his newly replenished martini glass, and reached for a golden object that definitely had human features, but he wasn't going to worry about that just yet. He clinked the golden thing against the glass, and cleared his throat as all of the demons quieted.

His voice echoed in an unnatural tone. "Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like eighty-seven different faces-"

"Eighty-eight different faces!" A freak of nature bellowed from across the room.

"Woah, sorry-touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning Gravity falls inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens and then stacking them into this massive throne of frozen human agony." Bill finally got a good look at what he was sitting on, and saw that those were all tiny people stacked up into the shape of a throne.

Part of him was disgusted. The other part couldn't help but think it was a little bit funny how they all squished together like a puzzle.

His shrill voice continued on casually. "Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore. Probably."

He was instantly proven wrong when an older woman moved out of place, but he just poked her back and she froze all over again. He turned back to his audience. "But Gravity Falls is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos worldwide! Alright boys, to the corners of the Earth. Set the world aflame with your weirdness. This dimension is ours!"

...

He jerked upright in an flash, his features covered in sweat and his eyes frantically scanning the room. Will was staring at him, looking worried. "Bill...that's the second nightmare in two weeks. Are you alright?"

His first thought was no, something is definitely wrong, but he dismissed it. He couldn't be getting nerves now. "No, no, my imagination's just been acting up lately. Don't sweat it."

Will didn't look convinced, but he put on a brave face. "Well, I figured you'd want to look nice, so I might have nicked this from the Pools." He turned to a tiny closet, where a glossy black suit hung. It was crisp and looked brand new, with yellow swirls at the cuffs.

Bill nearly fell out of his cot. He dashed towards it, and held the fabric in his hands with awe. "Will, you sly devil. This is...I don't think anyone could say no to me in this." He whisked it off the rack and hurried to the bathroom, a big grin on his face. "Greatest molecular being in the universe!" He pointed at Will with the door halfway closed. "You!" He shut it, then started getting changed just as he heard his brother erupt with laughter.

As he looked at himself in the grimy mirror, he couldn't help but beam with pride. He looked like he should be sitting in an automobile with a chauffeur like Maximilian, not...this. He slicked back a section of his hair, and winked at himself. "Well, aren't you just the most good-looking thing walking through these parts."

When he stepped out of the bathroom, Will whistled. "You look like the next human overlord with that get-up. You have your card?"

"Got it in my pocket."

"Did you check?"

"It's in there."

"Bill, check. If you don't have it at the Pyramid landing, you're going to get charbroiled into next week."

Bill rolled his eyes, even though deep down he knew his older brother was right. He pulled out Maximilian Pines' business card out of his breast pocket, and Will nodded, satisfied. "Are you ready, then?"

"I was born ready." It wasn't hyperbole. It felt like his entire life had been leading up to this moment, for him to finally show the universe what he was made of.

Will smiled at him. "Knock 'em dead."

He grinned back. "I always do."

...

Bill could feel a lot of unwanted stares as he strolled down the street, likely eyeing his suit and figuring out the best way to corner him for it. Bill wasn't all too worried about it, though, as long as he stayed from back alleys. It was a quick fifteen minute walk to the Pyramid, and he was happy to say he didn't get pickpocketed. He would say, however, he was just the slightest bit intimidated by the guard at the platform landing.

He was a big ogre-looking demon, wearing a gray uniform far too small for him and several unpleasant batons at his belt. Bill considered himself a charmer, however, and went right up to him with a large grin. "Well, how are you doing this fine morning?"

Unfortunately, the guard was unimpressed. "No humans are allowed inside the Pyramid without identification of clearance-"

"Yeah, yeah, keep your shirt on, pal." He pulled Maximilian's card out of his coat and waved it in his face. "Will this do?"

The guard's jaw just about dropped, and he stared at the card as if he couldn't believe it was real. "Y-yes," he stuttered, his gruff voice shaky. "That will do."

Bill smirked and put the card back in his coat. "Excellent. Would you mind leading the way?"

The guard didn't say anything, but he could sense his apprehension. He let Bill pass, who boarded the platform with a huge grin on his face. I must be one of the only humans who have even been able to board this thing, he thought as the platform floated along, and a rush of pride flowed through him.

Then he saw the Pyramid.

You could always see it from a distance, but it was an entirely different matter seeing it up close. It was the biggest structure he'd ever seen, with each brick looking like it weighed ten tons. The bricks were gray and dull, but the cracks glowed every color and the whole building seemed to hum with energy. The most impressive feat of all though, was the fact that they'd managed to make it float over the surrounding populace. He doubted the citizens below the Pyramid appreciated it, but that's just how demons are, he supposed.

The platform grinded to a halt at the entrance, and he stepped off. There were a few demons lingering around the door, and nerves finally hit him. Maximilian Pines might be his way in, but there's no guarantee that he won't get eaten before he ever reaches his office.

Shut up, brain. Walk in there with confidence, but don't appear arrogant. Act like you belong there. Bill climbed off of the platform, and the demons finally noticed him. A couple of them looked at him with shock, others with disgust. One of them looked like he wanted to devour him whole.

He cleared his throat and willed himself to stand up straight. "Excuse me, I need to get through. I have an urgent appointment."

A female demon who bore a striking appearance to a lizard stepped forward. "Oh, really?" she crooned, her coarse skin turning coral pink. "Well, far be it from us to stop someone's important business." Much to the displeasure of her friends, she backed away from the impressive doors and dragged them off with her. As he walked through them, he saw her smirking at him with a hungry look in her eyes.

"Chamilia, why'd you let him go? I've been starving for weeks!"

A laugh. "He'll get nice and toasted the minute he walks in the door, and we'll have first pickings. Just you wait."

Bill bristled on the inside, but managed to keep his composure. He couldn't lose his cool now.

He looked around.

There must have been at least fifty demons huddled in the lobby, some of them reaching the ceiling, others reaching his knees, though judging by the look of their fangs, he shouldn't mess with them either. There was a general hum of conversation, which went dead silent the second Bill walked in.

Welp. No turning back now.

He brushed off his suit and strut towards the front desk, feeling the hungry and disdainful gazes sinking into his skin. The clack of the shoes he'd borrowed from Kill echoed through the space, his heart beating in tandem. After what felt like ages of walking, he finally reached the front desk, and gave the receptionist a smile.

She was human, with pale, freckled skin, and a bob of fiery red hair. Her brown eyes looked almost bored, but her outfit of a dress, blazer, tights, and pumps were all a vibrant green. Suddenly, eyes snapped into focus and she stared at Bill. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, yes, you can, actually! I have an appointment at noon today," Bill beamed.

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid you must provide evidence of clearance for that-"

He whipped out Maximilian's card and held it out in front of her. "I was told that this would suffice."

It had already been silent before, but it was replaced with a different kind of quiet. Eyes that were once filled with disgust and contempt, were now wide and swimming with shock.

The receptionist swallowed. "I...yes, that will do. If you would follow me."

Bill put the card back in his pocket, and smirked as the receptionist, who he could only assume was Grace Corduroy, exited her desk. She motioned for him to follow, and he stayed close behind her as they entered a gold elevator.

"Now, when Mr. Pines asks you questions, you must answer with complete and total honesty. We'll know if you don't. Only speak when spoken to, sit when you are asked to be seated, and always appear presentable. You might want to get some hair gel from his secretary." She fired all of this off rapidly, so it took Bill a minute to process what she'd said.

He scoffed. "First of all, my hair looks great. Second of all, that sounds boring as hell. Unless he's looking for a pet dog, I think I'll talk and sit when I want, thanks."

Grace sniffed. "I don't know who you are, but this isn't some low-income manager you're talking to. Unless you're in the market to get killed, you'll take my advice."

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

The elevator doors opened on the 97th floor, and Grace walked ahead of Bill down a winding hallway, shaking her head and muttering. "At least Mr. Pines can't possibly blame me for this one."

Bill jogged to catch up with her. "You're surprisingly fast in heels, did you know that?" he panted when she finally stopped.

She didn't retort. She stood in front of a huge golden door, with gilded eyes all over it. He felt slightly unsettled by their gaze. "Maximilian Pines' office. Good luck." She rapped her knuckles on the door, and a faint come in echoed. She swung the door open.

Maximilian's office was truly something.

The walls were completely covered with mahogany bookshelves, which were overflowing with various books. The only wall left alone was replaced with an extremely large window looking out over the city. The floor was a mismatch of different rugs, filling the room with different colors and textures. A large, wooden desk sat in front of the window, and much like everything else in the room, was covered in books and sheets of paper. An empty birdcage dangled from the high ceiling to the side of it.

Maximilian was sitting with his legs crossed behind the desk, his fingers folded in between each other and a cheerful smile gracing his face. He looked exactly as he did when they first met, with the exception of his suit being a dark green.

"Thank you, Grace!" he beamed. "I appreciate you bringing me our newest applicant."

So it is a job, Bill thought, and his heart leapt. He wasn't just fooling himself this whole time, this really might be when his life changes.

Maximilian opened his mouth again, but Bill was faster. He zipped into the velvet chair in front of the desk and spoke first. "So, do you mind telling me what this is all about?"

He made sure to make eye contact with Grace, who was still in the doorway. She fumed and gave him the stink eye, and Bill smirked back at her.

"That will be all, Grace, thank you," Maximilian dismissed.

She snapped to attention, and put on a calm mask. "Of course, sir." She dipped her head, and the door slammed shut behind her.

Maximilian zeroed in on Bill. "Now, I'm sure this has been very confusing and mysterious for you, and for that I apologize. This is a very tricky situation, and we need to preserve some confidentiality."

Bill ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, it was a bit ominous. Judging by the reactions I got, whatever this is is a big deal."

His strange yellow eyes brightened and he laughed. "Yes, you could say that it's a big deal. Martini?" He held up a dainty glass that Bill swore hadn't been there before.

Bill squinted. "Do you have anything stronger?"

Maximilian chuckled, and swished the martini around. Lo and behold, the glass transformed into a cup of whiskey.

The youngest Cipher blinked, but accepted the drink without any questions and took a swig. "Oh, yeah, that's the stuff."

"So, Mr. Cipher, might I ask what your background is?' Maximilian seemed to have gotten a martini for himself.

"Well, I've dipped my hands into a lot of things, so you'll have to be more specific."

Maximilian popped an olive into his mouth. "Are you a city resident? What kind of work experience do you have?"

Bill took another swig of whiskey, but not enough to wash away all his wits. "I've been a city dweller for all my life, and I don't think that's going to change soon. I was a mechanic, I told you that one, but I've been doing a lot of freelance work on the side to make ends meet."

Maximilian raised an eyebrow, and he looked somewhat amused. "What kind of freelance work?"

"Oh, you know, odd jobs, I've actually learned how to make jewelry, if you can believe it. Really nice-looking pieces." That's right, Cipher. Lay it on thick.

"That's an impressive skill." The demon tapped his fingers on his chin. "I hope this isn't rude, but do you have any relation to Kill Cipher? Or do you just have similar names?"

He scoffed. He should've known this would come up. "Don't worry, I get that all the time," he drawled. "It's a bit helpful when trying to intimidate people, but truthfully I don't know him at all."

"Huh. Well, that's curious..." Maximilian reached for a thin folder on the other side of his desk and skimmed through it. "I went through the trouble of running a background check on you before I made my proposition, and it seems like there is a Kill, Will, and Bill Cipher living in apartment #137 on Canary Street."

Bill's blood ran cold.

The demon kept going. "Bill Cipher, born on the 13th of Jinxuen, currently twenty-two. Parents were killed in a riot when you were ten, leaving you homeless for several weeks. Kill, now twenty-seven, got recruited by the Biteryde Syndicate, Will, now twenty-four, was hired as a staff member at the Pool estate, and you were briefly employed as a mechanic for Mackerel Engines. You were let go six months later for reported theft. Since then, we've gotten several reports about you selling fake items without a permit, but you've always escaped capture. You are known acquaintances of Pyronica Flamme and Russell Connors."

This was a lot more dangerous than he had anticipated. He'd figured he had the safety of anonymity, but of course Alcor's lapdog would do a background check on him.

"But, to be quite honest, that was some impressive lying back there. I hoped you might try to, and if I didn't know the truth beforehand, I likely would've believed you."

Bill slammed the whiskey glass on the desk, but the demon didn't flinch. "As flattering as that is, you have to realize how unsettling it is, having you know my entire life's history. Give me one reason I shouldn't assume this is some elaborate scheme to get me arrested."

Maximilian waved his outburst off. "Why would I do that to such a promising new applicant?"

"Okay, the whole mystery shebang was cute before, but now I'm kind of over it. What exactly did I apply for?"

"Dealmaker."

The yellow-haired thief blinked. "Huh?"

"I believe you are an excellent candidate for the position of Dealmaker, one of the most important jobs in our society right now. That is, of course, if you're interested."

"I might be, if I knew what the hell that was. What is this, twenty questions?" Bill snapped.

"Did you know that the Ukrenium Council is on the brink of war?"

For once, Bill was rendered speechless. The Council had always seemed like this untouchable force that you either respected or died at the hands of. The idea of them being at war was laughable. "I did not."

Maximilian got up from his chair and started pacing around the room, and Bill swiveled his chair around to face him. "The Ukrenium Council is strong, but time and time again, their values become more defined and oppose each other. We thought we could keep them together for a while longer, maybe a century, but it's clear that there is no fixing the situation." He paused and looked right at Bill. "This is where the Dealmaker comes into play."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"The Council needs to be replaced with the most powerful demons that are available. Alcor has already made arrangements for the previous council, but one doesn't just become a council member. They all have their own ideals, and of course they'd need their own section of the city, and a salary, and why waste pointless hours debating when all that can be settled by one person? They will be magically bound to you, and you can discuss terms, and make them pledge loyalty to the government, because I know some will be opposed to that." The demon slammed a hand on the desk, making Bill flinch. "You will be the Dealmaker. You will be the future of Ukrenium."

Bill's head swam with this information, and Maximilian staring into his soul with those eyes of his didn't help matters. He still had a few questions, however. "Wait. Why isn't Alcor getting kicked off?"

Maximilian laughed. "Alcor? He would never. He's the glue holding this planet together."

Right. That's not cryptic at all, Bill thought bitterly. "Second question, why me? I mean, I know I'm talented, but if you didn't notice, I'm human. I don't have any magic to 'bind' people with."

His concerns were waved off. "That won't be a problem at all. Demons are not a race, exactly, but more of a culture. You can learn from Alcor."

What?

"We've actually had many applicants already, all of them being demons. I didn't even consider hiring a human, but so many of our demons turned out to be disappointments. I met you by pure luck, and I'm glad that I did, or I don't know what we would've done."

"Wait, wait, wait. Can you stop talking for a second?" Bill interrupted.

Maximilian finally shut up, and turned to Bill with large, attentive yellow eyes.

"I haven't even decided if I want this position, and you're already talking like I've accepted. At least give me some time to think about it."

A pause. Tension filled the air, but then dissipated as Maximilian laughed. He sat down at his desk and dug around in the drawers. "Of course, you're right. Sorry, I tend to ramble when I'm excited." He found what he was looking for and laid a sheet of paper out for Bill to see. "Here's your salary and any other information you might want to consider before making your decision."

Bill glossed over everything else and looked straight to the numbers on the bottom. His eyes grew twice in size. "Is that...is that right? That's not a typo, is it?"

"That's your annual salary, yes. I don't want to pressure you, but I'll expect an answer from you by-"

"I'll take it."

The advisor looked up and stared at him for a minute. "I'm sorry?"

"I said I'll take it. Do you have something for me to sign, or what do I do?" Bill asked. That was more money than he'd probably make in a lifetime. There was no absolute way he was passing on that.

"I..." Maximilian evidently decided not to question him any further, and picked up a folder and a pen from the other side of the desk. "If you would sign these, please. Read them carefully."

To his own surprise, he did, scrutinizing every word and looking for fine print. Once he was satisfied, he signed the papers with a flourish, and handed them back to Maximilian.

The demon grinned, his fangs glinting. "Welcome to the Pyramid, Bill Cipher."