. Broken .


"These aren't my people,

These aren't my friends.

She grabbed my face, and that's when she said,

~x~

'I like that you're broken,

Broken like me.

Maybe that makes me a fool.

I like that you're lonely,

Lonely like me.

I could be lonely with you.'"

~ "Broken" by lovelytheband


"Here you are," chirped a cheerful Lisanna, placing the cup of coffee into his hands, and Gajeel shifted uncomfortably, refusing to look at her face. "Free, on the house. Lucy said so." She nodded her head towards the blonde, who was halfway up a ladder with Yukino anxiously holding it in place. Fixing a sign, he thought. And being nosey, it looked like. She kept looking over her shoulder at him, her dark eyes curious and worried in a way that told him she'd either talked with Levy, who he'd not spoken to in days, or Natsu. He was willing to bet the latter.

There was barely a day they didn't see one another, and Natsu would spill any secret if Lucy merely batted her pretty eyes at him.

"Thanks," Gajeel muttered. He didn't bother to say anything else, turning on his heel and bringing the to-go cup to his mouth. It scalded his tongue and throat, but he didn't care, using the bitter taste of black coffee to try and force his thoughts away. He could have gone anywhere else. To an actual coffee shop that sold coffee, rather than this bakery full of people that shouldn't have been there.

Yet he'd gone there, because at the same time that he wanted to not see everyone...he wanted to see them.

It was a harsh combination that he couldn't figure out. He thought it was like someone had ripped a rug out from under him. The world was still the same. The people who'd been there the day before were still there. He was still there. Metalicana was still gone. He was still a student at a university, aiming to someday re-open the shop his father had once so proudly run.

Yet…

It was different.

People were different.

He was different.

And no one else was. He scrubbed a hand down his face as he walked down the street, unsure of what to do. His fingers wrenched almost painfully at the studs that resided there. No one else he'd come across seemed to know what to do. Metalicana would have known; he'd always known. And he was gone, long dead. How, no one knew.

He'd considered Levy as an option. She held that same odd feeling of simple knowing that Metalicana had exuded whenever he'd looked upon Gajeel. And there was no way in hell that she'd just randomly developed friendships like Natsu had described with people like Meredy and Jellal out of the blue. Lucy had known Levy for years, Natsu had said, and she'd not known a thing about the pair.

But what if she didn't? He didn't want to risk his little half-developed relationship with the shrimp because he'd thought something existed when it didn't.

Another stab of confusion flashed through him. She wasn't the Levy that he so clearly remembered now. She wasn't the one who he'd sacrificed himself for time and time again. He'd dreamed of that last moment, the last one he could remember, when things had gone so very wrong. He remembered the way that she'd been held back, screaming as he'd said his farewells to her.

As he'd admitted that he had hoped for a family with her.

It killed him. It killed him that she wasn't the same one yet looked so similar. It pissed him off, too. Because he knew that the second he looked at her now, he'd want to yell at her for trying to be someone she so very clearly wasn't, yet at the same time so very clearly was despite the fact that she couldn't see anything.

Gajeel wished he could go back to before this had all gone down. Wished he'd never sat down for a cranky lunch with Wendy after yelling at Natsu that morning. Wished he'd never even gone to yell at Natsu. He was pretty damn sure that was what had triggered it

"Hey! Gajeel!"

He was confused by the shout of his name, and immediately looked back. He nearly dropped his coffee when he saw none other than Lisanna squeezing through the people striding this way and that on the sidewalk to catch up with him. His lips quirked into a smirk despite his bad mood when she puffed her cheeks up and just started pushing, jogging when people finally made way. When she reached him, Lisanna was panting for breath.

"Gajeel!" she repeated with a wheeze, and he lifted his pierced brows.

"S'my name," he muttered. "Don't wear it out."

She rolled her eyes and then studied his face closely, making him uncomfortable. Out of all of the people he'd expected to end up in a conversation with, Lisanna Strauss was not it. He couldn't remember ever having been overly good friends with her. Now or then.

Her expression suddenly softened, her wide blue eyes gentle. "It's good to see you again."

This time, he really did drop his cup of coffee. It struck the pavement. "Huh?" he said oh-so-smartly, unable to believe what he'd just heard. She squawked at the coffee that had splattered her feet and stained her shoes, but he didn't care. Instead he squinted his crimson eyes at her. "Hold on just a fuckin' second. You remember?"

A wicked grin appeared on her face, completely in contrast with the look she'd worn a few moments beforehand. "Of course. My brother and sister, too. We started remembering years ago, when we first ended up in Magnolia." She rocked back on her heels, folding her hands behind her back, ignoring a few people that bustled past. She waited until the area calmed down before saying, "Did you not think it was entirely coincidence that we ended up working in a bakery named 'Heartfilia Bakery'?"

Gajeel grunted, not entirely sure. "Complete coincidence that everyone else is around here, ain't it?"

"...you've got a point there." Lisanna winced. "Most people are here by coincidence. We've been trying to figure out who remembers, too, but it's kind of difficult...we think Gray might remember, but aren't entirely sure."

Gajeel fought the urge to twitch at the familiar name. It was so strange, hearing people he knew existed in the same town - and had existed in the same town before, completely different. He considered asking if she knew about Levy, but instead grunted, "Juvia?" He'd thought about her, too. He'd never said it aloud, but she'd been a good friend to him - before anyone else had begun to warm up.

"She's not in town," Lisanna admitted, "but no. She doesn't remember. You'd think she did from the way she latched onto Gray though. They came across each other when Gray and Lyon were teaching some people about hiking in the mountains or something like that. Natsu and Lucy don't, but…" She shrugged. "Mira's bet that they'll remember eventually. The way they interact...you've seen it."

If Natsu and Lucy played around for much longer, Gajeel would crack their heads together until they did. It was pissing him off, seeing Natsu dancing around even worse than the last time.

Whatever that meant.

A huff left Gajeel, frustration flashing through him. He couldn't figure out what he was thinking and it frustrated him beyond belief. He just wanted to go back to the peace that came with not knowing.

"Have you seen Levy?" Lisanna suddenly asked softly. She furrowed her brow. "I guess you have since you're dating and all." Gajeel's gaze snapped to her. "Mira and I can't figure her out. If she remembers or not. We're leaning more towards the side that she does, but then she'll say or do something, and…" Lisanna shook her head, looking back up to him. One look at his guilty face made her grin. "You're avoiding her, aren't you?"

"How about you mind your own damn business," complained Gajeel under his breath. He gritted his teeth as Lisanna pointedly looked at him, waiting for a response. Fine. "Yeah," he muttered. "'Cause it's not the same."

"Mira and I thought that way for a long time," Lisanna said sympathetically. "Seriously, Gajeel, talk with Mira. She's in the same boat as you if Levy doesn't remember." Gajeel sent her an inquisitive glance, cocking a brow, and she smiled sorrowfully. "We found the Dreyars. Laxus doesn't remember either, but...I think there was enough that they're together. Even if Laxus is gone a lot."

"What about Makarov?" Gajeel asked, voice sharp.

Lisanna said nothing and despite not having remembered the old man until recently, Gajeel felt a stab of grief. Makarov had given him a chance when no one else would have considered doing so and because of that, he'd found himself with something he'd never expected to have: a family, albeit a family that was now in pieces.

Moving on hastily, Lisanna glanced back over her shoulder and said, "I know it sucks, Gajeel, but seriously. You and Levy...you looked happy when you stopped by together." Gajeel glowered at her, not at all pleased that she was clearly trying to push him towards something he was incredibly uncertain about. "Don't let something you didn't expect stop you from being happy, Gajeel." She smiled kindly. "I have to get back, but think on it, okay? It was good to see you." She waved, and then took off for the bakery without a backwards look.

Gajeel watched her go and then dropped his chin so his eyes rested on the coffee that he'd dropped. Slowly, he stooped and scooped up the empty cup and frowned at it, pierced brows drawn downward. "What the fuck just happened?"


Clack, clack, clack. The cane in her hand hit the ground repeatedly in a constant rhythm as she paced through the museum, double checking as she closed it down. She was a little wary about the fact that Meredy had disappeared earlier in the day - something about going to find Ultear. She was, after all, a thief in a museum full of incredibly valuable artifacts.

Jellal had thought otherwise, however. "She won't steal anything here," he'd promised quietly as he'd zipped up his coat. "She knows not to. I'm going to see if I can find Erza...even if she doesn't remember, seeing her would be pleasant."

Which was how, for the first time in some time, Levy was alone. She'd let them stay in her apartment, aware that it was probably an odd thing to do when she'd basically only met them under a month ago, but she trusted them enough. She'd worked alongside them, knew them. They were trustworthy.

Clack, clack, clack. Her cane struck something hard. A wall, she noticed when she reached out with her fingers, brushing them over the stone. She fumbled carefully alongside it to flip a series of switches down. She couldn't tell if the lights were off, but she trusted other curators who'd told her that the lights were off when they came in during the morning.

Normally, Levy would have lingered in the museum until late, but she didn't want to remain among the reminders that night. Lucy had been distant as of late, sticking around Natsu more often than not. Not that Levy would have discouraged it. She hoped that they were happy together. They deserved it. Others had dragged her mood down, however, too. Gray still wouldn't speak with her. She didn't know who outside of he, Jellal, and Meredy remembered. She'd still not found her two friends from the old days, her teammates.

And then there was Gajeel, who she found she missed dearly. So much so that her heart ached. He'd not come around in days, though Natsu, who'd also been avoiding the museum and her, had been kind enough to let her know he was okay and just in a bad mood about something.

Levy raked a hand through her blue hair and then headed for her office. It didn't take her long to get her things and then she was stepping outside, locking the door behind her. She started across the way, having taken the path enough times that she wasn't all too concerned about where she was going. The last bus would wait a few extra minutes to see if she was coming, and she'd be there when it was that day.

At least, she'd thought she was going to be until a very familiar and gruff voice said, "Levy."

She dropped her cane, jumping, and swore under her breath. Rather than turning to try and find the source of the noise, she knelt, reaching around to try and find her damn cane. She was going to ditch it, she thought crossly. She wanted to get something that wasn't going to disappear…a service animal, perhaps, would be more beneficial…

There was a snort, and then her cane was being pressed into her fingers. "Gajeel," she said stiffly, realizing she was angry with him for not coming around sooner. Or letting her know at least that he wouldn't. He'd always let her know when he'd be gone for extended periods of time in the past -

But, she supposed, forcing herself to lose that thought, this wasn't the past.

This was the present, and everyone was completely different than what she remembered - while scarily similar at the same time.

She waited until she was balanced on her feet before squaring her shoulders and saying, deciding there was no point in keeping up her agitation, "Are you alright? You haven't called or anything." She bit her lip; she supposed her issue was much like the one Lucy had experienced with Natsu not too long ago. Natsu had avoided Lucy after some rather rough dreams and Lucy had been hurt and angry about it.
Gajeel let out a loud huff, and she felt rather than heard him shift nervously. It made her lips quirk up in amusement. He was nervous. He knew that he'd done wrong by not contacting her after Natsu had come racing through demanding to know if she'd seen his cousin.

Finally, he grunted, "M'fine. Just...had somethin' come up I didn't expect." There was movement as he shifted again, moving back and forth, and Levy lifted a brow, amused. Someone was really nervous. Interesting.

She'd been worried initially when Gajeel had disappeared that he'd remembered, that he was reacting much like Gray had to the sudden influx of memories. Now...she wasn't sure. He didn't seem any different. So, she kept her mouth shut about it, her stomach churning. She wanted to outright ask, but didn't want to sound insane. Gently, she said instead, "I won't pry, but...you can let me know, you know. If you're going to skip out on a date."

"Shit," he muttered, sounding guilty, "I forgot about that."

Levy grinned. "I thought as much." They'd had one planned for two days prior, and she'd decided to go despite having not heard from him. At least the meal had been good, even if she'd felt a little lonely while eating it. "I'd also appreciate a little head's up that you're okay after Natsu comes tearing through saying you've disappeared."

It was so awkward, she wanted to cry when he simply grunted again, seeming lost in thought. She let out a large huff, deciding she needed to get a move on if he wasn't going to get to the point. "I have to catch the bus," she said, gesturing in what she hoped was the right direction. She'd managed to get a disoriented thanks to him. "So-"

A large calloused hand gripped her forearm, cutting her off, and she paused, completely confused. "Hold on," he said firmly with a hint of alarm. She did as he asked, waiting. It took him a moment before he suddenly dropped her arm as if she'd burned him and he finally just said, a growl-like sound in the back of his throat, "What are you doing here?"

That had not been what she expected. To be honest, at this point, she'd been expecting a much more disappointing statement. Something along the lines of him not wanting to come around anymore, that he didn't like a person who couldn't see him. She'd not have blamed him, but still.

"I...work here?" Levy said hesitantly, caught off guard by his question. "You know that."

"I mean," he said hotly, annoyed that she didn't seem to be listening, "what are you doing in Magnolia? Why here? You shouldn't have been here."

"I live here? Gajeel, can you please tell me where you're going with this? I have a bus to catch, and…" She trailed off, suddenly frowning. And then she nearly dropped her cane a second time.

She'd not thought he remembered, but-

The last time they'd seen one another, before the first time at the university, they'd not been anywhere near Magnolia.

"Oh," she breathed, and a hysterical laugh escaped her, bubbling up from her chest. She pressed a hand to her heart when it skipped a beat. "You…" A sound of discomfort left him, and she immediately touched the cloth at her eyes. She was crying, she realized, and gave another laugh.

"After making one hell of a speech, you took a while to remember." A rush of air left him, relief evident from the way he relaxed just a fraction. He was still fairly uncomfortable though,she thought. She continued, her voice trembling, "I thought you might, with what Natsu said, but I...I wasn't sure, and-"

He made a low sound in his throat and muttered, "Lisanna said you probably did, but she couldn't figure it out." Levy's breath hitched in surprise. Lisanna remembered? She'd not even noticed, in all of the years she'd been working at the Heartfilia Bakery while Levy visited…

Gajeel suddenly spoke again, his voice angry, "What the fuck is going on? Why are we here? These...this isn't what should have happened. I remember what happened. I shouldn't be here. And I sure as hell don't deserve…" He didn't finish, but Levy knew immediately what he was saying.

Even after everything, the idiot didn't think he'd done enough to make up for all of the bad he'd done in an entirely different life. Fearlessly, Levy gently touched his arm, fingers caressing the skin there before she took hold of it. He stiffened, not entirely sure what to do, and she simply smiled kindly and said, "I don't know. I don't know what happened. I've researched it as best as I could. I don't know anything about what happened to allow such a thing, but…" She shrugged. She could name the fate of each and every person from before, but she couldn't tell anyone what had happened to bring them back. She looked at the past, not the present or future.

She hesitated, suddenly realizing that he wasn't pleased about the matter of him remembering as she was, and then said quietly, "You hate it. That you remember."

"It pisses me off," he grumbled in admittance. "I don't like it."

Levy pressed her mouth into a hard line, hurt, but not wanting to push her opinion on him. She thought it was good, that they'd all been brought back. But...it looked as if the one who she'd missed most was leaning more towards Gray's opinion of the whole matter. So, she let go of him. She stepped back, clearing her throat.

Better to accept it now then be hurt when he turned on her later. She still pushed that smile to her face, just as she did every day as the world moved around her, more blind than she, while she stayed in one place.

She licked her lips, and said, "You can think what you want. Hate it, like Gray, or embrace it full-heartedly like Jellal and Meredy have. They've searched the country for us, you know." She heard him grunt in response to that. "But it's happened. You can't go back."

She couldn't say she understood what the others were going through; she'd been born with the memories. She remembered her parents concern when she'd first began inquiring about the people in her head. The dreams. She remembered her mother's eventual rejection, disgusted with the fact that she was so odd and different when she'd pictured the perfect child.

She'd hated those memories for years, until she'd found Lucy. They'd marked her as different, something only furthered after she'd been blinded. But she'd grown to like the memories, reassured by them with Lucy's presence. And when Gray had initially come around, him, too. Neither had remembered, but she had, and knowing they were alive and happy had been enough.

Gajeel surprised her with a rather loud snort, sounding darkly amused as he said, "The fuck makes you think I don't know that?" She steeled herself against the rude comment, keeping quiet. "I didn't say," he continued after a moment, "that I hated it. Just...pisses me off. Can't figure things out. I just...known people, but I don't know people. They're not the same."

"But they are?" Levy finished, smiling lightly again, relieved. "Just because I've remembered for some time doesn't mean I don't still get confused," she added when he made a sound of disbelief. "I've just accepted it and moved on. There's people I can talk about certain things with and people I can't." She felt a twist of nervousness as she offered, "I know it's really confusing, and that I'm not completely whole in terms of what you've remembered," she gestured bitterly to her eyes, though she meant far more than that, "but...please don't leave." Her voice trembled, and she felt guilty for the selfish request.

"You don't...you don't have to keep dating me," she added, faltering. "I get it that I'm not the other Levy." Just as he wasn't the Gajeel she remembered. He was someone new, and someone old, all at the same time. "But just...please don't leave completely. There aren't many people who remember, and Gray won't talk with me. Meredy and Jellal won't be around forever, and who knows when or even if Natsu and Lucy will remember."

She was just tired of suffering through all of this on her own.

Silence fell, and she furiously wished she could see for the first time in a while. And then a heavy hand suddenly dropped on her head. "Fuck it," muttered Gajeel, roughy messing with her hair and earning a squawk of confusion. "Just 'cause I don't like that I remember doesn't mean I can't hang around."

Levy's knees nearly buckled in her relief and she smiled shakily, even as calloused fingers gently skimmed over the cloth and the scars that had just barely been revealed by his actions. She knew instinctively he wanted the cloth gone, to see what resided beneath, but she didn't want to ruin the warmth of the moment.

She would tell him another day, she decided, leaning into his touch for the briefest of instances.

Finally, however, she straightened and said with a grimace, "Please tell me you have your car with you. I need a ride home."

Gajeel patted her on the head one more time and said, "C'mon, I'll drive ya."

Trusting him full heartedly, Levy let her fingers touch his arm and allowed him to guide her forward.


Gajevy-centric chapter, and then back to Natsu and Lucy dancing around like a bunch of idiots! Seriously though, the part where I wrote Gajeel wrenching his piercings makes me cringe every time I see it. I have a stud in my nose I accidentally yank on sometimes and it hurts like hell. I've pulled the stud out by accident once.

On another note that I think is important! There have been questions on if this follows BTL, and I'm here to say the answer: NO. This does not follow up BTL, although with the idea, I actually considered it for some time. This is basically if the end of the manga went to hell. Natsu is written out of existence, Gajeel disappeared with the Bloodman battle, everyone else was killed by Acnologia, etc.

Thanks to reviewers (alexithynia, stranger1999, Lucy Yvonne, AlaskaHolmes90786, FairyTail9908, FairyTailBookworm, PinkFireandGoldenStars, and Lodemai04!) as well as those who favorited and followed!