. Always .
"And I'll be there forever and a day, always
I'll be there 'til the stars don't shine.
…
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life.
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry,
One that made you have to say goodbye.
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair,
To touch your lips, to hold you near."
~ "Always" by Bon Jovi
"We're leaving."
Levy masked her shock with unsurprising ease; the only sign of her shock was the way that her fingers tightened around her white cane. "Why?" she asked warily, turning her face towards the direction that Jellal's voice had come from. She'd known that something had changed. He'd been quieter the past few nights - quieter than she supposed was normal for him. Meredy had been, too, although she'd been more willing to share why.
She'd seen Ultear, but it had been clear that Ultear had no idea who she was when she'd hesitantly approached. She'd been curt to Meredy, but polite, and Meredy had left feeling reassured that Ultear was, at the very least, alive, even if she'd not be having anything to do with Meredy. Jellal, on the other hand, had remained silent about what had happened when he'd been out not too long ago.
Jellal snorted softly, and Levy could practically picture a small little smile of amusement plastered upon his face. "We found who we were seeking," he said simply, "so it's time we move on." Jellal paused, and then added, "We're going to seek out others who might know, in other towns and countries. Try to figure out a list of those who remember and then, perhaps, help them get here. This seems to be a good place for them to gather. A safe one."
Levy considered that and then nodded. "Send them my way, if they do," she said simply, "and I'd be more than happy to help them, depending on who they are." She hoped no old enemies regained their memories if they were around; it wouldn't be good for those who lived in peace and had no memories to consider.
Meredy hummed and touched Levy's arm gratefully. "Thank you, for everything, Levy. Make sure you keep a close eye on those here who remember."
Levy nodded, realizing that when they'd said they were leaving, they meant immediately. "I will. Hopefully Gray will warm up eventually...I think he'd be a lot happier if he did." She shifted her weight from one hip to the other. "Thank you. For finding me. I'm so grateful that you did. It's nice to not be alone anymore." And even when they were gone, she wouldn't be. She had Gajeel. And they had plans for breakfast at the Heartfilia Bakery in a few days, where she fully intended to confront whatever Strauss sibling was there.
The pair bid her farewell, and Levy did the same, admittedly reluctant. She'd liked having them around, although she did have both of their phone numbers in her phone now. She turned to head back for her office i the museum, but paused when Jellal called her name, sounding fairly far already, much to her confusion. "Yes?"
"Keep an eye out for Erza," he said simply, and Levy knew without having to see that they were gone after that.
A soft happy sound escaped him as the person he had wrapped his arms around curled closer, mumbling in their sleep. His eyes never left the top of her head as he let her nestle closer to the warmth he offered, his arms tightening even. He would have surrounded her entirely, if he could have. Become a protective shield between her and everything that had ever threatened to harm her.
The familiar smell of starlight tickled his nose and he exhaled happily, a soft rumbling sound leaving his chest. It was entirely unlike any other sound he'd made, he couldn't help but think, but he didn't care. He was happy - truly, delightedly happy - that he was there. That she was, too. He didn't think he'd ever been this happy, even.
He wasn't sure how long they were lying like that together. He didn't really notice the passing of time, even as sunlight began to shine through the windows, dancing along her hair and turning it into a brandished gold that seemed to glow like the loveliest of stars. She grumbled, hiding her face further against him, and he couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.
She always did this. Always tried to hide from the sun. He shifted carefully to help, trying his hardest to keep this going longer. But it did no good, only woke her up faster, and she finally huffed against him. He fought back a shiver when her breath kissed the bare skin of his neck. "You shouldn't be in here," she mumbled.
He snickered in her ear, not inclined to move even as he caught sight of a blush forming along her cheeks and nose. "It's nicer here." Well, that wasn't the only reason he came over often. But he wasn't about to admit that he couldn't sleep without being reassured that she was there. He gently wound his fingers through her long golden locks, heart wrenching. Never again, he told himself. Never again would he leave her.
"What aren't you telling me?" Her murmur dragged his attention back to her face.
"No reason."
She huffed again. "Don't lie to me. Don't even bother. Tell me." She added quietly, "Please? You're not...you're not leaving again, are you?" Her arms tightened suddenly around him. "Please don't...or take me with you if you are."
He opened his mouth to respond, his heart wrenching at the sheer agony in her voice. Did she truly think that he would-
Natsu snapped awake, heart racing in his chest. A voice murmured in his ear, "Natsu?" as fingers gently and soothingly dragged through his hair. A comforting touch, one that he appreciated immensely. It took him a few moment to reorient himself. He wasn't in bed with the starlit girl he loved fiercely in his dreams; no, instead, he was half-sprawled in a chair in the corner of the Heartfilia Bakery. He'd dozed off while she'd gone to work for the first time in three days, perfectly content to relax while she fixed up the bakery.
Sunlight shone through the window, warming his skin. He scrubbed tiredly at his eyes, furrowing his brow. Lucy stood beside him, her dark eyes worried. "Are you okay?" she asked, and he blinked when she suddenly drug her fingers through his rosy locks again. He wanted to purr at the touch; even leaned into it. A small smile appeared on her mouth, and he realized he was relieved to see it. She looked as exhausted as he felt.
"Yeah," he said, voice hoarse. He cleared his throat and then smiled faintly at her in return. She paused, hand still resting on his head, and then withdrew a little, averting her gaze. He snorted in amusement at the flustered look that appeared on her face, but pretended he didn't see and rested his head back in his arms. His smile disappeared as he let his mind drift back to his dream. "Was a good dream," he murmured softly. "I didn't want to wake up."
He didn't explain further; Lucy didn't pry. Instead, she said dryly, "I wish we could switch just for a night. Or not dream at all for a few. I'm not going to be able to keep up with this for much longer."
"You slept okay the other night though, right?" He'd stayed at her apartment throughout the blizzard - having let Wendy and Gajeel know, of course - and had mostly crashed on her couch. He knew precisely how much sleep she'd gotten, and dared her to lie about it. Just as the girl in his dream had dared him to lie to her-
He shook his head sharply to clear it. They were not the same, Natsu told himself fiercely.
"Yes," she said and slid into the seat across from him. She rubbed her temples. "I did. Thank you," she added, "for staying around for that long. I did sleep better with someone else around. Not as well as I would have liked, but better, nonetheless."
"S'not like I could go anywhere while it was snowing," Natsu snorted, but still beamed, proud that he'd helped her in such a way. He put his head back in his arms, sleepy still, and closed his eyes. Lucy smiled fondly and reached over to pat his head. "I'm not a dog," he protested without opening his eyes.
Lucy simply laughed, and the sound was one he immediately found he was extremely fond of. "Your hair's soft," she admitted. "And I like the color. It's fun to play with."
He snapped his eyes open immediately. "You like it?" he said, surprised. "Everyone thinks its weird."
She shrugged and leaned back in her chair. He watched every movement she made with intensity, eager to hear why. Her opinion mattered more than anyone else's. Everything about her mattered, actually, and the realization made something curl painfully in his chest.
Natsu found he cared for Lucy immensely. So long as she was happy...he thought he could be happy.
"It's unique," she said, meeting his gaze hesitantly. She suddenly looked nervous, and it made him want to tease her, although he kept quiet, simply waiting to hear what she said. He met her eyes head on, searching them as he listened. "And it's unique only to you. It's a part of who you are. I couldn't imagine you with any other color of hair, nor any other kind of hair style." She reached out, gaze softening, and tugged lightly on a lock that hung in his eyes. She proceeded to push it back, fingers skimming the strands happily. "Need I say more?"
Yes. He almost said it. Simply because he wanted to hear more of what she thought. But she clearly didn't want to, so he shook his head. He continued to watch her in silence for a few moments, his mind drifting back to what Wendy had said - and what he'd thought in response.
Lucy wasn't her. Lucy wasn't the one he'd been pressed up against in his dream - the girl of starlight, who'd brought warmth. But she certainly filled that hole the girl left behind rather well. He couldn't imagine what life had been like before he'd entered the Heartfilia Bakery and met her.
No, Natsu thought. Lucy wasn't the starlit girl, but she was real, and she was Lucy. He would never ask her to live up to that girl - just as he knew she'd never ask anyone to live up to the one she'd described to him as someone she loved fiercely, who smelled of smoke.
He liked Lucy. A lot. He liked the way she looked when she smiled just for him, the way she would check in on him every now and then when he was in her bakery, the way she fondly brushed against him whenever she was around. He liked the trust and faith she'd put in him, something he'd returned without hesitation. Lucy was different than everyone else, special.
Lucy would never replace that odd woman from his dreams, Natsu knew as she rose to her feet, her smile never fading, but she was special enough to carve her own place into his soul. And he was entirely okay with that. She turned to go back to work and Natsu swiftly snagged her wrist to stop her. She glanced back at him questioningly, arching a brow.
He responded by smirking up at her. "I like your hair, too," he said, and snickered when she turned red, muttered something under her breath, and rushed off, eager to brush off the compliment. Natsu cackled, amused with her response, and reached for his semi-cold coffee.
"Why are you always here?" Gray complained from where he was seated across from Natsu at the very same table several hours later. "Don't you have a job or something?"
"No," Natsu grumbled, glaring at Gray as the other man tipped his head back to drain what was left of his coffee. "I don't." He felt a little guilty about that sometimes, but...he didn't need one. Nor did Wendy or Gajeel. Their parents had set them up securely before they'd disappeared, which made it overall suspicious, Natsu supposed. They didn't have extra money a lot of the time, as the money that was released bit by bit every month was all they got from what was offered.
He'd been thinking about it lately though. He liked Lucy's bakery; it made him wonder what kind of shop he'd like to have. He liked the idea of owning his own place and doing what he wanted, although he wasn't sure what exactly he'd do.
Gray was quiet for a few minutes after setting aside his empty paper cup. He watched the busy bakery in silence, his dark eyes darting this way and that, following various people. Natsu watched how he'd grin whenever Lucy glanced their way, mocking her with playful faces. Lucy would roll her eyes but smile every time. Natsu felt a twist of jealousy every time it happened, but told himself it was ridiculous.
Lucy had other friends and she was allowed to do whatever she wanted.
But it didn't mean he had to like the ease with which she interacted with Gray - which was even more so than she did with Natsu sometimes.
"What about you?" Natsu challenged suddenly. "Don't you have a job or something?"
"I teach people to hike in the mountains," he said smugly. "On and off job every few months. It pays really well so I don't have to do anything when I'm not away."
Natsu bristled. He made it sound as if Natsu was wasting his time without a job or anything similar. He grumbled and went to work on ignoring him, wishing he'd go sit somewhere else. More silence filled the air and then Gray asked with a surprisingly peaceful tone, "Are you trying to do anything?" Natsu glanced at him, confused, and Gray clarified, "I mean work-wise. Are you trying to find something?"
Natsu shrugged. "We don't have to work," he said, not entirely sure why he was telling Gray of all people. "Our parents left us with enough money to get by for life if we wanted. There's not a lot of extra or anything, but it's enough to live comfortably. But yeah. I guess I've been lookin' around lately." He'd even looked into the museum Levy worked at, but had decided against it.
He had a knack for breaking things, and he didn't want to upset everyone in his vicinity if he broke some precious artifact.
"Have you thought about something with fire?"
"Why? There's not work that goes with fire." Natsu arched a brow at him, curious. "I mean, I could go and volunteer as a firefighter or something, but the fun part is starting the fires." He grimaced a moment later. "That doesn't sound right. I don't like starting fires. Well, bad fires. I like bonfires and stuff, I guess, but-"
Gray snickered, entirely amused with his panic. "I get it," he interrupted. He rocked back, folding his arms. "Dunno what to tell you to do in that case, but...you'll find something."
"Thanks, I think." Natsu eyed him in confusion. Gray was giving off the weird feeling that Levy often did, that his cousin now gave off. Shaking it off, Natsu went to speak, opening his mouth to ask curiously if he could hear more about Gray's job despite his agitation with the other man, but was interrupted by the odd bell attached to the door of the bakery. It rung softly, echoing in his head, and he grimaced, rubbing his forehead when a throb went through his skull. He was going to "accidentally" break the bell, he decided.
He and Gray hung out for another hour and a half. Natsu never thought there'd be a day where he was content to sit with Gray, but Gray kept his mouth shut and so did Natsu, and the entire thing wasn't entirely unpleasant. Lucy even remarked about how companionable they were being that day when she swept by, affectionately smiling at them both. Natsu was too pleased by the sight of the glowing happy look on her face to protest.
Eventually, however, Gray rose to leave, yawning. "Better get going," he said, though natsu hadn't asked for an explanation. "Gotta call Lyon and see when we're heading out again. Keep an eye on Lucy for me, would you? Don't think I didn't miss the bags under her eyes. She needs to get some proper sleep."
"I've been trying," grumbled Natsu. "She keeps having nightmares."
Gray's lips quirked. "You have a cat, right? Lend her the cat a few days, see if it helps." Gray pushed his hands into his pockets. "Having company might help her sleep better. She's always slept better when someone else was around to keep her company."
Natsu didn't like the idea of leaving his cat with anyone for a few days, whether it was someone he fully trusted or not. But for Lucy… "I'll see if she's up for trying it." Maybe he'd ship Wendy off to her place for a few nights. Wendy had mentioned that he needed someone to take care of and that he needed someone who would take care of him in turn. Maybe Lucy was the same.
"Thanks." Gray flashed him a surprisingly friendly grin and then shouted a farewell to Lucy before he headed for the door. Natsu watched him go, even as Lucy came to stand beside him, watching Gray leave.
"He was friendly today," she murmured.
Natsu glanced at her from the corner of his eye and then looked back towards where Gray had gone, the door shutting behind him and making his head hurt when the bell jingled again. "Yeah...hey, do you want to borrow Happy for a few days?" She looked at him in surprise, completely confused. "Makes me feel better to pet him when I've had a nightmare. Might help if you sleep with him."
Lucy blinked, and then threw her head back and laughed. "Why not," she agreed, smiling warmly at him before going back to work behind the counter. "We'll discuss details later," she called back.
Natsu grinned and waved her off, sitting back to watch her again.
He'd have to thank Gray for this later.
Gray had fully intended to call Lyon, though he'd been avoiding speaking with him simply because it hurt to. He owed his adopted brother a call, and knew that Lyon would be a mixture of concerned and angry when he finally did. The two were rather close, he liked to think, after living under Ur's watchful eye for so long.
But that plan came to an end ten minutes later when he turned a street corner, number half-dialed in his hand, and nearly slammed right into a very startled woman. Gray recognized her immediately and froze. Erza blinked back at him in alarm, her dark eyes stretching wide. "Oh," she stammered, stepping back. "Forgive me, Gray, I wasn't watching where I was going."
"No problem," Gray said, clearing his throat awkwardly. He hadn't seen her in a while - not since he'd first remembered, although he'd heard she came by the bakery on occasion. He put his phone away, rubbing his head. His heart twisted painfully as he studied her. Erza looked anxious and upset, and was even fidgeting with her fingers, something he'd never recalled her doing in the past. Then again, this was a different Erza, he had to remind himself.
This wasn't the Erza he had known.
Still…
"Everything alright?" he asked.
She studied his face, exhausted, and then admitted, "No. Things have been odd for me lately." She smiled ruefully. "Though I doubt it's of much interest to anyone else as of this moment."
Gray squinted thoughtfully at her. There was something, something that reminded him of-
He stilled. The pain in her eyes,..it was exactly like the pain he felt, although somewhat dimmed in comparison to what he thought he felt about everything.
A gust of air rushed out of him. "You remember, too," he realized aloud, hoping he'd not made a mistake in understanding. She blinked, confused by what he meant. "You remember everything."
Erza blinked once, shocked, and then smiled widely despite herself, her eyes flickering with sorrow. "It is good to hear that someone else does, too," she admitted. "I wasn't sure what to think initially, but...I believe it is something I will learn to live with. I'm very pleased to see you again, Gray."
He hated that he remembered, but still. He grinned in response. "Same to you, Erza." He grunted when she dragged him in for a hug, the way she did so very like what she'd once done. He was just grateful she didn't wear hard plates of armor now a days. And, despite himself, he found that he was hugging her back almost immediately, arms tight around his friend. She squeezed him just as tightly, and neither minded that they were nearly suffocating one another in the process. Eventually, Erza stepped back, her fingers curled gently around his wrists in a friendly manner.
"The others," she began, and Gray grimaced.
"Lucy and Natsu don't remember anything," he told her firmly. "A couple others do, though. I've been told Lisanna does, and Mira." Erza looked relieved at that. "Gajeel, Levy, Jellal, Meredy. I think Lucy and Natsu might be on the verge of remembering." With the supposed constant nightmares they both had, they had to be. He felt a little guilty for hoping they didn't remember. He was just starting to figure things out like they were now...he didn't want another person popping up to screw his thought process up.
But it wasn't so bad, he supposed, standing before Erza. He was happy she was there, even, remembering everything that he did.
For the first time, he didn't mind the memories. Didn't mind that he was stuck with two lives in one head. It was actually kind of nice, seeing someone he'd thought dead in another life standing before him.
"I was on my way to the Heartfilia Bakery," Erza admitted. "To see who was there...would you care to join me?"
Gray shook his head. "I have to go and call my brother," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "We've got another trip out here in a few months - we teach hikers and mountain climbers and stuff," he added when she looked confused. "But you should definitely hang around the bakery. For some reason, it's like a gathering point for us that remember. And go to the local museum. Levy works there, and it has a bunch of stuff from before."
Erza nodded. "Thank you," she said politely before offering a small smile. "Perhaps we could get lunch sometime. You know Lucy in this time, yes? I'll leave my number with her so that she can send it to you."
"Sounds good." Gray flashed her a final grin. "See ya later, Erza."
She responded with a warm smile in turn. "I believe you will," she murmured, and then continued on her path to the Heartfilia Bakery.
Gray watched her go and pushed a hand through his dark hair, grimacing. Maybe the memories weren't as bad as he'd thought they were…?
Erza! And some cute moments. I'm working my way towards some Nalu, and then we can have a moment I've been waiting to write. ;)
Thanks to reviewers (itsxoi, stranger1999, LePengwen, and Multiphandomaltrash!) as well as those who favorited and followed!
