The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 12: What He's Looking For (Side Story)
A/N: I know many of y'all would like to see more Kakashi POV so this short story is entirely from his perspective. BUT! The events of this side story take place long before the start of this fic's main events. How long? Let's see...
About 17 years ago on a sunny September day...
They'd raised the prices on the gum again. Under normal circumstances, Kakashi would've thought that was absurd. Really, 4 ryos for a few sticks of gum with a strawberry flavor that would last for only—what?—fifty chews? But it was also understandable given that the war efforts required such generous financial contributions. Money didn't grow on trees and soldiers didn't come back to life. It was to be expected that the economy would tank during war, but looking at the propaganda posters, anyone would think Fire country was thriving. It was the exact opposite, however, and the high inflation, budget deficits, rise in taxes, and reduced consumption of goods only proved that. So he was loathed to think that he would have to waste a couple of ryo on a pack of gum, but he also wanted to support the soldiers on the frontlines.
With a sigh of defeat, he snatched the pack of gum off the stand before traipsing further down the store in search of his journey's main quest item. There wasn't really much supply to offer these days, and even less food to fill the shelves. But Kakashi wasn't here today to buy some bread or milk, so he had no need to worry about that. All he needed to worry about was looking for the right condoms. And as he entered the aisle of pleasure to peruse his selection for the day, his presence did not go by without notice from a nearby clerk. It was not entirely unusual to see a boy in this aisle, but the clerk had certainly not anticipated that the purpose of the boy's presence here was for contraception. Perhaps he thought the boy was buying for his father, or maybe even an older friend—which, technically, Kakashi suppose he was. But the clerk seemed adamant in keeping his eye on him and Kakashi did his best to ignore him. There was also the possibility that the guy thought he was a shoplifter. After all, despite the clean way Kakashi dressed in his slim dark jeans and black shirt, he did have the rugged gaze of a kid who'd been beaten up by life but was now ready to fight back. That, and the apathetic darkness in his eyes tended to disturb adults whenever they encountered a kid who was too young to look at them like they were the ones who were younger.
Although to be fair with the clerk, there had been an increase in theft and street crime ever since the war had started, so Kakashi didn't blame the guy for dogging after him up and down the aisle.
"Uh, hi…?"
The words came muffled through Kakashi's headphones. With a heavy sigh, he slowly reached up and tugged the headphones down to let them rest on his shoulders, but the music continued to blare loudly through both sides of the speakers. The clerk's brow twitched when the boy in front of him still didn't even spare him a glance.
A throat was cleared, and then, "Hi?"
Finally turning to meet the annoyed face of the man, Kakashi crinkled his eyes at him. "Yes, I heard you the first time."
The clerk's brows twitched harder and he shuffled a step closer, still not quite sure how to approach him or maybe the subject before them. "Uh, did you need help finding anything today?" he asked in a peppy voice, remembering to plaster his customer-service smile back on.
"Yeah, what kind of condoms would a girl like?"
The clerk blinked at him. "P-Pardon?"
"What kind of condoms would a girl like?"
Realizing the boy wasn't joking, the guy's face reddened and he stammered, "I-I-I do-don't know!"
Hmm, pity. "Then I guess you can't help me," Kakashi sighed out, wandering further down the aisle to let the guy lick his wounds.
Ignoring the aghast look cast his way, Kakashi studied a box of condoms that were of various colors and various tropical flavors including strawberry, apple, orange, banana, and—oh!—even cherry. If his suspicions were correct, however, he doubted anyone would appreciate a cherry-flavored condom that tasted more medicinal than fruity. Still, maybe Sakae wouldn't care. She'd always had a wicked tongue that could handle the taste of anything, which Kakashi had learned when she'd swallowed down his cum like she was sucking up the last dregs of a vanilla milkshake.
But Kakashi set down the box and picked up the standard, ultra-fine lubricated condoms instead.
Tonight, he didn't plan to get another blowjob in the back of an abandoned lot. Tonight was meant to be the first lay of his life if he played all his cards right, which he'd had no problem doing so in the past few weeks since the night of his birthday when Sakae had taken him into the backyard to give him his first kiss. Even if the kiss had happened through his mask, she'd liked it enough to guide his hand to her generous breasts which he'd always taken the time to admire during dinners when she'd eat across him with her breasts resting on the edge of the table so that he could study the way a stray crumb would disappear down the same cleavage he often dreamt of burying his face in. And then the week after that, he'd guided her hand to cup him through his jeans, encouraging her to slip that hand down his pants and fist his cock well enough to make him burst into the cage of her fingers. The next week, it was her turn to guide his hand down her shorts too.
It should have left him quivering with trepidation when he'd slipped his finger inside her the first time, hearing her cry out either from pain or pleasure or both. Instead, Kakashi had felt no sense of fear or anxiety—or anything, really, save for the sense of satisfaction and curiosity as he explored the velvet insides of a girl for the first time. His fingers had to have been good enough if it eventually had Sakae collapsing against him, shaking and whimpering as if she was in pain but smiling like she enjoyed it. And so it was last week when Kakashi had to tug his mask back on and pull his face out from between her legs to ask if she could repeat what she'd just said.
'If you can get your hands on a condom, I'll do it with you.'
'Do what?' he'd asked her, her orgasm staining the thin cloth of his mask.
'Sex,' she'd purred in his ear, just as he'd expected.
And so in Kakashi's young but precocious mind, of course it only made sense that he would obey the lady's wishes—as well as his own—and seek out the item of his quest. As it was now, he tossed the box of condoms in his hand much like he would as if he was a character from a video game doing a little victory jig, tossing his trophy in a show of smug triumph. His Walkman had stopped playing music, but he would be on his way home soon to swap out the batteries.
However, because it was still just a bit too early in the noon to return to the orphanage and catch Mrs. Matsuda breathing fire out her mouth with more bitching, he took a turn in to the next aisle full of baby diapers. The efflorescent smell of baby wipes assaulted his nose, sweet as a baby's bum and much to odoriferous for Kakashi's tastes. Then again, he'd always despised the pungent chemicals of perfume. However, the stray pug in the alley across school was in desperate need of diapers since his crippled hind legs always trailed right through his own filth and feces, and Kakashi had grown tired of bathing the old dog daily with a neighbor's sort-of borrowed hose.
In the midst of studying the difference between 'disposable diapers' and 'disposable underwear', Kakashi was indifferent to the cart that rolled up near him just a respectable foot away. At the background of his thoughts regarding the expensive cons of disposable underwear, a woman's voice spoke aloud, her words lashing out with the venomous bite of anger. She wasn't speaking to him, of course, since he definitely had nothing to do with the 'sorry piece of sods who don't know a leaf from a ryo bill'.
Inclined to give her a wide berth and let the lady yell into the phone without breaking his left eardrum, Kakashi sidled over a step or two. Apparently, it wasn't enough distance, however, as he felt something bump the side of his left sneaker.
He peered down from the disposable diapers and to the stuffed sloth that had somehow ended up against his shoe. Picking it up, he frowned at the sloth that was barely the size of his one hand. Just then his nose wrinkled at the scent that permeated from the stuffed toy—milk that seemed to have been churned up in the stomach and spat back out. Nose still wrinkled, he quickly adjusted his grip so that it was only his finger and thumb that pinched the ear of the sloth.
A quiet cooing sound quickly stole his attention away and to the side where a baby in a cart stared curiously at him. She was dressed in a hideous tuft of pink that nearly swallowed her whole with two chubby little feet poking out from beneath.
Kakashi glimpsed at the woman who was still berating whoever the poor soul was on the other end of the phone. Her back was turned, and she'd taken too many steps away from the child in her cart to notice Kakashi approaching the babe.
Sure enough, she smelled like milk and baby wipes. But there was also another softer, more subtle sweet scent beneath. Not quite aromatic like perfume, but it clung to her gently as if someone's perfume might've rubbed off on her rosy, chubby cheeks after one too many kisses or cuddles. Or maybe she'd just gone rolling down a hill of flowers—cherry blossoms, it smelled like—for all he knew. He didn't know what babies did in their free time besides piss, poop, and play anyway.
"Here," Kakashi muttered quietly, dumping the sloth in the cloud of pink tulle that was the baby's skirt.
Large spring green eyes blinked up at him as if she was asking, 'what the fuck is this doing on my lap?'
He shrugged and stepped away to return his attention to the shelf of diapers. But no sooner did he pick up a pack when he felt another nudge against his left shoe again. He glanced down at the sloth smiling up at him from its position by his shoe, and then he glanced over to the baby in the cart.
She was staring almost expectantly at him as if to say, 'pick it up, dumbass'. Or maybe she was just curious why a boy was wearing a mask when nobody else was. Perhaps she thought he was a creature of the night come to nom on the fat rolls of her thighs and this was her way of testing him. Nah, babies were curious oddities but not too astute.
With a roll of his eyes, Kakashi bent down to retrieve the sloth whose smile seemed more derisive than friendly now. While the mother was still turned away and barking into the phone, he pressed the sloth toy more firmly, insistently to the baby's front.
There it was again, those big eyes staring up at him like saucers of green tea. Huh, now that he thought of it, he hadn't had a cup of tea in a while. Rin had given away the last pack to a younger kid who'd wasted it down the drain anyway. Shit, but he remembered the prices for green tea had risen too. Oh well.
Taking a step away from the baby, Kakashi was miffed when she suddenly threw down her sloth at his feet again before he'd even had the chance to look away from her. He frowned and glared over at the mother who couldn't be bothered to keep a better eye on her daughter who'd decided only a few months old wasn't too young to start acting like a bratty princess already. A bratty princess who was treating him like her dog that she was playing fetch with, he realized belatedly.
As if to assert her royal if infantile position, she looked up at him, spring green orbs glittering with pure mirth as a gummy smile broke out on her face. Kakashi raised a brow at her, none too impressed when a wave of drool spilled down petal-pink lips and painted her poor sloth's face in saliva so that it looked like it was crying for help now.
Sighing quietly, Kakashi shook his head and decided to make his retreat from the diaper aisle. This was a battle he could not win, and the baby only proved that with a gleeful 'mah!' as she waved her hands, gesticulating in a language he could not begin to comprehend beyond grabby, chubby hands reaching for him. The further he retreated down the aisle, the more she kicked up a fuss, kicking up her tiny feet too. Her mother peeked over a shoulder for a split-second but looked away when she saw her baby was fussing for no reason.
Just as Kakashi turned the corner, he caught a glimpse of the baby tossing her sloth back down to the floor like it was her means of summoning her new dog to play fetch with her at her beck and call. Yeah, well, that went against Kakashi's domineering nature and so he stuffed his hands to search for the literature section.
Much to his pleasure, the books were kept at the back of the store where he could read through them in private without a clerk judging him for not paying for the paperback service instead. Much to his disappointment, however, there was no Make-Out Paradise and the selection of books was few and far between, and not to mention somewhat outdated since all the covers were easily recognizable from the days that he'd spent poring through them. Despite the pitiful collection of paperbacks collecting dust in the hopes a perverted reader might spread open their covers and peruse their naughty tales, Kakashi's attention zeroed in on the single brand-new hardcover tempting him with the 10% off sticker. Even more tempting was the cover art of a high school girl wearing a blouse that was buttoned just enough to keep from flashing a nipple, her tennis skirt a plaid black and red color to imitate the style of a uniform a private school girl was mandated to wear. A private school girl who wore that sultry smile just as well as she wore the necktie hanging loosely around her shoulders and arranged to cover a pair of hardened nipples.
Cracking open the cover, Kakashi inhaled the scent of fresh paper and ink first before glimpsing the first string of words that sat beneath the chapter title. He breezed through the first page, mouth quirking up when he recognized the set up for a good fucking. By the third page, however, his small smile had disappeared once he realized the setup was just that: a setup. No fucking. It was even more disconcerting when he flipped through the pages more quickly and concluded that most of the story was just one agonizingly slow striptease that he had neither the time nor patience for. He could even already see the ending from a mile away just by the building premise riddled with clichés and tropes: the professor gets caught and blamed for his sordid affair while his seductive mastermind of a student twiddles her thumbs in a very plausible show of innocence that hid her conniving smile. Of course, the man who gives in to temptation must always be punished for it in the end. It was a theme Kakashi was consistently seeing in almost every book he read.
With a huff of disappointment, he returned the book to the shelf where it could sit with its siblings to collect its own film of dust.
Straying his eyes over to the magazine section, Kakashi hummed in contemplation as he eyed the cover of a girl drawing the shape of a heart over her exposed lower belly with both hands, a peeled banana angled to censor her pussy. He picked up that magazine, flipping over to the section of the sex tips, most of which he already knew and had already practiced several times with Sakae. But, just for good measure, he decided to review the part that advised him how to last long during sexual intercourse.
It was when he was in the middle of studying about technique over speed did the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly rose up at the same time the smell of tobacco and rotten garbage flooded his nose. Kakashi was about to gag but stopped himself when a man stepped into the aisle—into his peripheral view. There was nothing unusual about the guy as he was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt sporting a rock band that had broken up too long ago for Kakashi to even know who they were. What was unusual, however, was the baby hoisted against his hip. The monstrous pink tulle skirt was fluffed up to block her face, but he recognized that hideous dress that nearly swallowed her.
The stench of tobacco and garbage grew stronger as the man stepped closer, and it overpowered the delicate scent of baby milk. Despite having never been a parent before, and certainly not old enough to even have a child, Kakashi was still aware that it was never a good idea to smoke in the presence of a pregnant woman or newborn child. If Rin were with him right now, he had no doubt she would instantly spin on her heel to give the man a good tongue-lashing. And even though Rin wasn't with him right now, he could still feel her elbowing his ribs hard to get him to stop the man.
So with a sigh, he lowered the magazine from his face and sidled his eyes over just to check if the man had some sort of joint in his hand. Nope, nothing but the toy sloth. Kakashi flicked his eyes over to the baby who kept squirming in the man's arms, whining quietly as she swiveled her head left and right as if in search of something. Her toy? No...
Her mom.
Kakashi turned his cheek to glance at the back exit of the store that was reserved for employee use. Just as the man was about to sweep by him, Kakashi dropped the magazine right in his line of path and quickly moved to intercept. The man jerked to a stop, visibly disgruntled by a boy's ass blocking his path to the exit.
"Oh, what a cute baby you've got there," Kakashi drawled out, standing up to set the magazine of sex tips aside. The man paused at the sight of the boy giving him a crease-eyed smile that seemed friendly enough, but hesitation still flickered through his scowling face. Nonplussed, Kakashi tilted his head to the baby beginning to squirm. "What's her name?"
"Hana," the man grunted, moving to step around him.
Kakashi stepped with him, still effectively blocking his path and still smiling beneath his mask although the crinkle of his eyes had smoothened away to display the dead apathy in his gaze. "But that's not really her name, is it?"
The man's eyes widened by a fraction and he stepped back, dropping the sloth toy to reach for something at his back. But Kakashi's instincts were razor-sharp as well, honed by the many late-night street fights he'd often get into on nights when he had trouble sleeping. So before the man could pull out his gun, Kakashi had already pulled out his own pocketknife in a flash and sunk the blade all the way into the man's eyeball so that the hilt rested against the brow bone.
There was an audible 'squelch' that had the baby whimpering louder in distress while Kakashi impassively watched red dribble over the bottom lid of the stabbed eye. The blood started to trickle down a scraggly beard. The man let out a gasp, still staring in surprise at Kakashi as if he couldn't register the knife that'd been jammed into his head or the baby calmly taken from his stiff arms. He stumbled back, reaching up a shaky hand as if considering pulling the knife out even though that would mean taking his eye out with it. With one last gasp, he toppled onto the floor, his one good eye now staring listlessly at Kakashi's scuffed sneakers.
The blood started to pool out from his head rapidly now, spreading across the shiny epoxy flooring of the store. Before the blood could stain the sloth toy, Kakashi swooped down to pluck it off the floor. The baby had stopped her whimpering, looking on curiously as he pressed the toy to her chest.
"This is the last time I'm picking it up for you," Kakashi warned her. "I'm not your dog."
Instead of breaking into tears under his irritated gaze, however, she defiantly dropped her toy sloth (away from the pool of blood, thankfully) in favor of grabbing for Kakashi's face. Faster than he could react this time, she had yanked down his mask to paw and smack his mouth with hands that had probably been in her mouth too. Kakashi's nose wrinkled once more at the weird, somewhat sweet milky scent that he was only now figuring out was indeed saliva.
He jerked his face back in disgust, but that only served to give her a better view of his mouth. She paused, big jade orbs widening at his lips and she broke out into another gummy smile before leaning forth, mouth open like she planned to give him either a great big wet smooch or a great big gummy bite.
"Why not save that for your mom?" He frowned at the river of drool spilling down her chin.
"Agooo!" she squealed gleefully.
"Uh… bless you?"
No longer holding back a cringe, Kakashi held her further away, glancing down when his shoes felt slippery on the floor. He belatedly realized he was now standing in a puddle of blood. And among the sharp scent of copper and the gentle smell of milk, there was now a foul odor that stung his nose and this time Kakashi did gag. The baby giggled aloud, prompting him to glare at her. She only responded with another fart and then a giggle. Kakashi rolled his eyes, adjusting her onto his hip so that he could pull his mask back over his nose even though it wouldn't help much.
"SAKURA!" A woman's voice screamed out—the same woman who'd been too busy arguing on the phone earlier to notice her baby playing fetch with a boy shortly before getting kidnapped by a man.
The woman rushed over in a panic, face flustered with tears and fear. She wrested her baby from Kakashi's arms, glaring murderously at him like he was the culprit and not the dead man on the floor. Well, dead men couldn't tell any tales, so it fell upon Kakashi's shoulders to explain what happened. Maybe it was better to start from the beginning instead of jumping right into the scene where he stabbed the guy's eye out on a hunch. Now the woman was hysterical, crying over her baby's safety and the horror of a dead man on the floor. The woman was still eyeing him warily as the clerk came around to see what all the screaming and blubbering was about. Then he, too, screamed at the dead body on the floor. Which had then resulted in Kakashi retelling his story from the beginning again, this time including how the little babe still farting in her mother's arms had attempted to make Kakashi her toy dog to play fetch with.
The mother hadn't taken too kindly to that part, of course, even though it was the truth and she had demanded him to tell the story all the way from the beginning.
And then the cops had come and now Kakashi was getting really tired of retelling the same story all over again. At this rate, Rin would give him an earful when he got home if Mrs. Matsuda hadn't already blown out his eardrums by then. Of course, it was only until the officers had gotten his statement did they go bother to check the camera footage. And it was only until every microsecond was picked apart and the man was confirmed to have a gun on him did the officers decide to let Kakashi go. If Kakashi had to be honest, he'd thought the police would let him go once he'd mentioned the name 'Sakumo Hatake' to them. Alas, they were too bewildered by the fact that a teenage boy was able to take down a kidnapper with multiple felonies in the blink of an eye. So the fact that said teenage boy was the son of Sakumo Hatake was more or less glazed over.
When the reporters had finally come, it was just a motley crew of young journalists that looked like they were more interested in ordering some burgers than reporting a mere kidnapping attempt. Kakashi couldn't blame them. A burger and a milkshake sounds good, he thought to himself, too absentminded when the baby was shoved back into his arms again, this time by her mother who now seemed to have flipped a switch and was giving him—or rather the reporters taking pictures of them—a saccharine smile instead of the accusing scowl from earlier.
One of the reporters had the gall to say, 'smile!' when Kakashi had been forced to pose for a picture, holding the baby against his hip and against his will. Even beneath his mask, it was hard to attempt a smile when she kept making grabby hands at his face. Tufts of pale pink hair tickled his cheek when the mother managed to wrangle her cooing daughter to hold still for just one photo.
"She needs her diapers changed," Kakashi sniffed, all too happy to give the baby back before she really did start treating him like a toy dog to yank around with her.
When the journalists trailed after him in an attempt for an interview, they at least had the common sense to realize their efforts were futile as Kakashi easily sniped them down with curt, one-word answers. Although he'd found it amusing to see them tripping over the cords of their microphones, he was ecstatic (inwardly) when the crew had finally given up and left, having not much else to report but maybe a two-hundred-word essay at most.
Good. He didn't need Mrs. Matsuda blowing up in his face the moment he stepped back inside the orphanage. Not when she was already a ticking time bomb ready to explode over his tardiness and other riff-raff nonsense. She already had disdain for his recalcitrant behavior, and he was sure she was keeping a list of all his shameless shenanigans.
Which was why he hurriedly dumped his box of condoms, the diapers, and the pack of bubblegum on the counter. The clerk, still quietly bemoaning his inevitable duty to clean up the blood at the other side of the store, flinched when Kakashi slapped a ryo bill in front of him.
Only a few years older, the clerk eyed the condoms warily before shifting his attention to the boy who'd just killed a guy like he'd only been playing pin the tail on the donkey—or eye, in this case. "Uh… how old are you?"
"Fourteen."
"You're pretty young."
"There's no age minimum to purchase condoms."
"Yeah, but I mean… aren't you a lil' too young to be..." The clerk trailed off unsurely.
"Fucking?" Kakashi finished for him, deadpan. "Or did you mean killing?"
It was a sincere question. He really didn't know if the clerk was raising his brow because of the condoms between them or because of the pool of blood further away. Or maybe his apathetic attitude to it all exacerbated the awkward atmosphere that reeked faintly of blood still.
There was also the option to just brag to the guy that he was old enough to already have a college degree under his belt and would have his Masters by fifteen years old. After all, prodigies like Kakashi didn't need to follow the guidelines of how to grow up like a normal child. He was far from normal, and they both knew it after what had just transpired today. But Kakashi found it more amusing to see the guy shiver visibly in distraught of how fucked up in the head this kid in front of him had to be to walk away from a crime scene like it was a walk through the park.
"Give me a pack of Spinel," Kakashi nodded to the cigarettes behind the counter.
The clerk hesitated once again. Clearly, fourteen years old was not quite old enough to buy cancer sticks like they were lollipops. But considering what this kid had just done to a full-grown man earlier and without so much as a blink of an eye... Smoking a cigarette seemed to be harmless when compared to killing a man.
With his condoms, diapers, bubblegum, and Spinel cigarettes now packed in a plastic bag, Kakashi crinkled his eyes at the clerk who shivered again when he realized it was the same expression he had just before killing a man. Unperturbed, Kakashi made his way out of the store, but not without suggesting aloud that they restock the literary section for the poor, depraved souls in desperate need of a raunchy book to soothe the ache of their groins.
On his way back to the orphanage, Kakashi stopped by the corner for a quick smoke. He counted his puffs carefully. Mrs. Matsuda had given up warning him of the addiction to nicotine he would develop sooner or later, but she underestimated him. The shrewd woman liked to believe that she knew him like the back of her hand just because he'd been under her wing for a couple of years already. Little did she know that underneath all that 'recalcitrant behavior that brought shame to his father', Kakashi was in complete control of himself. It was almost neurotic for him to fine-tune his body like an instrument—or a weapon—and constantly stay on high alert for any sign of danger. Like a master of his own puppet, he pulled the strings on every single muscle and breath he owned.
He was in control of himself, and he made a promise that no urge would ever control him. If he wanted to smoke a stick, that was fine. But he wouldn't let the cravings get out of hand. Because it hurt too much to want something so badly that it destroyed you, and Kakashi Hatake was all too aware of what that was like. He'd been craving the impossible since he was a five-year-old kid who'd discovered his father's gutted body one stormy night. And though the cravings never really stop, what mattered was that he was in control of himself.
Even so, he finished his last puff and dropped the stick to snuff it out with a quick grind of his heel. The sun was hanging low, signaling that it was almost time for dinner and Kakashi knew that his tardiness would only add more fuel to Mrs. Matsuda's already raging fire. He could already smell the smoke of danger—or maybe that was just the smoke of his cigarette clinging to him. Still, he couldn't afford to listen to her bitch for an extra hour when he had another appointment to get ready for tonight.
And it was after dinner that he readied himself for that appointment by sneaking out onto the back porch to enjoy the fresh air as well as the bottle of vodka he'd swiped after picking the lock of the alcohol cabinet. The vodka ran down his throat like fire and settled warm in his stomach. He sighed, leaning back to watch a plane fly overhead. The backyard was filled with fireflies at this time of night, the bugs eager to get some fresh, cool air after a balmy day under the sun.
"Someone made the local newspaper today."
Kakashi glanced up as Rin lowered herself down to take a seat beside him. "Front-page?"
"Last," she replied, presenting him with the page of his deed—minus the word 'heroic' though. At the bottom of the page was a photo of him holding the baby, the both of them painted in shades of black ink and icky grey but neither of them even looking at the camera. Kakashi was in the middle of thinking how much the baby's cheeks look a lot like a chipmunk's when Rin sighed beside him. "They say you killed a man, Kakashi."
He raised his eyes to her. Her face was marred by a disapproving frown while his was as smooth and blank as a canvas.
"Yeah... And?"
Rin's frown deepened. "And... you don't seem to care," she said, her gaze heavy with woe instead of bright with fear.
"I don't care that I killed a man that was going to do god-knows-what to that baby?" He couldn't help but get a little defensive. What did she want him to do? Cry and mourn the loss of a man who contributed nothing to society and was more of a fungal infection that needed to be taken care of? Sure, a life was a life and Kakashi had no intention to play god and decide who lives and who dies. But in a situation like that, there was no choice but to decide who lives and who dies—and hadn't he made the correct judgment in killing the guilty to save the innocent?
Every soldier out on the battlefield was doing that right now. Killing people to save people. It was a necessary evil for the greater good, but maybe Rin didn't understand that quite yet. She was still young and naïve in the sense that she was a proponent for idealism rather than realism. She still had yet to take off her rose-tinted glasses and see the world for what it really was and not for what she wanted it to be. And right now, she was squinting through those glasses to scrutinize him.
He didn't know what she saw, but he knew she didn't like it.
"You know what I mean," she sighed, looking at him the same way she'd looked upon that crippled, old pug in the alley. Broken, and waiting for death.
Just like his father.
"Don't look at me like that, Rin," Kakashi muttered darkly. He looked away from her, taking a sharp swig of vodka straight from the bottle.
She clicked her tongue but grabbed the drink to take a sip, wincing from the burn before tapping a finger on the photo from the newspaper. "You know, it almost looks like this is your baby," she said with a teasing smile. "You almost look adorable as a teen daddy."
"Very funny," Kakashi said with a roll of his eyes although he was grateful for the change in subject. "You know I'm never having children, right? They're fussy and needy and I dare even say abusive. This one pulled my mask down and saw my face while I was helpless to do anything about it. She practically tried to assault her own savior!"
"What?! Why, out of all the people in this world, it's a baby who gets to see your face first?!" Now Rin was pouting with him, but a smile was threatening to twitch awake again. "So not fair. I wiped your puke the first time you got blackout drunk and you still wouldn't let me see!"
"I'll show you one day."
But first, he hoped she'd forget about it.
"At this rate, I'll be dead by the time you do show me."
"I promise to show you," he said, taking absolute care not to pinky promise because, according to Rin, those were unbreakable even for him. He dug into his pocket for the pack of strawberry bubblegum and tossed it to her.
"You remembered the flavor I asked for?" She looked pleased.
"I do have perfect memory."
"Only when you care to remember things."
He raised a shoulder into a shrug like he could care less. "Go brush your teeth and make sure to clean your tongue like I taught you. I can smell the garlic chips you snuck in."
Rin sniffed and curled her lip in distaste. "And I can smell the nicotine on you."
"That's from Asuma."
"Nuh-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
She rolled her eyes back at him but stood up, brushing the invisible dust off her skirt. "What about you? If Mrs. Matsuda catches you here—and with her stolen vodka..." she had her brow raised at the way Kakashi had grabbed the bottle to hug it to himself. Then her brow dipped into a frown and she followed his gaze to the shadows of the backyard. Her face scrunched up in disgust. "Wait, are you going to be making out with Sakae again?"
"Of course not," he snorted. "I'm way past first base already."
And second, and third, and now he was on the last stretch of his home run.
"You say you'll never have children but you sure like practicing making them," Rin said dryly.
Kakashi shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a healthy growing boy with healthy hobbies."
That earned him a sharp kick in the ribs from Rin but he hardly winced. "Remind me to not buy you the next installment of the Make-Out series when it comes out next year."
Ouch. She knew where to hit him where it really hurt.
Hearing her leave to get ready for bed, Kakashi sat straighter, knocking the bottle back for another swig of vodka. He had a better tolerance than last year, and at 5 feet and 5 inches, he already had a solid build shaping up even if his bones still ached and his voice still broke. But he'd already become a man at five years old, growing up in the hard blink of an eye. The painful whiplash of his childhood ending so abruptly had already faded away, but he still found his thoughts straying to his father even on a night like this.
Glimpsing the photo of himself and that baby, Kakashi couldn't help but replace the image with him in his father's arms instead. He blinked once, and he was back to staring at his deadpanned face in sharp contrast to the giggling, gurgling baby he'd been forced to carry for the photo-op.
Heaving a sigh, Kakashi scrubbed a hand down his face before reaching for the newspaper to tear off that page. He folded the sides, making sure the edges were crisp and aligned before throwing the makeshift plane out into the garden. It caught a warm breeze and rode on the tails of the wind, rising higher into the night sky. Kakashi watched on, his memory of today's events already miles away like the paper plane would soon be; soon to be forgotten completely by the end of the night. And as the paper plane raced over the neighborhood, Kakashi's thoughts were now racing towards the future, particularly tonight during which he'd get to weigh Sakae's generous breasts in his hands again.
They're definitely just as soft and heavy as I remember, Kakashi thought at the back of his mind an hour later. But he'd also just as soon forgotten those plush breasts once he found himself inside of Sakae, fucking her in the shadows of the backyard with the rest of the orphanage (save for Rin) none the wiser. He'd impressed her when he managed to roll the condom on without a problem, and he'd been impressed when she guided him down on the bench to ride him. Then they'd both been impressed when, in a sudden turn of events, Kakashi had ended up bending her over and fucking her from behind. Her hands gripped the bench so hard that her knuckles bled white and his hands gripped her hips hard enough to bruise.
When it was all done and nothing left to be said, Kakashi honestly didn't feel any different from before. Even when Sakae had blushed and stuttered through her words to tell him to take her out on a date, he felt no inclination to return the romantic sentiment. Of course, he'd still proposed to take her to the movies next week, and she'd proposed to give him a handjob if they stayed for the credits. But beyond the primitive nature that drove Kakashi to accept the sex, there was no tug at his heart the way Sakae's had been.
He liked her as much as he liked her big breasts, and he liked the sex just as much as any healthy, hormonal boy would at his age. But his loss of virginity tonight had changed virtually nothing inside him. Sakae didn't seem to notice at all though when she'd peck a goodnight kiss on his cheek, and Kakashi had given her that same crease-eyed smile he'd given to the clerk and the man he'd killed.
After checking that Rin was tucked in bed and asleep, he made his way to the boy's bathroom. There probably would've been a celebration of sorts among his male peers had they known that Kakashi lost his virginity and got to cum inside a girl—four years older than him at that—all in one night. But at the tender age of fourteen and a genius in his own right, the only one he could celebrate with was the old, crippled pug across the school. He was the only one of his peers who'd had sex with a girl, killed a man, and found his father's own corpse, so of course there wasn't really anyone he could talk to except for the pug who was already too tired laying on Death's doors to care about the fucked-up adventures of a fucked-up boy.
And when Kakashi started to strip off his clothes to shower off the smell of sex, it was then that he realized the bit of blood from the store had stained the edges of his sleeve, the red nearly blending into the black fabric. He didn't care for the copper scent, but he did frown at the light smell of thrown-up milk and cherry blossoms. But of course the baby had drooled on his shirt. He was probably lucky enough that she hadn't puked milk all over him too.
"Never gonna have children," Kakashi groused to himself, and then he stepped into the shower to rinse away the last evidence of today's events.
3 years later...
As baffling as it was, Kakashi was still not old enough to drink alcohol. Not legally, at least. He'd always thought it was ridiculously unfair that the government deemed a seventeen-year-old too young to consume any liquor, but they'd thought it made complete sense to ship the same seventeen-year-old out into the burning plains of war to kill or get killed.
And if Kakashi was going to die the next week, then he'd be damned if he didn't get even a little bit tipsy tonight. Which was why he'd enlisted the help of Sakae who, having just turned 21, had managed to score them some whiskey. Although the bottle was wrapped in a brown paper bag, Kakashi could tell it was already half-empty just by the way it swished aloud every time he tilted it to his lips. There was a light buzz in his head now, a bit of heat creeping to his cheeks too but, other than that, he felt no different.
He did feel something in his groin though when Sakae pried the bottle from his grip and whispered that there was a motel nearby that they could rest at. His brain wasn't as sharp as it was an hour ago, but that didn't mean it wasn't sharp at all anymore. He knew exactly what she meant, and so he allowed her to tug him along towards said motel.
They'd hardly burst through the door when Kakashi slammed Sakae against the wall before slamming his mouth down on hers. Her fingers started to scratch at the edge of his mask but he batted her hands away, pinning them above her head. A protest started to build in her lips—she'd always wanted to pull down the mask and see the mouth she was kissing—but Kakashi silenced her with another hard kiss she was all too eager to reciprocate. Whatever protest she might've still had immediately died when he yanked her panties down, and their kisses soon devolved into hungry nips and bites.
Sakae was the kind of woman who loved a strong man she could tame with a single crook of her finger. And over the years since she'd been the one to claim his virginity, it'd become a bit of a game for them to see who could dominate the other. Of course, it was Sakae who'd started the game first when she insisted on topping him every time their clothes ended up on the floor. But, ironically enough, the game always ended with Kakashi on top of her. It was in his nature to wrest control by flipping them around, his eyes wide open to watch her breasts bounce from his thrusts even though she preferred his eyes on her face.
With peachy, wavy locks and doe brown eyes, she had a pretty face too. Well, more beautiful than pretty, and that beauty had only continued to blossom as she grew into her womanly curves and figured how to wrap a man around her finger with one tilt of her full lips. And as someone who had an eye for all things beautiful and curvy, of course Kakashi couldn't help but appreciate a woman like her.
What he didn't appreciate was her attempts to tame him like a dog she wanted to command. It'd been like this for the past three years, but as they grew older, Sakae had become insistent on owning his heart as much as she thought she owned his body. But Kakashi was a lone wolf, and he preferred no strings attached no matter how great the sex was.
So when she told him to take her to the expensive ramen restaurant she'd seen him take Rin to on her sweet sixteenth birthday, Kakashi took a long drag of his cigarette first. Laying at her side of the bed on her belly, Sakae watched him like a predator waiting for the other predator to make the first move, her cheeks still flushed from the glow of her orgasm. When he took too long in tapping his cigarette over the ashtray beside him, she laid a possessive hand over the hard planes of his stomach, fingers dancing just below his belly button.
"No," Kakashi merely replied before tucking the cigarette back into his mouth.
Sakae pouted at him. "But you took Rin to Ichiraku Ramen."
"It was her birthday."
"You never took me on my birthdays."
"You're not Rin."
Apparently, hearing another girl's name after they'd just fucked each other senseless tended to dampen the mood between them, but Kakashi didn't care. He and Sakae were friends for sure, but they were more of just friends with benefits. Sakae, on the other hand, had somehow come to this idea that she was not just his friend but his girlfriend, and she despised the thought that the heir to the Hatake legacy preferred to shower another girl with his attention over her.
"You have to get reservations for Ichiraku weeks ahead anyway," Kakashi added just to appease her.
Sakae seemed to accept that albeit grudgingly.
As she continued to stew in silence beside him, Kakashi was already thinking of the military uniform that he'd laid out on his bed this morning. The splotches of green, grey, and black that made up the issued camouflage reminded him of the swampy grasslands he'd be dropping into next week. Mrs. Matsuda had insisted on throwing a farewell feast this weekend since he'd be shipping out first thing Monday morning, but Kakashi thought it would be a waste of food. Besides, did she think he was never returning? Well, she did have good cause to believe that. The frontlines had gotten so bad that neither Fire country nor Mist country had gained an inch of land against the other for the past three months. Although Fire country boasted cutting-edge technology their money could buy, Mist country outgunned them just by the skills of their soldiers.
So it was decided that seventeen-year-old prodigies like Kakashi could be shipped right into the fray even though he'd barely graduated from the academy just last week. The fact that 18 was the minimum age requirement to get shipped out into war did not slip past Kakashi either, but it had conveniently slipped past the government officials who'd issued the order to ship him out anyway. Being a prodigy came with its privileges, for better or worse. As a reminder, his issued dog tags glinted silver under the moonlight streaking down on his naked body and he absentmindedly stroked a finger over his engraved name.
Noticing this, Sakae sat up, a coy smile curling on her lips. "Do you have another condom?"
"No." Not that he was in the mood for another round anyway.
But his answer only seemed to encourage Sakae and she proceeded to straddle his hips, her hands rubbing all over his chest as if she was trying to coax him. "You know, you might die next week."
"So?" He shrugged, setting aside his cigarette to nudge Sakae off him. She didn't move.
"So?" she laughed, incredulous of his aloof reaction. "You're the last Hatake. Don't you want to leave a legacy behind?" She grasped his dog tags in her hand, pulling gently on the chain so that it went taut against his neck like it was his collar.
A legacy?
Kakashi frowned at that, not quite getting what she meant but maybe the whiskey was starting to catch up to him. "What legacy?" He was known as a prodigy for sure, but he had yet to score any Medals of Honor since he hadn't even had the chance to touch the battlefield yet.
"Oh, you know..." she purred, slowly taking his hand to press it to her belly. "A legacy that will last generations in the years to come." But as if her skin was fire, Kakashi jerked his hand away from her belly, prompting Sakae to giggle at him. "Oh, come on! All the other soldiers are doing it. Don't you want to fuck a baby into me before you go?" she asked, swirling her hips above him to rouse the cock between her legs. "Hm? Don't you want to be a baby daddy and leave an heir behind before you die?"
But just the thought of becoming a father nearly made Kakashi wretch out all the alcohol in him. He sat up so fast Sakae fell back, surprised by the disgust and even anger darkening his usually stoic gaze.
"I'm never going to become my father," he spat out as he tugged his pants back on.
He'd meant to say, 'I'm never going to become a father', but the former was accurate too. And he continued to chant the words in his mind as he trudged back to the orphanage. He was in control of himself—of his own fate, and he'd be damned before he'd knock any girl up with a child. It wasn't that Kakashi hated children (although neither did he share the same passion for them like Rin did), but his hatred for his father tainted any thought of becoming a father himself. And the more he thought of that man, the more the scowl set in Kakashi's face.
"Where did you go?" Rin asked sternly when she greeted him at the door. "Mrs. Matsuda said you were supposed to be on diaper duty for the Sasaki twins."
As if on cue, a pair of babies started to cry further down the hallway, setting Kakashi even more on edge. When he grit his teeth and scrubbed a hand down his face to wipe away the scowl, Rin's gaze softened with pity.
"It's okay, I'll do it," she offered. But she looked tired from a full day of training at the academy, and bags of exhaustion weighed heavy beneath her eyes.
Kakashi shook his head. "No, it's my job, and I have a quicker hand."
He may be a lazy guy who often procrastinated on his work, but he always got the job done and done right every time.
"Then you'll need this." Rin offered him a wooden clothespin.
His nose wrinkled but he took it. "That bad, huh?" He shuddered and let the clothespin pinch his nostrils close when Rin nodded seriously.
He hated diaper duty because of his keen sense of smell, and Mrs. Matsuda was well aware of that which was why she loved giving him the duty in the first place. But Kakashi, lazy as he might be when getting to work, was quick and efficient once he did get to work. And once the toddlers had fresh diapers on, Kakashi was free to retreat to the boy's dorms where his uniform awaited him.
He hadn't tried it on just because he didn't want to see himself in the mirror and know that he was the spitting image of the renowned Sakumo Hatake. His superiors in training had often complimented the rugged handsomeness that he'd inherited from his father. They would joke that he could get a girl pregnant just by looking at her. And throughout his years in the academy, more and more people— especially the alumni faculty—would comment on how much he took after his father, both in skill and appearance. A comment that Kakashi personally took as an insult but responded with a noncommittal hum.
And when he finally did put on the whole uniform—boots and helmet included—he was thankful that his superiors were already barking orders to hop on the transit, leaving him no time to dare look in the mirror of his locker.
Now in preparation for his first airborne assault, Kakashi sat shoulder to shoulder alongside his fellow soldiers, some of whom he'd graduated from the academy with. They were comrades—'brothers-in-arms' as many of the more seasoned veterans liked to insist, but Kakashi felt nothing except contempt from the gazes they all directed his way. So much for brothers-in-arms then.
He supposed they'd all quickly learned he was the son of Sakumo Hatake and were spurred by jealousy. Admittedly, their jealousy did have some foundation since many of the superior officers were biased towards Kakashi in the sense that they expected he was as great and skilled as his father. They favored and praised him like he was their top-secret weapon who would turn the tide of war. But that bias was a double-edged sword as it put pressure on him to live up to those expectations and even try to succeed his father. And that was how he'd ended up as the so-called genius of the academy who had earned his tags faster than anyone else. Just like his father before him, he'd graduated from the academy at seventeen years old instead of eighteen. And that was how this unit of soldiers ready to die in combat boasted 49 men and 1 'boy'—as they still called him.
But none of them knew that Kakashi hadn't been a boy since he was five years old and that he was more ready to die than any of them even though he was the youngest of them all.
As it was now, he watched the soldier across from him bang a fist on his radio so that the song wouldn't come out with static. The soldier failed, blaming the batteries rather than the fact that they were hundreds of meters up in the air, flying over and through the explosions that rocked the plane and jerked everyone around under their harnesses.
The stench of fear and panic choked the air as the plane continued to shake and rock, quiet 'boom's thundering in the distance as if they were flying through a storm. Yes, a storm of fire and death. The booming noise rose in volume with every passing second. Every thunderous beat sounded like a war drum reminding them of their impending doom and sending tremors through the plane.
Kakashi swept his eyes over all the other paratroopers sitting with him. Some had their sweaty faces tilted up to the ceiling, lips moving in a silent prayer for whatever god to spare them. Others—the fresh graduates thrown out of the doors of the academy and onto the field—whimpered quietly as they kissed photos of their loved ones.
Kakashi had no such photo save for the one of him and Rin when they'd first met at the orphanage at the age of four and five. He pulled that picture out from his breast pocket, glancing over his blank face to focus on Rin's shy smile as her four-year-old self hugged his arm, using his shoulder to hide slightly behind.
He tucked the picture away when the alarms of the plane blared, the lights flashing red. Everyone stood up in unison to haul their parachutes onto their backs and get into formation.
The door ramp slowly lowered, blasting in a mix of icy air and the heat of the explosions that filled the sky in bursts of fire. Even from the very back of the unit, Kakashi could smell the sharp funk of phosphorous that rode on the wind howling in their faces. The odor grew stronger with every step he took towards the yellow caution line that marked where to jump off, weaving in with the stench of fear.
"Scared?" The guy beside him asked. He was one of the fresh graduates, but Kakashi didn't recognize him.
"To die?" Kakashi shrugged but it could barely be seen under the weight of the parachute and his gear. "No, not really."
He was more terrified of ending up like his coward of a father. The thought of going out with a bang in the blazes of war was less of a nightmare and more of the dream goal. Besides, death did not discriminate and no matter what his fate would be, he knew every person in the world shared the same fate as well.
But at his side, the guy's breathing was shaky, prompting Kakashi to glance over and peer into dark eyes bright with determination but just as much fear. "You're going to survive this," he assured him.
"H-How do you know?"
He didn't know, but the guy didn't need to know that. So Kakashi told him the same thing he'd told Rin after beating up the man who'd tried to cop a feel of her during their first year at the orphanage. "Because I've got your back."
The guy blinked at him, the fear fading away even when they approached the yellow line and tugged down their goggles. Below, the clouds lit up in crackling shades of white, yellow, orange, and red, cloaking the layer of destruction roaring beneath it. "Hey, what's your name?" the guy shouted over the wind screaming in their ears.
"Kakashi! What's yours?!"
"Obito!" He grinned at him.
Perhaps it was the adrenaline pumping through his veins, or the surprisingly comforting thought that he maybe wouldn't have to die alone in the fields below, but Kakashi couldn't help but grin back. "Then I'll see you in hell, Obito!"
The captain made the signal and they pulled on their oxygen masks, the both of them sucking in one last crisp breath before running forth. The moment they leapt off the platform, they cracked their flares, spilling out blood-red smoke that trailed after them like a death shroud as they dove into the fiery pits of hell together.
A/N: So the first half of the story is the day when Kakashi and Sakura met for the first time, which of course they don't remember. It's also the day Kakashi kills someone for the first time and loses his virginity a few hours after. Sounds fucked up but sometimes I find things are more interesting that way (fictionally). The second half of the story is the day when he gets a taste of war for the first time and meets Obito. Did I surprise you there? This side story may feel a bit different in tone compared to the other chapters posted so far, but it is from Kakashi's perspective when he was a teenager, so I hope you enjoyed it!
I should also mention that I do read and appreciate all your reviews but I do not typically respond back just because I don't like the system here on this site. I will respond if you have a question to ask, but if you are leaving a review as a Guest then sadly there is no way for me to answer your question. So I will leave my socials here in case you would like to reach out to me (I promise I don't bite!):
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