The following morning Ron was already out of bed before Harry woke up. Seamus, Dean, and Neville were chatting as they dressed. Harry yawned and stretched, going over the night before in his head.
He was not sure why he suddenly felt so very possessive of his best friend. Or what else he was feeling. Why he wanted to touch him and…kiss him.
Good lord he had kissed him. Harry rubbed his eyes and felt a strange lurch in his stomach. KISSED Ron. A boy. His best friend. A best friend who was practically his brother. Kissed him, and asked him to be his. Harry wasn't even sure what that meant. The words had left his mouth, certainly. He just felt the need to know that Ron would always be there. To be there for him. To be where he needed him to be. Always.
Harry looked at Ron's empty bed. He swallowed. He had to find him. He didn't even know what Ron was thinking about any of this. Whatever 'this' was. He had looked scared. Not startled, or confused, but scared. Actually scared. He hadn't seemed embarrassed by the touching or…other things. He had simply accepted it.
Harry threw on his clothes and started down the stairs. He needed to see Ron. To talk to him. To know what he was thinking. As Harry walked through the castle toward the Great Hall he barely noticed anyone else. Then he heard a soft voice near him,
"Hi, Harry."
He whipped around and was face to face with Cho Chang.
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When he finally made it to the Great Hall and sat down next to Hermione and Ginny he felt confused. For a moment he forgot what he had even been doing.
"Um, what's up, Harry?" Hermione asked, concerned.
"I, er, I think I just asked Cho out," he replied, reaching for a mug of pumpkin juice.
"You're going out with Cho?" blurted a voice behind him. Harry turned around. Ron stood there, looking at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, Harry guessed he probably hadn't slept at all last night. There was an odd expression on his face, one of confusion and possibly…hurt.
"Well it's about time," Hermione said simply, she had no idea the silent words floating through the air around Harry and Ron. "You two kissed ages ago."
"What?" Harry said abruptly, startled.
"Well you kissed before the holiday," Hermione said slowly, eyeing him. Then she looked at Ron. "You look awful."
Ron moved toward the table, then just as suddenly turned and walked away.
"What's wrong with him?" Ginny wondered aloud. Then pressed on. "So, what are you and Cho going to do? Spend the day in Hogsmeade on Valentines Day?"
"I suppose," mumbled Harry. He did not want to talk about this. He wanted to follow Ron. To ask him what he was thinking. How he was feeling. He wanted to know why he hadn't slept. Why he was still drinking in private. As he fell silent, Hermione and Ginny quit questioning him about his future date with Cho.
Harry ate a piece of toast and left the table. His head was buzzing with hundreds of thoughts, and a tense feeling settled in his stomach. He headed toward the dungeons for Potions, his first class of the day. Among the Slytherins and Gryffindors, there was no sight of Ron. He ignored the jeers from Malfoy and his cronies and went to stand near Dean and Seamus, asking them if they'd seen Ron. They said no, and he sighed. Why was Ron avoiding him. After he had promised. He had said it. He had said 'I'm yours' and now he wasn't here.
Don't do this, Harry thought desperately, don't do this to me.
Through all of potions Hermione continuously stopped Harry from making mistakes. They both watched the door, and kept looking at each other, concerned.
"Is he ill?" Hermione whispered as she diced her dried newt tails, "He didn't look well. Maybe he's in the hospital wing."
"Maybe," Harry murmured. He stopped dicing his own tails, realizing his hands were shaking. Hermione noticed but didn't say anything. They spent the rest of Potions in silence. When it ended Harry muttered something he didn't remember and speed-walked toward the hospital wing, glancing in every direction for a glimpse of red hair. He did not see Ron anywhere. He also was not in the hospital wing, nor had Madame Pompfrey seen him.
Harry headed towards the Ancient Ruins classroom where Hermione was waiting for him right outside the door.
"Nowhere," he said, suddenly feeling incredibly agitated.
"Well, I'm sure he's alright. He looked tired, maybe he just went back to the dormitory to rest." She looked up and down the hall, then entered the classroom.
The day continued with no sight of Ron. The only thing that kept him from ditching class was that he didn't know what he was going to say when he found him. What he wanted to do was yell. He was angry at Ron for making him worry, and wonder. But he also wanted to explain. And then he wanted to hold him, and not let him go. Not let him hide again.
By the time dinner came around Harry's stomach felt like it was full of rocks. Hermione and Ginny also looked concerned. But just as Harry was saying,
"I'll go check the quidditch pitch, maybe-"
"Check for what?" asked two voices. The twins had joined the table.
"Ron's been missing all day," Ginny informed them, sounding annoyed.
"He's not missing," Fred garbled through a mouth full of potato, "He's been at Hagrid's. Saw him through the window during class. Hagrid won't say anything, just said Ron needed some space or something. Said he's upset but won't say why, just been letting him hide out there."
Without a word Harry got up and started walking out the door, just as Hagrid was walking in. Harry stopped dead and asked firmly,
"Is Ron still at your cabin?"
"Well-" Hagrid began.
Harry didn't let him finish. He continued walking. He didn't care if any teachers saw him, he just pressed on until he was all the way across the grounds and walking straight through Hagrid's front door, where he saw Ron sitting at the table resting his head on one hand.
"What?" He deadpanned without looking up.
"What do you mean 'what'?" Harry snapped.
"I mean," Ron said slowly but firmly, "What do you want?" he stood from the table then muttered, "Actually…no. I don't care." Then he headed toward the door, shoving right past Harry and out into the dark.
