. Carry On My Wayward Son .


"Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man.

Though my mind could think, I still was a mad man.

On a stormy sea of moving emotion –

Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean.

I set a course for winds of fortune,

But I hear the voices say:

~x~

Carry on my wayward son.

There'll be peace when you are done.

Lay your weary head to rest.

Don't you cry no more."

~ "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas


The first thing Lucy had done when she'd finally been able to drag herself to the bakery a few weeks after everything had happened had been to remove that bell. All it had taken was one ring – one moment in which she turned to stare and feel dread – for her to decide she'd not have it in her bakery anymore.

Gray had been the one to do it. One quiet request, and he'd had it down within the day, although he'd chipped some paint from the doorframe by accident in the process. She didn't mind; he'd gotten the bell down, and that was all she'd cared about.

Lucy wasn't an idiot. She knew that she'd worried plenty of people more than they let on. Particularly Gray, who'd been the one that had stayed with her the most throughout the last few weeks. Levy, too, was there when she could be, but something big had been found in the new museum pieces, and it had left her as busy as could be. Lucy didn't know what it was, but she knew Levy was excited – and upset about it.

When she knew her waking up in the middle of the night grew to be too much for Gray, knowing he didn't do as well as she did on lacking sleep, she'd switch to Sting's for a night or two, or Levy's. More and more, she'd been finding herself at Sting's though, finding herself comfortable with his and Rogue's company. Rogue was peaceful and quiet, reading or enjoying his time in silence while Sting worked in the evenings. Lucy was even able to doze when he was around. He seemed…solid, in a way, like a form of support that didn't need to be implemented.

Lucy scrubbed at some platters mindlessly with a rag, polishing what she knew didn't need it. A softly humming Mirajane simply left her to do what she wanted, taking care of the customer interactions and deterring them when they wanted to go up to Lucy and inquire about how she was doing. Lucy was immensely grateful for the intereference; she didn't think she'd be able to handle taking to any of them. Not today.

The dreams hadn't been as bad, despite her lacking sleep. The one in which she was crushed between powerful jaws had vanished, leaving her curious as to what Rogue had meant by listening to them. She'd spoken to him about it once, and he'd shrugged, suggesting that maybe she'd heard the message it had been trying to give her. She'd dubbed it a warning months in the making and scolded herself for not listening, although she couldn't imagine what the dream had in common with what had happened.

Lucy had decided to stop thinking about it, not eager to have such dreams again.

Not that the new ones were any better. She dreamed of the attack that had happened, of Natsu's blood staining her hands and knees. She couldn't handle that well either and had started simply avoiding sleep even more than before, which was easier said than done.

Lucy set aside the platter she'd just finished and let out a heavy sigh, setting her towel aside and rubbing her face. She was so, so tired, and she just…wanted it to be over. Wanted her dreams to end.

And she wanted to stop thinking so much about Natsu Dragneel.

She wasn't sure what had changed – why he seemed to dislike her so much. She knew it might have something to do with what had happened. She didn't know why Dimeria Yesta had hated her so much, or why she'd come after her, but she had come after Lucy and Natsu had been in the middle of it. It was her fault; no one could convince her otherwise.

She'd just not expected the response she'd gotten from Natsu about it.

Never had Lucy expected Natsu to react as he had when she'd come in the door. She knew it hadn't been entirely her. There was something that had set him off before, and Gajeel had been shockingly insistent on ensuring that she wasn't at fault – even going so far as showing up at Levy's to make sure she'd not left his house and thought otherwise.

But still.

Lucy would have never expected Natsu to spit such angry, cruel words at her. Never. He'd been the one person she'd trusted to never have to worry about, the one person who she could turn around and call on whenever she needed him and not be judged for it. She'd thought he'd help no matter what it was.

Yet…he'd completely shattered that illusion.

The way he'd looked at her had been more than enough. Even if he'd not spoken, she'd not soon forget the look on his face when he'd noticed her in the room, when he'd looked at her with such disgust and horror, as if he'd just found that she'd betrayed him in the worst way possible.

Yet despite everything, she was worried. He'd not been seen in a few days, she'd heard. Wendy had sent her a text asking and explaining that he'd disappeared the same day he'd been rude to her. He'd not been seen since, vanishing into thin air, and the poor girl was desperate to find him. Additionally, he'd not taken any of his medication with him, and Wendy found herself frantic that he'd get sick or hurt himself worse.

Lucy had been unable to do much to help; she'd offered to keep an eye out, possibly send Sting out like a hound to find him, and had even promised to inform everyone else who knew him to let her know if they saw him, but…what else could she do when Natsu wanted nothing to do with her?

Lucy shook such thoughts from her head and took a shaken breath, pressing her lips together. She'd be fine, she told herself. She always had been, no matter what life threw at her. When her mother had died, she'd survived. When her father had tried to push her into things she didn't like, she'd survived. When the dreams had first started, she'd survived.

She'd do just fine without Natsu Dragneel, even if she felt incredibly lonely without him.

"Lucy," a voice suddenly called, and Lucy turned when she realized it was Juvia. Juvia had ducked behind the counter, running her hands nervously through her blue hair. Lucy raised a hand in greeting, tipping her head, and Juvia stopped before her, offering a gentle smile. "Gray ran out, but will be back soon."

"Oh?" Lucy was surprised; he'd been nearly stalking her recently, ensuring that nothing bad happened. Not that anything would. Yes, she was exhausted, but she wasn't going to pass out at random. Well, at least she didn't think she would. She certainly hoped not. "What's he doing?"

Juvia opened her mouth, closed it, and then debated for a moment. Finally, she said, "Well, err, Natsu showed up and wanted to talk with him."

Lucy stared blankly at her for a few minutes. "He came in here–" she began to say, a little angry that he'd even consider coming to her bakery after what had happened.

"No, no," said Juvia hastily, "he just knocked on the glass and Gray went out to talk. Juvia thought it more interesting that Natsu wanted to talk with Gray of all people. They are rather…well, they don't get along."

"That's putting it lightly," muttered Lucy before frowning a little more. She wasn't just miserable about what Natsu had done, she realized now that she was being confronted with the possibility of seeing him. She was annoyed – angry. Regardless of whether or not she'd been at fault for what had happened…she'd been frantic with fear and worry over the last few weeks.

"Juvia's not sure he'll come in," said Juvia gently. "But Juvia thought you should know. Just in case."

"Thank you, Juvia," said Lucy with a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose with two fingers. She hesitated before asking reluctantly, cursing her own worried thoughts, "How'd he look?" She was angry with him; she shouldn't have been so anxious about how he was.

"Not well," admitted Juvia, shaking her head. She glanced over her shoulder with a quiet frown. "Juvia thinks that he should go and do a checkup in the hospital today, if he can be convinced."

Not what Lucy wanted to hear, but news nonetheless. "Okay. Thanks, Juvia." Juvia waved slightly and then left to go sit back down with her drinks and snacks, intending to wait for Natsu.

Effectively distracted and unable to focus back on what she'd been doing, Lucy leaned her hip on the counter and scrubbed her hands down her face, hoping that it would help to drive her exasperation away. Heavens above, she was frustrated with herself and Natsu. Mostly herself, because she was supposed to be able to control herself and her thoughts. Apparently, however, that wasn't the case.

Lucy forced herself to go back to work, putting the platters she'd been scrubbing away. Finished, she ducked around to go to the back office and do some paperwork-related things in the hopes that if Natsu did come in, she'd be able to avoid him. She didn't want to see him – didn't want to sit there and listen to him say such things again.

She kicked the door shut, and then dropped heavily into the swiveling office chair, slouching back into it. She was almost tempted to take a nap there, she thought, yawning, but didn't dare. She'd only end up dreaming and then the entire world would hear her when she woke up.

Lucy sat up and was reaching over to drag some paperwork out when there was a knock on the door and Mirajane peeked in. "Everything okay?"

"Yep," said Lucy with false cheer. "I'm just…you know, taking a break and doing some paperwork."

"Like paperwork is a break," Mirajane said, rolling her eyes. She smiled gently and said, "and you're lying. Natsu's just ducked in with Gray. Juvia said she warned you he was here."

"Don't tell him I'm back here, I don't want to talk to him," Lucy whined, and Mirajane's smile widened, although there was a saddened look that suddenly appeared in her eyes.

"I won't tell him, but I'm fairly certain he knows you're here. Knowing him, regardless of what he's been like lately, he won't leave until he gets his way." Mirajane smiled one last time and then left, closing the door behind her. Lucy pushed her hair from her face, grateful for Mirajane's agreeable behavior – and also cursing her for knowing things as well as she did, because she was entirely correct.

Natsu Dragneel was as stubborn as they came and would likely sit himself in the bakery until she came out if it came down to it.

Luckily, Lucy considered herself just as stubborn and fully intended to remain in her little office until he left.

Scowling to herself, Lucy went to work, skimming through paperwork and focusing on the words on each page with an intensity she'd never had when looking through it previously. When she got through it all much too quickly – which she considered shocking, considering the fact that half of it was in regards to the event in which her life had been turned upside down.

Filing it away to be finished up entirely via delivery the next day, Lucy rocked back in her seat and frowned at her desk. Someone had ensured that it was picked up at some point and Lucy blinked, realizing that one, she hadn't done it, and two, no one ever picked up her cluttered desk. A twist in her chest made her want to cry.

People were so worried, she realized, they were taking care of every little thing that might make her feel better.

She ran her fingers along her arms to try and shake off the sudden hitch in her breath, to try and keep from crying, and was effectively distracted when her office door opened. She spun her chair around, wary, and was relieved to find that it was just Gray.

"Hey, Lucy," he muttered, grimacing.

"Hi. What's up?" she responded, studying him closely. He looked like he needed a nap; her fault, of course, and something she was sincerely apologetic for. Maybe she'd stay at Sting's again, or go visit Levy's. Just…not alone, she wouldn't go home alone.

"I have to head out," said Gray with a heavy sigh, grimacing. "I need to go and do something. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes," said Lucy immediately, though she wasn't entirely sure herself. "Mira's here, and–"

"Lucy, Mira left like half an hour ago." Gray said it gently, as if he was worried it would alarm her, and Lucy blinked at him before rolling her eyes.

"Okay, so Yukino then." There was always at least one of the three at the bakery, and it wasn't Lisanna. Lisanna had left a few hours prior. And Yukino was trustworthy – she'd help keep Lucy safe from any prying customers and Natsu.

Gray still looked hesitant, as if he didn't really want to leave, and Lucy found herself sitting up straight and giving him a narrow-eyed glare. "Contrary to everyone's belief, Gray, I'm not gonna snap in half. I'm fine. Tired, but fine. When I close up, I'll go crash at Levy's or something."

"If you're sure," said Gray warily, startled by the sudden attitude. Normally, she was too tired to spark such a response. "I'll pick you up tomorrow and we'll go hang out if you're up for it."

"That sounds good. I'll text you later." Lucy softened a little. "And sorry. I know Natsu's out there and it's…put me on edge."

Gray studied her closely for a few moments before saying slowly, "He does want to talk to you. I'm not saying don't kick his ass, but I can see where he's coming from. Not an excuse, mind you. Don't let him make anything that's wrong an excuse. But he's got some other stuff going on that I doubt he'll want to talk about to even you."

"I know, I won't," she promised. Lucy flashed him a tired grin, truly grateful for the fact that he was a good friend of hers – even if she wondered what the hell was so off that Natsu would talk to Gray but not to her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Gray gave a small, half-wave, and then left. Lucy took a deep breath as she listened to the door clicks shut behind him and leaned back, considering what he'd said to her. She tapped her fingers on the desk, furrowing her brow. "What other stuff?" she muttered to herself, frustrated.

She wanted so badly to know, but…

It wasn't her business if he didn't think it was.

What was her business was the fact that Natsu was out there, waiting for her to come out and talk with him, and perfectly content to let her come at her own pace. He had to be aware that she knew he was there. He was smart, regardless of what Gajeel and a few others thought. There was a clever edge to his mind that no one else seemed to take notice of, and he was happy for it.

And she was thinking of Natsu Dragneel again, Lucy realized, scowling. She didn't want to, but she was.

Lucy glared at the door, hesitant. She actually did want to talk with him – to demand answers about why he'd been so harsh on her for no reason. But at the same time…talking with him might lead to similar responses, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

The decision, however, was made for her when a few minutes of staring later there was a simple pattern of knocks on the door that made her stomach flip in recognition. She knew those patterns – had listened to them before smiling when Natsu had walked in a few seconds later. It was a habit he'd somehow developed over the course of their friendship.

Lucy pressed her lips together, debating whether or not to answer. Finally, figuring she might as well just get this conversation over with, Lucy spun away from the door and dragged her paperwork over to her to give the impression that she was working as she called nervously, "Come in."

She stared hard at the completed piece of paperwork in her hand, not comprehending what she was staring at as the door opened and someone – Natsu, she knew – ducked in. Natsu cleared his throat after a moment, trying to catch her attention properly, but she ignored him.

She was angry, and hurt, and she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to keep from crying if she saw his face right now. Whether it would be simply miserable tears or angry frustration, Lucy couldn't really say at the moment. So, without turning around, she said simply, "What can I do for you, Natsu?" His name was odd in her mouth, tainted with bitterness in a way that it hadn't ever been – as if it had been covered with ash.

She heard him take a deep breath, the sound ragged and painful sounding, and she admittedly felt a flash of concern despite her irritation. There was definitely something wrong.

"I…" He faltered, his voice hoarse, as if he wasn't entirely sure of what he wanted to say. "I wanted to say sorry." She kept her back to him, refusing to look in his direction. "For what I said. I don't want you to not care or anything else like that, Luce." She flinched at the nickname, pressing her lips together. "I got…overwhelmed. S'not an excuse or anything. Just…Gajeel tried to get me to go through Igneel's stuff, and my side hurts, and it was just…just a really bad time."

Lucy took a long moment, slowly setting aside her paper. She kept her mouth shut, not sure what she wanted to say in response to everything. What the hell was she supposed to say to him after what had happened? She spared a brief look out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't see much like that, only a brief flicker of pink.

Natsu sighed heavily, though he didn't seem surprised by her refusal to respond. He fell quiet, thinking, and then added, "I told Gray, but I really thought you were dead."

That particular phrase dragged her around and she slowly turned to stare at him, exasperated and shocked. "You what?" she sputtered, furrowing her brow. "You thought I was dead? You were the one with the gunshot injury!"

He shrugged, and Lucy took in his appearance for the first time in weeks. He was gaunt, as if he'd not been eating like he should have, and there was a sickly look to his face. He was shaking, his hands trembling, and only upon looking at him did Lucy really notice that he pressed one hand tightly over his injury, barely seeming to care.

"Natsu–" she began uncertainly, but he continued speaking, onyx eyes wide and locked on her face.

"S'the dreams," he mumbled, and she frowned at the way his words seemed to slur together, even as she found herself not really believing his words. She didn't think Natsu even believed what he was saying. There was an uneasy flicker in his eyes, as if he knew something she didn't, and something in her churned.

Levy wore that look. Gray wore that look. Many of the people Lucy knew wore that look, and it was something she didn't understand.

"What dreams?" she said curtly, voice clipped and wary. "You didn't have any bad dreams."

"Yeah, I did," he muttered, "just not like you did. Not every night. Happened mostly while I was out, I guess. After what happened." He seemed to grow more confident about something, as if he'd sorted out something in his head about what he was saying. He met her gaze, and Lucy found that she couldn't look away.

Something had truly changed about Natsu Dragneel, she decided; she couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew there was something. She said nothing about it – even as she said quietly, frustrated, "You're lying to me, Natsu."

He furrowed his brow. "No–"

"Yes," she seethed, snapping him a sharp look. "You are. I know when you're lying, and you didn't dream anything while you were unconscious. If you're just going to lie about whatever's going on, get out. I'm not dealing with it."

Natsu scowled, looking frustrated. "You're not listening to me," he snapped right back.

"Why should I?" she challenged. "You don't want me to care about anything, right?" She glowered at him, furious, and Natsu gritted his teeth, glaring right back.

"That's not true." Natsu huffed, shifting his weight. "I told you I was sorry and didn't mean that." He rocked forward a bit, and then back, as if wavering on his feet. Lucy paused, considering whether or not she should continue her arguing attitude and simply just call an ambulance before he got much worse. She wasn't even sure he'd make a ride back to the hospital, if she was being perfectly honest. "I'm not a liar, Lucy."

"Then tell me why you're lying," she said firmly. "Because I like to think that I've gotten to know you fairly well over the past few months, and I know that you're lying about those dreams."

He made a weak gesture, opening his mouth and then closing it uncertainly. "I can't," he mumbled so quietly that Lucy arched a brow. "I can't," he said louder, this time a bit angrier. "Can't you just…you know, trust me on this?"

"I don't know," she said, the hurt from her last encounter with him sharp in her mind. "I really don't know if I can. You've never lied to me before." A true statement that made him wince, though he refused to say anything further. Finally, she gave up and simply leaned forward in her seat, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Fine. Fine. Don't tell me. Just…tell me why you've not been home in so long."

Natsu clenched his jaw and stood there, looking bothered by the idea of going home. After a moment, he said, "I can't."

"I can't," Lucy muttered, scowling, "I can't. Don't you have some other answer besides I can't?"
Natsu huffed again and averted his gaze when she met it, staring him down. Lucy narrowed her eyes, realizing that he couldn't look her in the eye. Her frustration with his ridiculous answers and behavior bubbled up further and she shot to her feet. "You know what," she seethed, shaking her head, "do what you want. I have work to do, and until you're ready to actually talk like a normal person and tell me what's going on, I'll be…well, where ever I'm staying for the night, since I'm not going to be at my old place."

She strode over, swiftly moving to duck around him. It threw Natsu off balance, but he snagged her arm before she could take a step further. "Lucy," he said sharply enough to catch her attention, forcing her to stop rather than allowing her to leave.

Rather than finding herself surprised by the motion, as she'd been expecting something similar, Lucy was more caught off guard by the fact that Natsu suddenly staggered, the motion throwing him off balance. He swore under his breath when he stumbled back a step, foot catching on the other, and nearly tumbled straight to the ground. Lucy grabbed his arm in turn to steady him, faltering at the way she heard him gasping for air.

Argument aside…he wasn't doing well.

At all.

"Natsu," she said quietly, uneasy, "seriously. Go home. Take your medication. Maybe go get a checkup."

"I'm fine," he snapped in return. Natsu yanked his arm away from her grasp, staggered again, and then managed to steady his balance. When he wasn't going to fall over, he rounded on her, onyx eyes narrowed. Lucy caught that knowing glint again, aware that it made her uncomfortable, and recognized some fear and agonizing grief resting there, too.

She took a deep breath, pushing her anger back. He was giving bad answers, but it didn't mean she couldn't try and give a good question. "Natsu," she said evenly, trying to be gentle with her tone even as she wanted to throttle him, "please just…tell me something. Something that isn't a lie, or 'I can't.' Just something."

He debated how to answer that. Finally, after a rather long moment of silence, he mumbled, "Your tea."

"…excuse me?" said Lucy, completely unprepared for that statement.

"Your tea," Natsu repeated, looking hard at anywhere but her face. "You can't just go for one sip. You always go for two or more."

"What…why…" Lucy trailed off, staring at him. What the hell did that mean?

And the weird rambling didn't end there.

"And when you're petting Happy." Something in his voice trembled at the cat's name, as if Happy was a long-lost friend rather than his pet cat. "You always scratch his ears, then his chin, then his back. It's the same pattern, every time. You always hide the fact that you're wealthy by doing weird things no one else does. You care a lot for the plants you have in your place and talk to them. You know exactly what every regular likes and always give them extras when they're having a bad day. When you're nervous, you bite your cheek and when you're annoyed but can't show it, you play with your hands."

"Natsu, where are you going with this?" She was a little unnerved, to be honest, that he knew her habits so well. Sure, they'd spent a lot of time together, but…still. It was weird to think that someone had noticed so many things she didn't even realize she was doing.

Finally, Natsu met her gaze head on. He held it and Lucy was unable to look away as he hesitantly took a step closer. "I care. If you care."

He sounded like he was speaking gibberish, with his semi-slurred words and mixed up method of talk, but Lucy understood what he was trying to say and found herself reluctantly relaxing. She was still upset with him, and she'd not be letting him off the hook entirely, but…

Even in this state, Natsu was trying hard to get his point across, even if he didn't seem to entirely believe it himself. Lucy was tired, too, of being angry and upset. It only made her feel worse in general.

So, she took a deep breath and let out in a rush. "I believe you. But I won't forget you're lying about something, and I'm not sure I'm ready to trust you entirely yet." He gave her a tired, crooked grin to show he didn't mind. "Can you please let me take you to the hospital now?"

He grin vanished and he set his jaw stubbornly. "No."

Rather than protesting as she normally would have, Lucy waved to the hand that was gently protecting the injury. "Can I at least take a look?" Her voice trembled a little at the idea; she'd not seen anything of the wound he'd received. She wasn't sure she wanted to, but she wanted to know if she'd need Gajeel to help her drag him to the hospital regardless of what he wanted.

Natsu eyed her suspiciously. "…okay," he agreed reluctantly. With slow movements, he lifted the hem of his shirt, and Lucy ducked her head to take a look, cringing delicately at the smell that came from it. It was a sweet, but sour odor that told her he really did need to go to the hospital to get looked at.

Her stomach twisted as she studied it. It could have been worse, she supposed. The scar would be shockingly large for a gunshot, although she'd heard that the bullet had been difficult to cut out, which might explain the size. It was tender looking and swollen – and so very clearly infected.

"Natsu," she said softly, sincerely concerned as he carefully lowered his shirt a moment later. "Please? Can you please go get it looked at? It looks terrible."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically, sliding his feet a little as if bracing himself. "And no."

"Why not?" she demanded in response, folding her arms and narrowing her eyes at him. She'd go to the grave fighting him on this matter, she decided then and there. "Why won't you go and get it looked at?"

Natsu worked his jaw and stared her down, trying to find a good reason that wouldn't make him sound ridiculous. The longer he took, the more exasperated Lucy became. Finally, Lucy said slowly, "Look, you can either go and get it looked at – and I'll take you, if you want, and I won't tell anyone else that doesn't know that you were here. Or I will call Gajeel and Sting, and they'll come and make you go, and it'll upset Wendy even more than she already is."

She knew she'd struck a nerve because he visibly flinched. Finally, he muttered, "Fine, I'll go. With you."

She relaxed, relieved. "Good. Thank you, Natsu. Come on," she sighed, brushing past him entirely, "I'll get you something to eat on the way…you don't look as if you've had anything to eat in a few days…"


The sound of soft snoring made Lucy want to roll her eyes as she ran her hands down her face, truly grateful for the never-ending patience of Levy McGarden, who stood beside her with a smile playing on her face. She'd not bothered to cover up her eyes even with Natsu there – not that it mattered with him unconscious and sprawled out fairly comfortably on the couch, half-drugged on medication.

"You really should," said Levy, turning her face in Lucy's general direction, "let Gajeel or Wendy know he's there. Gajeel's been running himself ragged trying to find him and Wendy's been a mess."

"I know, but I promised him I wouldn't," said Lucy with a heavy sigh.

"How about I tell Gajeel and make sure he doesn't show up and storm in the door?" suggested Levy. Her smile widened when she heard Lucy pause to honestly consider the option. "You don't break your promise and Natsu never needs to know."

"I feel like it's cheating…but sure. They need to know he's alright," sighed Lucy, throwing Levy a grateful look. Levy patted her arm and then confidently strode away to find her phone, which she would have left in one of two or three locations. Lucy turned her attention back on Natsu, worried.

He'd had an infection, which the hospital staff had cleaned out. The injury had been re-stitched, and Natsu had been given strict bed-rest instructions as well as a new set of prescribed medications to ensure he didn't get worse. Lucy was grateful that he already looked better, no matter how annoyed she was with him and his weird behavior.

She wandered over to the couch, peering down at him, and then sighed heavily, running her hand over his hair. It was limp and dull, unlike its normal wild due, and she stroked the strands comfortingly, remembering the conversation they'd had so long ago about how much she liked his hair. She missed the ease of that, she realized. The ease of their relationship and the peace of mind they'd both had despite occasional weird nightmares.

She missed her friend, her companion, her fellow dreamer.

She missed the Natsu she'd gotten to know – her Natsu.

A lump formed in her throat, and not for the first time, Lucy realized that she was so very tired.


Levy was awoken quite suddenly by the hysterical screaming that flooded the house. She jolted awake, bleary and confused, but quickly realized it was Lucy. Shoving herself out of bed and fumbling her way to the door, Levy slid from her room and quickly trotted down the hall to the guest bedroom. She was half-way there when she felt and heard the heavy footsteps on the wooden floors, suggesting that she'd even managed to wake Natsu from his heavily medicated stupor.

Levy was puzzled when she stepped into Lucy's room, hearing Natsu's familiar voice thundering Lucy's name as he went to work on waking her. Knowing Lucy was sometimes violent when waking up, Levy stuck close, ready to help where Natsu could fail with his healing injury.

It had been a while since she'd had a nightmare this bad. She'd fallen into a habit of waking up in tears, yes, dreaming of Natsu's incident and even just once a pleasant dream. It had been weeks since she'd woken up screaming like this though, and it worried Levy.

The screaming cut off as Natsu murmured something so quietly that Levy couldn't hear. It was replaced by heavy sobs, waves of misery radiating off of Lucy. Levy felt horrible, wishing she could take the memories filling Lucy's head – memories she didn't understand – and throw them away for her.

It took some time for the crying to die off. Levy simply stood there, offering her company and letting her face remain turned in the vague direction she thought they were in. Not for the first time in recent days, Levy wished she could see – could look Lucy over as she'd once done to ensure she was okay.

Finally, after what must have been an hour, Natsu said lowly, "She's asleep again."

Levy focused her attention on him, narrowing in on where he was with practiced ease. "Good. She needs the sleep. She's still avoiding it when she can, regardless of what we've been telling her." She edged forward, fingers seeking until she found what must have been Natsu. Gently, he moved her hand so that it rested on Lucy's head. Smiling faintly in gratitude, Levy began to stroke her sweaty hair. "I'm glad that you've come back around. I thought you'd gone on the run."

Natsu replied simply, "I'd never leave Lucy."

"Mm, from what I hear, you thought about it."

"No. I just…couldn't piece out what was real." Natsu exhaled loudly, shifting. Levy listened to the creak of the bed, guessing he'd either gotten up or had pulled Lucy closer to him. She decided on the latter when his voice wasn't any higher above her head. There was a hint of pain in his voice, too, as if his injury was beginning to bother him.

Levy turned her hand onto his shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. "I'm sorry that you've remembered, Natsu, I truly am. I've started to realize that I'm the only one who doesn't seem to mind, and I know it's painful for you." Natsu grunted. "And I'm sorry that Lucy doesn't. It makes things harder when they don't remember."

Natsu paused before saying, "That's right, Gajeel didn't remember for a while."

"Nope." She smiled sadly, remembering the difficulties that had come with it. "It was really difficult to separate him from the one I knew before. I think it's something that'll take you some time to figure out, too."

Natsu suddenly huffed, frustrated. "It's not that hard. She's not the first Lucy."

"She is and she isn't," said Levy simply. "Just as you're not the first Natsu." He made an irritable sound, disagreeing, and Levy shook her head. "No, Natsu, you're not the first one. Even now, there are some quirks that differ. It comes with the new life, with the different time and place – the lack of magic." She took a deep breath and then added something she'd told herself dozens of time over the span of her life thus far. "Perhaps we were someone else, once upon a time. Perhaps we even hold their memories in our heads. Maybe it means something that we've found one another now for some strange unknown reason, but it doesn't mean we are them. Those other people are just that; other people. We are ourselves, with memories of another life and memories of this life, too. Separate them, understand that, and it's easier."

Natsu could have responded badly to her blunt words, but surprised her instead by saying quietly, "I don't feel like a different person. I remember everything, but I feel like me."

"I'm sure it's different for everyone, but the general rule applies to all of us who remember." Levy patted his head fondly and then turned to leave, fully trusting Natsu with Lucy. "As well as to those who don't. Lucy is not the past Lucy, Natsu, and you're not allowed to hold it against her. Hold it against her, and I'm perfectly capable of tracking a few people down who would very willingly hold it against you."


And the angst has semi-chilled out! Don't think it's completely over just yet though! I have a lot of angst planned for them. And to all of those who were hoping Lucy wouldn't forgive him straight off the bat, don't worry. She's not going to forget the incident. ;)

nkukurichan, regarding Natsu's death...to put it simply, he didn't really die so to say. As in the manga, Lucy rewrote pieces of his book with Gray and it ended up erasing him entirely by accident. :) He simply disappeared.

Fairylove1501, regarding Erza...I've been thinking about her absence lately and will start bringing her in more! She does have a job (I need to go back and see if I wrote it out already or if I can decide on one) and she DOES come around Heartfilia Bakery often, I just don't write it for some reason.

Thanks to reviewers (LePengwen, itsxoi, Guest #1, nkukurichan, stranger1999, Lodemai04, Brooke0315, Meow Orbit, Indebted, Embers, Forbidden-Hanyou, FairyTailxFanGirl, PinkFireandGoldenStars, Guest #2, Bananarock509, and Fairylove1501!) as well as those who favorited and followed!