The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 16: Blood Moon Rises
A/N: So we all know how embarrassing it was for Sakura in the last chapter. This chapter here further explores her motives and reasoning behind her actions. Yes, more angst, mwuahaha!
Also, warning! More bestiality towards the end of this chapter because I'm a sucker for symbolism. It's a dream sequence, so feel free to skip it if it's not your thing.
Her confusion had evolved into a soul-sucking depression that hung above her like a raincloud as Sakura sat in her morning Orientation class. Downtrodden by Kakashi's flip in attitude towards her, she'd spent the entire night trying to distract herself by studying for Anatomy, reading several chapters ahead and taking notes until her hand cramped up. Now dark circles lined her eyes and she swallowed back her fifth yawn for the morning.
The boy in front of her was watching Netflix again, but it was a movie about a crazy girl seducing the new high school English teacher. She decided to keep her eyes trained on Professor Iruka's powerpoint instead, listening to him drone on and on about the counselors for each department.
When class finally ended, she heaved a sigh and hauled on the straps of her backpack.
"Miss Haruno, may I have a word with you?"
She glanced up at Professor Iruka who was smiling amiably behind his desk. Crap, had he noticed her yawning? But it wasn't as if she was the only student in his morning section who sat half-awake.
"I didn't get a chance to speak with you after that basketball game from the other week," he said as she cautiously approached his desk, "but I wanted to ask how your class with Kakashi is going?"
Sakura gripped the straps of her backpack tighter. How is it going? She wished the answer to that was just as simple. Well, Professor Hatake gave me a massage because I was cramping really bad, and now things are awkward between us and I'm crushing really hard on him but now I think our friendship—I mean relationship—is ruined for good.
"It's going well."
Professor Iruka squinted at her for a second before giving her a sympathetic smile. "Kakashi's giving you a hard time, isn't he?"
Actually, she would argue that she was the one giving him a hard time. And judging by his erection that day, quite literally. Feeling a blush rise, she hurried to answer. "Professor Hatake is strict but he's a teacher, so..."
A vague answer, but it was the truth. Besides, it was hard to divulge any details of her relationship with Kakashi without blushing. And a blush spoke more volumes than the vague answer she'd given him.
"I know that Kakashi can come off as a—well, to put it nicely—jerk sometimes," Professor Iruka said with a lamenting sigh, "but he always means well. Believe me when I say that he's the kind of guy you can trust with your life. He's also been through a hell of a lot, so... Well, all I'm saying is to give Kakashi a chance. Can you do that for me, Miss Haruno?"
To be honest, Sakura had never once thought of Kakashi as a jerk. Yes, he tended to give off an icy aura, was sometimes aloof beyond comprehension, and hadn't always been a gentleman every step of the way. But never had she thought he was a jerk. Still, judging by how Professor Iruka had worded it, it seemed 'jerk' was a euphemism for what others might've labeled the Anatomy professor. She wondered if those people had ever given Kakashi a chance at all... or perhaps Kakashi had been the one to never give them that chance in the first place.
Sakura nodded at Professor Iruka. "Sure I can."
That was what she had promised him, herself, and Kakashi. She would give Kakashi the chance to tear down those walls he'd put up, and wait for him to meet her halfway on this bridge they'd unknowingly built together. But the problem was that he had to give her a chance too.
On Wednesday, it was clear that he wanted the exact opposite of that. During lecture, he'd made sure to steer clear of her at every opportunity, and Sakura felt a sharp twinge in her chest whenever he picked Mei or someone else to answer his questions instead of her.
When she waited for Kakashi at their pavilion, she could feel the hot burn of tears building in her eyes with every minute that passed. He wasn't coming today either. That should've been fine because she would at least have the chance to talk with him after lab class. They didn't even need to confront what had happened with the massage; Sakura just wanted things to go back to normal between them. Then again, their normal had never been normal to begin with.
Teachers and students didn't touch each other like that let alone give each other massages, she knew that very well. But she'd been so caught up in the moment that she had forgotten Kakashi was still her teacher. While she'd grown used to calling him 'Professor Hatake', it was hard to see him as anything but the man who had saved her on that fateful night. It was hard to forget that they'd originally met as a drunk girl and her dark knight rather than as a student and her teacher. Her teacher who had proposed to massage her. It still had left Sakura puzzled as to why Kakashi had initiated the massage in the first place if it wasn't because he had wanted to touch her like that. She thought they'd had something special going on and that was why he'd offered that massage regardless of his position as a teacher. So why would he try to touch her like that only to pull away at the last second? Why was it even okay for him to touch her intimately but it wasn't okay for her to do the same? Well, okay, rubbing her belly versus rubbing his erection were two very different things—but still!
Countless questions raced through Sakura's mind and the one who held all the answers was the very person whom she shouldn't even be asking these kinds of questions!
Well, if Kakashi didn't want to talk about it, then that was fine (sort of). She understood now that if either one of them were to address the elephant in the room, then it would only lead to shooting the elephant dead. Because it was one thing to think their relationship was inappropriate, but saying it aloud made it a reality. It would force them—particularly Kakashi himself since he was the teacher here—to confront the issue between them and resolve it so that their relationship could be 'appropriate' again. It was the moral thing to do, but it wasn't what Sakura wanted. She didn't want him to 'fix' things between them if it meant acting like they were nothing more than teacher and student who were destined to part ways for the rest of their lives in a few months.
What she wanted was to tell him that she liked the massage because she liked him, and she wanted him to confess the same as well. If only it was simple as that. If only she could just tell him the messy truth of her feelings without having to worry about him rejecting her for good. Because regardless of the truth of Kakashi's own feelings, he would have no choice but to reject her anyway.
So there was no point in sorting things out if it only meant more complications. She just didn't want to go back to being strangers again. She most certainly didn't want him to put up walls to keep her out.
But he did it again when he asked Mei to stay after lab class and help him return the bone models to the supply room that was adjoined to the classroom from the back. It was obvious he'd done it to ensure he wouldn't end up alone with Sakura like last time, and it hurt.
Meanwhile, Mei was more than eager to spend some alone time with Konoha U's hottest bachelor. Her friends had oohed, nudged her playfully, and winked at her as she trotted over to 'Professor Hotake' at the crook of his finger.
She smirked at Sakura as she brushed by, and Sakura stared at the door to the supply room as it swung close. Barely a few seconds passed when the first giggle echoed from the small room. Just that sound alone was enough to provoke all sorts of images in her mind. Images of Mei rising on tiptoes to stroke back Kakashi's hair, or him shoving aside boxes of bone models to hoist Mei on the table and touch her knee... maybe give her a belly rub too... or rub the place between her legs.
Maybe Mei would tell him about that druggie, Goro, who had assaulted her sometime ago, and Kakashi would insist on giving her a ride to make sure she got home safely. Maybe he'd even walk into her apartment and assess any security concerns before advising her on safety tips. Maybe her pipes would leak, and they'd get wet from fixing it... and then end up naked together in her room with Mei getting ready to have his babies. And then afterward, Kakashi might pull out his Make-Out Paradise book and read to her his favorite sex scenes since she's eighteen and legal for him. Unlike Sakura whom he'd refused to even show the book's title to.
"Professor Hatake!" the girl giggled again from within the supply room.
Nausea roiled hot and acrid in her stomach, so Sakura spun on her heel to scurry out of the lab room. She clutched her textbook tight to keep the tears at bay, silently reciting the steps of the muscle contraction process. But no matter how many times she repeated to herself, 'a nerve impulse causes acetylcholine to release at a neuromuscular junction', she could never get beyond step one.
.
.
.
The volleyball slammed into her face, eliciting another groan from her teammates.
They were losing by eighteen points and, normally, Sakura would have been peeved by the landslide of points but it was technically her fault anyway. Having briefly joined the volleyball team back in high school after some time on the basketball team, she was a natural when it came to sports. Even without a ball in her hands, her athleticism was noted just by her toned legs and arms, and her trimmed waist. So it went without saying that she usually ended up as the ace card in her team, and on most days they were more than okay with letting her guide them to victory.
Not today.
Today, her classmates scowled and rolled their eyes every time their 'ace card' missed a shot or botched a serve. She didn't blame them. She was completely off her game today and she wanted to blame it on the exhaustion of her premenstrual syndrome, but she knew it was more than that. Sure, she had the typical symptoms of PMSing—fatigue, nausea, cramps, breast tenderness, poor concentration, depression, and anxiety. She had yet to have a crying spell, but she'd always managed to pull through before it came to that. So long as she suppressed everything and kept on smiling, she could pull through this too.
Or so Sakura believed.
By the time Professor Mizuki blew the whistle for the showers, her face was sore on both sides from the number of times the volleyball had hit her. She almost didn't want to go into the locker room and see if her cheeks looked as bad as they felt. On her way down to the locker room, however, Professor Mizuki pulled her aside to the threshold of his office.
"What's wrong?" he asked, brows pinched in concern.
Sakura blinked at him. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. You were completely off your game today," he said with a shake of his head. Her face fell at that, and she missed the way Professor Mizuki raised a hand to touch her face before he moved to grasp her shoulder instead. Feeling the weight of his hand, Sakura raised her face to meet his worried gaze. He clicked his tongue quietly at what he saw. "Your cheeks look a bit swollen. Let me get you an ice pack."
"Oh, I'm fine—"
"No, I insist."
He jerked his head towards the small space of his office and Sakura chewed her lip in hesitation before following after him, touching her cheek as she wondered if it was really that bad. After closing the door behind her, he directed her to the sole chair meant for him. She collapsed into the cushioned seat, the wheels rolling her back an inch as Professor Mizuki scavenged the small chest freezer behind her.
While waiting for him, Sakura's eyes strayed past the laptop on his desk and to the lone picture frame sitting just beneath the sill of the window. Professor Mizuki was hugging a woman from behind and pressing a kiss to her cheek as she gave the camera a small but ardent smile. Her long hair was braided back, the inky tail of it tangled between Professor Mizuki's fingers. Choppy bangs that reached down to her jaw framed her slender face, capturing her as the picture of warmth and love. Sakura had no doubt that the woman was his lover, or probably even his wife.
Well, it should serve as no surprise if a guy as good-looking and congenial as Professor Mizuki was already married. She could practically hear the sound of a dozen hearts breaking once the girls in class found out.
"Here you go." He handed Sakura the ice pack and she pressed it to the right side of her face as he sat against the edge of the desk in front of her. Hands leaning back on the polished surface, Professor Mizuki tilted his head to study her and the way she restlessly switched the ice pack between both cheeks. "Tell me what's wrong, Sakura."
She shook her head and mumbled, "I'm just not feeling well."
It's just my stupid hormones because I'm about to go on my stupid period, she almost wanted to say. But from her experience with boys like Naruto, Kiba, Choji, and even Shikamaru and Neji, guys tended to run away the moment they heard the words 'period' or 'menstruation', so she decided to keep her mouth shut.
"Hey." He leaned in close enough for her to catch the faint, spicy notes of his cologne and the musk of his sweat. "You don't have to act so tough around me. I know what it's like to be alone. I know what it's like to want someone to rely on," he nodded. "You can rely on me. Trust me."
Setting the ice pack aside, Sakura watched her hands fidget on her lap, silently debating if she could really trust him or not. She plucked at the hem of her spandex shorts stretched tight around her thighs as he waited patiently for a response.
"I... I'm just not feeling well," she whispered, feeling the tears burn at her eyes once again. But the ache that'd been percolating in her chest these past days was too much for her to bear anymore. Everything she'd tried to suppress came gushing out in a fresh wave of tears that spilled down her cheeks. "I really don't feel so good, Professor Mizuki," Sakura sobbed quietly. She wiped at her cheeks but the tears kept on pouring. "M-My stomach still hurts."
But that was only just the tip of the iceberg.
"Is it your cramps?" Professor Mizuki asked gently, leaning closer to her to keep his voice down. "Are you bleeding right now?"
Sakura couldn't help but blush hard at the question. It was personal for her, but perhaps an adult like Professor Mizuki thought nothing of it. "Um... I-I think so," she sniffed, grabbing the ice pack to cool the embarrassment burning in her cheeks.
Maybe she was spotting now, but she hadn't checked her panties since this morning.
With a slow nod, Professor Mizuki twisted around to reach for the electric kettle in the corner of his desk. There was a small 'click' followed by the noise of liquid sloshing into a cup. Then she heard the 'rip!' of a paper packet and he took a moment to mix in the cup whatever he'd opened. A metal spoon clanged against the cup several times before Mizuki ripped open a second packet and mixed that in too. When he turned back to Sakura, he held out a steaming mug.
"It's just chamomile tea with some sugar," he said when she set down her ice pack to take the mug. "This will help you relax."
Peering into the cup, she observed her reflection on the amber surface. The corners of her mouth were tilted down and reflecting her misery, so she took a long sip of the tea. She remembered her mom making a cup of this for her as a child whenever a night terror had her waking up in a fit.
'Here is your cup of flowers', Mama would say because she knew how to steep the tea just long enough that the chamomile tasted light and floral—a sweet panacea against the terrors that haunted little Sakura in her sleep.
Professor Mizuki smiled at Sakura as he watched her eagerly gulp down the hot notes of apple and honey-like sweetness. She sighed and relaxed in the chair as the tea settled warm in her belly.
"Do you want to talk to me about it? It's okay if you don't," he added quickly when her grip around the mug tightened. "You can just sit here and drink your tea if that's all you want to do."
Sakura hesitated. "I-I should go shower."
"You can take a shower later once you feel better. I can wait for you."
How generous of him. And that was exactly what she'd thought of Kakashi every time he offered to give her a ride home. So she frowned at her reflection in the tea, gripped by the notion that Professor Mizuki was the same as Kakashi—hot and cold whenever it was convenient for them.
"Why are you so nice to me, Professor Mizuki?"
The question seemed to have caught him off guard as he stared at her blankly for a moment. Then his lips tilted into a soft smile and he shrugged. "Is it a crime to be nice?"
Her frown deepened. "But you don't actually mean it, do you? I'm just someone you'll have to see for a few months until the semester is over. You're only nice to me because you need to be—just like I need to be nice to you. It's just courtesy and professionalism. But you'll turn your back on me once I become too much of a burden to you because I'm just..." She looked away and mumbled, "I'm just your student."
And that was all she would ever be to Kakashi. Just that girl who sat at the front of his class for his morning sections. Any niceties between them were for the sake of professionalism and respect—nothing more. It was stupid to ever think there could have been anything more anyway, and Sakura was pissed at herself for being such a fool, desperate for the affection of some guy who she thought might actually want her. And if she was so desperate to the point that she had hoped her own teacher would want her… wow.
She was absolutely pathetic.
Something touched her bare knee and Sakura peered down at the hand that enveloped her there. She followed that hand up a strong arm, and then met his eyes crinkling at her, the forest green of them so dark.
"I won't turn my back on you," Professor Mizuki murmured, "because I know exactly how that feels. Just like I know how it feels to be alone and desperate for someone to pay attention to you." Seeing her skepticism, his smile quirked down in sadness as he explained, "Ever since I was a baby, I was an orphan. So when I was your age, I didn't have any parents or adults to talk to or turn to for help. All I had were a couple of friends but it's different having someone who is the same age as you versus someone who is older and knows... better. Someone mature enough to be your rock when the going gets rough. So that's why I want to help you."
Feeling another tear threaten to spill out, Sakura tipped her face down to sip more of her tea.
He'd hit the nail on the head. It was one thing to have a friend like Ino, Hinata, or Tenten to sit down and listen to her air out all her grievances but, at the end of the day, they would never be able to understand the full weight of her misery. She didn't blame them. It wasn't their fault that they still had their parents around and even siblings or relatives to share their sentiments with. It wasn't their fault that Sakura had no mother or father around to sit down and talk with. Not even an aunt or uncle.
But Professor Mizuki had taken the words right out of her mouth as if he'd glimpsed her and seen her. As if he didn't see Sakura as just 'that student who gets good grades' or 'that child who raised herself' but as her. With all her insecurities and struggles hidden behind those perfect scores and bright smiles.
"Then you... you don't think it's inappropriate?" she asked in a whisper.
"To help a student in need?"
"Well, it's not like this kind of help is within your paygrade."
Professor Mizuki looked at her as if taken aback by her cynicism. "Yes, I'll admit, this scene may seem inappropriate, especially since you're probably not used to your teachers reaching their hand out to you outside of class. But even if I was breaking the rules, when was the last time the school rules actually helped a student in need? Have you ever been bullied, and you told your teachers about it but nothing really happened? Maybe the bully got a slap on the wrist and that's it?"
Sakura frowned as the question elicited the awful memories of her own bullies. Professor Mizuki was right; the school faculty had never actually done anything about the bullying except give a sigh of exasperation and a quick rebuke.
"So you see, regardless of what the rules may be, I don't want to be that kind of teacher who does nothing when my student is suffering," he said earnestly with a kind pat on her knee. "Whether you like it or not, I'm here for you, Sakura."
Admittedly, it was nice to hear an adult say such reassuring words to her—and not just say it but also mean it.
She smiled back at him over the rim of her mug. "Thank you, Professor Mizuki."
Satisfied to see her spirits raised, he nodded at her before perking up. "Here, I've got something for you," he raised a finger, hopping off the desk to crouch down in front of the drawers. Sakura continued to drink her tea as she watched him pull out a key to unlock the bottom drawer. As he was in the middle of rummaging through it, a knock at the door prompted him to shove the drawer shut. Running a hand through his icy blue locks, he glanced at the closed door. "Come in!"
The door cracked open slowly with a creak. A girl with chin-length lavender hair poked her head in and Sakura recognized her as Hanako. "Professor Mizuki? You said you wanted to see me after class?"
Sakura sat up straighter in the chair, suddenly feeling like she was intruding on something. It seemed Professor Mizuki already had an appointment with Hanako but had been forced to make time for Sakura as well, and now she felt bad for taking up his time. As she reached over to set the mug down on the desk, however, Professor Mizuki raised a hand in a gesture to stop her.
"Yes, that's right, I did! Sorry, Hanako!" he smiled wryly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just give me a moment longer with Sakura and then I'll be right with you, okay?"
Hanako's eyes flicked over to Sakura who smiled and waved at her, but the girl gazed back as if she was wondering why someone she'd never spoken to before was even acknowledging her. Okay, so they'd never shared any sort of conversation at all save for that time Sakura had run into her at the locker room and offered her a tampon after seeing the blood run down her legs, but still. That at least warranted a friendly wave, right?
Hanako looked away from her to smile at Professor Mizuki. "Okay, I'll be right outside then."
Once the latch of the door clicked back in place, Professor Mizuki tugged open the bottom drawer again. Just as Sakura finished draining the last dregs of her tea, he turned around to hold something out to her. It was small and cylindrical, matching the length of his finger, and Sakura almost choked on her last mouthful of tea when she recognized the vibrant blue plastic wrapping.
Seeing her face redden furiously, Professor Mizuki chuckled. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Sakura. Menstruation is a natural thing and I'd rather be upfront about it than let my students suffer in silence."
She instinctively pressed her thighs together in discomfort of discussing something usually restricted between girls only. "Um, I-I'm just surprised that you have a supply of... of tampons," Sakura stammered out, gingerly taking the tampon from him.
Not even her female P.E. teachers back in high school offered any hygiene products and would instead direct girls to the nurse's office if they needed some. But then she glanced back at the picture frame of him and the woman, and Sakura wondered if spending time with his lover had just taught him to get used to such feminine woes.
With Sakura still blushing and awkwardly gripping the tampon, Professor Mizuki gave her a nonchalant shrug. "I've been teaching for a few years now and I didn't think it was fair to you girls that you have to pay for period products when your period isn't something you can control. I may be a man," he said, reaching over to lay an assuring hand on her shoulder, "but I want to take care of my girls nonetheless."
Still staring dumbfoundedly at the tampon in her hands, Sakura gave him a slow nod even as her shoulder tingled uncomfortably beneath the weight of his palm.
It was still mortifying to be accepting a tampon from a man, and she continued to squeeze her thighs together in discomfort of the office suddenly feeling too small and too private. But, despite the awkward gesture, she thought it was considerate of him to be looking out for his female students like that. She'd heard of horror stories of male teachers mocking female students on their period with some of the men even refusing to let the girls go to the bathroom in the middle of class. So she would rather have a teacher like Professor Mizuki who would go so far as to even provide for the girls of his class.
This was her first time meeting a man who was mature enough to handle sensitive topics like these (but then again, she didn't personally know many men at all). It was a sharp contrast to all those boys Sakura had met who would cringe at such topics as if the image of a girl bleeding between her legs was enough to make them want to run away from her or disappear on the spot. And for that, Sakura was grateful for how well Professor Mizuki had handled this issue of hers. Better to have a man handle it with grace rather than act like menstruation was a shameful thing and humiliate her.
"Thank you, Professor Mizuki," Sakura whispered, wiping away the last of her tears. Her eyes felt swollen and heavy with exhaustion, so she smiled in gratitude when he offered her a Kleenex tissue as well.
"Of course," he said as he rubbed his hand up and down the length of her arm in soothing strokes. "I care about you, Sakura, and I want you to know that you can come to me for anything else you need."
Anything? He probably just meant the chocolates he'd offered last week, but Sakura now felt emboldened to ask him about the marathon on Friday.
"The one for that Botany club, right? Yeah, I attend that fundraiser every year. It's kind of expected for us fitness instructors. Gotta bring the school spirit and set an example for the students, you know?" he laughed sheepishly. "What about you? You're participating?"
Sakura nodded. "I'll be running to support my friend since she's in the Botany club. It'll be my first time doing a marathon though."
"Those are a bit more difficult than your typical mile run." Professor Mizuki rapped his knuckles on the surface of his desk in contemplation of something. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and pointed at her with a grin. "Tell you what: why don't we run together? We can help keep each other on our toes."
The offer surprised her. She'd asked him about the marathon with the hopes that she might get him to participate. But Professor Mizuki had once again extended a generous hand, and now he was suggesting they run together.
But I wanted to run with Professor Hatake, a little voice spoke up in the back of her head. No, at this point, Sakura doubted Kakashi would come on Friday.
Squashing down the bit of disappointment rising in her, Sakura smiled at Professor Mizuki. "Yeah, I could use a running buddy," she said just before a big yawn replaced her smile. It seemed the chamomile tea was taking effect quicker than she'd anticipated. While a nap sounded like a great idea after running around under the sun and getting smacked in the face left and right, she wasn't intent on falling asleep in her professor's office. She stood up and stretched her arms high, ignoring her sore muscles scream in protest. "Well, thank you for listening to me, Professor Mizuki. I really appreciate it, and that you took the time out of your day for me."
"Of course! I'm just glad you felt comfortable talking to me," he said, his smile widening as he observed another yawn spill out of her. It was big enough that Sakura had to cover her mouth with a hand. "Looks like you could use a nap."
She laughed through another flush of embarrassment. "Yeah, I stayed up late last night, so I am pretty tired. I think I should go home now."
Touching her shoulder again, Professor Mizuki guided her towards the door, grabbing the knob of it with his free hand but not opening it yet. "Sakura," he turned to her, rubbing her shoulder in comforting circles, "if there's anything else you want to get off your chest, I'm right here for you. Even if you just want to complain about school, your friends or siblings—"
"Oh, I don't have any siblings," Sakura tucked a pink lock behind an ear, somewhat shy to admit just how alone she really was. "I'm an only child and I don't have any cousins or anything."
"No relatives?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Your parents never bothered to tell you? Or take you to visit them?"
"Um…" Her lips pressed into a tight-lipped smile. "My parents have been working abroad since I was a young girl. If I had any relatives, I probably would be living with them instead of alone."
Professor Mizuki's brows shot up. "Alone? I assume your parents visit you every once in a while, right? At least once a month?"
She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "They're really busy with work, so…."
"So you're living completely alone right now?"
"I used to," Sakura said, glancing at his hand still rubbing at her shoulder almost absentmindedly. His hand fell away as she explained, "I recently moved into an apartment with my friend for the school year, and she's like a sister to me. But she goes home on weekends along with all my other friends, so it still gets pretty lonely. That's why I appreciate you letting me talk to you like this since I don't really have anyone let alone… let alone an adult," she finished with another yawn.
Professor Mizuki chuckled as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "You should go home and get some sleep. But if you need me when I'm not around, you can always call or text my cell. My number is on the syllabus, remember?"
Sakura nodded and he pulled the door open for her. "See you tomorrow at the marathon then, Professor Mizuki."
"See you, Sakura."
She felt the hand at her back disappear just as she looked up and met Hanako's aloof gaze. The girl gave Sakura no second thought as her dark eyes flitted past her and towards the professor awaiting her in his office.
The door swung shut behind Hanako with a loud click of the latch falling in place. The hallway remained completely silent save for the small squeaks of Sakura's sneakers on the floor as she walked away.
The showers would be completely free of any students now, but exhaustion weighed heavy upon her eyelids. She could take a shower later. For now, her bed was calling for her all the way from the apartment, so Sakura didn't even bother to change out of her fitness uniform. Sure, her crotch was begging for relief now, but she was just too sleepy to mind the wedgie as much.
After collecting the rest of her clothes from her locker, she briefly passed by the bathroom to check her panties for any hint of blood in case she did need that tampon. There was no spotting yet, but she would have to check later tonight or tomorrow morning.
Her feet dragged her home and although she tried to keep an eye out for Goro, it was honestly all she could do to keep herself upright with her feet moving in front of her. The walk was only ten minutes but it felt like an hour. It was strange; while fatigue was a common PMS symptom, Sakura had never been so exhausted to the point that she felt as if she was on the brink of passing out.
I guess this is what I get for pulling an all-nighter last night, she thought faintly through the muddiness of her mind.
Upon stumbling into her apartment, she practically lost consciousness the moment her face hit the pillows.
From there, she would dream of running... running for her life with the gut instinct that someone dangerous was chasing after her.
It had only been a few minutes since Kakashi had entered the department store, but already the women around him were staring at him. Staring, giggling, and whispering.
While he couldn't hear what they were saying about him, he could guess judging by the way the ladies threw him demure smiles and their boyfriends scowled at him when they thought he wasn't looking. Kakashi ignored them to take a peek at his watch. It was nearing dinner time and he'd been standing in front of the children's section of this department store for what felt like an eternity. Standing, pacing, pausing, and stalling.
At his side, Pakkun was stretched out on the floor, no doubt bored to death of having spent the last fifteen minutes watching his master dawdle around.
"I'm going," Kakashi assured him when the little guy gave him the side-eye.
Pakkun chuffed at that.
Running a hand through his silver locks, Kakashi inhaled through his mask. This area of the store smelled of sweet milk and sour diapers thanks to the moms pushing around their babies strapped into strollers. One of them brushed by him to head into the children's section and her baby dropped his stuffed tiger on the way with mom none the wiser.
Feeling Pakkun scrutinize him, Kakashi sighed and bent down to retrieve the toy. Its ears were wet for some reason, but he tried not to dwell on that as he dared to finally take a step into the children's section. His long legs carried him forth in a quick stride, and the mom gasped in surprise when he appeared at her side with a crease-eyed smile and her child's toy held out in offering.
She murmured her thanks, looking back and forth in bewilderment or unease between his scarred eye and his normal eye before her fussing baby pulled her attention aside.
Kakashi sauntered away with Pakkun in tow, returning to the aisle to start his search from the beginning. Kurenai's baby shower was on Sunday which meant he technically still had two days to look for a gift. But at this rate, if he kept procrastinating any further, he knew he'd be arriving to the party with a onesie meant for pups rather than babes. Kurenai would kill him for that, so Kakashi sucked in a breath to steel himself.
He glanced to his left and then to his right. The left side of the children's section looked as if someone had spilled their baby pink guts all over the place and added a dash of sparkles and unicorns. The right side was more masculine with shades of blue, green, and black with action figures and superheroes decorating the displays and mannequins.
Kakashi squeezed his hand around Pakkun's leash and headed into the tundra of pink tutus, unicorns, and sparkly dolls.
It should have been an easy trip. Walk in, grab something pink for the baby, and then walk out. But upon seeing the toothy smiles of babies plastered all over the walls and snapshots of children frozen mid-laughter on the posters and advertisements, Kakashi froze. His first warning was Pakkun's wet snout pressing urgently against his knuckles, but it was too late.
He knew his hands were shaking even though he could feel nothing but numb fingers tingling at the tips. His heart started to palpitate, louder and faster with each 'thump!' that seemed to pulse in his ears. Around him, he could hear children laughing and giggling... and then crying and screaming over the roar of explosions and the trill of gunfire.
He couldn't breathe anymore. The smoke and dust were curling into his airways and clogging his lungs, choking him from the inside out. Hearing the children crying for their 'Papa!' and 'Mama!', Kakashi whirled around, stumbling his way to the far corner of the children's section for some privacy. He accidentally knocked down a Barbie doll from its display and it tumbled to the carpeted floor, eliciting the memory of a girl's doll buried in rubble and streaked in blood.
Blood... so much blood.
In the distance, a baby was wailing and he could no longer tell if it was a figment of his imagination or what. The present and the past seemed to be merging into an amalgam of screams of horror and squeals of laughter.
Over the baby's cries, a woman's voice echoed in his ears, muffled and concerned. She was asking him if he was all right, but Kakashi was too preoccupied with the little girl clutching onto the woman's hip. The girl was giving him a strange look like she thought he was a lunatic. Or a killer.
"I'm fine," he crinkled his eyes at her, hoping to mask the pain. Spinning away, he returned to wandering around in search of a onesie he needed to buy for the baby shower.
Right. Shower. Sparks. Dust. Grenade. Bullets. Blood. Blood and rubble showering down on him.
His vision was blurry, but he could feel Pakkun licking at his hand, urging him back to reality. He shuffled over to the shoe section but the sight of the sparkly strap shoes drew forth the awful memory of children's shoes littering the streets after the explosions had sent them rocketing sky high.
The pressure in his chest increased to the point that Kakashi was forced to sit down at a table displaying little fuzzy hats meant to warm the bald heads of babies. It only reminded him of helmets of fallen soldiers sometimes picked up by children who wore it for fun.
He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed carefully through his nose. To any passerby, they would've thought he was just falling asleep, waiting for his expecting wife or girlfriend to finish shopping for their soon-to-be-born baby. The thought nearly had him dry-heaving and he gripped Pakkun's leash tighter.
It'd been a long while since Kakashi last had a panic attack that he didn't think to bring his medication. So he raised his wristwatch to his face and stared at the second-hand tick, tick, tick in a circle, counting each second and timing his breaths accordingly. Although it took a while, his heart slowed down so that it no longer felt as if it would burst out of his chest. Pakkun was still standing up against his leg to lap a warm tongue at his shaking fingers, and Kakashi wiped the sweat off his brow with his free hand.
"I'm all right," he croaked out, giving Pakkun a praising pat on the head. "I'm all right now. I'm okay."
Just as long as he kept his eyes down and away from the posters of grinning, giggling children.
Kakashi's hand was still trembling as he reached out and swiped at the first onesie he laid his eyes on. It was a dog-designed onesie complete with paw-sleeves for the hands and feet, and a hood with floppy ears. More importantly, it was pink.
A soft, baby pink that reminded Kakashi not of Barbie dolls but of cherry blossoms. Which was strange because this onesie was a dog design. There were no cherry blossoms imprinted so why was he thinking of pretty pink petals and jade leaves? Why was he thinking of the aroma of cherry blossoms and their gentle notes of vanilla? Sweet and calming... The more he thought of the cherry blossom and its fragrance, the less his hand trembled. The less his hand trembled, the more his mind began to clear and sharpen onto the memory of hair as soft and pink as cherry blossoms…or as soft and pink as the onesie in his hand.
He shook his head. What was he thinking? This shopping trip was supposed to distract him from the recent events that had been haunting him these past days. And yet, how ironic that he was surrounded by nothing but baby pink products that did nothing but remind him of why he was so fucked up in the head.
Stop thinking of her, he demanded himself. Stop it. She's your student.
But try as he might, Kakashi could only stare at the baby pink onesie in his hand as thoughts of a pink-haired girl filled his head. Her demure smiles when she was speaking to him, the lilt of her giggles when she found something he'd said amusing, the way she'd tuck a lock behind an ear when anxious, and how she never hesitated to reach out a small but gentle hand whenever she was concerned for him.
And there was that sick sense of pleasure he got whenever Sakura was concerned for him. That same sick sense of pleasure that had also filled him and his dick when it rubbed against her at the naked run and then when she had rubbed against it during the massage. They were little snippets of happiness that left him feeling simultaneously disconcerted, excited, and warm all over every time their conversations would take a one-eighty from something casual to something sensual. Every time her touches lit the rest of him up like a spark. Every time she rolled her eyes at something silly or perverted he'd said, or gazed at him with such affection that he'd completely forget she was even his student.
Every time Sakura toed that strict line drawn between them that set them apart as student and teacher, Kakashi felt something stir in him. Something he'd not felt for many years since the incident.
It was strange; he'd always been a bit of a lone wolf, preferring to keep to himself. He had never been one for intimacy even when in the middle of a good fuck. So why did he practically bask in the warmth of every intimate moment between him and Sakura? No, he knew why, and he let out a bitter chuckle, drawing looks from some strangers shopping around him.
I must be that pitiful if I'm relying on an innocent girl to save my damned soul…
Kakashi scowled, clenching the little onesie tight in his hand to reign in his control. He was a damned man for taking advantage of a girl—his own student no less—and her feelings for him. He knew Sakura had a crush on him and had only figured out just how deep her feelings for him ran after he'd smelled the delicate sweetness of her arousal so thick and heady in the darkness of the theater—after he'd heard her strained whimpers as she fingered herself next to him. But a part of Kakashi had tried to reason that she was only masturbating to the sex scene playing out on the screen and that it had nothing to do with him. Yet, his gut instinct had told him that he had everything to do with it, and then he'd gone ahead and tried to run with it after she'd kissed him on the cheek. Tried to see if her feelings for him ran deep enough that she would permit him to touch her through a massage.
But even when he'd finally gathered the courage to take action and offer her that massage to test her, he'd never expected she would actually agree to it. He'd certainly never expected Sakura to be so bold as to respond to him so fervently that she'd dare to grind against his erection like that. He'd expected her to run away then, but no. It'd been Kakashi who had run away instead once he'd realized things were quickly escalating to the point of no return.
All this time, he'd been so afraid of Sakura's rejection—so afraid that she'd drop those rose-tinted glasses and decide he was nothing more than a pedophile trying to get into her panties. Although, if he had to be honest, it was nearly impossible to resist the urge to slide his fingers past the thin waistband of her cotton pink panties and check just how wet she was. The only thing that had stopped him from doing that was the sight of the little worn-out bear design on the front of those panties. How would she have reacted if he'd done it though? Tear away from him in fear that he really was just a pedophile?
But… she wasn't afraid of me.
Was it because she had been blinded by lust in the moment?
No, there were many instances in which Kakashi had touched Sakura casually before, and there were just as many instances in which she'd touched him in kind. Not once had she ever shown an ounce of fear or disgust towards his touches. Instead, she'd always responded with a gaze that held only warmth and trust towards him. As if she would put her life in his hands without any hesitation.
He glanced down at the palm of his hand that carried Pakkun's leash. His palms were rough from years of his work on the field, and although they looked clean now, he could still see the bloodstains and mud that dirtied his hands. They would always be filthy with the lives he'd taken and the lives he'd failed to save.
They're too filthy to touch her, Kakashi thought to himself as he stared at his hands, contemplating why she was never afraid to touch him. Why she didn't even try to report him for his inappropriate actions. Why… she kept coming back to knock on those walls he'd thrown up to keep her out—keep her safe from him. Why was she so drawn to him in the same way he was drawn to her (because what could she possibly see in him at all?).
They were like magnets constantly pulling towards each other no matter how hard he tried to fight the attraction. And when one pulled away, the other diligently followed. Somewhere at the back of his mind, Kakashi feared that the more he tried to pull away from Sakura, the harder they would collide together.
He shook his head, pressing his hand fisted around the onesie against his forehead out of frustration. It was then he realized that his hands had stopped trembling completely now as if just thinking of Sakura had been enough to chase away the living nightmares that haunted him…. She had that effect on him, he noticed.
"But I wanna pet the puppy!" a young girl's voice whined out, breaking through Kakashi's thoughts.
He turned around to meet the same mother and her daughter again, but this time the little girl was reaching for Pakkun with the mom trying to pull her back.
"No, baby," the mom whispered down to her, yanking her daughter further away from Pakkun who was watching them lazily from his seat beside Kakashi. "You see that red vest on him? It says 'service dog' which means that the puppy is working really hard right now and we can't disturb him, okay?"
Pakkun is far too old to be a puppy anymore, Kakashi was half-tempted to say. Before he could correct the duo though, the woman was already dragging her whining daughter away.
Pakkun's tail thumped once against the floor; the only sign that he was disappointed by the missed opportunity for pets and hugs. Honestly, Kakashi wouldn't have minded letting the girl say hi to Pakkun, but most strangers tended to steer clear of Kakashi himself. He wondered if his scarred eye was that intimidating to them. On the bright side, his scars certainly kept people from trying to socialize (or flirt) with him. That, and Pakkun's vest, so he supposed it was for the better.
"What do you think?" he asked Pakkun, showing the onesie to him. Pakkun gave the outfit a lazy blink, which Kakashi interpreted to mean was his double-wink of approval. Giving the baby onesie another once-over, he nodded. "Mission accomplished."
And just in time too since his phone's alarm chose at that moment to ring.
After swiping it in dismissal, Kakashi sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. He took the moment to collect himself before peering back down at Pakkun. "It's time to go to the hospital."
Her hand was in agony now.
Over a hundred flashcards were scattered across her bed after having spent the past hour writing the root words and their definitions for anatomical terminology, and now Sakura could barely twitch her fingers.
With a sigh, she flopped back onto her pillows and then cracked her knuckles on both hands. Her joints popped loudly together, much to her satisfaction. That hour-long nap after fitness class had done well in refueling her with more than enough energy to finish her homework and study. But now all that was left for her to do was her English essay, and she wasn't so excited to be picking apart every word of every line just to look for evidence of sexual symbolism. She'd rather memorize the 206 bones in the human body than write an essay on how one or two lines from a story represents a theme of innocence and virginity.
In science class, you were either right or wrong. In English class, on the other hand, it was more of a matter of subjectivity. She could spit facts for anatomy, but no matter how concise she wrote her English papers, no matter what evidence she served or the analysis she provided in support of her thesis, Sakura was loathed to admit that she'd never gotten a perfect score for an English essay. Maybe an A at most, but never an A-plus which was just as infuriating as receiving anything in the B range.
Deciding to take a break first, she rolled off the bed to peruse her closet for tomorrow's marathon outfit. As she searched for a thin shirt, her mind wandered back to Professor Mizuki's offer to run with her. The truth was that she'd hoped to have Kakashi as her running buddy instead, but there was no point in getting her hopes up anymore.
Sometimes she thought she was cursed, what with her bad luck with the opposite sex. They always seemed to want to run away from her at the last minute, and she was getting tired of having her hopes ride up and down like a rollercoaster of emotions. College was supposed to have been her fresh start, but then all this crap with Daichi, Goro, and even Kakashi had started.
Ugh, if guys are normally this complicated, I guess I'm lucky I don't have an actual boyfriend. Just a to-be fiancé who exists only in name for now.
Ding!
At the sound of the notification, Sakura dropped the shirt in her hands and dove back onto the bed to reach for her laptop. Someone had sent her an e-mail just now. Her parents. Well, not really her parents but it was a notification from the bank that some money had been wired over to her from her parents.
7,000 ryo for the month.
Way more than necessary, especially when she only had to pay about 600 ryo for her share of the month's rent. Sure, she shopped for clothes and makeup too just like the average lady, but only during huge sales. And for school supplies, she was still reusing her supplies from high school. College textbooks were expensive but they still barely dented her monthly allowance. Which meant that at least half of her allowance usually ended up in her savings account instead. That didn't even count all the money she'd saved up from the many part-time jobs she used to work. Money that she hoped could help her parents when the time came...
Sliding the mouse to the corner, Sakura clicked to compose an e-mail for her parents. She could never find the right words to say to them since most of what she wanted to say, she longed to say it to them in person rather than in an e-mail.
Chewing the inside of her cheek, she began to type.
Hi Mama! Hi Papa!
I got the money you sent me. You know you don't have to send me so much every month, but I appreciate it. I hope work is going well for you guys. I miss you a lot. I've been a little less lonely since moving in with Ino for the school year, but I really would love for you guys to come and visit me when you have the chance. Maybe Christmas? I asked in my last email but you never responded, so I guess you've just been too hard at work. It's okay! Don't worry so much about me! Please take care of yourselves and get back to me when you can, okay? Mama, make sure Papa isn't just eating meat all the time. And Papa, remember to not use so many cups in one day since Mama is the one who does the dishes.
Sakura paused at that. Maybe her father already knew that? Maybe he'd already fixed that bad habit of his? If so, then that sentence was useless. But it'd been so many years that she didn't even know what kind of habits her parents still had. She didn't know if her mom still liked her rice sticky or if her dad still sneezed with his mouth open.
She didn't know anything anymore.
I love you both very much.
Always,
Your daughter
P.S. - Seriously, you don't need to send me this much money every month!
Her right pinky hovered over the 'P' button.
P.P.S. - If you have the time, please respond to this e-mail.
She bit the tip of her thumb, deliberating over the last line for a whole minute before deciding to just delete it. A tear was already streaking down her cheek as she hit 'send' and Sakura quickly wiped it away.
Not a moment later, the door burst open.
"Forehead, have you seen my text—" Ino stopped at the sight of Sakura. She must've seen the tears glistening in her friend's eyes because she immediately hurried over to sit at her side. "Sakura? What's wrong?" she asked, tucking Sakura's hair back to see her crying face more clearly.
"It-It's nothing!" Sakura replied as she closed her laptop and wiped the tear tracks on her face dry. She tried to smile but her bottom lip was still trembling. "I'm just PMSing. You know how stupidly emotional I get at this time. Remember when I throttled Naruto that time he stole a fry off my lunch?"
Deciding to play along with her tongue-in-cheek question, Ino laughed softly and nodded. "Yeah, I think you knocked a few brain cells out of him. But you know it's not your fault when your hormones get the best of you during your time of the month. It's normal."
"But I can at least try and self-regulate my emotions better." And by 'self-regulate', she meant bottle up her feelings with an air-tight seal and pretend everything was fine.
"Hey, I'd feel upset too if I felt like I was getting knifed in the gut every few seconds. Last month, I snapped at Sai for asking me if I was cranky because of my period. Poor guy looked as if I was about to kill him."
"I just hate PMSing," Sakura groaned out, flopping onto her back and letting some of her flashcards scatter onto the floor from the bouncing movement. "I get horny and then I get cranky and sad like a switch flipping on and off. It feels like my body is punishing me and saying 'hurry up and get pregnant you stupid bitch!' and I'm just… ugh." She grabbed a pillow and threw it over her face.
It was very tempting to scream out her frustration into the pillow, but it was still a bit too early in the day for that.
At the foot of the bed, she felt Ino try to pry the pillow away, but Sakura smacked her hand off.
"Okay, tell me the truth. Did something happen?"
Sakura was quiet for a moment.
"... Why are boys so confusing?" she eventually asked into the pillow.
"Huh?"
The bed creaked as Ino leaned in closer to hear her.
She lifted the pillow just enough to free her mouth. "Why are boys so confusing?" Sakura repeated with more bite this time. "One minute, they're warm and flirty with you and then the next minute they're cold and don't want anything to do with you. I don't get it! Every single guy who has ever shown any interest in me always just runs away at the last minute! They just leave me hanging! It's been like this for years—years!—and I'm sick and tired of it! It really damages a girl's self-esteem, you know!"
She'd even spent a good handful of years wondering if it had anything to do with her big forehead. Even now, she still sometimes speculated that her billboard brow was the culprit behind all these boys just ditching her before the first date could even begin. Whatever it was, her curse had apparently decided to follow her to Konoha U too because now even Daichi didn't want anything to do with her!
"Well... does it really matter though?"
Sakura frowned and nudged the pillow down her face just enough to peek at Ino. "What do you mean?"
Ino pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I mean—and I'm just trying to find the silver lining in this—but are these guys really worth getting upset over when you don't even have actual feelings for them? At least, not yet?"
"That's not the point. I just…" Sakura sighed. "You know I don't have much time left with my engagement. I don't care if I'm not even in love with the guy—although that would be nice too. I just want to experience a normal dating life like you and every other girl out there. I want to experience romance on my own terms however brief it is. Before doomsday comes."
"And that's sort of my point, Sakura. This is going to sound a bit harsh but bear with me. I think… you're just so desperate to rebel against the engagement that you might be reaching for something that's not really there. Sure, some guys have definitely wanted to ask you out but others… other guys are just nice guys and maybe you hope that there can be something more between you guys, so you overthink his intentions."
Sakura smacked the pillow off her face to gape at Ino who was already grimacing at her own words. "You think I'm that desperate for a boyfriend that I'd throw myself at every guy that's nice to me? Harsh!"
That's definitely not what she did with Daichi! Then again, she'd already had her eye on Kakashi...
"Am I wrong though?" Ino gestured with open hands as if looking for any faults or foible to her truth. "You just said it yourself: you want to experience romance on your own terms before the marriage. Admit it. You're desperate, Sakura—but hey," she said quickly as she caught Sakura reaching for the pillow again. "Listen, you have every right to be desperate, okay? Your engagement makes your whole situation... unique."
"Unique doesn't even begin to describe it," snorted Sakura. She sighed and set the pillow aside much to her friend's relief. "Okay, yes! I'm desperate! But maybe I wouldn't be this desperate if only every guy who ever asked me out wouldn't ditch me before the first date even starts!"
"Well, I don't know what's up with those guys, but with the other guys…" Scratching the tail of her brow with a pinky, Ino then let out a huff. "Look, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just saying that you're not experienced with dating and flirting, so… So you might be misinterpreting a guy's intention, and then raising your own expectations only for your hopes to be shot down when you realize that there was nothing special going on at all. So you can't always think of it as the guy acting hot and cold—it could have just been a misunderstanding! It happens! Oftentimes a girl is nice, and the guy thinks she's flirting with him. It can go both ways."
A misunderstanding...? Then did that mean the massage with Kakashi had really been a misunderstanding too?
Come to think of it... I'm the one who asked to use the lotion. I'm the one who unbuttoned my shorts for him to go lower. I'm the one who told him to keep going. I'm the one... who escalated the whole thing, Sakura realized with growing horror.
But what about his erection?
No, she remembered Sai had once explained that boys and men alike could pop boners over even the most trivial things. That it was sometimes just random occurrences, but it didn't necessarily mean that the guy was enjoying it—or even wanted it to happen.
And with my horny ass humping his dick, of course Professor Hatake would pop a boner! It's a purely biological reaction! Oh god... then all of this could only mean one thing...
That the massage had been a misunderstanding after all! She had been the one to make it more intimate than it was supposed to be. She was the one who had made things awkward between them. Here was this girl practically humping her teacher's leg because she was just so desperate and horny for a guy. God, no wonder Kakashi wanted to stay away from her! He had just wanted to help her out but then she had to go and turn the whole situation into the perfect jailbait scandal!
"Oh, thanks a lot, Pig! Now I just feel worse!" Sakura cried out, grabbing the pillow to smack it back over her face and hide the humiliation burning in her cheeks. "I'm so pathetic!"
"You're not pathetic."
"Yes, I am!"
"No, you just... tend to overanalyze things."
"And humiliate myself!"
"Hey, remember that cute cashier from the mall? Remember how he asked for my number and I thought he was trying to ask me out, but it turned out he just wanted to give me my rewards points? You're not the only one who misinterprets it sometimes."
Sakura knew Ino was just trying to make her feel better yet she still couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Yeah, but that's kinda different from my situation!"
At least you didn't rub your ass against your teacher's dick because you thought there was something special going on!
This time Ino yanked the pillow away from her to squint at her reddened face. "Okay, something totally happened with you. What? Is it a guy? Is it Daichi?" Seeing the way Sakura's eyes flitted sharply to her upon hearing Upstairs Cutie's name, Ino tipped a brow. "I ran into his roommate on the way up. He said Daichi had to transfer to another school across the city all of a sudden."
"Wait, you can transfer colleges in the middle of a semester?"
She'd never heard of that before.
"Maybe he has a rich daddy who pulled some strings?" Ino shrugged. "Anyway, I thought he was planning to ask you out sooner or later. I guess that never happened?"
"Yeah, I ran into him on Monday while he was moving out, but he just brushed me off like he didn't even want to acknowledge me."
"Aw, babe! Is that what's got you so upset?"
Well, yes but also no.
While she'd already mentioned the incident with Goro to the girls, it wasn't like Sakura could mention her growing crush on her Anatomy professor. So she nudged at her laptop with her foot to change the subject onto more depressing matters. "And my parents still haven't responded to my e-mails. I know that they're really busy with work, but... sometimes I feel like they've forgotten me, you know?"
Or worse.
Ino smiled in reassurance and waved her hand dismissively. "That's just your anxiety talking. Seriously, you're always overthinking things, Forehead. Your parents are probably just overwhelmed with work." But when Sakura continued to worry at her lip, Ino added, "Tell you what. Why don't I run to the store and buy some chocolate fudge ice cream?"
Sakura's lips quirked up at that. Before moving for college, it'd been a tradition between the girls to see who could run to the store first to buy snacks for whoever was currently crippled by their menstrual cramps. There was no scoreboard kept but Tenten, being the fastest runner of the four, was usually the winner for these races.
But right now, Sakura wasn't in the mood for ice cream, especially before dinner, so she shook her head in response. "Thanks, but I think I'll just sleep this all off. I was studying late last night, so that might be why I'm a lil' more looney than usual today."
Ino seemed to accept that, but she still decided to at least heat up a hot water bag for her stomach.
Hugging the rubber bag to her lower belly, Sakura curled up on bed and checked her phone. There were a few text messages from Tenten asking for her help on how to do taxes, an image-text from Hinata showing how Hanabi had made a macaroni necklace for Sakura (but only half since the rest were eaten), and Naruto had sent her a recent text urgently asking to borrow her copy of The Company of Wolves because he'd... spilled ramen soup all over his?!
She rolled her eyes at that the image he'd sent of his soaked book still dripping with a noodle strung over the girl's miserable face on the cover.
Sakura: go to the school library and ask to check out a copy
Naruto: Cant I just borrow urs? Plsss!
Sakura: And let u spill ramen soup on mine?!
Sakura: No way!
Without waiting for Naruto's response, she set down her phone and glanced over to her copy of the book where it balanced precariously on the edge of her bedside table. The girl's face on the cover was looking over her shoulder as if to meet Sakura's scrutiny. Or as if to say 'girl, are you gonna start your essay anytime soon or what?'
Sakura groaned and threw the pillow back over her face to go to sleep. Soon enough, she fell into a deep, deep slumber where she would still find no peace of mind because her dreams were haunted by the same wolf from before.
Torn between the lucidity of her dream and its surrealism, Sakura tried to gather her bearings as she felt the familiar warm tongue lap against her cheek. She stirred atop her bed, stretching her legs out to let the cool satin sheets glide against her warm skin.
The forest surrounding her was abuzz with the glow of fireflies and the chorus of the cicadas, yet Sakura's entire focus was drawn to the wolf looming above her. She craned her neck forward to press a chaste kiss to the tip of his muzzle and was met with a heavy lick that dragged across her lips. She fell back against the pillows to comb her fingers through the soft tufts of moon-white fur, sighing in contentment.
His ears pricked at the sound of her sigh, and the wolf bowed his head to lick at the edge of her collarbone as if to taste the salty warmth of her skin. A lazy smile drew across Sakura's face as she watched him sniff his way down the valley of her breasts, his snout dragging across the length of the satin slip she wore, a blood-red in this dream when the one she wore in reality was a sunshine yellow.
She was left shivering in anticipation as the warm huffs of his breaths started to caress her thighs. At the feel of his snout catching on the hem of her slip, Sakura bent back her legs to let the hem rise. Whatever apprehension or nervousness she would've normally felt in a situation like this one had been left in the wake of reality. Here, in her dreams, her body acted however way her mind pleased, and she smiled calmly as she parted her legs all the way until her knees fell against the sheets of the bed.
The wolf's tongue lolled out as he licked his chops, his wicked teeth glinting viciously under the moonlight. Liquid silver eyes met Sakura's jade gaze, and she thought faintly in bemusement that it was ironic that she could stare into the eyes of a predator and not feel a single ounce of fear. Instead, what swelled in her chest was something ardent and so potent that it was almost all too overwhelming to bear. It filled her entire body with a hot flush, so she cried out in relief when the wolf bowed before her once more to press his cold snout against the bridge of her panties—against the wet dip between her folds.
Mewling and tossing her head back, Sakura eyed the full moon hanging above them and blessing them with its holy rays. It felt right, letting her carnal need direct her in this strange ritual where actions spoke louder than words. So it didn't bother her at all when she felt the gentle pinch of teeth nipping at the edge of her panties to drag it down, down, down her thighs. She raised a shaky leg and watched the wolf toss aside the cotton pink panties with that silly bear design on the front, but the cold air between her legs wasn't enough to soothe the heat raging within her.
She sat up and grabbed the hem of her slip to yank the offending thing off. The cool air kissed the pink tips of her breasts, urging them to harden and prompting Sakura to twist around and lay on her belly to rub her sensitive nipples against the satin sheets.
She moaned, but it still wasn't enough.
That strange ache in her belly was burning hot with a fervent appetite for something more.
"More," Sakura whispered, pressing her cheek to the bed so that she could stare back at the wolf still sniffing the back of her thigh.
His keen silver gaze held hers with his ears pricking forward at the sound of her plea for him.
"Please," she beseeched him with a whine.
In answer, the wolf dipped forward to nip at a plump cheek of her ass. She gasped and instinctively drew her legs forth as that same fervent heat in her belly now seemed to flood her veins. She moved on a primal instinct, letting that aching need guide her limbs so that her elbows and knees were braced on the bed and her back arched in a sensual curve.
Her position was lewd and left Sakura vulnerable to all sorts of predators like the one slinking towards her from behind. And that was exactly what she wanted. To be consumed from the outside by the carnal pleasure eating her up from within. To feast on the hedonistic pleasures of the flesh and run amok like a wild child. To take control and do as she pleased—love as she pleased.
So voracious was her appetite for intimacy that when Sakura felt the first stroke of the wolf's tongue against the moist heat of her folds, she released a most enchanting wail. And she wailed again, keen and wanton when that heavy tongue pressed against her to drag across the plump swell of her cunt and taste the sweet dew of her most inner secret.
Her arms were trembling now but she felt as if the invisible chains on her had slackened, granting her the liberty to moan and arch her hips higher to present herself to the wolf and his wicked jaws.
How ironic that his mouth that could rip out the throats of any man was currently worshipping her most vulnerable place with not even a scrap of cloth to guard her. While this beast indeed possessed such sharp, pearly whites that asserted his position as a predator that ruled this terrain, Sakura saw him as nothing more than a beast with a gentle heart that could love a person just as much as he could kill a person. And even in this erotic heat, she felt such gentility when she reached back with both hands to grab the cheeks of her ass and spread herself further in an obscene presentation of her most vulnerable, vestal place, prompting the wolf to growl low in either hunger or delight and lap at her folds and the slick arousal spilling out of her.
The sensations of his rough tongue slithering along the length of her slit while his whiskers tickled the cheeks of her butt and his tumultuous breaths huffed against another entrance even she had never dared to touch… it was all too much.
Darkness started to creep around the borders of her vision as she teetered on the edges of ecstasy and something more. Something far more dangerous and thrilling.
There was the strangest urge to roll her hips back onto something more solid, and the way the muscles of her inner walls clenched urgently around nothing only drove her to grind her hips back in search of satiation. In search of something to fill up this aching emptiness inside her.
"More!" Sakura whimpered out, feeling the pink locks framing her flushed face shake from her exerted effort to keep her hips still.
A deep growl rumbled from the wolf and he obeyed with quick, rough licks that started from her swollen clit and dragged all the way across the swell of her slit. She shivered at the thrill of pleasure that ran down her spine, ending where her core throbbed hot between her quivering thighs. "More, please!"
There was a strange pressure building in the pit of her belly. It radiated in waves that washed across her whole body as if a tidal wave was building. Higher and higher, the wave rose with each hot lick at her cunt, and she felt every muscle in her body start to clench in anticipation for the crescendo that would come crashing down on her.
The wolf quietly chuffed against her, his breath tickling her soaked folds. She was dripping now, but Sakura could no longer tell if the clear fluid drooling down between her thighs belonged to her or him, or the both of them. She watched in satisfaction as the crystal clear thread stretched down to the satin sheets and drop there as another drool of arousal took its place between her legs once more.
So mesmerized by the lewd sight, Sakura was taken aback when the wolf dragged his heavy tongue across her cunt once more before curling it just past the tight gate of her entrance. She cried out, eyes widening more so at the knowledge of something foreign breaching her there rather than the actual sensation of it. Without warning, the tidal wave of ecstasy crashed down—and she shot up in bed, fully awake but discombobulated.
With her heart still leaping, she clasped a hand over her chest and took stock of her surroundings. She was back in her bedroom where it was pitch-black outside her window and the time on the clock read almost one in the morning. She'd slept far longer than planned but, apparently, she had done more than sleep.
Gingerly, she peeled back her blanket and gaped at the wet stain that spread out on the white sheets from beneath her. Had she peed herself in her sleep? No, as Sakura raised the hem of her sunshine yellow slip, she was bewildered to find that her panties were soaked through with the evidence of an orgasm.
She didn't understand. She didn't even do anything, so how...?!
Absolutely mortified, Sakura nearly tripped on the blanket in her hurry to the bathroom. She threw her drenched panties into the hamper and grabbed a fresh pair after wiping herself clean of her shame. Her fingers shook as she wiped furiously between her legs, and the tears were already burning hot in her eyes. She blinked the tears back as she returned to her bed and ripped the bedsheets off the mattress to replace them.
When she climbed back into bed and felt the crisp white sheets whisper against the heat of her body, a wolf with moon-white fur and silver eyes flashed in Sakura's mind. She grabbed at her blanket and pulled it over her head, hoping it would block out any more strange dreams in which strange creatures from dark forests visited her in the dead of night.
But curled up under the darkness of her blanket, Sakura could not stop her tears from running free.
A/N: Yikes! So Sakura's really in a pickle here. Since she's on a ""doomsday clock"" (aka her impending marriage to Sasuke), she can no longer afford to sit on her hands and wait for things (or men) to come to her. Kakashi giving her these mixed signals ain't helping either. But Sakura also knows that she cannot directly communicate with Kakashi the matter of the feelings between them because confessing will force Kakashi to take action - which means reject her straight up - and Sakura doesn't want that. She doesn't want their relationship to be destroyed for good. It's a huge 'will they or won't they' situation! As for Kakashi, the entire truth of why he's attracted to Sakura won't be revealed until much, muuuuch further into the story. But I did slip a subtle hint in this chapter and I think some of you guys are already catching on and will continue to figure it out as more layers of his character are revealed and we further explore the themes of this story 😊
Also, I'm going to make the Ryo currency here equivalent to the USD currency. So 7,000 ryo is basically $7,000 US dollars.
Tumblr: tcookies777
Twitter: Rey_OrganaSolo
AO3: TCOOKIES777
