The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 17: 143 Heartbeats Per Look
A/N: The #143 from this chapter's title represents the number of letters in each word of the phrase "I Love You" and is often used as an abbreviation for "I love you" in text messaging.
Her armpits were sweating through the red cotton of her sleeveless shirt.
Sakura wanted to blame it on the scorching heat of the morning sun, but she knew the real reason she was already sweating so badly was because of her apprehension that Kakashi would really not come. Well, of course he wouldn't, but she still didn't want to see her worst fear come true.
Sucking in a breath, she stole a glance around the participants milling across the field. There were a good number of students compared to the naked run for Welcome Week, and a handful of the school faculty had come as well. Under the shade of the Humanities building, she could see Professors Iruka, Guy, Asuma, and even that woman with the wavy dark locks whom she'd seen with Kakashi at the cafeteria. She had yet to catch sight of Professor Mizuki but there was still time as more and more students arrived while the Botany club members finished pitching the last of the tents.
"Good luck, Naruto!"
Standing off to the side of the couple, Sakura observed from the corner of her eye as Hinata offered her boyfriend a homemade sweatband she'd spent the previous night making. Against the background of the black material, a red spiral design had been sewn on the front and Naruto was quick to gush out praises over his girlfriend's beautiful work.
"Fifty ryo says they've already screwed," Tenten proposed after slipping up to her side.
Sakura frowned and watched Naruto take Hinata's hands into his as the couple started to speak in intimate hushed voices. Hinata's eyes were practically sparkling, and her face radiated such joy as she murmured something to Naruto and followed it up with a kiss to his cheek. The scene wasn't any different from all the other times Sakura had witnessed them together although this was the first time she'd seen Hinata have the guts to kiss him in such a crowded place.
"What makes you think they've already screwed?"
"Mostly 'cause they're glowing," Tenten answered, looking deceptively blasé.
"Glowing?"
"Look how happy they are."
Giggling at something Naruto had said, Hinata offered him a bottle of iced water. He took a grateful swig of it before splashing some onto his ruffled sunshine locks. Both their faces possessed a healthy blush, but that could easily be blamed on the morning sun beating down on them.
Sakura shrugged. "They look normal to me."
"You don't see a difference? Sex tends to bring lovers closer together," Tenten explained. "The level of intimacy is raised and becomes the new norm."
Sakura tipped a brow, bemused by the irony of her words. "And you would know how? Or is it that you've already had sex with someone?" she decided to add with a sly curl of her lips, catching a light flush start to crawl up her friend's face. "With Neji maybe?" When Tenten grimaced in lieu of a response, Sakura smiled and pulled her into a half-hug. "Hey, I can understand why you didn't want to tell me, and I want to thank you for being so considerate, but... I don't feel left out."
"You don't?"
Well, just a little jealous that you're free to be with the person you like.
Sakura shook her head. "I've been rooting for you and Neji since junior high when you guys joined the martial arts club together! And now I'm dying to know," she leaned in to whisper teasingly, "how good are his hands in bed?"
Tenten's whole face instantly bloomed a deep shade of red and she began to sputter. Sakura was still chuckling when her friend quickly excused herself because, apparently, her parents were calling her over.
Watching her go, Sakura's smile slowly fell away as she turned to watch Ino and Hinata each in their respective corners with their moms now. Ino was rolling her eyes at something Mrs. Yamanaka was nagging to her about while Hinata was listening quietly and attentively to Mrs. Hyūga. Neither Mr. Yamanaka nor Mr. Hyūga were in sight, but Mr. Hyūga had never really bothered to attend Hinata's school events anyway. As for Mr. Yamanaka, Ino had mentioned that her father was bogged down with a difficult case these days. As an FBI intelligence officer, his no-show didn't come as much of a surprise either. Left with their moms, however, both Ino and Hinata seemed less than enthused to be at the receiving end of what looked like a lecture. Still, Sakura couldn't help but watch on in envy of them as she stood all by her lonesome.
At least I have Professor Mizuki coming to support me, she reminded herself. Even though I would've preferred—
A faint tingling sensation abruptly ran through her. It shook Sakura out of her thoughts at the same time a girl bumped her shoulder in her hurry to get to somewhere. Or someone. Without thinking, Sakura slowly spun on her heel as that innate instinct in her gut pulled her around. At first, she was perplexed at the sight of just a bunch of girls—some of them her classmates from Anatomy—giggling together as they converged on...
Sakura's breath froze in her throat.
No way...
She took a subconscious step forward. Towards him. Her hand rose as if she could stroke back that pale silver lock of hair that hung over brows pinched together in distress as he tried to fend off the burgeoning crowd of fan girls. After all, the last thing anyone expected—especially Sakura herself—was for Hatake Kakashi to bother attending a school marathon fundraiser on what was supposed to be his off day.
She clasped a hand over her chest as her heart jumped up and down both with the elation of seeing Kakashi fulfill his promise but also with the jealousy of so many girls badger him with questions no doubt about his personal life. They were taking advantage of his time now that they'd finally caught him outside the classroom and there was no powerpoint or worksheet for him to redirect their attention to.
One of the girls in the group asked aloud if Kakashi worked out and everyone's eyes zeroed in on the defined outline of his arm muscles that strained against the sleeve of his thin shirt. His muscles bulged in a smooth flex as he rubbed the back of his head, smiled wryly, and answered with something along the lines of 'When I can'.
Another girl asked which gym he worked out at—no doubt so that she could coincidentally run into him there—and Sakura panicked at the thought of a crowd of fan girls spilling into Might Guy's Mighty Guys and offering their homemade lunchboxes for Kakashi to eat.
"I have my personal gym equipment at home," Kakashi replied, much to Sakura's relief and to the girls' disappointment.
But like the vultures they were, the women continued to poke him with questions in the hopes of gleaning any morsel of information about him. Does he have social media? No, he isn't into technology much. What shows does he like to watch? He prefers books. Does he live by himself? He lives with his dogs. What kind of dogs? They're mostly mixed.
Like the enigma he was, Kakashi was graceful in answering their questions without actually answering. No matter how specific the question was, he always replied with something vague or generic that only left the women hungry for more. They surrounded him, desperately trying to ply tidbits of his personal life. The sight was almost amusing as Sakura recognized that the walls Kakashi had thrown up against her were only an inch thick as compared to the ten-foot layer he put up against these women.
"My mom works as a nurse at the hospital," another girl started to ask, "and she says she once saw you visiting and carrying an engagement ring. Are you married, Professor Hatake?"
Something passed through Kakashi's face before he finally pulled out his orange book and cracked it open. "Well, I guess you could say I'm married to my books."
Despite the way his eyes were creased with a wry smile, it was clear he very much wanted to run up a tree and disappear into the foliage to avoid the hungry gazes of these women who looked as if they were starved for meat. And judging by the way some of the women bit their lips with their hands itching to touch how solid his muscles were, Sakura had no doubt that they had a very specific kind of meat in mind that they would like to taste.
At the memory of the stiff heat that had pressed against her back that day in lab class, Sakura shuddered and turned away to head for the bathroom. It was completely empty for the moment, so she took the time to brace the edge of the sink and study her reflection.
A rosy blush had already made its way to her cheeks; a telltale sign of how Kakashi made her feel even when his attention was on another girl. With a scowl, Sakura ran the faucet to splash some cold water on her face. The droplets dripped down her chin and she pulled into a stall to do the business she came here to do.
But no matter how hard she clenched her stomach and pushed, not a single drop of pee trickled out. Sakura huffed a stray bang aside in frustration, knowing exactly why she couldn't pee despite the persistent urge in her bladder. It was maddening how heavy her thoughts of Kakashi weighed in her mind that she was left so conflicted and tense to the point that she couldn't even take a piss for fuck's sake!
He was starting to affect her on a physiological level, and the longer she squatted over the toilet, the harder she pushed, the more Sakura's ire swelled hot in her chest.
She could not deal with this right now. That incident had been nothing more than a misunderstanding on her part. A misunderstanding that had happened because of her desperation, confusion, and even her horniness. Maybe Ino was right; maybe instead of studying, she needed to hop on Pornhub and just relieve herself of all the tension building inside her. But without any thought of Kakashi.
Maybe masturbating to him was the true cause of all these feelings swelling within her. Maybe she was just projecting her sexual fantasies onto him much like a pubescent boy would with their poster of a pin-up model.
Or maybe she was just overthinking things again—gaaah!
With a shake of her head and another frustrated huff, Sakura stood up from the toilet to leave. Just as she yanked her running shorts back on, she heard the door bang open and the voices of two girls instantly filled the bathroom.
"What is it with hot guys having such bad personalities?" one of the girls asked right in front of Sakura's stall. "Is it really that hard to get the whole package? Why does it have to be one or the other?"
"He's always late to his class too," her companion concurred.
Sounds kinda like someone I know, Sakura almost snorted aloud. She peered through the gap of the door, squinting at the dark-haired girl with her blonde friend. While the blonde wore a sports bra, the raven-haired girl's shorts were so small that the cheeks of her ass peeked out (although that was probably the intention).
"His tardiness is so annoying," Booty Shorts continued as she leaned in close to the mirror to adjust her ponytail. "And have you noticed outside of class he always has his nose stuck in a book? It's like he's saying 'I don't want to talk to you' or just can't be bothered."
Tardiness and nose stuck in a book? Hold on a minute, they aren't talking about Professor Hatake... are they?
"Seriously! I thought all those reviews complaining about him were just exaggerating but guess not." Sports Bra rolled her eyes before hopping onto the edge of the sink to clean up the lipstick over her lips. "I've never met a teacher as antisocial as Professor Hatake. Makes me wonder how he became a teacher."
Sakura blinked at them, appalled that her worst suspicions were confirmed true. She didn't recognize either of these girls from class, so that meant they were Kakashi's students from an afternoon section.
Adjusting her cleavage, Sports Bra added, "When I tried to ask him if he has a girlfriend, he told me to focus on my work! And when I tried asking him about it after class, he just said 'no comment' and then whipped out that stupid book to end the conversation. Like he didn't want to pay any more attention to me. So rude!"
Huh. He never did that to me... A smug grin tugged at Sakura's mouth.
Or maybe because I'm a walking disaster that he's forced to pay extra attention when I'm around. Her grin flipped into a grimace.
"He ignored you with a book?! That's horrible!" Booty Shorts sympathized with her friend. "It's his job as our teacher to answer our questions. It's like, what the hell am I paying you for?"
Sakura's grip on the stall's door handle tightened. You're paying for him to teach you—not gossip with you!
"Right? I don't understand why get into this profession if you hate dealing with students to the point that you can't even make small talk with them."
At this point, Sports Bra's obnoxious voice was starting to grate on Sakura's nerves. It was probably a good idea to just go and see if Professor Mizuki had arrived yet, but she found herself rooted to the spot as that ire from earlier returned full force, flickering hot in her chest with each passing comment the girls made about Kakashi.
"And I have a D in his class! Those quizzes are giving my grade a painful death!"
"At least you have a D—I have an F! And if I withdraw now, I'll end up with a W."
There was a pause, and then, "You think he would take a blowjob if I offered him in his office?"
Sakura's knuckles bled white from the death grip she had on the door handle of her stall.
"Seriously?"
"What? I did it with my employer. At least with Professor Hatake I wouldn't mind even if his dick is big."
"He does radiate Big Dick Energy," Sports Bra laughed, motioning with her mouth and hands in a vulgar gesture. "Honestly, yeah, I'd totally suck Professor Hatake's dick. But I bet you he'd just pull out that stupid orange book and read with that same, impassive face even while I'm giving him really good head."
Booty Shorts rolled her eyes. "Fuck, you're right. Honestly, I can't wait for the semester to be over already so that I can write a review for him. He's got the looks of a sex god but the heart of Hades—just dead inside."
The girls burst out into a fit of giggles.
A vein started to throb across Sakura's temple as they laughed over their crass joke. You don't know anything about Professor Hatake, she seethed within.
"Thank god this university has Professor Mizuki though. He's the complete opposite in terms of personality. He's too much of a nice guy though to ever accept a blowjob from his own student."
"Hm, yeah, Professor Mizuki is good-looking too, but nowhere near as sexy. Bet Professor Hatake has twice as many abs as that guy. And like, if you had to choose, whose babies would you want to have?"
"Professor Hatake's!" the girls laughed together.
Sakura wanted to vomit. Good thing there was a toilet right behind her.
"If I had his babies, I bet they'd look so damn fine," Booty Shorts sighed out.
Sports Bra snorted at her and flicked her blonde ponytail aside. "You mean if I had his babies! And I don't even care if the sex is good or not—I just want his babies, you know?"
No, Sakura did not know. But these girls looked a couple years older than her, and babymaking in your early twenties wasn't that unusual. What was unusual was having your own professor knock you up with his child but... if the girls were of legal age and the semester ended... would it be legal then to have your former professor's babies? Sakura shook her head to dispel such questions before they could pile up and give her a headache.
"Speaking of sex, I'd kill to see his whole face without that mask on. I don't wanna be making out with his mask. I want the whole package."
"I dunno, I actually like him with his mask. Adds to the mystery and allure. Besides, the fact that everyone knows how attractive Professor Hatake is despite his mask is even more telling of how handsome he is, don't you think?"
Booty Shorts acquiesced with a hum. "Sometimes I forget he's a teacher when he looks more like a model. And whenever he looks at me, I feel like I just got pregnant," she sighed, sweet and gushy like any girl crushing hard would. "I swear I can feel my ovaries tingling every time his attention is on me."
Sakura would've guffawed at that were it not for the fact that she admittedly got that feeling too sometimes.
"Same!" Sports Bra nodded hard, her ponytail bouncing up and down with her. "First night of school, I masturbated to Professor Hatake," she told her friend in a hushed voice that still echoed painfully loud across the bathroom's tiled walls. "I was having sex with my boyfriend and I just closed my eyes and imagined it was Professor Hatake fucking me. I actually got to orgasm that time around."
Something acrid started to build at the back of Sakura's mouth. It shouldn't have been so surprising to hear Kakashi's other students also masturbated to him—she was one of them for goodness sake! It didn't mean she liked hearing about it though. And she especially didn't like how she wasn't even the first person to do it. Hell, she'd been so mortified by the thought of masturbating to her professor that it had taken several nights to even muster the courage and just give in to the taboo fantasy. Meanwhile, other girls had no qualms doing it on day one.
"Isn't that kind of cheating?" Sports Bra's friend sniggered.
"Hey, it's not my fault my boyfriend is too inexperienced to make me come. He can barely last five minutes!"
"Wonder how long Professor Hatake can last."
"In my fantasies, for as long as I need him to."
That acrid taste of jealousy churned in Sakura's gut.
It was ridiculous to even feel this possessive towards Kakashi. Sure, she had the privilege of spending extra time with him outside his classes, but it wasn't like they were dating. She had no right to feel this way at all. Yet, this avaricious appetite in her continued to ache like the sharp pangs of hunger every time Sakura thought of Kakashi lavishing Mei and the other girls in class with just as much attention as he did with her. It was inconceivable. Since when had she become so selfish as to crave the spotlight of his attention?
"If only Professor Hatake wasn't so anti-social though. I fucking hate those kinds of people. They're so annoying," Booty Shorts said with her lips curling in disgust. That hot ire that'd been burning in Sakura quickly raged into a smoldering blaze as the girl added, "People like Professor Hatake who just stick their faces in books and ignore everyone as if we're beneath them are the worse. Like, humans were made to be sociable, so why were you even born? Honestly, what a waste of good looks."
That fire in Sakura roared and she finally burst out of the stall, startling both girls who were already in mid-giggle.
"I'd be anti-social too if I had to deal with people like you," she spat out, eyeing both girls with enough venom that any semblance of a smile had instantly fallen off their faces.
They stared at her in dumbfounded silence as Sakura huffed and puffed like a mad bull ready to bulldoze some sense into them. No, they weren't even worth the effort.
"Instead of judging others, you should take a closer look at yourselves in the mirror first," she added for good measure.
With that, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and stomped out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut harder than necessary. Squeezing her hands into fists, she tried and failed to tame that lick of anger still burning within. How could they speak so ill of someone they hardly knew?!
Professor Hatake is more than just a handsome face! He's more than a piece of meat to be objectified!
Sakura slowed down as it dawned on her that she, too, had spent a good number of thoughts objectifying Kakashi like that. She'd already lost count of how many nights she had masturbated to the fantasy of his deep voice purring sweet nothings in her ear while his own body worshipped hers.
She was ashamed to think she was anything like those girls. At least at the start of the semester. Having gotten to know Kakashi since they'd met, however, Sakura had come to know him as more than just her professor. She'd originally met him as just 'Kakashi', and it was just Kakashi that she had come to know him as despite juggling the titles 'Professor' and 'Mister' on and off campus.
To her, Kakashi had always been more than her handsome Anatomy professor. He was special in a way that there was no label for it—not yet, at least—and to hear those girls badmouthing him had incensed Sakura as if they had been badmouthing her too.
Still fuming, she stomped her way back onto the field of pitched tents and the swelling hubbub of participants. It was then she finally registered the subtle ache of her bladder reminding her that she hadn't even peed a single drop. But returning to the bathroom and running into those girls again would downplay her dramatic departure. Sakura was much too obstinate for that, so she continued on her merry way.
Outside, Ino and the rest of the Botany club had just finished assembling the tables. There was a larger mass of participants now, chatting and crowding around the tables to pick up their race number bibs. Clenching and unclenching her hands to relieve the last of her tension, she strolled over to the tent at the far end of the field where the line was hardly more than a handful of people.
But lo and behold, it seemed Kakashi had also possessed the same idea because as soon as she picked up her bib, she caught him joining at the end of the line. As expected, his nose was stuck in that orange book again but, unlike the girls in the bathroom who'd found it aggravating, Sakura only thought it endearing. The way his long fingers were poised carefully on the front and back covers, to the way his eyes swept side to side so earnestly as if he was cherishing every word of every sentence he'd no doubt memorized by heart after reading countless times already.
A smile quirked on his masked lips, prompting one to quirk on Sakura's as well.
He stroked his jaw thoughtfully as if digesting the scene down to the last word, and then turned the page to do it all over again.
Such a sight snuffed out the caustic flames of anger that had throbbed in her, and Sakura could only clench the hem of her running shorts as she stood between the decision to walk away or... to knock on his walls again. See if he would let her in or something. Anything.
She was indeed a desperate girl.
When she approached him, his fingers seemed to stiffen ever so slightly against the book while the rest of his figure remained in a relaxed slouch.
"Hello, Professor Hatake," Sakura smiled at him even as she gripped her shorts with clammy hands.
There was a second-long pause before Kakashi finally lowered the book to meet her gaze. Unexpectedly, he raised his free hand in a wave and gave her a crease-eyed smile. "Yo!"
The breezy greeting caught her off guard but not so much as the way he smiled at her, tight-lipped and eyes crinkled shut. The disappointment that shot through her heart was almost enough to wipe the smile off her own face. His walls were still up. And what better way to disguise it behind an all too cheery smile?
She ignored the knot twisting in her stomach and continued to smile timidly at him. "You... You came."
Maybe it was the way her voice was hardly more than a whisper. Or perhaps whatever expression she wore was more vulnerable than she believed. Whatever the reason was, it was enough for Kakashi's smile to subside and for his hand to tuck away his book. "I did."
"Just like you promised."
"Just like I promised," he echoed softly.
His stare remained guarded, but this was her chance. Possibly her only chance.
Sakura licked her lips. "Professor Hatake, I... I want to apologize for... for what happened last Wednesday. It was all my fault—"
Kakashi was already shaking his head. "No, that's not true. I was the one who initiated—" he paused, searching for the right word—or rather, the appropriate word, "—it."
Well, he couldn't be any more vague than 'it' but she understood what he meant. And she understood that discussing 'it' in the middle of a crowd of students and faculty on school campus probably wasn't a great idea, but she didn't know when her next chance would be to apologize.
"But I'm the one who misunderstood, Professor," insisted Sakura.
He hesitated at that, grey gaze darkening with turmoil as if he was confronted by a conundrum rather than an apology. It had her stomach flopping in a panic. She didn't know what she'd done wrong now. Am I making him uncomfortable by addressing... it? Should I not have apologized then?
Her nails dug into her palms as she continued to clench the hem of her shorts tighter and tighter.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry!
"Please don't be mad at me, Professor," Sakura whispered to him. Even in her own ears, her voice was so fragile that she worried it was carried away by the breeze. The tears were rushing forth now, so she lowered her face to stare forlornly at her sneakers.
Suddenly, a warm hand rested atop of her head. She raised her face to meet the soft crinkle of Kakashi's gaze where his eyes were still dark with turmoil but not so icy anymore. And neither was the smile beneath his mask. "I'm not mad at you, Sakura," he said gently. His hand tousled the crown of her hair almost affectionately. "I was never mad."
"You... weren't?" Sakura sniffed. She wished his hand would slide down to rest upon her cheek so that he could stroke her tears away before they'd fall.
The hand patting her head paused. There it was again; that hesitation that sent Kakashi's eyes darting to every person that stood within a five-meter radius of them. But nobody was paying attention, and even if there was... well, a teacher patting his student on the head wasn't inappropriate... right? Truth be told, the line between appropriate and inappropriate had always been a bit of a blur for her when it came to Kakashi.
"Sakura," Kakashi started in a hushed voice. "Listen, I—"
"Kakashi, is that you?!" A voice beyond his shoulder had Kakashi instantly drawing his hand from her head. His eyes fluttered shut and Sakura tilted sideways to see Professor Mizuki approaching them. He was dressed in his own shirt-and-shorts attire not unlike the attire he usually wore for fitness class. Clapping Kakashi's shoulder, Professor Mizuki gave him a jovial grin. "It is you! Wow, never thought I'd see you attend an event you're not required to attend since you used to find them banal. Hey, Sakura!" he winked at her before stepping to her side.
The whiplash of the tension breaking in just a split-second left Sakura stammering as she looked back and forth between Kakashi and Professor Mizuki. Meanwhile, Kakashi did the same with her as he observed the way the fitness instructor stood comfortably at Sakura's side.
"I'm only attending because Guy roped me in again," Kakashi said to his colleague.
Sakura frowned, perplexed that Kakashi would say that he came for Professor Guy when he'd just said that he came to fulfill his promise to her. Before she could dwell on that, she noticed that his posture was now rigid straight instead of his usual slouch, putting him half a head taller than Professor Mizuki and forcing the fitness instructor to shield his eyes as he squinted up at Kakashi.
"I didn't know you were attending the marathon either, Mizuki," Kakashi added with curious tilt of his head. "Thought you would be spending time with Tsubaki."
Tsubaki? The woman in the photo from Professor Mizuki's office?
"Well, I'm a fitness instructor, so I thought I should set an example for my students. Plus, Sakura's never ran a marathon before, so I thought I'd run with her for support too." Touching her shoulder, Professor Mizuki smiled down at her and gave her a playful shake. "It's nice to have a running buddy, yeah?"
"Y-Yeah," Sakura tittered nervously, unable to shake off the strange feeling that she was at an impasse. Which was weird because she was the one who'd invited these two men to come to the marathon fundraiser and they'd both come as promised. This even gave her the rights to brag to Ino that she'd convinced the two hottest teachers on campus to participate in the event. So shouldn't she be over the moon then? Instead, she had to fight off the urge to shrug away Professor Mizuki's hand on her shoulder—the same hand Kakashi was currently staring at.
"It's just a three-mile run. I believe Miss Haruno will do just fine on her own," Kakashi asserted, raising his stare back to Mizuki's festive grin. "She's not a child anymore."
The latter comment sent her heart soaring from the acknowledgement even as she blanched at the idea of running three miles. It was three times what she was used to running.
"Aw, c'mon!" Professor Mizuki slid his hand to wrap an arm across Sakura's shoulders. He pulled her just a bit closer to him so that she could pick up the faint spice of his cologne—a sharp contrast to Kakashi's scent that reminded her of walking through an enchanted forest on a winter night. "When my favorite student asks for my support, how can I refuse?"
Kakashi's stoicism seemed to fracture as he blinked at the implication. He shot her a look that sent Sakura's heart plummeting to her stomach, suddenly heavy with guilt. "I didn't think you were the type to ask for help if you could help it, Miss Haruno," Kakashi said, his flat tone contradicting his crease-eyed smile. "You never ask for it in my class."
"W-Well, you always explain the concepts so well that you already answer all my questions by the end of the lecture, Professor Hatake," Sakura replied, lips tilting up in a silent apology.
She wasn't even sure what she was supposed to be apologetic for, but that fake smile Kakashi wore told her that something about this situation peeved him. And the way his icy gaze fell on her face as she had spoken only left Sakura shivering. There was something about that stormy gaze of his that tugged on a faint thought lurking at the back of her mind.
Liquid silver eyes flashed for a moment. That was all it took for Sakura to recognize that odd stare Kakashi was giving her. It was eerily similar to the stare of her moon-white wolf. From the liquid silver of his eyes to the promises of dark secrets and the thrill of danger. It unsettled her as much as it enticed her.
"Really now? Or perhaps you're just too shy to ask me, Miss Haruno," Kakashi murmured.
Heat started to pool in Sakura's belly at the same time a flush crept up her face.
Professor Mizuki saved her with an easygoing chuckle that dispelled the tension once more. "Kakashi, don't take it so seriously! You haven't been teaching very long so you don't have much experience with children."
Children? Sakura frowned at that.
"You gotta make them feel comfortable enough to talk to you and come to you for help," Professor Mizuki continued. "Maybe start by not being so strict and scary with your students."
Kakashi responded with a non-committal hum, but Sakura was already peeling away from Professor Mizuki to shake her head at him in disagreement. "Actually, Professor Hatake is—"
Fweeeet!
A club member was waving a sign and yelling into a loudspeaker, directing participants to proceed to the marathon track once they've obtained their race number bibs. Feeling Mizuki steer her away to give space for the other participants to grab their bibs, Sakura spared Kakashi one last glance but he had already whipped out his book to bury his nose in.
She felt her shoulders sag in defeat as Professor Mizuki droned on with running tips for the marathon. Her apology had ended up as nothing more than a blunder; just another failure to add to her growing list. And if Kakashi's perfect memory served right, she had probably hit the double-digits already.
I can't even apologize to him properly, Sakura thought dejectedly as everyone gathered behind the starting line. Kakashi had picked a spot close to the front, much further away from newbie marathoners like her who stuck to the back. But with his tall figure that towered over everyone else, she could easily make out the unruly locks of his silver hair glinting under the sun. She could also make out Professor Guy at his side, pumping his arms and legs in anticipation.
A sudden silence fell over the crowd of runners as everyone fell into their running position. Professor Mizuki nudged her and murmured something, but Sakura was too focused on Kakashi to pay him attention.
Bang!
The starting pistol went off.
Professor Guy shot forth, and so did all of the runners. All of them except for Sakura for she had seen the way Kakashi had flinched so violently from the sound that it kept her frozen in place. It only lasted for a second before Professor Mizuki nudged her forth, and she took a step only when she saw Kakashi do the same.
Amid all the perplexities that filled Sakura's head when it came to Kakashi, one of them was the way he reacted to things. Sometimes, there was a distant look in his eyes as if his mind was miles away or years elsewhere, and then something would happen that would snap him back to the here and now. Just like what had happened with the pistol shooting off.
It was during times like that when Sakura would do anything just to get him to tell her what sort of thoughts stole him away from the present time. What was so important that he had to hide such thoughts behind crinkled eyes or guarded gazes? If only he would give her the key, she would unlock such secrets so that his mind would no longer be burdened.
"Doing okay?" Professor Mizuki asked as he jogged alongside her.
She gave him an affirming nod, making sure to keep pace as he'd instructed her. Kakashi was long gone now, racing off in the distance alongside Professor Guy at such a speed that it seemed they were sprinting rather than jogging even though it was barely a few minutes into the run.
Talk about running like the wind, she thought in bemusement.
A couple meters ahead of her, Naruto and Lee also seemed to be racing as they consistently struggled to outpace each other. She didn't understand what was it with men and boys when it came to physical activities. It seemed as if all males had a code written in their DNA that instructed them to prove their masculinity whenever their physicality was put to the test.
Admittedly, she was impressed when Naruto and Lee showed no signs of exhaustion once they reached the first kilometer marker. Hinata and Tenten cheered them on from the tables as they and the rest of the volunteers offered cups of water for the runners. At Professor Mizuki's instruction, Sakura ignored the cups and continued to follow along the trail of orange cones that marked the path for the marathon track.
After the second kilometer marker, her sneakers started to slap loudly against the gravel. Her legs were burning with the exertion of running for over a mile now. This was more than she was used to running back in junior high and high school, but there were 3 more kilometers to go.
At the third marker, her lungs were screaming for respite, she could hardly feel her legs anymore, and the wind had ripped out locks of hair from her ponytail so that it clung to her dry lips. At Professor Mizuki's behest, they slowed down to chug a cup of water. Only enough to soothe her parched throat though. But as soon as she took that first sip, Sakura felt that familiar ache in her bladder warning her.
Shit. She needed to pee. Really bad.
"Almost there, Sakura," Professor Mizuki encouraged her in between pants.
Sweat glistened on his brow now but it was nothing compared to the droplets stinging her eyes. She rubbed her sweat away but there was nothing she could do about her bladder burning for relief. The sensation was far worse than the burn of her leg muscles or lungs because it forced Sakura to clench her stomach so as to keep control of her bladder and the urine that threatened to trickle out of her.
Why did I drink so much water this morning?! she inwardly bemoaned.
Professor Mizuki must've noticed her tense posture and the discomfort in her face because she could feel his gaze on her instead of the road that stretched on ahead.
"You need some water?" he asked, nodding to the water station appearing just around the corner. It was the fourth marker; just half a mile more.
Sakura shook her head. If I drink any more then I'm gonna piss myself!
She chose to focus on her ragged breaths rather than any thought of liquid, especially the liquid burning to spill out of her right now. God, if she were to piss herself in the middle of a marathon in front of her peers and teachers, then she would have no choice but to transfer to another school.
Finally, the finish line came into view and she nearly wept in relief upon passing through it. Family members and volunteers cheered her and the other runners on as they spilled past the finish line and slowed down to a stop. Professor Mizuki high-fived her in congratulations but Sakura was already scanning the raucous crowd for a silver head. She didn't see Kakashi, but she did see Professor Guy speaking with Lee who seemed to be in the midst of consoling his teacher with a speech about how finishing a race is more important than winning it.
"It seems Kakashi got first place," Mizuki mused aloud, confirming her suspicions. He turned to Sakura with a proud grin despite her still gulping in breaths of air. "You did really well for your first marathon, Sakura. I'm really pleased with your time result, especially considering that you never did any training for this or even warmed up beforehand."
More than pleased by her runtime, Professor Mizuki continued to prattle on about her athleticism as they ambled to one of the tents to collect their stuff. While she normally would've loved to be showered in praises by her teachers, it was all Sakura could do to focus on her bladder. Holding in all her pee for this long was bordering on painful now, and it was the real cause behind the little tremor in her legs instead of exhaustion from running. Professor Mizuki didn't seem to notice as he turned them to the water station for some drinks while turning their conversation to volleyball.
Too polite to interrupt him, Sakura decided to suffer in silence as she waited for the right moment to cut in and excuse herself to the bathroom. But then her chance was ruined when he suddenly offered her a spot on the volleyball team. The proposal caught her by surprise that she managed to forget about her bladder problem for just a split second.
"Oh, um..." Her mind said 'yes', her heart said 'no', and her bladder screamed 'PEE!'
Extracurriculars always looked good on paper, and Sakura honestly didn't mind joining a sports team. But just because she didn't mind it didn't mean she wanted to do it. Sports wasn't her passion. It was more of a hobby much in the same way flower arrangement classes were for Ino. Neither girls wanted to pursue those hobbies as a professional thing.
While waiting for her response, Professor Mizuki unscrewed the cap of his water bottle and took a long sip while Sakura fumbled for an answer. He lowered the bottle and began to screw the cap back on while juggling his phone in his other hand. The bottle slipped from his fingers and rolled away from them, stopping just as a passerby kicked it further away so that it skittered underneath a deserted water station.
"I got it!" Sakura said, already chasing after the bottle and more than happy to steal some extra time to consider his proposal.
Most of the crowd had trudged away to where they could pick up their personal belongings, leaving a clear path for Sakura to take as she strode over to the water station. Getting down on her hands and knees, she reached beneath the table to grab the water bottle. As she stood up and pivoted around to return to Professor Mizuki, she was bewildered to find Kakashi had taken her place at his side.
At a few feet away, she could see Kakashi gripping Professor Mizuki's wrist that belonged to the hand holding his phone. Kakashi was leaned in close to his colleague, his lower jaw shifting but Sakura couldn't hear what he was saying. Judging by his gaze darkened even more so by his frown, however, it seemed Kakashi wasn't too happy. While stoicism was a trademark look he wore as well as he wore that mask, his face seemed especially solemn now with his jaw feathered tight—the antithesis to Professor Mizuki's easygoing smile.
As she approached them, Kakashi released Professor Mizuki's wrist at the same time the fitness instructor turned his smile to Sakura. He thanked her, plucking the water bottle from her hands.
"Professor Hatake," Sakura said, finding her throat dry for different reasons now, "c-congratulations on getting first place."
And he hadn't even broken a sweat! Seriously, was he even human?
For a moment, it seemed Kakashi hadn't heard her as he was still staring hard at Professor Mizuki. Then he ripped his attention away from Professor Mizuki and she forgot all about her urge to pee as the iciness of Kakashi's gaze on her shook Sakura to the core. Gone was any semblance of the man she'd come to know these past weeks. What laid in the darkness of his eyes was a killing intent that washed over her like a bucket of ice water.
Professor Mizuki's amused whistle suddenly pierced the tension. "Yeah, Kakashi, nice run there!"
He pat him on the back much like any team player would in a show of good sportsmanship, but Kakashi's attention remained locked on Sakura.
"Miss Haruno, I believe your friend was looking for you," Kakashi said in a deceptively calm voice.
Still perturbed by his strange expression, it took Sakura a while to find her voice. "O-Oh, really?"
"Yes, the blonde girl."
Ino?
Professor Mizuki stepped closer to her. "Sakura, about my offer... I'd still like to talk to you about it. Volleyball stuff," he told Kakashi who had taken a step closer as well. "It'll bore a guy like you."
Sakura looked to Professor Mizuki, but her eyes then fell to the water bottle clutched in his hand. As if on cue, her bladder started to burn fiercely in protest of carrying so much urine for too long. She gently cleared her throat for their attention. "Um, Profess—"
"Volleyball? Boring?" Kakashi scoffed at his colleague as Sakura surreptitiously started to press her thighs together. "I like a good volleyball match," he said with a shrug. Any traces of his dark demeanor from earlier had been wiped away, replaced by that lackadaisical aloofness usually reserved for the classroom.
Sakura was too busy screaming inside from the pain of her bladder to care anymore. "Pro—"
"Ah, I see," Professor Mizuki nudged him playfully. "It's the cute girls jumping around in their bikinis, huh?"
She laughed with them even though she was dying inside. How could they be thinking of girls in bikinis while her bladder was ready to burst like a water balloon?! The urge to throttle these men was almost as powerful as the urge to pee.
"Prof—"
"Sorry to disappoint you, Kakashi," Mizuki continued, "but I just want to talk to Sakura about joining the team."
And I just want to pee!
"Tryouts ended last month, Mizuki. She'll have to wait for next fall."
The image of a waterfall popped into mind and she nearly wept. "Professors?"
But the men continued their back and forth. Sakura squeezed her thighs tighter as it was clear that they were too busy haranguing each other to bother with the actual subject of their conversation.
"I believe an exception can be made for an exceptional player like Sakura. With enough training, she can hold on just fine with the varsity girls."
I can't hold on much longer!
"Rules are rules, Mizuki. She has to wait."
My fucking bladder can't wait!
"You always were a by-the-book kind of guy, Kakashi. Still so strict after—"
"I NEED TO PEE!" she blurted out.
The two men whipped their heads back to Sakura, both of their gazes instantly falling to where her thighs were squeezed together and her hands were fisted over her crotch. Her face burned hot by the unwanted attention, but she was dangerously close to staining the thin cotton of her shorts with her own piss and then these men would certainly have something to stare at.
"I-I'm sorry," Sakura mumbled through the heat of embarrassment as she realized she'd just very rudely interrupted a conversation between her teachers. "Please, I... I have to go really bad."
She hadn't meant to announce her urge to pee to the world, but the cat was out of the bag now. Besides, even if she hadn't said anything, her little pee dance was obvious enough.
As if to make her situation even more embarrassing, both Kakashi and Professor Mizuki seemed at a loss for words as they ogled her hopping side to side in an effort to distract her body of its needs.
It was Professor Mizuki who reacted first with an awkward cough. "Uh, there's quite a line for the bathroom..." he said, nodding at something over her shoulder.
Following his line of sight, she nearly fainted at the long line of girls winding out of the Humanities building. There had to be over a dozen girls. Not that her bladder had the patience for even just a dozen.
A low moan of despair escaped her and she quickly moved to cup a hand over the crotch of her shorts as she felt a few drops of pee start to trickle out now. The heat seeped into her panties, wetting it. No, no, no! This could not be happening! While she was more than ready to piss, she was not so ready to have both her professors witness her shame run down her legs in a golden stream.
"Is there another bathroom nearby?" she pleaded with the ground, watching her own feet hop side to side. Kakashi quietly mentioned the next closest bathroom was three buildings away, if she could hold it. "I can't hold it," she whimpered out, holding back another agonized moan.
Just as she was contemplating finding a tree to run behind and relieve herself, she heard the jangle of keys and glanced up at Professor Mizuki smiling and holding the keys to her salvation.
"I can sneak you into the bathroom in the gymnasium if you want."
"Oh, thank you, Professor!" Sakura nearly sobbed out as she shuffled over to him.
Kakashi threw his colleague a hard look which Professor Mizuki ignored. Suddenly, Kakashi raised his hand. "What a coincidence! I could use the bathroom too."
The smile on Professor Mizuki's face faltered at that. He swung the keyring around his index finger once... twice... and then he nodded. "Sure."
It was clear there was something going on between those two. Sakura didn't know what, but it seemed as if they were holding some sort of pissing contest of their own. Tension accompanied them like a thick miasma hanging in the air; it was the same as before the race, but heavier this time.
As she followed Professor Mizuki to the gymnasium, she dared a peek at Kakashi. He trailed at her side in a lazy slouch, hands tucked all the way into his jogging pants, but the blue vein that branched up his forearm seemed more pronounced than usual. As if his hands were fisted deep in his pockets. And his face was impassive, as expected, but the grey of his eyes had darkened again with that icy antagonism.
She'd never seen such open hostility from Kakashi before—not even from that night he'd saved her from those punks. While he'd always given off dangerous vibes that would've made any parent warn their daughter away, Sakura didn't believe Kakashi was the kind of person to actually engage in dangerous activities. After all, he was her Anatomy professor! The same dork who giggled at his prized porn book, liked to read cheesy adult romances in the back of the store, couldn't hold a conversation on his own to save his life, and was always exactly fifteen minutes late to class with some recycled alibi about saving a dog from a car or helping an elderly cross the street!
But... why do you have such a scary aura now? It was completely different from before the race when he'd tousled her hair with such a gentle hand. How could someone like that have the eyes of a killer? No, not a killer—a predator.
Those stormy eyes sidled to meet her gaze and Sakura gasped as the moon-white wolf replaced him for just a second. She shot her gaze down to the maplewood flooring of the gymnasium, silently berating herself for even comparing Kakashi to a beast. The warmth of his hands and the way they'd always handled her with care reminded Sakura that Kakashi was anything but a beast.
Still, she did not have the gall to look him in the eye.
Once they reached the restrooms and Professor Mizuki unlocked the ladies' first, Sakura hurried into the sanctuary of the restroom, desperate to pee and desperate to avoid Kakashi's eyes burning onto her face. Without bothering to lock the door of the stall, she yanked her shorts down and plopped her ass on the toilet seat. The bridge of her panties was already damp from the bit of pee that had escaped her, but she paid no heed as she started to push.
Her pee came out in a small, hesitant trickle at first before spilling into the toilet in a sharp stream, eliciting a pleased moan from Sakura until she remembered her voice echoed loudly thanks to the bathroom's acoustics. She bit back her moans as the pressure in her bladder gradually eased up.
After washing her hands, she strode out of the bathroom, smiling in relief and checking her shoes for any toilet paper sticking to her. Then she glanced up, and her smile dropped at the sight of Kakashi and Professor Mizuki standing before her, their figures almost imposing with the way they both had their arms crossed and faces stony.
She blushed instantly as she realized the men had been waiting for her while she'd been moaning in the bathroom over her own solo pissing contest at the same time they'd been continuing their pissing contest just outside. Having stepped back into the awkward bubble that seemed to entrap them, Sakura curled a lock of hair behind an ear and tried for a lighthearted smile.
"Um, thank you for waiting for me," she said to the both of them, but more so to Kakashi though in the hopes it'd brighten his mood.
Both men silently spared each other one last meaningful look she couldn't decipher before Professor Mizuki led them out of the gymnasium. While the fitness instructor locked up the back entrance they'd slipped through, Kakashi's phone dinged aloud with what sounded like a text notification. He checked his phone, the frown on his face deepening before he flicked his eyes back to Sakura.
She gulped.
"I'm sure your friend is still waiting for you, Miss Haruno," Kakashi said, his voice strung tight with... fury? "You should go to her."
"Sakura and I still need to discuss her potential for the volleyball team," Professor Mizuki interjected with a laidback smile that contradicted the hard line of Kakashi's clothed lips. He held out his hand to Kakashi. "It was nice seeing you at a school fundraiser. You don't usually come to these sort of things."
Kakashi glanced coolly at the hand stretched out to him. Instead of shaking it, he merely turned to Sakura. "Don't keep your friend waiting too long, Miss Haruno."
With that, he gave her one last solemn look before walking away.
Bewildered by his cold demeanor, Sakura could only watch his broad back retreat down the path that took him to the teacher's parking lot.
"That guy still hates me, huh."
She blinked and looked to Professor Mizuki whose smile had subsided into pursed lips. "Professor Hatake? Isn't he a new instructor? Why would he hate you?"
"Well, yes, he's new but I've actually known Kakashi since we were kids," Professor Mizuki answered with a wry smile. "We were in the military together and—"
"Professor Hatake was in the military?" Sakura was confused. Kakashi had told her that he'd been joking about that.
"Yes, along with me," Professor Mizuki nodded as they strolled back to the pitched tents that the Botany club and volunteers were still dismantling. "We attended the same military academy together and, you see, it was against the rules to possess contraband like porn in our dormitories. But I caught Kakashi with his secret stash one day and—"
"Professor Hatake was caught with porn?!" Sakura squeaked out, wincing when she realized she'd just interrupted her teacher again.
Professor Mizuki only chuckled in good nature at her innocent reaction. "Hey, you gotta cut the guy some slack. Sure, he's a pervert but he was fifteen years old and full of testosterone. Surely you remember what it was like to be fifteen and hormonal?" Sakura's face reddened but she said nothing as Professor Mizuki continued. "The military academy is super strict with their rules and, well, I had to do the right thing that was expected of me," he sighed dolefully. "I reported Kakashi to our superior. It was just some porn stash, so I thought he wouldn't get into too much trouble over it. But then he tried to lie his way out of it and nearly got kicked out, so..." He shrugged but his face was crestfallen in disappointment. "I can understand why Kakashi still hates me to this day."
"Oh..."
That would explain the tension between the two men just earlier.
To be honest, she was glad it was Professor Mizuki whom Kakashi had been upset with—and not her.
Still, Sakura wasn't sure what to make of all that. While it wasn't so surprising to hear a teenage Kakashi was perverted enough to keep a stash of porn in his bunker, it was shocking to hear how he'd tried to lie to his superiors about it. But then again, he had lied to her about being in the military, so what did that mean? Was Kakashi really that kind of person?
Maybe... Maybe I don't know Professor Hatake as well as I thought...
"So!" Professor Mizuki clapped his hands for Sakura's attention, snapping her out of her depression. "About that volleyball team..."
She tried not to grimace as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Professor, but I'm not really interested in joining any sports team this time around. I just want to focus on my studies and figure out what I want to do."
Professor Mizuki's face fell again at her response, but he was quick to recover with a wink and a smile as he insisted that he could always use someone of her physical prowess and flexibility if she ever changed her mind.
Sakura doubted so, but she didn't tell him that as they finally parted ways.
When she found Ino, the girl was still clearing away the remaining cups of water and towels that littered the tables. Most of the participants had already left now, eager to shower off five kilometers worth of sweat. Now it was only the Botany club members left to clean up and finish packing away the tents and tables.
"You were looking for me?" Sakura asked as she swiped the last cup of water from the table.
Ino tipped a confused brow at her. "What? No, I could see you perfectly fine from here. By the way," she leaned over the table with a smirk, "how in the world did you get so lucky to be caught in a conversation with the two hottest teachers on campus? I thought you said you have bad luck with men."
Sakura nearly choked on her water. She briefly considered mentioning that she'd almost pissed herself in front of 'the two hottest teachers on campus' but Ino would've never let her live that down. "You gotta remember that they're only my professors."
"Mm, but at least you have something to hold your attention during your classes with them. Good thing you chose to sit at the very front of your Anatomy class. That way you've got the perfect view of Professor Hatake," Ino said with a waggle of her brows.
At that implication, Sakura had to bite back a grin. "He does have a nice ass to look at when he's writing on the board," she murmured against the rim of her cup.
"I told you!" Ino hissed triumphantly. "Nobody can resist a perfect bubble butt!"
Sakura giggled as she remembered how criminally good Kakashi looked in any kind of pants he wore. Sweatpants, jeans, dress pants—heck, even just a towel. He had the body of a model that would've belonged on the front cover of a Men's Health magazine. But Sakura's giggles soon died away as she remembered the hostile look he wore after the race. His handsome face had been marred by an icy gaze and an angry line between his brows as if he was a marble statue sculpted by a killer.
With a shudder, Sakura drained her cup, but the ice-cold water that filled her up only served as a reminder of the cold dread that had washed over her under Kakashi's wolf stare.
.
.
.
Huffing in frustration, she threw the book onto the coffee table and crossed her arms. The girl on the book's cover continued to stare over her shoulder at Sakura, her dark eyes appraising and even cheeky from Sakura's perspective.
"What's up?" Ino asked from the other end of the couch. She was usually gone from the apartment on Friday afternoons to spend the weekend with her parents, but Mrs. Yamanaka had wanted to grab a cup of tea with Mrs. Hyūga first before taking Ino home.
The girls had been spending their extra time together by doing their homework in the living room couch, but while Ino was almost done with her statistics homework, Sakura was nowhere close to finishing—or even starting—her English essay.
"I have to write an essay on the sexual symbolism of this short story," she explained, pinching her nose. "But I don't know where the sex even happens! The language is a bit too flowery for me to understand. Honestly, I'd rather read Emerson or Thoreau."
"Lemme see," Ino snatched the discarded book off the coffee table. A whole minute ticked by as she scanned the lines and perused each page. "You're looking for a sex scene?"
"Full-on bestiality sex," Sakura answered, trying not to dwell on the wet dreams she'd been having lately with the wolf from her own imagination.
"Hmm... 'His genitals, huge. Ah! Huge'," Ino giggled at the line. "Wow, this guy must be a beast in the sheets."
Sakura rolled her eyes at the pun. "I mean, he's a wolf so yeah, he's a big boy."
"You mean a huge boy," Ino snickered. "You know, the average erect penis length is about 5 inches long, but the world record for the largest erection is 13.5 inches."
"What?!"
Ino nodded, her face scrunching up to match Sakura's wince. "Some guys are more than five inches. I hear seven is the ideal size though. Not too big but not too small."
"So Sai's just right, Goldilocks?" Sakura smirked.
Reaching for her tea, Ino shrugged. "Actually, he's five inches. But five inches is enough for me, thank you very much. Seven is kinda pushing it. Anything more than seven? No thanks. Taking on a giant sounds painful, and I'd like to walk away with my cervix intact."
Sakura's hair curtained around her face as she glanced down to her hands folded over her stomach. The vivid memory of Kakashi's erection pressing heavy against her belly drew a deep blush from her. Just thinking about it now, she could practically feel the hot weight of him again. His sweatpants had hidden how many inches he was exactly, but just the sheer size and prominence of the tent had been more than enough to tell her of his impressive size.
"Wh-What if the giant is gentle?" she asked, nonchalantly twiddling her thumbs on her stomach. "And, um... is experienced?"
Ino's attention remained on the pages of the book, but her nose wrinkled in discomfort of the idea. "I dunno. Guess I'd have to take a test ride first, but I suppose it'd be better than getting fucked by a wolf. They knot you, you know. They lock their dicks in your pussy to help ensure impregnation."
"Why do you even know that?"
"It was Sai who told me, and you know how he likes learning random fun facts."
Sakura raised a brow at that before shaking her head. "Well, apparently, the heroine of this story loses her virginity to the wolf, and I have to write about the symbolism of that and how it connects to her red hood, but I don't even know where it mentions the sex."
"Okay..." Ino's eyes continued flitting side to side until she paused at a line. "Did you see the part where the girl starts taking all her clothes off and throws them into the fire for the wolf?"
"Yeah."
"Did you see the line where it mentions her nudity and how 'her small breasts gleamed as if the snow had invaded the room'?"
"Yes," Sakura scowled at her. "I know she has small boobs like me, thanks for pointing out the obvious."
Still reading, Ino hummed. "And did you read the part where 'The flames danced like dead souls on Walpurgisnacht and the old bones under the bed set up a terrible clattering but she did not pay them any heed'? Did you read this line?"
"Of course I read it."
"That's your sex scene."
"What?!" Sakura sat up straighter to glare at the book in Ino's hands.
Ino gave her a pointed look. "The wolf is fucking the girl on her grandma's bed."
"How do you know? It doesn't say that."
"That's what's implied here." Shoving the book back into Sakura's hands, Ino tapped a finger on a line found in the middle of the second to last page. "The wolf is fucking the girl so hard on the bed that the force of his thrusts is making her grandma's bones under the bed rattle... Wow, Professor Pervert is making you read this kinky stuff? Damn, I should've signed up for his class instead of Professor Ebisu's."
Still scrutinizing the line Ino had pointed out for her, Sakura shook her head. "I still don't see it. It just says that the grandma's bones are clattering under the bed. That's not a sex scene."
"Yes, it is. It's literally even described as 'a savage marriage ceremony' a few lines later."
"But there were no vows exchanged!" argued Sakura.
"Uh, I think the exchange of body fluids is more than enough," Ino retorted. "It even says that the wolves outside are howling a song in celebration of the marriage. That means the wolf and the girl are consummating on the bed. What more proof do you need for your sex scene?"
Sakura shook her head, still finding it hard to comprehend. Maybe everyone was just misinterpreting the reading and the author had only meant to sound poetic. "But the heroine of the story only just started menstruating."
"So?"
"It's just..." Sakura scratched her cheek. "It's just hard to imagine such a young girl... having sex with a fully grown man... or wolf... And then marrying him? I-I don't know, that sounds crazy, don't you think? What if everyone's just overthinking it? I mean, remember we used to joke in English class about how the red door is just a red door?" she laughed weakly. "And it doesn't seem logically possible for the wolf to be... err, thrusting into the girl so hard that the bones on the floor are rattling from the impact."
"We're talking about a wolf fucking a girl here. It's not supposed to be logical—it's supposed to be symbolic of actual predators in the real world taking sexual advantage of girls," Ino countered.
Sakura's frown deepened. "How is she being taken advantage of by the wolf when she's the one who started stripping her clothes off first? Professor Jiraiya said that by seducing the wolf, the heroine of this story recognizes the power of her own virginity and sexual awakening, and uses it to take control of her own fate. That's why her red hood is connected with the blood of menstruation, and the act of shedding the hood represents the loss of her virginity."
Or maybe even the blood the heroine will shed once she does lose her virginity, Sakura thought.
"Okay," Ino nodded slowly. "I can see how she's not exactly a victim here but remember that the girl is still very innocent and sheltered, and predators like to take advantage of that. Her innocence and virginity is a double-edged sword; it made her emphatic enough to seduce and marry the wolf instead of fighting him to the death, but that innocence is also what endangered her in the first place by making her too trusting of strangers."
"She may be a virgin, and she may be young and innocent," Sakura spoke slowly. "But she's also sexually mature, wouldn't you say?"
"How? Because she started menstruating?"
"Because she's ready to have sex!" Realizing she let slip her thoughts so carelessly, Sakura quickly grabbed her own mug of tea to hide her face behind. "I-I mean, yes, she's a virgin, but inexperience doesn't always mean immaturity either. The girl didn't seem afraid to take off her clothes for the wolf. If anything, she seemed eager to have sex with him. As if she wanted it. As if she wanted him," Sakura murmured. She crossed her legs and took a sip of her tea to calm the anxious thrum of her heart. "From an outsider's perspective, it looks like the heroine is sacrificing her virginity for her safety. But maybe from the heroine's perspective, it's not a sacrifice but a... a metamorphosis."
"A metamorphosis?"
Tapping a finger against her mug, Sakura struggled to articulate her thoughts. "When a girl is taken advantage of—sexually—it's against her will, right? But in this case, the heroine is willingly offering herself to the wolf. It's like Professor Jiraiya said: she's claiming her sexual desire and weaponizing it. If the wolf had consumed her, then he would have owned her body. But by giving into her carnal desires, the girl is able to take control of her fate—of their relationship. Her loss of virginity isn't a sacrifice but an enlightenment. An empowerment."
Sakura was rambling at this point but, since starting this discussion with Ino, she found herself suddenly far more invested in the story and its themes.
Ino was now grinning at her. "Hey, you're practically writing your essay as we speak! See? You didn't really need any help after all."
"I guess... but I still don't see how the bones clattering under the bed is the sex scene?"
Ino sighed in exasperation. "Forehead, you have to stop rationalizing everything. This is an English class—not a science or math class. Accept that this is the sex scene you're looking for. Accept that it's a consummation of their marriage—and honestly? The heroine is probably gonna be popping out a litter of his puppies later on."
Sakura's face reddened at the strange image that comment evoked and she quickly tossed the book back onto the coffee table. "I'm just not good at reading in between the lines. Especially when it comes to sexual stuff. If only subjective information wasn't so... subjective," she groaned out, slumping further down the couch.
"Just try to use your imagination when it comes to figurative language. And when it comes to double entendres, you gotta think with your pussy," Ino pointed down to her crotch, "and not with your brain."
That sounded like solid advice.
Now if only her pussy could first stop thinking about a certain Anatomy professor, then maybe she could focus better on the text.
But after dinner and a shower, Sakura had still not been able to clear all thoughts of Kakashi. Even when doing homework or studying, he always seemed to be lingering at the back of her mind like a shadow that pervaded even the most mundane thought that crossed her mind. Like when she'd scrubbed her body in the shower earlier, her fingers had drifted down to her clit even though she wasn't in the mood for a quick release. She'd absentmindedly stroked her clit, wondering if Kakashi was the kind of man who relieved himself in the shower or relied on a burst of icy water to kill his arousal. She had quickly resumed her shower upon remembering Ino once mention that Kakashi probably didn't need to masturbate if he could easily find a woman to warm his bed.
Sitting on bed now with her laptop, Sakura tried to erase the image of Kakashi masturbating in the shower by grabbing her copy of The Company of Wolves to focus on the task at hand. Music played softly from her laptop as she stared at the blank white page of a Word document. For a while, she mulled over the idea of just regurgitating whatever she remembered from Professor Jiraiya's lecture about the heroine's red hood symbolizing her hymen, menstruation, and virginity. But her regurgitation only took her so far as the introductory paragraph.
Great, now she had a thesis, but the problem was finding textual evidence.
'Think with your pussy and not with your brain' Ino's words echoed in her mind.
Biting her lip, Sakura relented and cracked open the book once more to give the reading another shot. Maybe she would have a better understanding of the text this time after listening to Ino's interpretation.
Laying back against the pillows, she reread the story from the beginning, starting with the narration of how wolves were ruthless, formidable predators with the most dangerous ones being more than what they seemed. She read through the heroine taking a basket of food to her ill grandmother with only a knife for defense against the predators of the forest. She read past the description of the heroine having just begun her menstruation, and then skimmed the part where the girl and a strange man make a bet to race to the grandma's house with a kiss as the prize. She pored over the scene where the strange man, revealed as the wolf, threatens to gobble up the heroine after he kills her grandmother, and then paused at the part where the heroine strips herself naked for the wolf.
The line where 'her small breasts gleamed as if the snow had invaded the room' made Sakura pause and peek down at the small mounds of her breasts that could be seen just past the neckline of her night slip.
"So what if my breasts are small like hers?" she muttered under her breath. With a pout, she returned to the story.
Looking at it now, it was still an allegory intended to warn readers not to trust mysterious men who disguised their cunning behind kind smiles. The takeaway was that these men were beasts in sheep's clothing, and their true nature was that of a predator who preyed on the innocent, raping naïve girls to sate their taste for virgin blood.
Despite this lesson drilled into every child, Sakura couldn't help but wonder if there were exceptions to be made. As she laid on her pillows, she glanced to her window where the darkness of night had just fallen. Her mind wandered back to that night when she'd first met Kakashi. Funny how she'd mistook him for a thug just because he was a stranger dressed in a black jacket with gloves, but Sakura could not imagine Kakashi was anything like the strangers whom parents and fables warned of.
He was a dangerous man, she knew that from the very beginning, deep in the marrow of her bones... But he was not dangerous to her.
Which then begged the question: when is a beast a beast?
The question burrowed itself into the depths of her mind, but it was of no pressing matter.
Yawning, Sakura continued to read the part in the book where Ino had mentioned that the wolf and the girl were having such wild, rough sex that it set the grandma's bones rattling under the bed. It was still difficult to picture that because it just didn't seem logical, but she also understood that fiction sometimes required the suspension of disbelief. And the more Sakura imagined the wolf and the girl in the middle of their animalistic ritual, the more Sakura's mind painted a picture of herself on the bed with the silver-eyed wolf from her dreams.
The image of herself on hands and knees with her wolf taking her eagerly from behind began to take on color and sound, painting her skin with an erotic blush, and her discarded satin slip pooled between her legs like blood. She tried to blink the fantasy away, but it was too late. The thought had taken root in her mind, so graphic like an afterimage that had burned into her retinas. She could almost hear the fantasy version of herself moaning from the wolf's intense thrusts, complete with possessive growls and the squeak of the bed springs protesting beneath them.
'They knot you, you know. They lock their dicks in your pussy to help ensure impregnation.'
Oh god, she did not need to imagine—ah shit, too late.
With a blush, Sakura rubbed her eyes and the image away before forcing her eyes back on the book to fly through the rest of the reading. After the last line, she blew out a frustrated sigh upon realizing that her little fantasy had made her lose focus on the last page. Fine then. As punishment, she would reread the entire story from the beginning but make sure to pay full attention only to the story in her hands and not to... another wolf of another story.
Yawning again, she skimmed her eyes back to the very first line of the first page.
'One beast and only one howls in the woods by night. The wolf is carnivore incarnate and he's as cunning as he is ferocious; once he's had a taste of flesh then nothing else will do.'
Taffy Drive was a quaint little street lined with one-story houses that had the fortune of never experiencing any burglaries or break-ins. During the day, the happy squeals and giggles of children playing in front yards filled up the neighborhood. Once the residents turned in for the night, however, the street fell so silent that not even the last of the summer cicadas dared to break the peaceful quietude.
All of that changed at the stroke of midnight when the low growl of a white motorcycle announced itself at the far end of the street. It prowled down the road, its dark rider steering it leisurely before stopping in front of one of the quaint white houses topped with a cerulean roof. Potted petunias lined the sills of the two front windows with only the left window revealing the faint glow of a light within the house.
Behind the visor of his helmet, Kakashi observed the small light in that window as his motorcycle continued to purr quietly beneath him. The purring stopped when he switched off the engine and tucked the keys into his leather jacket. Lifting his helmet and setting it aside, he swung a leg off the seat, his boots crunching against some dried leaves scattered from their pile by the curb.
A set of cobblestone stairs stretched between him and the house, but Kakashi swept his gaze around the empty streets first before taking that first step. His boots thumped heavily until he stepped onto the wooden frame of the porch.
He glanced at the lone rocking chair that sat in a corner, the white cushion coated in a taupe shade of dust. It was the only telltale sign that this little abode wasn't as humble as the rest on this street.
The leather of his gloves creaked as he raised a fist and knocked on the blue door. For a moment, a terse silence was his only answer before the low thud of footsteps followed after. The door swung open and Mizuki, still in his jogging clothes from this morning's marathon, blinked at him. He recovered quickly and leaned an arm against the threshold of the door, his dark green eyes briefly flitting down to Kakashi's gloved hands that were tucked into his jeans.
"Kakashi!" He flashed a disarming smile. "What a pleasant surprise! How did you find—"
"You know why I'm here, Mizuki."
Mizuki's smile remained frozen in place as he contemplated Kakashi's sober look, fingers thrumming lightly against the door frame. Slowly, he peeled away from the threshold and tipped his head towards the living room just beyond his shoulder. "Of course. Come on in!"
Kakashi followed him, nudging the door shut with the heel of his boot. Reaching back, he turned the deadbolt with a resounding 'ker-chunk!' as Mizuki skirted in between the couch and a coffee table to mute the basketball game playing on the TV.
The reticent silence of the house immediately fell back in place.
Mizuki tossed the remote onto the couch and watched Kakashi take a look around the place. There were no pictures hanging on the walls, nor a pair of heels by the door, or a second plate on the dinner table—not even a hint of perfume in the air. There were only the barest necessities scattered carelessly.
A quaint little house like this one deserved more than just a shelf of DVDs and a laptop on the coffee table. A house like this one was meant for a small family of three—not one.
It was ironic how such an abode that appeared welcoming and homely on the outside was just cold and hollow on the inside. But, much like the owner, appearances could be deceiving.
Feeling the oppressive silence between them, Mizuki sat against the back of the couch and jerked a thumb over to the kitchen just past him. "You want a beer? It's been a while since we knocked some back together."
Kakashi leveled his stare with Mizuki. "Cut the bullshit. You know what I want."
Hanging his head down, Mizuki sucked at his teeth in quiet contemplation. When he raised his face back to Kakashi, his smile had twisted into a smirk. "Of course I do," he chuckled lightly, reaching into a back pocket to pull out his phone. "I know exactly who you want."
His fingers briefly flew across the screen and then he tapped once to open something.
When he flipped the phone around, Kakashi leaned in to study the image of Sakura on her hands and knees just as she had been this morning. With her hips raised high and her back arched low as she reached for the water bottle under the table, the perfect peach shape of her ass was definitely the main focus of the picture.
For any man with a dick, the image was certainly sexually provocative in nature. It could easily evoke the fantasy of rutting this girl like she was a bitch in heat. The way her thin running shorts rode dangerously high on her shapely thighs—just barely covering the cheeks of her ass—did not help either, and Kakashi was loathed to admit that it stirred salacious thoughts in the recesses of his own mind.
It was clear that Sakura had only meant to bend down in this position to retrieve her professor's fallen water bottle. Little did she know that her position was the same kind of position girls got into when they were about to get fucked doggy-style.
"So?" Mizuki grinned, wagging the phone in front of him. "Did you want just this photo or the whole album?"
A/N: DUN DUN DUNNNN!
Tumblr: tcookies777
Twitter: Rey_OrganaSolo
AO3: TCOOKIES777
