Disclaimer: It's probably obvious, but I don't own any of the HSM characters or their related elements.
Author's Note: All right, every one. This is a VERY IMPORTANT REMINDER that this fic is RATED M. Which means, as usual, that this story is not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16, with possible strong but non-explicit adult themes, references to violence, and strong coarse language.
Yes. I hate to give it all up like this, but the adult content is back for a bit. And I don't mean to treat you all like children, but I don't want anyone getting any nasty surprises when they read this chapter, since the rest of it has been relatively adult-content-free.
So be warned—read on at your own risk!
Written July 11, 2006
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Chapter 14 - The String of Loose Ends
PART II
He'd asked me to put my knees down so we could hug. But I froze for a second before bending them down and away.
A strange look crossed his face, and he put his hand on my leg gently. "You okay?"
His hand sparked off a shock, a light cramp in my muscles. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He looked at me doubtfully, lifting his hand off. "You didn't look fine just now."
I didn't know how to say that I didn't want to touch him. "I'm okay," I said, knowing it sounded like a lie.
He was starting to sound exasperated. "Seriously, don't do that. I know something's up. So don't pretend like there isn't." He frowned. "Look. We've got to talk when things come up. You saw what happened to us if we don't. And there can't be any more running away." Folding his arms, he looked at me. "So… I'm just going to stay here until you let me know what the problem is. And then, maybe we can figure out what to do."
He stared at me tightly, and I knew he was right. I pulled my knees up, trying to make myself small, and took a deep breath.
"Well…" I said. "You know I'm happy to be with you again. It was awful being apart. But… all this stuff has happened now. And… you haven't touched me in a long time."
"So…"
"So…" I looked away, feeling weird about saying this. "It just feels like our relationship has changed a little, you know? And we can't just step back in exactly like it used to be. I guess I'm not sure… how to be close to you anymore. It all just feels like… a shock… when you touch me."
"Oh."
I felt him stiffen slightly, and there was a pause. I hugged my knees to my chest tightly, feeling like an idiot.
"It kind of feels like it does when you lick a nine-volt battery," I blurted out suddenly.
He let out a short laugh. "Great." Then he rubbed the back of his neck again, letting out a breath.
"Well… okay," he said finally. "I guess… I can see what you're saying. But… I don't see how you flinching constantly away from me is going to fix this."
"No," I said guiltily. "No, I know. And I do want to be close to you. I just… it's weird. I'm sorry. Maybe it's just all happening too fast. I'm freaking out a little."
"Okay." I heard him breathe in heavily. "Well… maybe we could try something. Really slow. So you know it's coming, and you can just kind of get used to the feeling when it happens." He looked over at me. "You want to try a hug?"
Something in me cringed, but I nodded anyway. "Yeah. Okay."
He put out his arms stiffly, and I felt strangely frightened and vulnerable as I moved forward into them. But as he held me longer, the jerking tension in my body seemed to fade. Feeling more comfortable, I snuggled my head into his shoulder, tightening my arms around his neck. I felt him put his head on my shoulder and squeeze me to him gently.
"So," he whispered into my ear after a while. "You're doing okay?"
"Yeah," I whispered back. "I'm doing great."
"Okay," he said, starting to stroke my back. "How's this?"
A thrill echoed softly through me. "Good," I said.
"Good," he said, still stroking. "So… you want to try something else?"
"Sure."
"Well… whenever you're ready."
I nodded into his shoulder. And slowly, I felt him shift me so I sat in his lap, my knees bent to one side like a bride carried over a threshold. His arms were still around me, but my head was off his shoulder now. Our faces were so close I could feel his breath on my cheek.
"Don't freak out at this," he whispered. "But I'm going to kiss you."
I nodded numbly, feeling my heart start to race. And then looking at me carefully, he put his lips to mine.
And this kiss was different from the one on the steps, this time gentle and loving and completely unhurried. And as I felt my body relax in his arms, I began to kiss back. I could feel something stir within me as his body pressed close to mine.
And as we kept going, I felt his tongue move softly into my mouth, and another thrill raced through me, more intense. I found myself kissing back more, my tongue gently moving to touch his, and his hand started to move tentatively, sliding up and down over my side.
When we finally broke free, he was breathing hard, his eyes bright. "Is this too fast?" he asked.
I shook my head, hypnotized by our closeness. "It's… just right."
"Okay," he said haltingly. "Then… I'm going to try something else."
And I caught my breath as his lips touched my neck, moving softly and slowly down to my shoulder. His arms wrapped around my lower back, gently pulling me as close as we could go. My hand slid over to hold his head closer to me, and I trembled slightly as he kissed along my collarbone. Then without thinking, I moved my leg over to straddle him, to press his chest against mine tight.
And I felt him breathe in sharply as our hips suddenly touched, his eyes turning soft as he looked up at me. Silently, he seemed to be asking, Should we go on? And as I looked at him there, so concerned, so handsome in his shirt and tie, I couldn't think how I was afraid to touch him before. Leaning down, I nodded yes, curling my fingers into his hair as I kissed him again.
And then slowly, he pulled me tight to him, his mouth moving to the open skin at the neckline of my dress. He kissed softly between my breasts, then nudged the edge of the neckline aside and put his mouth on my bare nipple. I moaned as he traced it with his tongue, and as he bit down softly with his teeth. And I gasped as I felt his hands slip under my dress, sliding up over my thighs to edge under the thin fabric of my panties.
Then his head lifted to kiss me as his fingers slid within me, plunging inside, then out, over and over again. And as my kiss grew more desperate, the pleasure reaching its peak, he pulled out completely, wrapping his arms around my waist to lift me up off the couch.
And then he had me on the bed, kissing me hungrily as he unzipped my dress, slid off my panties, as I pulled off his pants and shirt and everything. And then he reached for a condom from the bedside table, and pulled me on top of him. And sitting on his hips, I closed my eyes, feeling a rising pleasure as I took him further and further in. And when he was finally all the way there, I sat frozen for a moment, almost unable to believe how deep he was.
And then I whimpered as he started to move, each slow thrust driving him in deeper and deeper. And he groaned as my hips started to move with his rhythm, as if helpless against the mounting ecstasy inside. I leaned forward to cling to his shoulders as his thrusts came faster, my breath coming in tense, relentless gasps. And I cried out against his neck as I came in a shuddering burst, trembling uncontrollably. He let out a cry as he thrust hard one last time, his arms wrapping around me tight as we finally lay there together, still.
And we breathed there together for a minute, exhausted, the last barrier in this fight between us finally in shreds. And I felt almost like crying, knowing how scared I had been, and how he had taken the roadblocks down. And as he kissed my shoulder gently, I knew then that I loved him beyond all things. He knew me by heart, knew how to bring me back, knew just how to make everything safe and good again.
Then I felt him kiss me softly on the forehead, and I lifted up as he moved to slide out of me. And as I snuggled into his side, I heard him sigh.
"That felt like a little more than nine volts, Montez," he said.
I laughed. "Probably."
Then lifting my head, I moved up to kiss him one last time. "I love you, Troy," I whispered.
He held me close, kissing me again. "I love you too."
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Author's Note: Well… lemony, I told you! You could definitely see why that couldn't be one giant chapter though. And man, it really took me forever to write this one, to get everything sounding just right. Anyway, I hope it, uh, satisfied. I know it was kind of long, but well… there hasn't been any action for the whole story, so I guess I just let it run wild :) Now, let's talk reviews: just 12 for the last chapter, although each was of course sincerely appreciated. But I'm going to pretend it's because you were all waiting for this one, so go ahead… send me one now! And remember, there's just one more chapter left before we'll have to part….
