The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 21: Office Hours
Contrary to most people's opinions, Sakura always thought Monday was the best day of the week. Monday mornings, especially, were the mark of a new day and the beginning of a new week of opportunities.
Sadly, it was the opposite for Ino. The young Yamanaka hated Monday mornings as much as Sakura loved them, so it was no surprise that Ino greeted Sakura in the kitchen with a scowl even as her friend greeted her with a mug of fresh coffee to start the day.
Cerulean eyes were still bleary with drowsiness as Ino shuffled to the fridge in her crumpled pajamas and frowned at Sakura's outfit for the day. It was a simple baby blue romper with daisies printed all over, and Sakura tried not to feel self-conscious as she swiveled on her heel to put her mug away, feeling the thin mesh of the skirt swish dangerously high around her thighs. Although she'd bought it months ago, they both knew that it wasn't her usual attire for school.
From the corner of her eye, Ino opened her mouth and Sakura braced for her friend to interrogate her as to why she was dressed particularly cute on a Monday freaking morning of all days.
"Are you wearing a push up bra?"
Sakura blinked and slowly turned back to Ino who was squinting at her chest. "What?"
Ino gave her a grumpy 'duh' look and gestured to the subtle swell of Sakura's breasts. "Why are you wearing a push up bra on a Monday?"
Her chin dipped as Sakura followed Ino's gaze to her non-existent cleavage. Since her breasts were so small, there honestly wasn't much for the bra to push up, but she'd chosen to wear it today because she wanted to look sexy. For her professor. Well, okay, the push up bra hardly made a difference, and she knew Kakashi likely wouldn't notice, but the point was that it at least made her feel sexy—and confident.
And damn it, she just wanted to wear a push up bra today, okay?!
"I forgot to laundry my other bras," Sakura mumbled, turning around once more so that Ino wouldn't notice that she'd even curled the ends of her hair today (after 'borrowing' Ino's hair curler).
Still half-asleep, Ino shrugged and wandered over to the bathroom to make herself look alive for today. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief, but she couldn't ignore the sliver of guilt that twisted in her gut. Since they were little girls, they'd always divulged in each other's secrets, especially when it came to their crushes on boys. But admitting a crush on a boy from class was completely different than admitting a crush on your own professor, and Sakura wasn't sure how Ino would react if she were to discover that Sakura's crush on Kakashi wasn't just a phase but something... different.
Deciding it'd be best for Ino to remain sleepy for the morning, Sakura put away the rest of the coffee and acted as casual as possible as they walked to school. While she remained busy fretting over the curly tips of her hair, Ino trudged at her side as if a storm cloud hung above. The Yamanaka was worried, and Sakura could guess why, but she really didn't want to spoil today when the day had just started.
Of course, Ino was the type of person who always had to speak her mind even when it wasn't the right moment. As they waited for the pedestrian light at a street corner, she turned to Sakura with that same frown she'd given her when she noticed her attire.
Tapping her foot impatiently for the light, Sakura relented with a sigh and met Ino's scowl. "What?"
Ino's scowl softened with concern and she didn't budge when the light gave them the okay to cross. "Are you sure you want to go to school today? With what happened with Mizuki, I'm sure your teachers would understand if you miss one day of class."
Sakura went on ahead, crossing the street at a leisurely pace and forcing Ino to follow after her. "It's fine," she answered once Ino caught up to her.
"But you were his student! There's no telling if he touched you or—" Ino nearly tripped over her feet when Sakura abruptly halted in front of her.
"He didn't." Peering over her shoulder, Sakura smiled assuringly at Ino and took her hand to squeeze it. Ino's mouth flapped open but Sakura was already shaking her head. "I don't know how to explain it, but I just have this feeling that he never got the chance to get that far with me."
There was no actual proof that she could show Ino to back up her claims. It was just Kakashi's word, but she trusted him. And if the time ever came, then she would trust him with her life too.
Seeing her friend smile with such confidence, Ino had no choice but to drop the matter. With a slow nod, she squeezed back Sakura's hand.
"So did your dad tell you what's going to happen with Mizuki?" Sakura asked as they continued to school. Ino held onto her hand, their arms swinging gently between them as they often did when they were little girls walking to school together and holding hands to make sure neither girl got lost or kidnapped. "He's been arrested, but how soon will his trial take place?"
Ino kicked at a stray pebble before replying with a shrug. "He's been too busy with work to say much, but Mizuki will be taken to trial pretty soon since he's been charged with multiple felonies. Dad says he might go for a not-guilty plea."
"Not guilty?" Sakura's lip curled at that. "If the police found him in possession of child pornography and sex tapes of his students getting raped, then he's clearly guilty!"
Ino nodded, her lips pursed hard as if she was just as infuriated if not more. "Yeah, that's what I thought too, but Dad says the justice system is more complicated than that. Mizuki could say that the girls came onto him, especially since none of the girls in the tapes seemed to be fighting back or showed any sign that it was against their will. Dad says all of the girls were fully conscious during the assault, and they weren't slurring either, so drug abuse could be hard to prove too."
"But that's not fair," Sakura mumbled, gripping the straps of her backpack tighter with barely restrained anger. She had thought that the trial would fly by without a hitch and Mizuki would be thrown into jail—hopefully with a life sentence. Knowing that there was a possibility Mizuki could get away with just a slap on the wrist drew a shiver from her and she quickened her pace just a bit. "Couldn't they just have the victims speak up? Let the girls explain that they didn't want it, or that he tricked them or something?"
As they neared the border of the campus, other students started to cluster around them as they all made their way to the main entrance. A chorus of voices grew louder as all the students seemed to be discussing the same thing, spreading the news about Mizuki like a wildfire.
Ino surveyed their surroundings before taking Sakura by the arm to drag her to the edge of the traffic flow. "Dad said the situation is more complicated than it looks although the FBI does have some solid evidence to make sure Mizuki is put away for some time. I know there are some things Dad's not telling me," she frowned, "but I just don't know what. He's been really stressed out these days though..."
Stopping at the main courtyard's fountain where they usually split up to go to their own classes, Sakura patted Ino's hand assuringly before releasing her. "Well, the worst is over now. What matters is that Mizuki's been caught and we're safe."
Ino gave her an uncertain look. "Are we?"
Caught off guard by Ino's unusual pessimism, Sakura was unable to respond. The rest of the student traffic caught up with them and they were soon swept apart, leaving Sakura to head to the science building with Ino's words echoing in her mind like a warning. A ball of fear sat heavy in her stomach like a stone by the time she found her desk. It wasn't often that Mr. Yamanaka discussed work with his family, but this was an exception and for good reason. If he told Ino some details about Mizuki's case then that likely meant he wanted Ino to be careful from now on. But be careful of what? With Mizuki arrested, it wasn't like he could just return to school and resume his criminal life. Even if he miraculously earned bail and his teaching position, the police would be monitoring him from then on. Everybody would.
So what else was there to worry about? Still, Ino's uncertainty was infectious, and Sakura could not ignore the anxiety now constricting in her chest. All her worries, however, were soon wiped away the moment Kakashi stepped into the classroom. Mizuki was already a mere afterthought fading from her mind as Sakura sat straighter in her chair and quickly smoothed back any frizz leftover from her curled locks of hair.
Grey eyes instantly zeroed in on her and Sakura felt herself smiling in relief at the sight of him. The dark circles under his eyes were gone now, and his gaze was bright and keen as his eyes lingered on her for a moment longer before Kakashi deposited his bag and books on his desk. A wave of groans passed through the classroom as he withdrew a thick stack of papers—their scored exams and essays—and set them on the lectern.
"Normally, I would say 'good morning'," Kakashi began, tapping the paper stack atop the lectern's surface. Each resounding 'thud' of the stack seemed to prompt a wince from everyone in the room. Everyone except Sakura who remained beaming at her professor as if today was the best day of her life. "But I'm quite sad to say that no one got a 100 on the exam."
The smile dropped from her face. Say what?!
Her pen started bouncing harder against her notebook as panic surged through Sakura. She normally hated to get anything less than an A; her parents had always instilled in her the drive to be the top of her class. They were not rich like the Hyuga family, and their family name was not as prestigious as the Uzumakis or Yamanakas, but the least Sakura could do for her parents was excel in academics. This time, however, her reason for getting an A was different. Her teacher was different, and he was the very last person she wanted to disappoint—more so than her own parents.
Her heart nearly burst out of her chest when Kakashi placed her exam and essay papers face down on her desk before moving onto Mei sitting behind. She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them into slits so that she could take a quick peek at her scores. Rip the band-aid off and get it over with.
Some pressure lifted from her chest at the sight of the checkmark on her essay. Okay, she got a full score on that one. Now time for the exam...
She heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing the A scribbled in red at the top of her exam, but then frowned at the half-point deduction sitting next to the letter grade. A 99.5? Well, at least she did better than everyone else in class, judging by the pained groans that piped in one by one behind her. She would prefer a perfect score, but a pleased smile still made its way across Sakura's face as Kakashi returned to the front of the class.
"Miss Haruno," he suddenly said, prompting Sakura to sit to attention. Glancing up from the remaining papers of some absentee students, Kakashi contemplated her for a second. It was just a second, but the way he looked at her made Sakura feel as if she was the only student sitting before him. As if sharing the same thought, Kakashi blinked and cleared his throat. "I'd like to speak to you after class."
He wanted to speak with her? Her heart soared at that part, but then she paused at the second half. They normally spent their time between lecture and lab chatting away at their pavilion at the back of the building (although she did most of the talking). Why would he need to speak with her in the classroom?
For the rest of the class, Sakura took notes while gnawing the tip of her pen in worry of what Kakashi needed to tell her. Maybe he was disappointed that she didn't get a perfect score after all? Anxiety started to clog up the back of her throat and Sakura bit her pen harder as she glared at the 99.5 marked next to her A, finding it a huge eyesore.
By the time class ended, she'd figured out how to earn the missing half-point and patiently waited for the rest of the class to file out. As soon as the room was empty, she grabbed her backpack and kept her chin high as she marched to the front where Kakashi still sat with his hands folded on the desk, already waiting for her to approach him.
"You wished to speak with me, Professor Hatake?" Sakura asked, the papers in her hand crinkling in her grip as she frantically thought how to approach him about the half-point. "Am I in trouble?"
Kakashi's eyes fell from her face, landing on the papers tucked against her chest. Suddenly, she felt as if he was looking right through the papers and at her as he took his time dragging his eyes down the length of her body. A light shiver ran through her and Sakura instinctively pressed her thighs together as grey eyes skimmed past the trimmed hem of her skirt, down her legs (she silently praised herself for shaving her legs this morning), and then stopped at the little toes that peeked out from her sandals. She tried not to cringe at the chipped mint polish decorating her toes.
"Are you going out later after school?"
She blinked at the sudden question, not quite sure she'd heard him right until those gentle eyes lifted back to her face. "U-Um, no?"
Sitting forward in his chair, Kakashi cleared his throat and started to sift through the few papers in his hand aimlessly. "You look nice today."
"I look... nice?" She tucked back a curled lock behind an ear to peer down at herself. Realizing what he'd just told her, her face bloomed red even as she felt a shy smile tug at her lips. Is this his way of calling me beautiful again? "Well, I just thought that I wanted to dress up for today. For class."
For you.
His chest swelled as Kakashi drew in a deep breath. "I like it," he said, nodding at the papers in his hand as if he'd just given his approval for her classwork.
Sakura's lips curled further and she tugged at the delicate hem of her skirt to catch Kakashi's attention once more. "Then... I'm not in trouble for wearing such a short skirt?"
Her skirt was certainly too short to pass the dress code had she been in high school, but this was college now. There was no faculty around to enforce the code and send her home for exposing too much breast or leg... or even some cheeky ass. And now that she realized this, the more she was tempted to show more skin.
Kakashi clamped a hand across the back of his neck, his eyes flitting up and down as if he couldn't decide between looking at her or the papers now crinkling in his hand. Biting her lip, she raised her skirt just an inch higher for him and she swore his throat bobbed sharply as he stared at the thighs bared before him. "No, of course you're not in trouble," he rasped out before clearing his throat again. He raised the papers higher as if attempting to block out the sight of her thighs from his view. "I just... I wanted to, uh..."
"You wanted to do what with me, Professor?"
His fingers pinched the papers tighter, creasing the edges even more. Unable to see his expression, Sakura waited patiently for him to find his voice.
"I-I wanted to let you know that I have some business to attend to in my office today," Kakashi said in a rush of breath. That wasn't the answer Sakura had been expecting, and the skirt loosened from her grip in befuddlement. "Many students will want to ask questions about their exams, so I won't be able to sit with you at our pavilion," he explained. "It's just for today."
Wait, did he want to let me know just for that? Just so that I wouldn't worry?
The smile returned to her face and Sakura reached over to hook a finger onto the stack of papers that hid Kakashi's face. Slowly, she nudged the papers down to smile at those grey eyes so bright with emotions she couldn't even begin to decipher.
"I understand, Professor Hatake," she murmured to him while he studied the saccharine curl of her lips. "Thank you for letting me know."
And with that, she straightened up, tucked back her loose curls again, and turned to leave, her skirt swishing daintily with the sway of her hips. This time, she didn't need to glance back to know that Kakashi was staring after her.
.
.
.
The hallways were already crammed with students as she navigated her way past the other classrooms to reach the first floor of the science building. Through the glass panes of one of the tutor rooms, she could make out some of her classmates loitering around the tables to examine the muscles of an anatomical model.
At this rate, I might be able to work as a tutor for Anatomy next semester, Sakura thought as she glimpsed one of the senior students gesticulating with a femur and a humerus in both hands. Although her parents had never once asked for financial help, Sakura wondered if she could make a difference in donating some of her own savings to them. Years of hard work and part-time gigs in high school left her just comfortable enough to breeze by college without having to worry too much about pulling out any loans, but maybe if she gave up all her savings to help her parents...
Mama and Papa would probably refuse the money and tell me not to worry though...
Still, it wouldn't hurt to try, right? She had almost a hundred thousand ryo in savings which, under normal circumstances, would've made her a pretty rich college student. But Sakura knew her circumstances were far from normal, and she knew even her entire savings might not be enough to help her parents out.
She gripped her textbook and exam papers tighter in the crook of her arm as she made her way to the bathroom. But Mama and Papa have been working so hard all these years for my sake. They have to be close to their goal by now.
But then why haven't they responded to any of your e-mails and phone calls for the past year? a voice nagged at the back of her mind.
Desperate to escape that voice, Sakura weaved through the remaining students lingering in the halls and hurried into the bathroom. She turned the knob of one of the sinks and watched the faucet spit out a stream of water. The gentle hush of the running water filled the bathroom but she peered at the reflection in the mirror.
Large green eyes blinked back at her before falling down to the small but pouty lips tinted with cherry lip gloss. She raised a hand and tugged at a curl hanging by her chin. She had a sweetheart face, but her jawline was still soft with the remnants of baby fat that even the last few years of puberty hadn't yet wiped away. Her hand fell down to the sink's edge as she scrutinized her appearance, hoping she looked as beautiful as she felt.
"That pink-haired girl who sits at the front row?" a male voice echoed from somewhere else, startling Sakura.
"Yeah, I think her name was Sakura, right?" Another boy replied with his voice bouncing across the walls. She looked around for the source but quickly realized that the voices were coming from the boy's bathroom just across. The acoustics had their voices resounding loud and clear so that she could hear them perfectly well from the other side. "She's pretty cute, don't you think?"
Her mouth quirked at that. Damn right I am!
"She's got a pretty face, but she's pretty flat-chested too."
Sakura watched her mouth drop open in the mirror. What the fuck did they just say?!
"Hm, true. She's a bit too slim for my taste. And her pink hair is... exotic."
She had half a mind to barge into the boy's bathroom and slap some sense into those idiots. It was one thing to call her flat-chested, but her hair?! What the fuck was wrong with her hair?!
"Mei Tanaka's got a pretty hot bod though. And did you notice that black lace bra she was wearing today? You could practically see it through that thin blouse!"
"Shit, really? You should've taken a picture for me!"
"Nah, Professor Hatake would've killed me! I swear, the guy's got eyes at the back of his head!"
Jaw clenched tight, Sakura shoved her hands under the faucet to wash them. It wasn't her fault that she had a flat chest, but she knew it wasn't Mei's fault for having a bigger chest either. Women come in different shapes and sizes, she reminded herself. But you're not even a woman, her more insecure self spoke up in the recesses of her mind. You're just a girl trying to play dress-up.
She grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser, but her gaze slipped down to the low-cut neckline of her romper. Her breasts were too small to fill it out as well as the model did, and Sakura's mouth tipped down as she looked at herself in the mirror once more. If Kakashi did not see her as a child, then why did she? Why couldn't she stop seeing that little girl clutching her teddy bear and sobbing for her parents to come back?
She wasn't that little girl anymore... was she?
The sharp clicking of heels on the polished floor snapped Sakura out of her thoughts. She spun around just as a woman strutted into the bathroom, her dark waves bouncing around strong cheekbones with every graceful step. She was familiar, and it took Sakura a moment to recognize Hinata's and Ino's psychology instructor, Professor Kurenai.
"H-Hello," Sakura greeted her rather meekly, still awed by the confidence and grace the older woman exuded.
"Good afternoon," Professor Kurenai smiled politely at her before proceeding to a sink a respectful distance from Sakura's. She paused and gave Sakura a once-over, her brow twitching thoughtfully at what she saw. "Wait, you're Kakashi's student, right? He told me about you," she added when Sakura remained stunned into silence.
He's... talked with his colleagues about me? Sakura returned to the sink and pretended to fix her hair to make herself appear occupied. "Really? What did he say?" she asked nonchalantly even as her heart did somersaults within.
Professor Kurenai tilted her head at her, eyes roaming up and down in appraisal. "He said that you're a hardworking student with a lot of potential." She rummaged through the makeup bag she'd set on the sink edge and then pulled out a brand-name lipstick that could pay for a college textbook. Leaning in, she gently swiped the red lipstick against her lips before eyeing Sakura in the mirror. "Did you just finish his class? How was it?"
"It was good," Sakura said, mimicking the woman's position before the mirror to check that her lip gloss hadn't smudged around her mouth. "Professor Hatake is a great teacher."
"Professor Hatake." The psychology instructor chuckled softly with a shake of her head. "I'm still not used to hearing that. He was always more of a lone wolf who hated being team leader, so it's still surprising to see that he's teaching a class of students now."
A lone wolf? Sakura stared at the woman beside her. She was definitely around Kakashi's age, and Sakura remembered her hanging by Kakashi's side at the school cafeteria before. They'd seemed a bit too intimate to be just coworkers, but Professor Kurenai was already married to Professor Asuma, so it wasn't like she had that sort of relationship with Kakashi. "Did you know Professor Hatake? Before he became a teacher?"
Before he joined the military, she wanted to add but decided against it as she felt that was too personal.
Pressing her lips together to blur the lipstick, Professor Kurenai nodded. "Oh yes, I've known Kakashi since I was a little girl. Even had a crush on him—as all the other girls did."
Something in her chest tightened at that and Sakura frowned at her reflection, distraught by the idea that she was one of those 'girls'. "What was Professor Hatake like when he was my age?" she couldn't help but ask, imagining a 17-year-old Kakashi standing right behind her like a fellow classmate or a boy next door she would crush on.
"Kakashi?" Red lips stretched into a reminiscent smile as Professor Kurenai mulled over the question. She peered down at one of her hands, and Sakura thought she was admiring her manicure until she noticed a jagged scar across the back of the woman's hand. Finally, Professor Kurenai ripped her focus away from the scar to grant Sakura her full attention. "Kakashi was the kind of bad boy who smoked cigarettes on street corners to watch pretty girls walk by in their short skirts and tight tops," she answered, red lips tilting into a soft smirk as Sakura's brows rose up.
Suddenly, Sakura was thrown into the fantasy of a younger Kakashi dressed in a ragged black shirt and dark jeans as he leaned against a lamppost, puffing away at one of those cancer sticks she'd only ever seen older people carry around. It would be a late afternoon, girls would be scurrying home before their parents threw a fit over their safety, and Kakashi would let his eyes linger on the skirts flouncing by him. Seeing a cute boy shamelessly ogle them, the girls would probably toss him a furtive look over their shoulders before giggling to each other once he responded with a slow, lazy smirk barely hidden behind a curl of smoke.
Sakura looked down at her outfit, feeling like a fish out of water. No, she'd simply been born in the wrong generation.
"He was also the cool kid whom everybody admired for knowing how to make a woman blush with so much as a glance," Professor Kurenai continued, chuckling in amusement. "He was a pervert, and a miscreant—and surprisingly a bookworm—but, most of all, he was a good kid."
"A good kid? How so?" Sakura took a step forward, eager to know more about the professor whose past still remained enshrouded in mystery save for the meager answers he'd given her. She was starved for more, and it didn't help that Kakashi usually only fed her answers on a need-to-know basis. He wasn't an open book, and Sakura couldn't blame him for that, but neither could she be blamed for her natural curiosity.
Tell me everything, she wanted to ask him, knowing that he would answer with nothing.
"He looked after those who were abandoned by the war, especially the strays," Professor Kurenai replied with a slow nod. "He was the neighborhood knight in shining armor. He was the kind of boy all the girls would turn to when they needed a guy to escort them home late at night. He was the one you could count on to watch your back."
"But you said he was more of a lone wolf?"
"I did, and he was—and still is in many ways," Professor Kurenai rolled her eyes, seemingly wanting to list out some grievances she bore towards her old friend. "He likes to act indifferent, but deep down he cares more than he wants you to believe. And like your typical bad boy, he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He hides it. To protect himself... Not that that stopped all the girls and even some boys from falling in love with him though," she snorted to herself. Catching the confusion that crossed Sakura's face, Professor Kurenai shrugged. "People love things that are hard to get, and Kakashi's the kind of person who stands out of reach from everyone."
There was something about those words that drew a frown from Sakura. Someone who always stood out of reach from everyone else... that sounded like the perfect opportunity for that person to surround themselves with walls to keep everyone out. To keep himself from getting hurt, or from hurting others. That sounded... just like Kakashi. A lone wolf with no pack to come home to.
He's just like me, Sakura thought to herself. She swayed on her feet slightly, overwhelmed by the hope that she had finally found someone who was well familiar with the company of an aching silence. But she was just as torn by the idea that Kakashi had suffered far worse than her. At least her parents, though gone to work abroad, were still alive. He, on the other hand...
A hand touched her shoulder, accompanied by the expensive floral notes of a perfume. She looked up to meet Professor Kurenai's kind smile. "Don't worry about your professor. All you need to worry about is your school, all right?"
Sakura nodded, though she could not deny the urge to go to Kakashi right now and check up on him. Had he eaten breakfast this morning or just drained a mug of coffee? Did he have anything to eat for lunch later? Or dinner tonight? Did he even ice his knuckles like he promised he would?
Stepping out of the bathroom, Sakura decided to drop by his office. The half-point she still needed to challenge him for was the perfect excuse to go see him right now, and she hurriedly slipped out of the science building to head around the corner where his office was.
A light blush rose across her cheeks as she remembered the last time she'd walked through his office doors. Well, not walked—more like fell through... completely naked and right into his arms. She gripped her exam papers and textbooks closer to her chest, feeling her nipples tighten at the faint memory of warm but calloused hands briefly cupping her breasts to catch her mid-fall.
I'm not going to slap him this time though, she promised herself. Maybe I should pretend to trip on my way to his desk? See if he catches me again?
She shook her head.
No, that's way too childish! Just act normal!
Steeling herself before the metal blue door, Sakura sucked in a breath and then raised a fist to knock.
Before her knuckles could make contact with the polished metal, the door flew open and somebody crashed into her, knocking Sakura to the ground. Her textbook and the papers tucked within scattered across the cement, but Sakura remained dazed on the floor as she stared up at Mei Tanaka who was in the middle of buttoning up the front of her blouse. Her stare dropped from Mei's stunned face, and to the black lace bra pushing up generous breasts that Sakura had always dreamt of having. This time, the sight of those breasts still jiggling from Mei crashing into her left Sakura nauseous as the reality of the situation came crashing down on her.
They... Professor Hatake and Mei were... She dared not finish that thought.
Mei spared her one last look before darting away, disappearing into the girl's bathroom further down the hall, probably to finish buttoning up her shirt or... clean up any evidence remaining on her body.
With shaky fingers, Sakura reached for the notes scattered all around her. So that was the black lace bra the boys were talking about. It was the sexy kind of bra not even Ino dared to wear because it was the kind of lingerie worn on very special occasions. Occasions that usually ended with sex.
But with Mei, maybe she just needed to unclip her bra and give the guy a titjob. Unlike me, she has the boobs for it, Sakura thought bitterly to herself.
A sniffle escaped her as she crawled on hands and knees to chase after a stray page of notes that the wind had tried to steal away. The paper fluttered around, dancing just out of reach until it landed atop of a black pair of men's dress shoes. She blinked back the tears, wondering—no, hoping that she was just seeing things.
The owner of the shoes reached a hand down to pluck the paper off. "Miss Haruno?"
Sakura closed her eyes, wishing the wind would steal her away from here. She didn't want to be seen like this, weak and vulnerable, and sniffling like a little girl who desperately wanted what the other girl had. Bigger boobs, for a start. If only to look less like a child and more like a woman.
"Are you all right?" Another hand dipped down, palm up to offer her help.
"I'm fine!" she hissed out, standing to her feet. She ignored the weakness in her knees just as she ignored the concerned look Kakashi gave her as she dusted the front of her skirt. His hand remained held out to her and Sakura's lips pressed together at the sight of it. What? Did he think she would trip on her feet again and need him to save her? She would rather take the fall; scraped knees healed faster than a wounded pride.
Pride, at least, was something she was able to have.
Raising her chin but keeping her eyes to the ground, Sakura pivoted on her heel to leave.
"Wait. Did you want to go over your exam with me?"
Her eyes widened and she frantically skimmed through the stack of papers clenched tight in her hand. She saw pages of notes that had fallen out of her textbook, and even the essay she got back this morning, but no exam. Spinning around to face Kakashi, Sakura scowled when she saw him leaning against the threshold, one hand tucked into the pocket of his slacks and the other hand holding her exam captive against his shoulder. She took a step closer and he took a step back—further into his office—tucking the paper closer to his shoulder, keeping it safely out of her reach. As if to use it as bait to lure her in.
"Come in, Miss Haruno," Kakashi beckoned her with a curl of his finger. He turned around and retreated into his office, leaving Sakura to make her choice. Or perhaps he already knew what choice she would make.
She gripped her textbook tight, wishing she could just use it to smack him for betraying her like that. Like what? that stupid voice from earlier returned as did all her other doubts and insecurities. You're not in a relationship with him. Even if you weren't his student, you're still just a minor. Just a little girl...
But I still want to smack him! Sakura clenched her hands into fists but reigned in her anger. A female student seducing her professor was wrong, but beating the living shit out of him was just as bad... although justified, at least, given what happened with Mizuki.
I could just tell the police that I was smacking the pervert out of him?
Sakura shook her head and decided to follow him into the office, letting the door swing shut behind her. As Kakashi returned to his desk, she took the moment to observe the space around her. There honestly wasn't much to look at, which shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did.
Save for a shelf teeming with books she suspected were mostly adult romance novels, a large oak desk that probably looked as spacious underneath to fit his long legs, and several monitors set aside to leave space for some documents on the desk... there wasn't anything else in his office. Not even a diploma hanging on the wall or some cheesy inspirational quote to encourage students to stay in school. No decorations except for the two picture frames that sat on the corner of his desk, but the frames faced Kakashi so that she couldn't see what—or who—were in the photos.
It looked as if he'd moved in just this morning even though he'd been teaching since summer.
She walked slowly across the room only to stop just behind the single chair positioned opposite from Kakashi's. The black cushion of the seat was sunken in a bit as if still recovering from the weight of the last person who had sat in it. As she stared at the empty cushion, Sakura wondered if Mei had still been sitting in this chair when she started to unbutton her blouse before Kakashi. She wondered if Mei had remained in this chair as she let that black lace bra fall to her lap, luring Kakashi towards her until he was close enough to unbuckle his belt and pull out his cock for her to suck on.
"Is something wrong?" Kakashi asked her as she remained standing instead of sitting.
Sakura swallowed down the acrid bile building in the back of her throat. "Nothing. I was just wondering if you were able to help Mei with her questions too?"
Questions like 'how would you like to come, Professor? In my mouth or on my tits?'
Although she'd swallowed back the acid in her mouth, Sakura could not hold back the acidity from soaking into her words. But she was not apologetic when Kakashi's head jerked back as if her words had actually stung him.
But then his mouth set into a straight line, and Sakura shuddered as those grey eyes bore into hers, resolute and unwavering. "No," he answered firmly. "Nothing happened between us."
He sounded so sure of himself as if he truly believed his own words, and Sakura wanted to believe him too. But she'd already been burned before by Mizuki, and she wasn't ready to be burned again. This time was different though. What bothered her wasn't the idea of Kakashi getting his cock sucked by his student. What truly bothered Sakura was the idea of Kakashi getting his cock sucked by someone other than her.
She knew it was wrong to think like that, but there was a depravity within her that'd been simmering for who knows how long. And that voracious monster that was depravity fed on her jealousy.
"I think I should just go," she breathed out, turning away as she felt a fresh wave of tears start to burn at her eyes.
She'd barely taken a step when she heard the sound of quick shuffling over her shoulder. Without warning, a hand circled her wrist to stop her. Sakura blinked back the tears and at Kakashi's hand firmly but gently holding her wrist—her wrist that was so small in his hand that his thumb was able to reach the second knuckle of his index finger.
Though Sakura said she would go, she had honestly been reluctant to leave. Kakashi, it seemed, shared the same sentiment as her.
"Sakura," he murmured her name so delicately, his thumb caressing the inside of her wrist where he could probably feel her pulse flutter under his touch. "Please. Nothing happened between Miss Tanaka and I."
She searched those grey eyes that silently beseeched her. Somehow, his pleading gaze reminded her very much of a begging dog eager to prove to his master that he hadn't done anything wrong. That he was still the good boy she knew him as. Looking away from his visage, she turned her attention to the hand wrapped around her wrist.
He instantly released her, leaving her free to leave his office—and him—whenever she wished. If she wished.
"How..." Drawing in a shaky breath, Sakura tilted back her face to meet Kakashi's patient but imploring gaze. She studied his scarred eye and then his normal eye, making sure neither flinched as she asked, "How do I know that's the truth?"
He didn't flinch, but instead he lifted a hand towards her face. When his fingers were poised just an inch away from her cheek, Kakashi stopped. Suddenly, the room felt small as they both gazed at each other with bated breaths, waiting for something to happen like a student knocking on the door or Sakura deciding to pull away from him.
She didn't.
Keeping her face tilted up for him, she closed her eyes in answer.
Calloused but warm fingers brushed along her cheek as Kakashi gingerly tucked back a curl behind her ear. His breath was warm on Sakura's face although she remained unaware of how close he was to her. Her lips parted open as his fingers swept along her cheek again in retreat, drawing out a quiet sigh from her.
"Because I swore that I would never hurt you," Kakashi answered softly.
Sakura opened her eyes, finding him so close that she could spot the flecks of silver among the dark irises of his eyes.
"Tell me what you want from me," Kakashi murmured, searching her own eyes for the answer to his own question.
And you'll give it to me, Sakura realized. How strange that she was the student standing in his office, and yet the teacher towering over her right now carried the air of a mere man on his knees for her. As if she was the one who held authority over him.
"I want..." Swallowing lightly, Sakura struggled to remember the original purpose of her visit. Her eyes flitted past Kakashi's shoulder and to the paper sitting on his desk with that big red 99.5 scribbled on the front. Oh, right. "Um, I-I want you to look at my answer for the fourth free-response question."
Taken aback by her reply, Kakashi remained rooted to the spot, seemingly still processing what she'd just said. Well, what had he expected her to say? 'I want you to kiss me'? Or 'I want you to rip my clothes off and fuck me on your desk'? Yeah, she doubted he would give her any of that let alone a kiss.
Slipping around him, Sakura snatched her exam off his desk and shoved the paper into his hands.
"You gave me a half-point, but I want to argue for the other half." She tapped a finger at the bottom of the page where Kakashi had slashed the last number with a red pen to mark her error.
"Oh..." Kakashi stared dumbfoundedly at the paper that now filled the same hand he'd used to hold Sakura's wrist just earlier. Feeling her expectant stare on him, he collected himself and cleared his throat. "Right, of course. I'll see what I can do."
Sakura watched him return to the chair behind his desk before she studied the chair at her side.
'Nothing happened between Miss Tanaka and I.'
She bit her lip but then gathered the back of her skirt to sit down. Much to her relief, the cushion was cold against the bare skin of her thighs.
The two of them spent the next couple of minutes discussing the issue at hand. The problem she'd been marked wrong asked for three active processes for membrane permeability. She'd answered with pinocytosis, phagocytosis, and receptor-mediated endocytosis. The answer Kakashi had been looking for was active transport, endocytosis, and exocytosis. Her answer had fallen under exocytosis, which was how she'd earned half a point.
"But my answer still answers your question," Sakura argued, flipping the textbook open to the page on cell membrane permeability. "See? My answers, while specifically forms of endocytosis, are each still a type of active process for membrane permeability."
"That's technically correct." Kakashi nodded slowly, studying the paragraph she pointed to in the textbook.
She raised a brow at him. "So it's correct."
"Technically."
"But still correct."
Kakashi tore his attention away from the textbook to scrutinize her. Had it been the first week of school, she would've shrunk into the chair under his strict study. But she knew better now, and she let a triumphant grin break across her face when Kakashi picked up the red pen beside her paper.
Sakura leaned in her chair, eyes wide as he struck out the 99.5 to write in a beautiful fat 100 right above it. He then proceeded to draw in a plus sign next to her A, marking her paper with a perfect score.
"Happy now?" Kakashi dropped the pen and leaned back in his chair to watch her collect the paper in her hands. Too happy for words at the sight of the A-plus in front of her, all Sakura could do was nod with that gleeful grin stuck on her face. Seeing her reaction, Kakashi's eyes crinkled and he reached over to ruffle her hair. "I'm glad."
She stood up slowly, knees still shaky but for a different reason now. Clutching the exam to her chest, Sakura beamed up at him. "Thank you, Professor Hatake."
His smile softened and he walked her to the door only to pause at the threshold. Digging both hands into his pockets, he nodded to the paper she hugged with pride. "You already got the A you promised me. Why did you want this half-point so badly?"
Because I don't want to disappoint my parents... or you.
Sakura shrugged. "What can I say? I'm an overachiever, remember? I like pushing myself."
With a tip of his brow, Kakashi crossed his arms. "It sounds as if you find a sense of pleasure in that."
Warmth pooled in her belly at those words, reminiscent of the heat that throbbed between her legs whenever she had an overwhelming urge to touch herself. Like right now. Fighting that urge, Sakura raised a hand to curl a lock of hair behind her ear while her other hand hugged the textbook to her chest. "Well," she spoke quietly, "there are other things I'm into that are far more pleasurable, Professor."
Kakashi made a strange noise in the back of his throat as he considered her for a moment. "Is that so?" he murmured, his voice deepening into a low husk that had Sakura squeezing her thighs together, desperate to relieve the ache.
A quietude fell upon them in the privacy of his office, steady but tense as if they were both waiting for the other to make a move. Sakura felt like a rabbit caught in a predator's trap, but she didn't feel the urge to run away even as her heart thumped quickly behind the textbook.
Knock-knock!
The sharp rap of knuckles against the door beside them had Kakashi and Sakura jolting away from each other. It was another student wanting to go over their own exam.
Hurrying to compose herself, Sakura tucked her face behind the textbook and turned to leave.
A familiar hand suddenly wrapped around her wrist once again and she paused, heart racing like a jackrabbit as Kakashi leaned in to whisper, "Wait for me after lab class."
Before she could ask why, he was already reaching past her to open the door. A girl from class perked up at the sight of Kakashi and hurriedly slipped past Sakura and into his office while Sakura walked out in a daze.
After lab class? What was going to happen then?
Curiosity warred with her anxiety as she took a stroll around campus to wait for lab class. Students milled around benches and tables, waiting for their other classes as well while others bustled across lawns and cut corners in a hurry to their classroom. Standing among them all, Sakura felt out of place. She wasn't like these students who only had to worry about their grades and fulfilling their prerequisites. She was an anomaly, juggling feelings for her professor with her duties to her family.
A part of her wished she could be normal like the girl sipping at the water fountain, or the boy dropping off his girlfriend at class. A part of her wished Sakura didn't feel this way towards her professor just as a part of her wished she hadn't been born a Haruno. If she wasn't a Haruno, maybe she wouldn't be in this position at all, stuck at a crossroads both of which led to doom.
"It's nothing serious though," Sakura tried to tell herself.
But when it was time to go to lab, she could not help but feel that anxious thrum in her veins. She could not help revel in that excitement surging through her like adrenaline as she walked into the lab room and met Kakashi's steady gaze over the heads of the other students. There were alarm bells ringing in her head at that moment but, stubborn as she was, Sakura chose to walk right into the unknown, knowing full well that she had no lifeline to guide her back out
.
.
.
"I'm done, Professor Hatake." Sakura set her lab worksheets on the large desk between her and Kakashi.
Behind her, the rest of the classroom was now empty as the last student besides her had already left just minutes ago. Of course, Sakura had already finished her classwork an hour ago, but lab lasted three hours and she wanted to make good use of every second admiring his good looks and listening to the rise and fall of the timbre of his voice.
Lacing her fingers behind her back, she rocked on her heels while waiting for Kakashi to finish checking her answers. She had already spent the last hour of her free time running through countless theories of why he wanted to speak with her after class again. Then she'd spent the last ten minutes fantasizing Kakashi jumping onto the desk and professing his undying love to her in front of the whole class.
She chortled quietly at that just as Kakashi set her worksheet down on the pile of other collected papers. "Do you remember what we discussed the other day at the gas station?" he asked as he grabbed his bag to tuck away the stack of worksheets.
Sakura paused as she tried to recall the entirety of their conversation that day, but they'd discussed many things. I don't think he's planning to propose to be my sugar daddy though... is he?
"I need to know if you're still bleeding," Kakashi answered for her, shooting a look to her skirt.
Her face reddened but this time it was out of frustration rather than anger. So he just wanted to talk to her about that?! "Can't you smell it?" Sakura demanded, unable to hide the ire in her sharp tone.
Kakashi calmly folded his hands atop the desk. "I want your confirmation."
She bit her lip, hesitating for just a moment before relenting with a sigh. "If you turn around for me, I can check right now."
He blinked at her before his eyes flitted side to side as if making sure the classroom was absolutely empty except for the two of them. Seeing that they were indeed alone, Kakashi lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. She noticed he did that whenever he was uncomfortable with something... or nervous. "I... Is there perhaps a bathroom for you nearby? Or..."
A wicked grin slowly spread across Sakura's face and she pretended to study the chipped mint nail polish on her fingers. "It'll be more quick if you just turn around for me, Professor. Or..." she glanced at Kakashi over her hand and smiled sweetly at him. "Should we go to the supply room in case someone walks in on us?"
Although his expression remained impassive, the edge of his jaw tightened as if she'd just proposed to give him her panties. And if he did ask her that... well, honestly, she probably would. But it was Kakashi's fault, really. His idea.
And, like the grown up he was, he took full responsibility by standing up to tug out a pair of keys from his pocket—just as Sakura predicted.
Their footsteps resounded softly as Sakura swept past his desk to follow Kakashi towards the back of the classroom where the supply room was adjoined. The door had a small square window that afforded anyone a peek into either room, but from the outside, all Sakura could see was Mr. Ito, the skeleton model that Kakashi sometimes rolled out when he needed to explain the orientation of certain bones and joints.
'Clack!'
The click of the keys turning the lock in the door echoed painfully loud and both Sakura and Kakashi froze at the sound. A few seconds went by, but nobody burst into the classroom with the campus police in tow. The bunched muscles straining against his dress shirt gradually relaxed before Kakashi turned the knob and let the door swing open with a portentous 'creeaaak'.
Heart racing wild in her chest, Sakura didn't immediately step into the room when Kakashi gestured for her. She had to suck in a breath first before taking that first step.
The moment she did, the first thing she noticed was that the air was different in here—warm, even a little stale, but that was probably because there was no window for ventilation. The supply room didn't offer much except for a cabinet of microscopes, plastic bins filled to the brim with bones, and anatomical figures emphasizing various body parts in display of the muscles.
There was only one table, slightly larger than the typical science bench with its polished black epoxy resin surface. It took up the majority of the supply room with a sink attached at the corner to wash hands or rinse out test tubes and cylinders. But the table must have been borrowed from the chemistry lab since anatomy lab didn't require the use of chemicals, and this was just being used for the bins of bones and muscle models to sit on.
Sakura scooted aside one of those plastic bins to make space for herself. Hopping onto the edge of the table, she shivered as the cold surface met the underside of her thighs. Kakashi closed the door behind him, flinching when the latch clicked loudly into place. Sakura swung her legs as she watched him hesitate and then open the door to leave it ajar just an inch. Whether he'd done it for her or for him, she couldn't tell.
Running a hand through his hair, Kakashi took stock of the small room they were now in. He sighed and then turned his attention to her, his eyes briefly flitting to her bare calves swinging back and forth between them. "Could you... uh..."
Sakura tilted her head. "You want me to take off my panties now?"
Kakashi looked at her as if she'd just slapped him.
She knew it was cruel of her to tease him like this, but she couldn't help it. She didn't know what had come over her to behave like so; she was normally a good student who never talked out of turn in class, always did her homework in time, and earned her A's through hard work. The last thing she wanted was to cause trouble for her teachers or make things hard for them.
But when it came to Kakashi, she didn't want to be that good girl who didn't attract any attention to herself. She wanted to be the bad girl who the teacher always had to keep an eye on. Because she wanted Kakashi's eye always on her and only on her.
So even though Sakura's heart was thumping so hard that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears, such excitement only served to encourage her. She hopped off the desk and circled a finger through the air, signaling for him to turn around and give her some privacy. Kakashi barely had a second to do that before she promptly reached both hands beneath her skirt and yanked her panties down.
Even from behind, she could glimpse the reddened tips of his ears before she lowered her gaze to the bridge of her panties hanging between her knees. The pantyliner she'd stuck on this morning was only slightly discolored.
"It's just a bit of old blood," she announced.
"So you bled for the five full days of your menstruation cycle? Exactly as expected?" Kakashi asked, his shoulders jolting slightly at the sound of her panties snapping against her hips.
Brushing her hands down her skirt, Sakura frowned at him, perplexed as to why he was so adamant that her menstruation cycle was accurate. "Of course. Why else would I be bleeding down there?"
There was a heavy sigh on Kakashi's end. For a moment, his shoulders drooped as if he carried the weight of either too many lives or too many sins. "Your scent hasn't changed either," he mumbled, still not looking at her. "That means Mizuki never touched you."
That means... what? How was Mizuki connected in any way to her menstruation cycle?
"Wait," Sakura shook her head, still baffled by the sudden turn in conversation. "Have you been worried about me this whole time?"
And not just today or yesterday, but possibly since... the marathon? Ah, she remembered now. That murderous rage thinly concealed behind his mask when Kakashi had caught her and Mizuki speaking with each other.
"The day of the marathon," she spoke slowly, staring wide-eyed at Kakashi's broad back as all the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together in her head. "You were trying to protect me from him. You told me that Ino was looking for me—but she wasn't. You told Mizuki that you needed to use the bathroom too—but you didn't. This whole time, you just wanted to keep me safe..."
The soft fall of her footsteps against the linoleum flooring filled the pregnant pause of conversation as Sakura slowly approached Kakashi. Even with his back turned to her, she could see how his shoulders tensed with every step she took towards him. Her eyes dragged down the muscular outline of his arm and to the hand hanging by his side.
She deliberately raised a hand to reach for his. "Why?" Sakura whispered to him. "Why do you care so much about my safety?"
Why her of all people?
As if sensing what she was trying to do, Kakashi spun around to face her. A silent conflict played across his face as his jaw shifted but no words came out. He looked as if he wanted to confess something in search of... absolution? From her? Sakura waited for him but then his mouth closed shut, jaw clenched tight as if it'd been wired.
He looked to Mr. Ito hanging next to him, hiding the pain shining bright in his eyes. "Because you're my student," he simply said. "Of course I would want to make sure you're safe."
"Oh..." The corners of Sakura's mouth quivered as she was unsure of whether that answer made her happy or not.
An awkwardness quickly started to settle over them but it was Kakashi who broke the charged atmosphere first as he brushed by her to yank the door open all the way. The cold air of the classroom swept into the supply room, drawing a shiver from Sakura. She tried to fight back a wave of disappointment as Kakashi held the door open for her in gesture.
As he locked up the supply room, she retrieved her backpack, shrugging the straps on at a lethargic pace, hoping that would give Kakashi time to change his mind and spill whatever secret he'd wanted to share. It wasn't that Sakura just wanted to know just for the fun of it, but she'd seen the way such a secret had caused Kakashi pain just by holding onto it. Sure, a student wasn't the best choice to confess to, but she would've helped him with whatever he was going through. She wanted to help him the same way he always helped her.
Does he not trust me...?
Perhaps he noticed her mopey mood while stacking the chairs onto the lab benches because Kakashi paused with a chair in hand, staring at her in contemplation. With a sigh, he set the last chair on the table and approached her. "Listen, are you free on Saturday?"
She quickly raised her face to nod at him. "I-I am!"
Crossing his arms, he leaned a hip against the edge of a table and nodded to her. "How about I give you another self-defense lesson?"
There he goes again, making sure I'm staying safe even when he's not around. Her mouth quirked into a small smile and she twirled around, humming and tapping her chin as if weighing his offer. When the seconds started to build, Sakura whirled back to him. "Well, if you insist!"
Kakashi rolled his eyes but let out a huff of laughter. He reached over to ruffle her hair but Sakura swung aside and out of reach to stick her tongue out at him. When he raised his hands in a gesture of peace, she stopped and folded her hands behind her back.
"You know, you're always looking out for me when you're not with me. I wish there was some way I could thank you for all you've done," Sakura said, keeping her voice neutral.
His gaze rose over her shoulder to check the entrance of the classroom. It was ten minutes past the allotted lab time and he was supposed to be locking up the classroom for the day by now. Not lingering within to chat with his student about trivial matters.
Sakura held her breath, bracing herself to hear him say it was getting late and they needed to leave. Wordlessly, Kakashi jingled the keys in his hand and strolled by her. Her heart sank, but Sakura followed after him, withholding a defeated sigh as she reached for the door.
"My favorite dessert is rice pudding."
Her hand froze just before the doorknob. She turned around, surprised to find Kakashi smiling wryly at her, the tops of his cheeks a light pink.
"I owe you a dirty little secret for passing my exam with an A, remember?" Scratching the back of his head, Kakashi let out a sheepish laugh that somehow made him sound ten years younger. "You once asked about my favorite dessert, and I know I said I'm not really into sweets but... my old man used to make me rice pudding on the days he'd forget to buy groceries."
Rice pudding? Huh, she'd never expected that from him, but somehow it was befitting. She could imagine his father, an older version of the man before her now with a kind gaze wrinkled with mirth. She could imagine that man juggling a number of ingredients in his arms as a little Kakashi sat in his high chair at the kitchen counter, waiting for his pudding. A pudding made with love.
"It's love," Sakura said, revealing her own dirty little secret in return. "When I was a little girl, Mama used to tell me that love is the secret ingredient to a delicious dish. You have to pour your feelings into it when you cook."
"Love?" Kakashi asked softly. His brows pinched together ever so slightly as if the notion was unfamiliar to him. That, or he just forgot how it felt. How it tasted.
Peering through her lashes, Sakura bit her lip in hesitation. Then she stepped closer to the door, her hand grasping the doorknob but not opening it yet. "Your office hours are until five today, right?" There were two hours left. "Are you expecting any more students today?"
Kakashi shook his head.
"Then..." Sakura bit back a grin. "Are you hungry?"
His fingers flew across the keyboard as Kakashi finished uploading one more announcement for his students to take note of. With a final tap of the 'enter' key, he leaned back in the chair, groaning in satisfaction of the work he'd finished today. The grades were updated, the rubrics for this week's assignments published, and emails from students answered.
He glimpsed the time in the corner of the monitor, pleased to see that it was ten minutes until five. Done for today, Kakashi reached for his bag to tuck away the remaining documents and notes on his desk.
Knock-knock-knock!
He glanced up at the door across from him. "It's open!"
Warm light spilled into the room, outlining the masculine figure of an old friend.
"Hey there, Professor!" Asuma stepped inside, carrying with him the pungent scent of herbs despite the cigarette tucked in his mouth not even lit.
"Hey there yourself," Kakashi said. A bit surprised by the sudden visit, he raised a brow and watched his friend make himself home in the chair usually reserved for students.
As a married man now, Asuma had more duties to fulfill besides his duties as a teacher. And with Kurenai pregnant, all the more reason for him to be with his wife than dropping by for—
"Oh, is that rice pudding?" Asuma leaned towards Kakashi's desk to examine the small bowl of food Kakashi had spent the better half of his office hours munching on. "The school's café doesn't have this. Did you make it yourself? Looks really good!"
Kakashi grabbed the bowl and slid it closer to him and further from Asuma. "What are you doing here? Don't you usually grab lunch with Kurenai at this time?"
"She's off at her appointment," Asuma said, leaning back in his chair to balance on the back legs as he and Kakashi often did when they were children. "I'd come with her but she said I've been hovering around her like a helicopter and she wants a breather."
Kakashi gave a half-shrug as he proceeded to organize the papers in his bag. "You know Kurenai. Her father was always overprotective of her. It was for good reason, of course, but Kurenai always despised it. It makes sense that she would hate that you're doing the same thing to her now even though she is pregnant."
"I can't help it! Times were dangerous when we were kids and it's hard to break out of that mentality now. Hard to stop looking over your shoulder," Asuma grunted, leaning forth to set the front legs of the chair back down. He stroked a hand along his beard thoughtfully. "Sometimes I worry about the new generation of kids. They didn't grow up the same way we had to, and that leaves them vulnerable. That leaves my daughter vulnerable," Asuma muttered.
Kakashi lowered his eyes to the bowl of rice pudding sitting before him. "I know..."
He of all people knew all too well of how different their generation was from the new generation. Children who grew up in wartime versus children who grew up in peace? They were night and day. The scars that decorated Kakashi's body—and the scars that Asuma and Kurenai carried themselves—were proof of that. Sometimes his childhood felt like a fever dream. The days when high school prostitutes littered the streets and drive-by shootings filled the city were long gone. Replaced by children throwing footballs on their front yards and music festivals playing at street corners.
Sometimes Kakashi wished his whole life was just a fever dream.
Asuma heaved a long sigh, frowning at the unlit cigarette between his lips. With a shake of his head, he sat forward and slapped his palms on his knees. "All right, I didn't come here to mope! I actually came here to tell you that the boys wanna hit the bar Friday night. You coming?"
Swallowing lightly, Kakashi peeked into his bag where an orange bottle of prescribed medication sat nestled within. It was never a good idea to drink on any dosage of pills, but it'd been almost a month since he had a drop of liquor. One night wouldn't hurt.
"All right," he nodded.
Asuma's brows shot up.
"What?"
"Nothing!" The to-be father hurriedly shook his head as if afraid Kakashi would change his mind. "It's just... ever since school started, you've been going to social events more often."
'Ever since he met Sakura' was more accurate, but Kakashi's lips would remain sealed regarding the truth of that entire night. He'd decided long ago that the events of that night would be a secret he would take to his grave.
"Before the semester started, you always stayed holed up in your house or at... at the hospital," Asuma said carefully with a face that seemed indifferent. "Kurenai was getting really worried about you, y'know. We all were."
Guilt stabbed him in the gut, but Kakashi hid it with a crinkle-eyed smile. "Well, you have nothing to worry about now."
Now, while Sakura was still his student. She wouldn't need him for forever, he knew that very well and it would be foolish of him to expect to see her once the semester ended. And once the semester did come to an end... Kakashi tried not to dwell on that. He tried not to sink back into that ocean of depression even as he entered his house and walked through the empty darkness, his footsteps resounding loud in the hallways. He tried to smile when he entered the spacious backyard and was immediately greeted by the best little boys in the world, their tails wagging eagerly in his presence and slobber flying everywhere as they gave him kisses.
Some days, it was easy to smile and pretend everything was fine. Other days, Kakashi woke up far too drained that he wished he could just wear a full face mask; that way, every time he smiled, he wouldn't have to close his eyes to hide the pain.
But Mondays and Wednesdays were his saving grace. Mondays and Wednesdays were when he could see Sakura and forget all about his nightmares and ghosts in the grace of her presence. Mondays and Wednesdays when he could see Sakura and see that she was safe and well reminded Kakashi that maybe—just maybe—there might still be hope for him. That there might come a day when he could be absolved of his sins and free of the guilt.
Maybe.
And he continued to entertain that idea when Wednesday came around.
Standing behind the lectern and waiting for his students to finish copying down the notes from the powerpoint in front of them, Kakashi allowed his eyes to fall on Sakura as she kept hunched over her notebook, furiously scribbling down the difference between thin myofilaments and thick myofilaments.
Her hair was in loose waves today, the curls from Monday having softened now. There was this urge to wrap a finger around one of those soft, rosy locks, but Kakashi merely tightened his grip on the remote of the screen projector. She was so focused on taking down notes that she didn't bother to tuck back the bangs that fell over her eyes. Instead, Sakura tilted her head to angle her bangs aside, exposing the length of her neck as well.
Kakashi studied the delicate length of her collar bone. He noticed she rarely wore necklaces or jewelry in general, but she did seem to like wearing hair accessories such as pearl hairpins, headbands, and clips. Today, she had one of those butterfly hair clips hugging a tiny braid that framed the left side of her face. With her fragile but effervescent beauty, he thought those butterfly clips were very becoming of her, and reminiscent of the image of a blossom surrounded by butterflies.
He leaned his elbows against the lectern's surface, thinking of what kind of flower Sakura would wear in her hair on special occasions. Daisies? Or maybe a crown of baby's breath? But he also thought—
"Professor Hatake?" A student from the back raised their hand for his attention. "Could you move on to the next slide already?"
Oops.
He fumbled with the remote for a second before pressing the button. Sakura eyed him for a moment, her cherry glossed lips parting around the tip of her pen as Kakashi cleared his throat and went on to explain the diagram of the neuromuscular junction.
That was strange. He didn't normally get distracted like that.
For the rest of class, Kakashi made sure to keep his eyes trained on the powerpoint, glancing to the students on his other side only when he needed to address a student's question or check if anyone was still copying the notes. But then like a switch, his mind was filled with nothing but Sakura the moment lecture ended and he made his way to their pavilion.
She was already sitting at the bench, smiling and holding a plastic container on her lap. Even before sitting down beside her, Kakashi could already pick up her floral scent that was all her—with a hint of Minty Rainforest Mist—and the cinnamon notes of the rice pudding he knew was for him again.
He smiled as she happily handed him the pudding and a spork accented with a Minnie Mouse handle. At the back of Kakashi's mind nagged the thought that this was inappropriate; a male teacher should never accept personalized gifts from a female student. But Kakashi was never one to turn down free food, and who was he to deny her hard work and effort? Who was he to deny the best rice pudding he hadn't had since he was a little boy?
And when he took that first bite, the sweet rice warm and sticky, Kakashi couldn't help but close his eyes at the taste of home. It'd been so long that he'd almost forgotten that taste.
For the next half hour, he spent his time cherishing every bite while listening to Sakura talk about how her friend Naruto had an upcoming soccer game while Tenten had a taekwondo competition, and she couldn't decide which one to attend when she wanted to support them both. She was loyal to a fault like that, and no doubt a people pleaser. That was a double-edged sword, but Kakashi kept silent as Sakura stubbornly tried to reconfigure her schedule to accommodate both her friends.
For a moment, he saw Obito next to him, gripping his sniper rifle tight as he frantically tried to figure out whether to save his wounded teammate crawling for shelter ten yards away or the little boy cowering behind a pile of rubble.
Kakashi blinked the image away when the beep of his watch interrupted Sakura's chatter. He glanced down at his hand clenched tight around the Minnie Mouse spork. Slowly, he pried his fingers off one by one before reaching over to pat Sakura on the head. Beneath his hand, she beamed at him, assuming he was patting her in praise of her pudding.
It was that innocent smile that soothed the ache in Kakashi's heart, and he found himself staring at Sakura again in lab later, waiting for the off chance that that smile would appear again.
Sitting behind his desk, he watched as she worked diligently on her lab assignment. They were studying the muscles of the lower extremities today and Kakashi almost chuckled aloud when he caught her glaring at the anatomical figure's buttocks. He found it endearing the way her brows knitted together whenever she was in deep concentration. The more challenging the problem, the deeper her frown.
Catching himself ogling her again, Kakashi tried to walk around the room, checking in on the other students to see if anyone needed help or clarification. But every time he finished helping a student, he found his eyes straying back to Sakura time and time again.
It was impossible to look away when she lifted a hand to tuck back a lock of hair, her thin wrist flexing gracefully with the movement. It was impossible to not pass her by more times than he needed to, if only to catch a whiff of that subtle, sweet cherry blossom scent that trailed after her presence, especially the musky vanilla notes that stood out once she worked up a bit of sweat.
Was she sweating right now? The lab room was a bit stuffy and the door remained closed to shut out the noise of the students passing by and chatting outside. Since her hair was down, maybe the back of her neck was a bit damp.
Before he knew it, Kakashi was already leaning in his chair and towards her direction as she sat just five feet away from him. He stopped the moment his chair creaked in warning.
Stop being a pervert, his rational side berated him.
But I wonder what it would be like to be wrapped in her scent if she worked up a sweat on my bedsheets, that damn perverted side of him thought.
Kakashi heaved a long sigh and raised his wrist to check the time, groaning inwardly when he saw barely twenty minutes had passed. The next three hours of class crawled by at an agonizing pace. By the third hour, Kakashi was already regretting not setting up a seating chart at the start of the semester. He was quickly realizing that letting Sakura sit five feet away from him and directly in his line of sight had been a huge mistake.
No matter which way he looked, she was always in his peripheral vision. No matter which way he faced, he could always smell her shampoo or her scent. No matter which student he talked to when they approached him to submit their work, he could always hear her gentle, thoughtful hums.
He was damned no matter what he did.
By the time she was the only student left in class, Kakashi was slouched in his chair, feeling somehow defeated and exhausted as if he'd lost a battle. Of course, Sakura remained blissfully ignorant of his struggle as she finally stood up from her desk and happily passed him her worksheet.
At this point, Kakashi didn't even need to look to know that all her answers were correct. He also knew that despite being the last student to turn in her work, she had actually been the first one to finish. But she always pretended otherwise just so that she could be the last student he saw for the day. Just so that they could have some alone time together in class.
It shouldn't have pleased him as much as it did.
But Kakashi followed her lead and feigned ignorance as he pretended to scrutinize her work. As expected, all her answers were correct, but he wouldn't deny that he checked them a second time... and then a third time... and then a fourth time just so that he could have her stay at his side a little longer.
"Your handwriting is very neat. It's like it's its own font," Kakashi said as he grabbed a pen and checked off her paper. He liked the way she crossed her zeroes, sevens, and Z's. It was less eye strain for him.
Sakura let out a gasp under the pretense of amazement. "Professor Hatake! Since when did you get so good at complimenting people?"
He raised his chin proudly. "I just earned my Masters at the University of Haruno."
Wait, did he really just say that? He tried not to cringe. It'd been so long since he flirted with someone that he was entirely off his game. Wait, had he just tried to flirt with Sakura?
"You are such a dork, Professor!" Sakura laughed out, the sound of her giggles filling Kakashi with warmth.
Shaking her head, she suddenly leaned across his desk (why did she have to smell so good?) and borrowed one of his pens. Kakashi was still recovering from her scent washing over him when Sakura took his hand in hers, popping off the cap of his blue pen with her teeth. She tucked back a wavy lock and leaned in to draw an A-plus on the palm of his hand. When she was done, she bit the tip of his pen to study her work, nodding in satisfaction.
Kakashi briefly forgot how to breathe when she peered up at him through her lashes, her large eyes a deep emerald and catty. "Yes, I'd say you earned it," she purred to him, lips curling into a coy smile.
Every thought in Kakashi's head poofed away, leaving him staring at her like he was a 12 year old kid again, hapless under the striking beauty and confidence of a woman who knew what she wanted and how to take it.
Sakura's smile widened and she chuckled quietly at his reaction. "See you, Professor Hatake."
She set his hand down on the desk, but the warmth of her touch stayed with him like a brand as he watched her pick up her backpack and exit the classroom. The door swung shut, the latch clicking into place before the silence of the classroom followed after. Kakashi's gaze lingered on the door, a small part of him hoping to see Sakura waltz back in to come back to him.
He glanced down at his palm, raising his other to trace the blue A-plus she'd branded him with.
Perhaps he truly was a damned man.
.
.
.
Friday nights were the busiest days for the local bar Asuma had taken them to. By eight o' clock, the establishment was already packed full of men and women eager to loosen themselves up and drink away their problems. Kakashi had many fond memories of doing the same thing when he'd still served in the military, but usually Obito was at his side, picking fights with the other patrons whenever he caught them harassing a woman.
Tonight, however, Genma sat on the stool beside him, already draining another glass of sake. Kakashi didn't know how many shots his friend had taken, but the guy's face was already flushed a tomato red and his eyes were starting to cross together as he frowned at Kakashi.
"The hell are you doing with your jacket still on?" Genma slurred, lurching forward on his stool to start yanking at Kakashi's sleeve. "You gotta take it off and show off your assets, man—including your ass. Ladies love a man with a firm ass," he hiccuped, reaching around to give Kakashi a pat on the bum. He ended up patting Kakashi's back instead.
"I thought we were just coming for drinks?" Kakashi asked, surreptitiously pulling away the sake bottle out of Genma's reach.
Genma rolled his eyes and Kakashi grabbed his shirt to keep him from falling off his stool. "Of course we are! And for the ladies too! See?" He waved a hand in Guy's direction, nearly smacking a passing person in the face. "Guy even groomed his brows for tonight and now he's got a pretty lady with him."
Kakashi followed his friend's finger and raised a brow at his colleague sitting at a table with a young woman. The fitness instructor, competitive as always, had tried to bait Kakashi into having a drinking competition with him. When they were younger, they'd often tried to drink each other under the table which often led to the table somehow breaking and the bartender having to kick them out.
The same bartender, his dark hair streaked white now, slid another glass of whiskey to Kakashi when he'd signaled with a finger. These days, the man was too old to bother with Guy and Kakashi anymore, and Kakashi was also too old to want to risk a hangover.
He sipped at his glass, watching a brunette woman beside Guy slam down her empty beer bottle with a satisfied smack of her lips. "Is that all you got?!" she crowed out, challenging Guy as he struggled to keep from swaying side to side.
"Getsumei," Guy said, his words sounding as if his tongue was lead in his mouth. "Have I ever told you... I love a woman who knows how to hold her liquor."
Kakashi tipped a brow, feeling like he was watching a soap opera. It wasn't often that Guy met his match, and at first Getsumei blushed as she was caught off guard by his confession. Grabbing another bottle of beer, Guy cracked the cap off with his teeth and took a swig of the drink before offering it to his new opponent—or rather, love interest. A fire lit up in Getsumei's eyes and she took the bottle from him, throwing her head back to chug the whole thing down in one breath.
"Ya see?" Genma whined next to Kakashi. "Guy's always tellin' us to... to, uh... what's that shit he always says?"
"The springtime of our youth is already over," Asuma spoke up from Kakashi's other side, having returned from a call with Kurenai. He mimicked Guy's exuberant persona and threw Kakashi a thumbs up. "But! Now is the best time to find The One! Don't let this chance slip you by!"
"Yeah, that's the one!" Genma nodded, giving Asuma finger guns.
Kakashi examined the amber liquid of his whiskey, the single rock of ice swishing the alcohol around as he swirled the glass. Beneath the transparent bottom, he glimpsed the blue A-plus on his palm. "I'm not really looking to bring home a girl tonight," he said, earning shocked looks from both Asuma and Genma.
"What?" Genma sputtered, nearly toppling off his chair this time. "But you never pass on a night with a woman? D-Don't tell me you got yourself a girl already?"
The question had Kakashi freezing mid-sip of his drink. No, he wasn't dating anyone but... but what? But he was attracted to a girl who was his student? A girl who was half his age? A girl who was underage? Suddenly, the alcohol in Kakashi's stomach threatened to come back up as Genma's expectant stare seemed to bore into him, witnessing his deepest and darkest secrets.
How could he tell his friends such a thing? How could he tell his friends that he was an immoral bastard who got hard every night fantasizing his student in his bed? How could he explain that that was the reason why he had no intention to take a woman to bed with him tonight? Because he wanted Sakura?
The ice in his glass rustled aloud as Kakashi gripped the drink tighter. A bitter spite filled him from the inside out as just that innocent question from Genma forced him to acknowledge the sick and unhealthy need he had for Sakura. He was starting to get addicted to her much in the same vein he'd grown addicted to pain medication in his later years of service in the military. She was a medicine that he craved if only to remedy the cracks in his heart and soothe the ache of his balls, and Kakashi was terrified at the thought that he might be developing an obsession with her.
The same way Mizuki had.
Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut and down the rest of his drink. He signaled to the bartender again for another round. While waiting for his drink, he looked over to the far end of the counter and met the sultry gaze of a woman he'd sensed had been staring at him for most of the night. She smiled at him and raised her shot glass before downing it. When she set the glass down, she held his gaze as she licked her lips, the tip of her tongue slowly tracing her cupid's bow.
Perfect.
Kakashi ordered a second glass to go with his.
It didn't take long for the woman and him to polish off the two whiskeys. Nor did it take them long to catch a cab and ride to the closest motel where they burst into their room, clawing at each other's clothes.
"I'm Yua," she panted out, pressing desperate kisses along the edge of his jaw. "What's your name?"
Kakashi silenced her with a kiss, yanking her hands away from his mask when she tried to peel it down and guiding them to his belt. She groaned when her fingers brushed along the firm bulge beneath the buckle, and Kakashi groaned after her when she slipped a hand in and gripped him firmly.
"Oh, you're a big boy," she mumbled, hurriedly stroking him to full erection.
It'd been a long while since he allowed himself any semblance of relief that it didn't take long for Kakashi to harden in her hand. All the blood in his head seemed to rush south and he bit back a curse when a thumb experimentally swept over his tip, smearing the precum weeping from the sensitive slit. He threw his head back, bumping it against the wall as his eyes fell shut.
But the moment he closed his eyes, suddenly it wasn't Yua but Sakura working her small hand up and down the length of him. Kakashi's eyes flew open and he hauled Yua to the bed, practically tossing her in his hurry for release. He didn't normally manhandle a lady he'd just met, but Yua seemed to like it as she giggled when her body bounced atop the mattress.
The moon cast a pale glow over her figure, highlighting the generous curves of her body and the impressive swell of her breasts that he guessed were double D cups. She wasted no time in proving his theory right when she reached for the back of her tight dress and unzipped it to peel off the offending clothing.
She was still dragging down her panties—a black lace thong that covered practically nothing—when Kakashi joined her on the bed, still fully clothed but already settling between her legs.
"Don't worry, I'm on birth control," Yua said when he pulled out a condom from his wallet.
One could never be too careful though, so Kakashi continued to rip open the foil while Yua kept busy by playing with her clit. But when Kakashi readied the condom against the tip of his cock, he paused at the sight of the blue A-plus in his hand.
The seconds ticked by as he remained frozen and staring at Sakura's mark on him.
Growing impatient, Yua snatched the condom from him and rolled it on before pushing Kakashi onto his back. She took her hands and guided them to her heavy breasts as she settled over his lap. A pleased sigh escaped her as he squeezed her breasts, feeling the weight and size of them in his grip.
"Fuuuuck..." Yua groaned along with him as she sank herself down on his cock.
Like a switch, an instinct in Kakashi turned on and his hands flew down to her hips, helping her set a harsh pace as she bounced herself up and down. The wet heat of her insides wrapping and coiling around Kakashi had him digging his fingers into her hips. Without warning, he rolled them around, switching up their positions so that he could take control.
"Fuck! Yes!" Yua cried out, grabbing the back of her thighs to spread her legs wider so that she could watch his cock pump in and out of her. The buckle of his belt kept smacking against her leg but she made no complaint as he kept up his thrusts. Within minutes, Kakashi grew weary of the sound of his belt buckle consistently hitting her knee. This time Yua started to protest when he suddenly pulled out of her only to haul her onto her hands and knees.
The bed creaked sharply beneath them as Yua arched her back for him, presenting her dripping cunt. He slid a hand down, fingers brushing over coarse curls so he could do press two fingers in and test how wet she was. See if she could handle what was to come.
The smell of her arousal was potent and sweet, but it wasn't intoxicating the way Sakura's was. It didn't draw him in or leave him wanting to eat her out. Her arousal merely served its purpose in helping Kakashi slam back into her, eliciting a surprised squeal from Yua.
Her moans gradually rose in pitch, bordering on sobs and screams as he fucked her into the bed. Anyone passing by their room wouldn't miss the cries of a woman within, or the furious squeaking of the bed, or the wet squelches and slapping of skin. But Kakashi didn't care if anyone heard them. Nor did he care how Yua cried out when he tangled a hand into the long brassy locks of her hair and yanked—not hard, but firmly enough that he felt Yua tighten around him.
"Yesss," she hissed out, baby blue eyes rolling back from the pain mixing with the pleasure.
Kakashi reached down to capture a breast in his hand, his fingers pinching and pulling her nipple into peak erection. It was obvious just by the eager sway of her hips and her moans unabashedly filling the small room that the woman he was fucking right now was the kind of woman who could keep up with him. She was the kind of woman he wouldn't mind seeing again for a casual fling.
And yet...
"Don't stop," Yua begged him, whimpering into the pillow.
And yet...
He continued rutting into her like a depraved animal, his harsh thrusts wrenching out sob after sob from her.
And yet… why did her pale brassy hair, under the silver light of the moon, remind Kakashi of locks the color of cherry blossoms?
The tight heat of her clenched frantically around his cock, squeezing and drawing him in as Yua started to babble nonsense now.
Why did the generous breasts he'd always preferred since he was a kid suddenly feel too large and heavy for his tastes?
"I'm so close!" she whined out.
Why, when he closed his eyes, his breath stuttering in his chest as a white-hot release rushed through him, did he keep seeing Sakura beneath him? Why was it her voice he was hearing, crying out upon orgasm? Why did he feel a sense of satisfaction when he imagined that it was Sakura whose hips he gripped and whose pretty little cunt he had stuffed with his cock?
The body beneath him collapsed against the bed. For a while, Kakashi kept his hands around Yua's hips, her sweat and juices making his grip slick until he was forced to let go.
Pleasure thrummed warmly in his veins, the hot ache of his balls fading away with each passing throb until Kakashi was left with that dreaded post-nut clarity. He pulled out and peered down between Yua's thighs where the evidence of her orgasm dribbled down her slit. With her face still pressed into the sheets, she let out a soft, content moan, uncaring of the mess between her legs.
Kakashi swallowed lightly as he pulled the condom off and tied the end of it. His spend sat heavy at the bottom of the condom; he'd spilled a lot after having denied himself any sort of release for the past weeks. The condom dangled in the air as he moved to throw it away, but just as he was about to toss it into the trash bin across the room, he stopped and turned his hand over to examine his palm.
Blue ink smeared across the worn skin. The remnants of pleasure still simmering in Kakashi's gut instantly soured as he saw that the A-plus was gone.
Though he'd finally found release from all that pent-up sexual frustration, he was far from satisfied.
He'd thought sleeping with another woman would absolve him of his attraction to Sakura. He'd thought a well-earned release would remind him that he was into sexy, experienced women and not underage girls who blushed at the mere thought of a first kiss. Apparently, he was wrong; much to his horror and shame, his attraction to Sakura ran deeper than expected. How foolish of him to think a quick fuck was the answer to his problem. It was far more complicated than that, and Kakashi had a foreboding sense that this problem would only grow from here on.
A/N: Read a deleted scene between Naruto and Sakura on my Tumblr by copying this link: /post/675482645376974848/the-anatomy-of-love
Also I'm changing the update schedule to Sundays instead of Saturdays. I have weekly Saturday appointments from now on, so I won't have access to my laptop to upload the chapter. So the update schedule is: Sundays – every 2 weeks – at 3pm PST. Apologies for any inconvenience!
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Twitter: Rey_OrganaSolo
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