. Where We Go .


"Got a hole in my head and my heart tonight.

Well you shot me down, you just ain't right.

Comes a time when you know you must let go.

~x~

I know, I know,

We fixed it, but it's broken."

~ "Where We Go" by P!nk


Natsu wasn't sure why the itch in his spine sent him skittering through his house at such an early hour of the day. He scurried through it like someone who didn't belong, ripping through cabinets and drawers as if he'd find some answer among the contents. His eyes were narrowed with agitation, hair sticking up at odd angles. When Wendy, blinking blearily, came down to ask what he was doing, he only mumbled indeterminable phrases, and she eventually shrugged and went to continue her homework.

Something was off, he declared silently, fisting a hand in his scarf. He just didn't know what. He'd gone through the house, bottom to attic, and he had come up with nothing. So it wasn't here. A thought tugged at his head, narrowing his attention on one little detail.

He tracked down Wendy again. "Is Gajeel here?"

Wendy shook her head. "He left in the middle of the night. Remember? He woke us up before he left."

Troubled, Natsu copied her and shook his head. He didn't recall Gajeel doing anything of the sort. But then, he'd been very tired the previous night. Perhaps he'd simply not been aware enough. "Huh. Why'd he leave?"

"Someone broke into Levy's museum," Wendy said with a grimace. "They stole a bunch of artifacts." Natsu stared at her in horror, and she added, "I don't remember which ones. But apparently there were a few major pieces that went missing."

Maybe that was the odd feeling. Natsu scurried off to find Gajeel's laptop, intent on figuring out what had been stolen. Before he could find it, however, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He didn't bother to check the caller ID, knowing precisely who would call him at this time of day. "Hey, Luce," he said, phone pressed to his ear. "Have another nightmare?"

She didn't answer him at first, but that wasn't unusual. It must have frightened her immensely, however, from the way her breathing could be heard. It was shaken, panicked, wheezy, as if she couldn't catch it. He paused in the middle of digging through Gajeel's bag, furrowing his brow when even after a handful of minutes, she said nothing. "Luce?" he prompted.

She hung up.

Natsu jolted, unsure of how to respond to the matter as he straightened and stared at his phone in confusion. Frowning and a little worried, he dialed her number and called her. Lucy didn't answer. So, he fired her a text, asking if everything was alright, and then did the same to Gray, requesting to hear if he'd heard anything worrisome from Lucy. Gray responded quickly despite the time of day, even as Lucy didn't respond at all.

He'd not heard anything, but wanted to know if Lucy was okay. Natsu told him she was, and then huffed to himself, confused by what was happening. He gave up on finding Gajeel's computer - the bastard must have hidden it somewhere in his room, as he tended to do in order to keep it from the very person currently wanting to use it - and retreated back into the main house. Happy caught his attention, sprawled on a step. Natsu found he was envious of his cat. He wished he could lounge around without a care in the world.

Having nothing better to do with his time, Natsu decided to go back to his recent favored activity: searching through their attic. He'd not found anything fun as of late, but he was hopeful. There were countless things up there. Grandeeney's, Metalicana's, Igneel's - there wasn't a lot that had been touched, and Wendy and Gajeel had told him to search through whatever he wanted.

He was brushing himself off after climbing up into the attic when his phone rang again. Luce, it read. Concerned, Natsu answered immediately. "Luce?" he greeted, shuffling around some boxes he'd left up in the attic. He made his way to the set he'd not touched yet, eyeing the dust floating in the air with interest. Wendy must have come up recently. "You there?"

She hung up. Again.

Annoyed now, Natsu fired off another text, asking her to just say whether or not she was okay. He wasn't truly annoyed, only that she wasn't saying why she was upset because he knew for a fact that something was wrong if she was doing this. Grumbling, Natsu went back to what he was doing, keeping an ear and eye on his phone.

When it rang a third time, he answered a little harshly. "Lucy!" he barked into it. "Are you okay or not?"

"...I'm okay," she whispered, and he knew immediately that she wasn't. The strain and agony in her voice, the hoarseness, told him she'd been crying for a long time. She sounded exhausted, too. Natsu rocked back on his heels, lips pressed together as he waited. "Sorry."

Natsu debated how he should answer her. He didn't want to scare her off the phone. So, he asked hesitantly, "Did you need me to come over or anything?"

"No!" she gasped, and his gut twisted. Something was wrong, really wrong. "No, I...please don't."

"Okay, I won't." Natsu stood there unmoving except to scuff a heel over the dusty floor. "But only if you tell me what's wrong."

She took a shaken breath, and he winced, his fingers trembling with the need to touch her. He wanted to ensure that she was okay. That if she was crying, which he knew she had been or still was, he could help. "I...do you…" She couldn't seem to word her thoughts. She seemed scrambled, and unsure, and it worried him further. Finally, she rasped, "Someone...someone broke into the museum."

Natsu relaxed. That would upset anyone. He knew Lucy would be worried about Levy as well as the items within the museum. She was as fond of it as the rest of them were, even if she didn't remember precisely why. "Yeah, I heard. Wendy told me. Is Levy okay?"

"She was, last...last I heard." Lucy was distracted now, and he heard something clink in the background.

The sound jolted through him, and his body went stock still. He knew that sound as easily as he knew the voice in his ear, even if he'd not heard it in this life. "Luce?" he said, fighting to keep his voice even. "The person who broke in...who do you think it was? Do you know if they stole anything?"

Lucy didn't answer. Natsu thought she'd hang up on him again. "I don't know what to do," she said finally, and he furrowed his brow in confusion. Her voice was blunt and emotionless, as if she'd locked something away so he'd not know about it.

"About what?"

"The keys."

His heart skipped a beat. "The what?"

So, she told him. How she'd gone to meet Levy and when she'd come home, the keys had been in the middle of her guest bed, the window open. A note had been left with them, though Lucy wouldn't tell him what it said. She seemed more keen on avoiding the topic, actually, and it worried him. "What do I do with the keys?" she demanded, and he heard them clink together again. "I mean, I've probably...my fingerprints are all over them. They're evidence. And since they were found in my house, the police will think I stole them."

Natsu drew a hand down his face. "I'll...let me talk to Levy. She'll know what to do," he reassured.

He heard her exhale softly into the phone. "No. I'll do it." Her voice was clipped, as if she was trying desperately to get off the phone now. "I'll talk to Levy. Thank you. I'm sorry for calling."

Natsu drew his phone away to stare at the empty screen when she hung up again, this time clearly having no intent to call back. His stomach twisted and churned. Something was wrong. Really wrong.

So, Natsu abandoned his attic. He hastily scrambled down into the house, barely muttering a word to Wendy as he bolted around grabbing everything he needed. Keys, wallet, phone in his pocket. When he was ready, Natsu paused to let Wendy know he was heading out. She waved him off to indicate she'd be fine, and then Natsu was sweeping from the house after a final pat on Happy's head.

He paused after closing the door behind him. Who did he go to first? Instinct told him Levy, but Lucy would likely be talking with her, and Natsu didn't want to interrupt that conversation. Gajeel then, he decided. Gajeel would be with Levy and capable of passing on Natsu's concerns.

And then, Natsu decided he was going to Lucy's house, whether she liked it or not.


Lucy's house, much to Natsu's confusion, was empty. She was gone, nowhere to be found, the door all locked up tight. Grunting in frustration, Natsu shot a text to Gajeel about the matter. Gajeel had agreed to keep track of Natsu's process for Levy. She'd taken over the phone call when Natsu had contacted his cousin, admitting that Lucy hadn't called her after all. It worried him all the more. Where had Lucy gone?

He knew where she'd have gone in another life, but...in this one…

Natsu weighed his phone in his hand, puzzled. Would Gray know? Maybe. Deciding he didn't have anyone better than Gray or Levy to ask about the matter, Natsu dialed Gray's number and lifted the phone to his ear, starting down the street. She couldn't have gotten very far; her car was still in the driveway, untouched. When Gray picked up with a snarky hello, Natsu rolled his eyes and said impatiently, "Where would Lucy go if she was acting weird?"

"...what the hell is that supposed to mean?" snapped Gray.

Natsu huffed, annoyed that he had to explain himself. He didn't have time for this. He needed to find Lucy and figure out what the hell was going on with her. "Someone broke into the museum last night, and Lucy called me to tell me that the keys that were on display had been left in her house by whoever did it. I went to check on her 'cause she sounded off, but she's gone. She didn't drive anywhere, but she's gone. So where would she go if she was acting weird?"

Gray lost any trace of his aggravation immediately and sighed heavily. "I don't know. She moved recently, so it's probably not going to be the park near her old place, especially since she's on the other side of Magnolia. You could try some open space though." His voice softened with affection for his friend. "Lucy always liked big open spaces, away from everyone else. She liked to stargaze in them."

Of course she had. Even in this life, Lucy couldn't forget some old fondness for the celestial beings that were no longer capable of being summoned. Natsu's stomach twisted at the idea, and he pushed it from his head. Not now. Even if she wasn't the Lucy he wanted to go back to, the Lucy in his dreams, whose bed had been warm and smelled of honeyed starlight, she was still Lucy. And he had to find her and figure out what was going on that she wasn't telling him.

"I'll try that. Thanks, Gray," Natsu said, forcing himself to be polite even though he wanted to offer a snarky comment right back at him.

Gray grunted in response. "Let me know when you find her. If you can't, I'll come out and help. Oh, and if there's no parks or anything, try the highest point in the area. Lucy always liked to climb to the highest branches of trees when we were kids. Always said it made her feel closer to the stars."

Natsu agreed to tell Gray if he found her and hung up, looking around the area with a thoughtful expression. He knew how to get to Lucy's house, knew what it looked like and where it was and every possible way he could get into it. But he had no idea what existed in the surrounding area.

"Guess I'm taking a walk," muttered Natsu, and started off to do just that.

Sure enough, Natsu discovered there were no parks. He circled the neighborhood twice, checking in at Lucy's empty home often to ensure she'd still not come back for her car. Each time, it stood in her driveway reassuring him that she was still in the general area. The third time around, he decided to try trees and other such high places, as Gray had mentioned. He studied the highest branches with care, looking for any familiar flashes of gold.

Relief, delight, and worry flooded his chest, and the tight knot in his stomach loosened as he finally caught sight of it. There, as promised, was Lucy, among the tallest branches of a massive, centuries-old oak tree at the back of the neighborhood. Natsu wondered if she'd seen him walking and hadn't bothered to call out to him. He didn't as he approached the tree and debated the safest way of climbing up. He'd never been good at climbing trees, and had fallen here and there when he was young, making Igneel laugh or swear at him as he drove him to the nearest hospital to get his bones checked out.

Still, Natsu began the slow process of climbing the tree and was quite proud of himself when he made it to the top with relatively few to no problems. Lucy didn't so much as acknowledge him, her face tipped back to search the sky despite the sun that had risen long ago. He wondered how long she'd been out here - if she'd been out here when she'd called him several times.

With care, Natsu crouched on a branch that was a step lower than hers. He didn't dare add both of their weight to hers. With the luck he'd had lately, that branch would snap and send them tumbling to the grounds. He didn't feel like breaking his neck today.

Lucy didn't so much as look at him. Her dark eyes stared skyward despite the fact that the sun was creeping along the sky. Natsu hoped she wasn't staring at it head on, that she was simply watching the blue and clouds overhead. She sat there in silence as he made himself as comfortable as one could manage on a branch several dozen feet in the air.

Only when he was settled did Lucy say, "You didn't have to come out. I'm fine."

Natsu snorted loudly. "If that's what you call fine, then I was fine after I got shot." His stomach recoiled at the memory of crimson-stained gold, at the memory of how agonizing pain had parted way for the horrifying realization that this was not the world he remembered. He'd wanted a world of magic and freedom. This one felt stifling at the best of times, erasing the only thing he had from the original Igneel.

A smile tugged at her lips when he suddenly frowned with forced playfulness. "You're not gonna do what I did, right? Avoid me and be rude?"

"No, I'm not," she murmured, rolling her eyes. At last, she looked at him. He didn't like the bleak, haunted look that rested in her gaze. "And I forgave you for that a while back. You've been trying really hard."

At least she'd noticed. Carefully, Natsu reached up to gently poke her arm. "So what's up then? Why are you in this tree? I don't know if we're gonna be able to get down, Luce." There was a bit of honesty there. He really wasn't sure how he was going to go down without breaking something in the process. His track record with trees wasn't conducive to freedom from broken bones.

Lucy bit her lip, debating, and he wondered what was going through her head. When she spoke, it was carefully, as if she was picking among words to avoid telling him something. "I got overwhelmed. Between the nightmares and then the museum and now finding a piece from that museum in my house... I was stupid and touched the keys." As if to prove her point, she reached into her pocket and pulled them out, jingling them in front of his face. "I'm worried the cops are going to think I did it."

"I'm sure there's plenty of evidence saying otherwise," Natsu reassured. "Besides, you said you have a letter, right?"

Lucy nodded thoughtfully. He hoped, for just a moment, that she'd even produce said letter so he could take a glimpse at it. Yet, she didn't. Instead, she said, "Yes, I have the letter. I just…" Lucy tucked the keys away again and ran her fingers through her hair, yanking viciously at tangled knots. He wanted to tug her hand away, worried she'd hurt herself. "Sorry. I'm tired. Long night. We should get down from here, before someone calls someone about the two strange people in the trees." Even as she smiled at him, Natsu knew it was forced.

Still, Natsu agreed, and together, they climbed down. Natsu took longer than Lucy, but was proud to say he didn't break anything. When they reached the bottom, he discretely sent a text to Gray, letting him know that Lucy was safe, and then hid away his phone, determined. He was going to figure out what was wrong with the quiet woman.

"C'mon," he said, "don't you have a shift at the bakery?" If she was working, there'd be more than just him to keep an eye out.

"Yes." Lucy winced. "I'm late, actually. Not that Mira will care."

"Well, let's get going then." He nudged her along, eager to get a move on. The sooner he snapped her out of this daze she seemed to be in, the sooner he'd be able to find out what was wrong.


The heavy weight in the air lingered, even after he left the bakery that evening, telling Lucy he'd deliver the keys back to Levy when she'd taken her break and asked him to. She'd been shaken about something as she pressed them into his waiting palm with trembling fingers. Her eyes had been glazed over, filled with unshed tears.

Mirajane had vowed to keep a very close eye on her when he'd asked.

Natsu studied the keys as he headed for the museum. He'd checked with Gajeel, and Levy had remained at the museum. Gajeel, himself, had gone home a while back, wary of leaving Wendy on her own for so long. Natsu had suggested he go digging through the attic if he had the time; there was an entire section of stuff that had belonged to Metalicana.

It was difficult to get past the police that lingered on the scene, eyeing him suspiciously. He had to get Levy there before they'd let him in, and even then, they watched him with steely eyes. Levy ignored them all, leading the way to her office, which had remained untouched. Her cane clacked as she walked, though Natsu suspected she didn't need it here. When they reached her office, she ushered him inside and then whipped around, her brow creased with worry. "Lucy-"

"Lucy," Natsu cut off, "had the keys."

"What?" Levy spluttered and Natsu withdrew them from his pocket, jingling them gently. Levy held out her hand pointedly, biting her lip, and Natsu pressed them into her waiting palm, curling her fingers around them so she'd not drop them. Levy tipped her head, weighing them in her hand. Natsu knew she didn't need to see them to know they were real. There may have been no such thing as magic in this world they'd woken up in, but there sure as hell some kind of feeling to those keys that proved them to be real. "How-"

"Whoever stole them left them in her guest room," explained Natsu, running a hand through his pink hair tiredly. "She said that she was nervous about returning them because she thought the police would think she'd done it, so I promised to bring them back for you."

Levy pursed her lips into a hard line and jingled the keys fondly. "I can lie, tell them I must have forgotten to record where they'd been kept in my office for cleaning," she decided, turning away. She felt for her desk with a practiced hand and leaned her cane up against it. "Could you hand me the rag I keep on the right?" she asked without hesitation.

He passed it to her and she expertly found some kind of polish Natsu knew nothing about. With practiced ease, she carefully began wiping down each key, gently erasing what evidence might have lingered with chemicals and a soft cloth. "There," she murmured, resting the keys gently on a velvet display she kept in her office for cleaning purposes. "I'll tell the police after you leave. Natsu, do you know who did any of this? Who broke into Lucy's home?"
He narrowed his eyes a fraction, thinking. "No," he admitted quietly, "but Lucy...she mentioned she'd run into Zeref not that long ago."

Levy's spine locked and she pressed a hand over her mouth. She exhaled loudly, frustrated. "Damn," she swore softly. "I think it's safe to assume it was Zeref then…" She cocked her head a fraction. "I'll give Meredy a call in the morning," she decided. "She might know something that could help us. She was a thief after all."

Natsu couldn't help but snort with laughter. "Asking a thief to help with another," he muttered, shaking his head, and Levy pointed at him with a smirk. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered, waving her off. "I know, I did my fair share of stealing. But you can't prove anything. One, I never left behind evidence, and two, that was in a completely different world."

Levy merely hummed as if she didn't know what Natsu was talking about. "Lucy was unharmed?"

"As far as I could see. Just...upset. Really, really upset. Gray said he'd stop by the bakery. Said he'd claim he was in a fight with Juvia and that he needed a couch to stay on. Lucy can't tell him no." Natsu found he was a little irked that Gray hadn't considered that Natsu could do such a thing, but then she'd refused to say anything helpful to him. So, maybe she'd speak to Gray.

Levy chuckled, though there wasn't any mirth in her tone. "If anyone can help her feel better, it'll be Gray - no offense. Gray's more in line with this world than he is with our past lives, and he knows this Lucy really well."

"I'd say," said Natsu, nodding. "He helped me find her." He wasn't happy about it. He'd been the one to know Lucy best in a previous life, and while he still occasionally struggled with understanding the differences and how to make everything work...it hurt to know that this Lucy didn't rely on him. And he had no doubts that it was partially his own fault after Dimeria had triggered his memories.

As if sensing where his thoughts lay, Levy patted her friend's shoulder after carefully feeling for it and said simply, "I better get going. The longer I take to tell the police, the more suspicious we'll all look, Natsu."

"Right." Natsu sighed heavily. "Hopefully they don't suspect me."

Levy only patted his shoulder again.

It wasn't a comforting motion.


The next few days eased into something distinctly uncomfortable. Natsu stopped in at the bakery whenever Lucy was working, and she'd present him with his usual with a wide, teeth-baring grin that didn't match the look in her eyes. It was a look Natsu didn't understand, nor was it one that he found reassuring. She rarely stood around to chat either, even with her co-workers. She simply worked and spoke to no one if she could avoid it.

She stopped calling him about dreams and nightmares, and didn't drag him over to her place for company. She stopped speaking with him entirely outside of the professional exchange. She wouldn't even look at Natsu when she did so, her eyes drifting to everything but his face.

It struck one day why that might have been the case, and fear made his heart skip a beat as she set his plate in front of him with a tired, forced smile on her face. "Hey, Luce," he said as casually as he could, his gaze locked on her face. "Do you ever feel like your dreams really happened?"

She stilled for a moment, just a brief moment. And then, Lucy met his gaze for the first time in nearly three weeks and laughed, the sound cutting that thought to pieces. "No," she said simply. "No, they never happened. It's just weird nightmares that involve getting crushed by dragons and wishing someone else was here with me."

Her words cut like a knife, a fierce blow that made him flinch, and Lucy winced when she noticed. "Sorry," she murmured, "that came out wrong."

"It's fine," said Natsu, offering the clear lie without hesitation and she offered him a faint smile before scurrying off as she now tended to do, looking frustrated with herself. She muttered to herself as she left, her fingers curling into frustrated fists, and Natsu frowned after her. Something was definitely still off.

Propping his hand on his fist, Natsu didn't bother to look when someone slid into the seat across from him and spoke. "Everything alright?"

"No. Something's wrong with Lucy and I can't figure it out, even with Gray staying at her place," muttered Natsu, his gaze locked on the outside world. He watched it through the window, eyes following a few birds that fluttered by at high speeds. "She won't talk to me anymore."

Mirajane hummed. "It's alright, it's not just you." Natsu finally looked at her, a little confused. "She won't talk to any of us, Natsu. Even Gray mentioned that she'd not said anything to him over the last few days. Whatever's wrong, I hope she feels better soon. I miss having her happy-go-lucky attitude around this place." She sighed heavily. "I almost wish we could all just forget again. It seems like everything started going wrong when more of us started remembering, you know?"

Natsu mumbled his agreement, remembering his own recovery after realizing the truth. "Do you think she remembered? It doesn't seem like she did."

"Maybe. Some of us hide it better than others." Mirajane pressed her mouth into a hard line. "I think...I think Laxus remembered recently. He's been acting erratic, coming home at odd hours, asking a lot of questions about things that he never asked before. He's been doing a lot of research on his family history, too. I just wonder why he hasn't come to me yet."

Natsu's gaze followed Lucy as she slid some freshly baked pastries into a display case, having carefully brought them out of the kitchen with a furrowed brow. "Maybe he doesn't know that you remember, too."

"Maybe. I might try to approach him myself, if I catch him in a good mood. Still...sometimes, I wish I was oblivious again. I remember what it was like, and it seems much nicer than this confusing mess we find ourselves in now."


Some SC at long last! Sorry for the long wait and thank you for your patience. ;) Anyhow, some Natsu before we delve into Lucy's mind. :D

Thanks to reviewers (silverwolfwarrior13, little stuffs, Lodemai04, BetaDreamer, FairyTailxFanGirl, Anubis Cloudly, Amanny, 19vanelkc, SilentMockingjay, itsxoi, stranger1999, bored-out-of-my-mind247, lcr0718, Jellal frenandes, Butterflynemesis, the lemonroll, Meow Orbit, nkukurichan, Guest #1, Copperreign12, MagicalFoxInTheWilderness, Guest #2, PossiblyCece, goldenravish, Sanspree, izmeanghela, and Guest #3!) as well as those who favorited and followed!