Yeah, so I wrote this while trying to clear the writers block I STILL have with Octavius vs. Grievous. Basically it's life from a Stormtroopers point of view. Is it boring? A little. Is it gonna get better? shrug But read it anyways 'cause...I said so!
Cody slowly got out of his hammock bed and groaned. His back hurt a little but he would live. He slowly slid his slippers on and descended from his bed to the bathroom, which was a total mess. Towels were thrown carelessly in every direction and water stained infested the cracked walls.
He removed his blue, plain pajamas and walked into the shower. He turned on the water and let out a shriek. He grimaced. Butch forgot to pay Lord Vader the water bills again. Shivering, he quickly washed up and got out of the freezing shower.
He looked around the bathroom for his red robe, which was nowhere to be found. He let out a frustrated sigh.
"Butch!" he called out. He heard a slight mumble, then a "What?" outside the door.
"Where's my robe?"
"I dunno, Cody, where'd you last have it?"
The angered trooper wrapped a robe around himself and walked out of the bathroom, where he met his roommate, just waking up. "I could've sworn I left it right in here!" Cody cried.
Butch yawned loudly then walked into the bathroom. "Well, do you wanna use my robe for now?" he asked.
"No thanks." Cody responded as he got dressed, still dripping wet. He hated the feeling of putting clothes on when he was wet, because that would just make them wet, too. The he would have to go the whole day with damp clothes.
"Well, why not?" Butch asked.
"Aw, it's just not the same." His roommate responded. "I mean, it's nothin' personal but…I mean, it's like using someone else's toothbrush. It's just weird."
Butch then shut the door to the bathroom. "Well, what's wrong with sharing toothbrushes?"
Cody stared at the door in disbelief. "Can you honestly say that you enjoy sharing toothbrushes?" he asked.
"I don't see anything wrong with it. Yes!"
Cody made a face of disgust and continued dressing. He heard the sound of the shower turning on then a piercing scream.
"Cody, why didn't you pay Vader the friggen water bill!" Butch screamed. His roommate was about to protest, but decided it would be best to simply ignore his screaming buddy.
He put his red jumpsuit on, which was complete with his operation number, CK421, patched on the right side of his chest. He grabbed a small, black binder and called out, "I'm goin' downstairs, Butch!"
"Alright! Save me a seat! Oh, and an English muffin!"
"Right," the trooper responded quietly as he opened the door of his room and made is way to the elevator. There he met up with a huge group of other men, also dressed in red jumpsuits.
"Mornin', Cody," one of them said to him groggily.
"Hey, Mack." He responded. "Hey, did you catch A Wookie in Toledo last night?"
"Yeah, I did. Man, it was a total shock. Yeah, so turns out that the Wookie's adoptive father really came from Alderaan, not Naboo! The Wookie was, you know, just crushed to find this out and…"
"Did you tape it for me?"
Mack stopped and a look of horror shot across his face. "Oh, Cody, I completely forgot!"
"You did? Hm…"
"Hey, man, I'm sorry, but I was lookin' foreword to it and I just forgot."
"No biggie…even though it was the season finale." The elevator doors opened and there were at least ten other troopers inside. Cody, Mack, and the others crammed themselves in as Mack continued his apology.
"Look, Cody, why don't you ask someone else like…Jordo! I'm sure he taped it."
"Yeah, Jordo tapes everything from 'The Jedi Apprentice' to 'The Fairly OddEwoks.'"
They laughed and continued to get shoved into the back wall of the tiny elevator.
"Ya know, someone outta complain to Vader. Tell 'im we need bigger elevators." Mack complained.
"Yeah, or like an escalator or somethin'."
"Every little bit helps." The doors opened again and the troopers walked out into a crowded cafeteria. There they waited in the incredibly long line and awaited their breakfast.
"So where's Butch?" Mack asked.
"Eh, he's still getting' dressed." replied Cody. "Oh, by the way, have you seen my robe?"
The trooper looked at Cody curiously. "Why the hell would I have yer robe?"
Cody shrugged. "I dunno, it's just that I had it last night and now I can't find it."
They finally reached the front of the line and grabbed trays. "Oh, yeah, and I've made a hobby outta stealin' yer robes in the middle of the night, is that it?"
"Hey, hey, don't get defensive. I was just wonderin'."
They grabbed some oranges and approached the milk. Mack, of course, got his chocolate and Cody gottwo white for himself and strawberry for Butch. Once they passed by the pastries, Mack got two doughnuts and Cody grabbed a bagel and, remembering what his roommate asked, an English muffin.
They gave their trays to the cafeteria druid who sloped down a large pile of gunk on them. Cody gave a slight nod and went to their table, carrying the brown-mixed-with-green-chunks glob.
"Man, I can't believe we're having Mynock-meal again." Mack complained.
His friend shoved a spoonful in his mouth. "well," he said with his mouth full. "It's better than that time we had Opee See Killer tongue."
Mack made another disgusted face. "Yeah, or that…winged stuff. What was it called?"
"Geonosian stew." answered Butch, who had just arrived at the table. "Thanks for the chow, Cody." He said thankfully.
"No problem. Hey, any luck findin' my robe?"
"Nope, I'm sorry." Butch said, eating his English muffin. Cody buried his face in his hands.
"I just can't remember where I must've put it." He said to himself, aggravated.
"Well, we'll help you look after inspection." Mack said. "Then I'll ask Jordo for a copy of A Wookie in Toledo for ya, alright?"
"Yeah…" and he sipped him milk. After breakfast they walked down to the Armor Wash. There, Washing Droids were just finishing up the daily Stormtrooper laundry. They all looked for their suits.
"Hey, has anyone seen suit number CK421?" Cody cried out into the crowd. Of course, no one heard him, so it took them all about two hours to find their correct suits.
"Man that's hell, huh?" Mack asked.
"It's only hell if you make it hell, Mack." Butch responded, putting his armor on over his jumpsuit. As Cody was putting his leg cuffs on, a question entered his mind.
"Hey, what's the purpose of this armor anyways?" he asked. The two troopers looked at him.
"Well, it's for protection, dumbass." Mack said crudely. "What else is armor for?"
"Yeah, but if you actually watch the security tapes, a Rebel's blasters or a lightsabor could easily go right through this."
"Cody's right," Butch said, knocking on his helmet. "It's just plastic."
Mack sighed. "We own the entire galaxy and we can still only afford plastic hand-me-downs."
An alarm interrupted them as a voice came over the loud-speaker. "ATTENTION ALL UNITS! ATTENTION ALL UNITS! THE EMPEROR'S LAMBDA-CLASS SHUTTLE HAS BEEN SIGHTED ON OUR RAIDAR! ALL UNITS REPORT TO THE MAIN HANGER FOR INSPECTION!"
Butch gasped. "It's the boss." He said, biting his nails nervously.
"Who cares?" Cody said simply. "He never pays any attention to Stormtroopers. He's, like, obsessed with Vader."
"Man, I would give anything to be in his shoes," Butch said dreamily. Mack gave him a nudge in the arm.
"And walk around breathin' like that?" he asked. "No way! Besides, it's not like his armor works either. His is plastic, too, except it's in black."
"Ya know, next time we have another Storm meeting, I'm requesting a uniform change."
Will Cody ever find his robe? Will Butch get his wish of being in Vader's shoes? Will they ever get their uniform change? STAY TUNED!
