this will not be posted several times a week - the only reason it's being posted a day after the initial update is because of the previous chapter's short length
also:
DO NOTE that this will be angsty, and rei will be annoyingly edgy at points, but he will get better as the story continues
so... please don't leave reviews about how he's super cringe and edgy and whatnot ;,D
otherwise, feel free to review. i love reading those. woo!
(He was four when people started calling him 'Yurei.' First by children who'd learn to hate him because of their parents, and who snickered each time the nickname was spat in his direction, and then by adults, who used the name to bypass the Hokage's law.
Rei thought it fitting, in an ironic sort of way.
His eyes were as blue as the Yondaime's, yet resembled still lakes rather than the tumultuous oceans that colored the man's irises. His hair was as red as Kushina's, and to those in the know, was a clear indicator that he was from a long-dead clan. Even the Kyuubi's visage was represented by the neat, black marks that outlined his eyes.
He was an ugly mashup of all of them - a ghost of what had been, and what could have been.
And perhaps more ironic was that he'd doomed the world by simply existing. He wasn't a hero, and he couldn't delude himself into thinking he could ever be one. But, for whatever reason, he'd survived when Minato and Kushina hadn't - when Narutohadn't. He'd ruined the story before it could even begin.
He didn't know why he expected anything else.)
"—un. Rei-kun ."
Rei's eyes flicked upwards, just in time to catch the Hokage's lips twitching into a minute frown.
"Are you alright?"
He paused, gaze drifting down to his ramen. Probably cold, since it hadn't been touched in nearly twenty minutes. He closed his eyes, before letting out a quiet breath and opening them once again. "Sure."
"Have you already eaten?" the man asked, as if he didn't already know the answer. "Or are you feeling unwell?"
Rei pursed his lips, fiddling with his chopsticks. "I thought this was supposed to be about a new apartment."
The Hokage looked older, suddenly, before he pasted on a grandfatherly smile. "Well, yes, but I figured you wouldn't be against a quick meal."
Well, I guess even the God of Shinobi is wrong sometimes , he thought, but didn't say.
Instead, Rei gave a halfhearted shrug. "I'm just tired," he told him, still staring at his uneaten bowl of ramen. The noodles had swelled after soaking up the broth, and the toppings had sunk into the thick, yellow web. "I didn't sleep well last night."
"Ah," the Hokage let out, as if not believing him. He let it go anyway. "Well, Rei-kun, it's important to get proper rest - especially since you'll be joining the Academy soon."
Rei's grip tightened around his chopsticks. Is that all you see when you look at me? Another one of your child soldiers?
He briefly closed his eyes. "I know."
He didn't bother offering up another excuse. He really was tired.
The Hokage remained silent for a moment before letting out a slightly strained chuckle. "Right, well… If you'd accept it, I have a gift for you, Rei-kun." Rei raised his gaze, watching as the man pulled a toad-shaped clip-purse from his robe. "A money pouch," the man explained, "It's filled with your monthly allowance, as well as a little extra in celebration of the move."
Oh? A celebration for being kicked out of the orphanage? You shouldn't have, sir.
Rei stared at the object for just long enough for it to be awkward, then took it from the Hokage's wrinkled hand. "Thanks," he said, attempting to sound at least slightly chipper. He knew, though, that his tone fell flatter than intended.
"You're welcome," the Hokage said instead of pointing it out. "Just make sure to spend it wisely."
Rei eyed the man, wondering if he genuinely thought that a five-year-old would heed his warnings instead of learning the lesson the hard way. If he did… well, he supposed that he already knew that Konoha's childcare system was lacking.
"Now then," the Hokage continued, pushing himself from his seat and placing money on the countertop. He offered an absent smile and thank you to the stall owner, who responded with a smile of his own, slightly dipping his head before continuing to put another customer's bowl together. "You wished to see your apartment, yes? Why don't we go there together?"
"It's fine," Rei said before he could stop himself, causing the Hokage to pause. He suppressed a grimace and forced himself to push on. "I'd rather find it myself, if that's okay."
The Hokage's brows furrowed. "Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to get lost."
"I wanted to look around the village anyway," Rei replied, sliding off his own seat. "I wasn't really able to before."
That was true, at least. He'd been to the park closest to the orphanage a few times, and he'd made a few trips elsewhere when the caretakers weren't watching, but that was about it. He hadn't wanted to push his luck, and for those first few years, he was too caught up in his own head to care much, anyway.
"...Right then," the Hokage said eventually, sounding more tired than before. Rei felt slightly guilty before he squashed the feeling down. "The address is in the pouch as well." He offered a small smile, and Rei couldn't tell if he was imagining that it seemed almost sad or not. "Have a good day, Rei-kun."
The man began walking off, then, bringing the sound of creaking wood with him. Rei watched him disappear into the distance, absently stuffing the frog purse back into his pocket before turning in the direction of the Hokage Monument.
(The first time he laid eyes upon Nonou Yakushi, Rei felt like he was going to vomit.
Half-forgotten memories of 'Naruto' burst to the forefront of his mind, reminding him just how out of place he was in his new life.
He'd stared at her, frozen, only able to think about how, soon enough, her life would be cut short. How her death would be the catalyst for Kabuto's insanity, and how there wasn't a thing he could do about it.
So he ran. Ran back to his room the moment he spotted her, and remained there until he was silently dragged out by a caretaker with a pinched expression three days later.
He found himself looking for her throughout the rest of the day, though learned through snippets of conversation that she'd left in the morning. His skin didn't stop crawling, but he did remember feeling relieved, as if he'd somehow dodged a bullet.
He was wrong, as he tended to be with that sort of thing.
Nonou visited every few months, Rei learned, and she remained at the orphanage for anywhere between two days and two weeks. He didn't know what for, but he did know that he needed to avoid her.
Eventually, though, his luck ran out.
He'd gotten injured, pushed over by a brat a few years older than him, and when he'd fallen, a rock had nicked his eyebrow.
Rei wasn't horribly injured, but head wounds tended to bleed a lot, and even though the caretakers didn't like him, they didwant to make sure that he wasn't killed, lest they be punished in some way or another.
While he was sure other things happened between, it felt like one moment he was on the ground, dazed, and the next, he'd been shoved towards a woman who sounded like wind chimes.
She tutted at him, and he watched with wide eyes as she brought a glowing, green hand up to his forehead, knitting his skin back together. And, just as his thoughts had stopped buffering, she dropped her arm and offered a knowing smile before sending him on his way.
Rei knew, then, that she'd known he'd been avoiding her for the past year. In hindsight, he should've figured it out sooner, considering her connection with ROOT.
After that, he began watching Nonou from afar, curious despite himself, and she pretended that she didn't see him staring. But they never directly interacted again, outside of the one-time healing session. She glanced at him every now and then, sure, but they'd never exchanged so much as a single word to one another.
Somehow, he didn't notice that she'd been helping him for a while after she'd healed him. He only learned because a kid had offhandedly commented on her leaving his room just minutes before Rei returned to find a plate of the dinner that he'd missed that night. He noticed other little things after that, too. Saw how she captured kids' attention just before they could head over to bother him, or how she 'lost' things like flashcards and books in his room, or even how she'd leave a box of medical masks on his bedside table each time she visited, having noticed how nauseous he'd become whenever he was forced to scrub something clean with chemicals.
Maybe it was inevitable, then, that he got used to her kindness. Became fond of her, even though he knew what she'd done - what she would do, and what she still did- and even though he knew what would happen to her.
So it was inevitable, too, that Rei felt like the rug had been ripped from beneath him when she'd disappeared.
When, a few months before turning six, he received a cloth mask instead of a box of disposable ones. When two weeks passed, and he began hearing whispers of Nonou's resignation from her primary orphanage - the one just outside of the main part of Konoha. When everyone acted like she'd dropped off the face of the planet, since no one had seen her since.
When, just a few weeks after she'd left, he found himself shivering on the front steps of the orphanage, left with nothing but the clothes on the back and a mask in his hand.)
Rei sat atop the Yondaime's head, feeling cold hair prick at his cheeks as his eyes roved over Konoha.
The first time he'd seen the view - swaying leaves, chatting civilians, and shinobi leaping from roof to roof - he'd been awestruck, though only briefly. The sight only served to remind him that he didn't belong; that he was an anomaly in a world so different from the one he'd lived in Before.
He visited often, nonetheless. Maybe because it offered him an escape from prying eyes, or maybe because it allowed him to feel normal, if only for a while. Either way, it was better than joining those below; better than feeling disconnected when he'd see the world in full, breathtaking definition one moment, and as dull and fake the next.
With an exhale, Rei closed his eyes, listening to the rustling of the nearby trees. Konoha, he'd learned early on, had been riddled with them. He supposed he should've expected as much from a place called 'The Village Hidden in the Leaves,' but neither the anime nor the manga could showcase just how many there were scattered about - whether that be in Konoha's vast forests, or between apartments, shops, and so on.
A moment later, he leaned back until his head pressed against warm, sun-soaked stone. He'd remain there for a few hours, he decided, before going 'home.'
It wasn't like anyone would be waiting for him there, anyway.
(Contrary to what he'd expected, Rei wasn't banned from entering certain areas, nor was he overcharged for whatever he bought. Sometimes he was glared at, and other times he was ignored, but he was never outright stoppedfrom doing anything.
Not officially, anyway.
There was one place where he was not welcome, even if he was allowed to enter the area, and that was the Kyuubi Monument.
Rei couldn't say he was surprised when he figured that one out.
He'd stumbled into the area once, a few months after turning four, and had barely caught a glimpse of the giant stone wall before he was bolting away from a mob of angry civilians.
He got away without getting hurt, in the end. They'd stopped following him once he'd rushed into a nearby patch of trees - one of Konoha's many miniature forests - and with that obvious warning, he should've avoided the place like the plague.
He didn't, because while he wasn't keen on dying again, his sense of self-preservation was lacking.
Rei hung around the edges of the clearing, watching from afar as people lit incense and offered quiet prayers for those who'd fallen during the Kyuubi attack. It was a place he kept returning to, despite the somber mood, if only because it was quiet and out of the way.
It wasn't until half a year later, when he'd finally gotten close enough to see the names carved into the stone, that he read the name 'Naruto Namikaze,' right next to 'Minato Namikaze.'
He'd already known, by then, that the boy must've been dead, or had never been born at all. Really, all the monument did was confirm his suspicions.
For whatever reason, though, that line of reasoning didn't make him feel any better.)
He knew, before he'd even made it to his front door, that someone was in his apartment. Someone distantly familiar, sounding like muffled thunder.
After a brief, surprised pause, Rei pushed his door open just when the sound disappeared. He flicked the lights on, and blinked when he saw the brown paper bag that was left on top of his dining room table.
Slowly, he closed the door behind him and moved towards the table, curious. He hadn't heard the sound in nearly two years by that point, and he'd figured that the ANBU it belonged to had been taken off his roster, for whatever reason.
(Because he did, in fact, still have ANBU watching over him. They just weren't visible or present like they were when he was younger.)
After a moment of staring at the bag - just a normal one for shopping, he concluded - he reached inside, fingers brushing against something soft.
Rei grabbed the item fully, then lowered his gaze to stare uncomprehendingly at the sleeping cap in his hand.
He wasn't even sure what it was supposed to be. If he squinted, it kind of looked like a dog, but the squared overbite suggested otherwise.
Or maybe it didn't. It wouldn't be the first time that the thought process of people in this world bewildered him.
After several seconds, he shook his head and reached into the bag once more.
Out came a ratty, shuriken-patterned blanket, and an old, stuffed toad - both given to him when he was a toddler, and kept because even after having been reborn, he'd never gotten over the bad habit of keeping things from his childhood.
He took a breath and allowed his lips to curl into a wry smile.
"Thank you."
*yurei roughly means 'ghost', hence the mentions of it being ironic
also i know the mask is kinda cringe, but you can pry that and the kakashi parallels from my cold, dead hands :)
CH2:
The chapter (quickly) goes through years 1-6.
Rei has lunch with the Hokage, where he receives a toad wallet and his new address, having been kicked out of the orphanage after Nonou - who was the first canon character he interacted with - was whisked back into ROOT, making him even more uncomfortable with the world he now lives in. This was his first proper meeting with Hiruzen, having last met him as an infant. When he was four, Rei confirmed that Naruto (Namikaze here, rather than Uzumaki; nobody knows that he and Rei are related) had died. In the end, one of his old ANBU returned his childhood items.
thanks for reading!
