The events of the past 24 hours have left me spent, emotionally and physically. I'm not as young as I used to be…seeing my son reminds me of how I once was, young and impetuous, brimming with promise and talent…I can't help but think that Luke must be disappointed- no, horrified, to learn that I am his father. It was obvious from his reaction that he was. He told me you killed him...He hated me before he ever set eyes on me, Kenobi saw to that. Hoping that my son would finish me off, were you Kenobi? Hoping he'd have the nerve to do what you couldn't do? The thought of my former master twisting my son's mind infuriates me, and only adds to the foulness of my mood. I haven't slept in 72 hours…and though I am exhausted I doubt I shall sleep tonight either. There is too much going on in my head, too much to think about right now. And where does Sidious fit into all this? How much did he know? I'm afraid, in your anger, you killed her… The liar! If I wasn't sure if I hated him before, I know for certain that I do now. I have no doubt that he wants to use Luke now the way he used me, in fact, I expect he hopes to replace me with my own son. The irony of it all… I must be sure to guard my thoughts from him with greater diligence than ever. He must never suspect what I am planning, for it would mean the end for me and for Luke. I will not let him win this time…I have already lost too much because of him…
Sleep is fitful, but I am grateful for even a few hours. I awaken with a mind numbing headache, which only intensifies when I remember that Sidious is waiting for a report. And what am I going to tell him? That I had a joyful reunion with my son? That he and his friends escaped yet again? He is already displeased with me for spending so much time tracking down the renegades; now I have to tell him that they are no longer in my custody. That is sure to make things worse…
My conversation, if one can use the term in this case, with Sidious is stranger than usual, and it has disturbed me. He seems to be far too calm about my failure to apprehend Luke and the other rebels, and it arouses my suspicion immediately. I know this old man too well not to mistrust him. He is far too interested in the plans for his new Death Star – I don't buy it. Nevertheless, I pretend to, and play the part of the dutiful apprentice, as I have for these past 22 years; a part I have come to know all too well.
"There is a dispute in the Mandalore System that I need you to look into," instructs Sidious. "Make sure that the governor there does not go unpunished for his treachery."
"As you wish," I say, bowing low as the transmission fades out.
The Mandalore System? He is sending me on an errand that any junior officer of the fleet could see to. Is this his way of punishing me for what he perceives as my failure? Or perhaps its just a slap in the face to keep me in my place…I cannot help but feel that he feels threatened by the knowledge that I have a son…a son that could destroy him…It is of no matter; in fact, the more distance I can put between my master and myself the better.
"Lord Vader!"
I turn to see Piett approaching me as I head for the bridge.
"What is it, Admiral?" I ask him, not slowing down.
"I...I was just wondering, milord, if you had remembered to contact the Emperor," he reminds me as he hurries to keep up with me.
"Yes," I reply. "I did. How thoughtful of you to remind me."
Piett isn't quite sure what to make of my comment, and his face reddens. "Forgive me if I've overstepped milord," he replies. "I couldn't help but notice that you've been rather preoccupied since we left Bespin, and I wanted to…"
"Yes, you're right about that," I cut in. "That is why I appreciate you keeping me on my toes, Piett. You're a good man. I wish I had more like you around here."
Piett stops dead in his tracks shocked no doubt by my words. I am not very generous when it comes to praise; that he knows well enough.
"Thank you, Lord Vader!" he gushes. "It is my honor to serve you!"
I wave him off, not wanting him to get too emotional on me, and turn my attention to the young officer who stands waiting to give me his report.
"The fleet has been deployed, My Lord," he reports, nervous perspiration standing out on his forehead. "We…we have had no leads on the Millennium Falcon from any quadrant as of yet, sir."
I nod in understanding. No doubt the rebels were on the other side of the galaxy by now, along with my son…
"Set course for the Mandalore System," I tell him. "At once."
The young officer looks perplexed, and glances over my shoulder to where Piett, his mentor no doubt, is standing.
"At once, milord!" he replies, moving to see to my orders. I turn back to Piett who has joined me on the bridge.
"One of your protégé?" I ask him.
Piett smiles. "Yes, milord," he replies. "A promising young man, otherwise I'd not trust him with such responsibility."
"No, of course not," I concur, only half listening to him as I turn to the vast window and the unending sea of stars without.
Piett I silent for a moment, and then walks over to stand beside me. I can sense his trepidation, but beneath that his desire to somehow make a connection with me. He is the first, the only man in this entire fleet who has ever done so, and it puzzles me. Does he feel some sort of sense of obligation to me because I promoted him so quickly? No, it doesn't feel like that …it's more personal, almost as though he wants to know the man that is feared and even hated by everyone …even his own son…
"The Mandalore System, sir?" he asks me. "May I ask what takes us there?"
I keep my eyes fixed on the stars. "A trade dispute," I reply.
Immediately I sense Piett's surprise. "A trade dispute?" he echoes. "But my lord, there are ships much closer than we are who could deal with it much more…"
"I am well aware of that, Admiral," I cut him off brusquely. "The emperor, however, feels that I am needed, and so we shall do his bidding."
"Of course, my lord," replies Piett, chastened. He says nothing more, and I can sense in him the frustration that must come with serving someone as demanding and mercurial as I am…
"I will be in my quarters," I tell him as I brush past him. "Notify me when we've reached Mandalore."
"Yes, Lord Vader," replies Piett.
I don't need a friend, Piett; all I need is for you to do your job without screwing up too much…can you handle that? I think sourly as I head for my quarters. My head aches unceasingly, and the thought of taking a sleeping aid crosses my mind. I remember a time when I prided myself on never needing to take meds, but that time ended after Mustafar. There are times when the pain is crippling, and the only way I can function is by means of a steady dose of pain deadeners. But a sleep agent is what I need now- it may be the only way I will get the rest my body is crying out for.
The sleep aid does its job, and I fall into a deep slumber. I dream of things that my conscious mind refuses to remember; of my mother, and the night she died. Ani? Is it you? Ani? Oh look at you…my grown up son…I'm so proud of you…now I am complete…. I wasn't strong enough to save her…in fact, it's my fault that she died, because of my ambition, my selfishness…if I'd never left on that day with Qui-Gon Jinn she never would have died…
It is a familiar reproach, one that I have wrestled with for over two decades now. What would she think of her Ani now? I cannot help but wonder. Would she be proud of the position of power I hold? Or ashamed of the monster I have become? She would be proud of Luke… I realize; how could she not be? I certainly am…
8 weeks, eight long, tedious weeks are spent in the Mandalore System. The trade dispute amounts to not much more than a petty squabble between bureaucrats, and I feel embarrassed and frustrated to have been ordered to referee the two idiots. At the back of my mind I cannot help but wonder if the real reason I was sent here to was get me out of the way, in a manner of speaking. What are you up to now, Sidious? Why are you taking such pains to keep your actions a secret from me?
"My lord, there is a transmission from the Emperor coming through," I am informed by one of the junior officers on the bridge.
"Send it to my quarters," I order him, wishing to take the message in private. If he is about to chastise me yet again, I'd rather not let the men see it. I walk to my quarters, dreading the communication, steeling myself for the encounter. Determined not to let him know what it is my thoughts, I raise my guard, shutting him out.
"The situation has been brought under control, my master," I inform Sideous as he waits expectantly for my report, which I deliver. He seems terribly uninterested in the machinations of the treaty I have arranged – there is something else on his mind, and I know what it is. His new Death Star…
"I have a new assignment for you, Lord Vader," he tells me, not bothering to comment on my success in the Mandalore situation. "The Death Star is weeks behind schedule," he tells me bluntly. "That idiot Jerjerrod has bungled things up completely. I need you to go make sure that they get back on schedule. I want that Death Star completed on time, and it's your job to see that it is."
"Yes, my master," I reply dutifully.
"Make course for the Endor system at once," he commands. "In four weeks time I shall come myself to inspect your progress, Lord Vader. Be sure that I am not disappointed."
The transmission fades out as I bow perfunctorily, my heart burning with hatred for this thing that I call my master.
